Autobot Pranks
by DaemonicKitten
Summary: Sunny and Sides decide to drive the other Autobots insane the best way they know how. With the help of the Earth's Worldwide Web, they come up with numerous ways to prank them. Poor Autobots. Mostly canon pairings.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer** : I don't own it.

**Note** : I'm super hyper because of a really big ice cappochino today, and I was thinking up pranking ideas for the twins when I thought of something friends and I used to joke about during high school. Different ways to drive a teacher insane. LOL! This is only a one-shot, but depending on how many pranks I can find, it might be a mini-series, all focused on the twins pranking an Autobot.

**Summary** : Sunny and Sides decide to drive the other Autobots insane the best way they know how. With the help of the Earth's Worldwide Web, they come up with numerous ways to prank them. Poor Autobots.

**Warnings** : Maybe some Cybertronian foul language. That's about it.

**Rating** : 'T' for language

**Pairings** : More or less Canon.

**Legend** :

"Speaking"

_Thoughts_

_**Lyrics**_

**(Scene/POV Changes)**

**Flashbacks/Visions/Dreams**

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**(Normal POV)**

Optimus cycled his vents in a sigh as he walked down one of the massive halls of the new base he, and the humans' government had set up, under Hoover Dam. He looked to a data pad he carried, where lists of inventory, new arrivals, and public grievances were waiting his review.

And as usual, the lamborghini twins, Sideswipe and Sunstreaker were number one on the grievances list.

It didn't help they had it out for Prowl, Ratchet and Ironhide.

It also didn't help they'd enlisted the help of Sam, at times Mikaela, and a few other humans and Autobots milling around the base. Sometimes he didn't wonder if the Decepticon attacks weren's a blessing in disguise, seeing as how it kept them in perspective.

Optimus only thanked Primus they had seemingly decided to stay with targeting the three Autobots who knew best how to handle the adolescents. The last thing he needed was the military getting involved in their pranks. Well...anymore so than Will's willingness to help them out, or Epps' obvious enjoyment of their jokes.

Turning a corner, Optimus raised an optic ridge when he passed the said twins, heading down the hall in his direction. They were whistling innocently, an action that usually meant they had just finished setting up one of their pranks. And no thanks to the Earth's Worldwide Web, they had no shortage of pranks to pull. Catching their optics, he narrowed his own optics and watched as Sunstreaker grinned broadly, before Sideswipe nudged him visciously.

Which left a big scratch.

Which made Sunstreaker let out a surprisingly feminine screech.

"Watch the paint!" Sunstreaker smacked Sideswipe on the back of the head, before stalking off down the hall, muttering under his breath about careless younger siblings.

Shaking his head, Optimus turned and began down the hall once again, taking his time as he kept an eye out for the overly squishly humans that tended to seemingly appear underfoot randomly.

Hmm... Perhaps Sam's joking suggestion of a 'Human Crossing' sign had some merit.

By the time he got to his office, he'd forgotten all about running into the lamborghinis and swiped his hand over the panel outside his door, to open it. With a soft hiss, the door slid up and out of the way, and he ducked slightly -for not even the Autobot-sized doors were high enough for him- and entered the quiet room. Pausing a moment, he carefully eyed the room.

_They've never targeted me before, but I wouldn't put it past those two to suddenly decide to hit me now._ His optics scanned the room, before running _scans_ on the room. Nothing _appeared _ to be out of place, so he wandered in, placing the data pad on the desk as he walked around and pulled out the seat. Still seeing no problems, he sat down on the cushioned surface, grimacing against the unusual feelings. _Humans, and their...'perks'. _He'd never had need of such 'comforts' but apparently the humans didn't understand that.

They'd insisted his seats and recharge bay were fully padded.

Returning his attention to his work, Optimus once again took up the pad. He skimmed through the grievance notes, taking notice it was more or less _all_ about the pranks of the twins, and ignoring the comments since they all came from the same three 'bots. In all honesty, he wasn't sure there was a whole lot he could do about them, they were still fairly young and rebellious.

Still...he _would_ need to have a talk with them about messing around with Prowl's faulty logistic routines. As occasionally amusing as it was, it wasn't necessarily a good thing, regardless is Ratchet explained it wasn't all that _dangerous_.

He took more time and care on the other aspects, sending a notice to Ratchet about acquiring more raw materials to be used to help repair injured Autobots, and placed the pad back down. Reaching out, he went to lift a second data pad in front of him, which had been there when he came in.

When it wouldn't budge, he frowned. He dug his fingers in a little harder, and pulled hard. Then he winced before his eyes got wide, as a large hole erupted in the top of the wooden desk it had apparently been..._glued_ to? Looking closer, he shuttered his optics and cycled his vents.

_Superglue._ Shaking his head, he put the pad down on another part of the desk and messaged Ironhide to discipline the twins for ruining a gift from the humans, though he _had_ warned said humans that a _wooden_ desk would probably be less efficient than a metal one. He then reached out for a container he'd laid at the edge of the desk before, which he usually used for his morning energon.

That, too, was stuck, but Optimus wisely chose not to pry at it, already fearing his desk was beyond repair. "I need to have a word with those two." He muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose before cycling his vents _yet again_, and standing up.

....Only to feel the chair come with him.

He paused, his optics widening with horror as the realization hit him.

_Not just the desk._ His optics narrowed dangerously as he felt his irritation rise, and he stood up straight, effectively breaking the back off the metal chair with a loud crunch and clang. Then he took two steps back, walked around his desk, and reached back, pulling.

It didn't budge.

He pulled, and he pulled, and he let out a fairly impressive snarl when he realized the chair itself was made of Cybertronian metal, and would not break easily. Even the cushion seemed to refuse to tear, and after a moment, he sighed.

Accessing his internal communications link, he took a deep breath and mentally forced down his rising anger. "Sideswipe, Sunstreaker, I'd like to have a word with you, if I may. As soon as you can be at my office." He'd let the message out over the entire network, more than aware that all the Autobots would hear it, and know full well the twins were in trouble.

He mentally compared it to a 'naughty student being ordered to the principal's office'.

Then again, that was full well what this was. Walking over to his door, he swiped his hand over the panel, and very nearly groaned when the door beeped in the negative, remaining shut. _I'm going to make those twins wash every floor in the base, with Ironhide watching over them, and giving 'Hide full permission to blast them if they try anything. No, I'm going to make them help Ratchet do inventory._ He reached out and repeated the gesture, ending up with the same lack of effect.

Turning slowly, he paused and winced when the chair banged against another chair that was in the room, sending the other flying. _Primus, help me._ Reaching back, he once again began his tug of war with the chair, not giving up, despite it's seeming lack of doing what he wanted. He pulled and pulled, letting out grunts as he tried to get better leverage and pulled.

He even bent over, hoping that would help. When it didn't, he turned his back to a metallic desk right beside the door, and began to squat down, listening to the bangs the chair made as it met the resisting metal of the desk. He winced, as he felt the cushion moving around, but it didn't seem to be doing any good.

Just as he was about to hit the desk again, the door beeped and swung open, revealing the twins...and Prowl.

Optimus' second in command froze at the sight in front of him. His commanding officer was standing sidways at the door, bent over and with a _chair_ stuck to his aft. "Sir...?" _Warning, system overload._ It definitely wasn't every day the twins were daft enough to even target Prime himself, let alone get away with it. It also threatened to overload his sensors, seeing the utterly ridiculous display in front of him.

Sunstreaker and Sideswipe's jaws dropped in tandem, and they began to howl with laughter, almost doubling over at the utterly ridiculous image their boss 'bot was portraying right now. Even seeing the dark look on his face, and knowing they were going to be punished, they couldn't help but laugh.

He blinked a moment, taking in the horrified and humiliated gaze of his leader and trying not to think of how _wrong_ this looked, before Optimus grunted and slammed his aft down in a harsh squat.

**Riiiipppppppp!**

**Clatter!**

The cushion ripped and the chair fell to the ground loudly, leaving Optimus standing there with a rather..._fuzzy_ behind.

_Does not compute._ Blinking again, Prowl looked from his normally majestic leader's angry, embarrassed expression, to the chair on the floor. He didn't know whether to be angry, amused or horrified. His left optic twitched. _Does not compute._ His mind couldn't wrap around how Optimus had actually fallen victim to one of their pranks. All of a sudden, there was a loud pop, and smoke started to seep through Prowl's helmet. His optics offlined, and he keeled over, hitting both twins as he did a nose dive to the ground.

"Watch my paint!" Sunstreaker yelled, moving aside, even as Sideswipe at least _tried_ to catch the larger 'bot.

As the twins took another look around them and once again began cracking up, Optimus let out that groan, and shook his head. He called for Ratchet internally, before quickly hiding a smirk. _**'Ratchet, when you get here, do me a favor and bring Ironhide, and a large can of superglue.'**_

After all, if the twins found his humiliation so funny, maybe they'd like to spend a week glued to each other.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Hope you like it.

R+R please.

Thank you.

Tenshi


	2. Ratchet The Switch

**Disclaimer** : I don't own it.

**Firefly95 -** LOL, that's what had me laughing about it. Imagining the chair stuck to Optimus, his facial expressions, and him trying to tug/whack the chair off.

**The Pumpkin Guardian** - Here you go, I just wrote this one. I can't guarantee it'll be funny, but this was the idea that hit me. I do hope you enjoy it either way. :)

**DenisTheMenace12** - LOL, It was just too wrong of an image not to laugh at, huh?

**Rubyswordmaster** - LOL, no one is out of the reach of the twins.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**(Normal POV)**

Being stuck in his office all day, working on repairing damaged Autobots, getting out was a nice relief. While some of his sub-routines still screamed there were injuries to fix, and a mess to clean up, Ratchet forcefully ignored them, knowing he needed to recharge, or he risked making a mistake.

And who would he be if he didn't follow his own advice, once in a while?

At least things had calmed down, since Sunstreaker and Sideswipe showed up last minute to help NEST take out a couple of Decepticons in France. Now, if only they stayed that way. As new arrivals, with all of the tours and such, Ratchet could only hope the troublesome twins would be far too busy to get back to their usual pranking ways.

Luckily, since Ironhide was in fairly good condition, that left him to be the one to explain to the humans why more Autobots dreaded seeing the twins than anything. It didn't help they seemed to like to target himself and Ironhide more than anyone.

Well, that wasn't true. Prowl, while being an amazing officer, had a faulty logistics program, which often resulted in the temporary offlining of the soldier, when they were overtaxed. Someone, Ratchet forgot whom, made the dreadful mistake of mentioning this to the twins, and instead of seeing this as the unforunate problem it was, they saw it as a golden opporunity.

_**'Ratchet to Prime.'**_ A thought had just occured to him. _**'We had best ask our human allies to increase the amount of medical supplies they usually bring in.'**_ Considering that more often than not the twins pranks end up with some sort of damage and required repair, he thought stocking up was the best idea.

_**'Aknowledged. I'll make the call now. How are you, old friend?'**_

In truth, he'd been overworked as of late. Even a evening drive along the base walls, on the outside, enjoying the sunset, was a pleasant break. _**'Weary. I have taken care of most of the necessary repairs. The rest will have to wait until after my recharge.'**_ He hated leaving things undone, but there wasn't a whole lot he could do about it. Despite Mikaela's insistance of helping him, she was just _too_ small for some jobs.

_**'Understood. Get some rest. Prime out.'**_

With a mental nod and sigh, Ratchet weight his options. He could go back inside to his recharging berth, but that would likely mean having to pass by a lot of people who'd want to chat, not to mention the noise of the wide awake Autobots, and the humans. It was a cool night out, but it barely served to phase him, and it was a lot quieter out here. A quick check of the Worldwide web also told him the weather was due to remain clear all night.

Settling down in a more remote section of the base, Ratchet left his emergency communications on, so that if absolutely necessary, he could be reached. He then turned everything else off, and shut down for the night.

The last thing his visual sensors picked up on was the beautiful clear night, and the blanket of stars that seemed to hang over him.

**(Some Time Later)**

_**'Prime to Ratchet.'**_

Startled out of his recharge, it took a moment for the medibot to recall where he was, and why he was out there. A quick scan of the local time showed he'd been recharging for several hours, and though he could rest a bit longer, he felt a lot better than he had. Cycling his vents a little, he stretched on his axels before transforming into his bipedal form and taking a second to admire the beautious array of sunrise colors.

_**'Optimus Prime to Ratchet. Please respond.'**_ The tone was dry, and almost a hint irritated.

Frowning to himself, Ratchet turned and began his journey back to the base. _**'Ratchet here. What's wrong?'**_ All pleasantries aside, there were very few reasons for Prime's tone, and none of them promised to be rewarding.

_**'We may...have a bit of an issue. Please report to your medical bay as soon as possible.'**_ There was a sigh. _**'Prime out.'**_

Marching in through the large hangar doors, Ratchet slowed his pace as he carefully made his way past several humans, who were scurrying about. He bid a quick hello to several of his fleshy friends, as well as pausing only long enough to check up on a few errant Autobots, whom he'd fixed up the night before.

"Prowl, I thought I told you to rest." He glared darkly at the 'bot, using his scanner to check over the damage to the chief of security's arm. Prowl flinched as the red beam hit him, but didn't say a word as he turned and stalked off. Ratchet would have been insulted, if he hadn't recognized the look of defeat in his eyes.

Stalking off down the halls, when Ratchet made his way to the med bay, he swiped his hand over the controls and stepped inside, once the door was open.

...Only to freeze and look around in confusion.

"This...isn't right." His optics scanned the room, before he uploaded a base scematic and ran over it. _I went the right way._ Which he'd never doubted. As an Autobot, he had a better memory than any human. It was what they'd call 'photographic', meaning once he saw something once, he didn't forget.

So, _why_, when he made all the right turns, turns he'd made dozens of times by this point, had he ended up in Optimus Prime's office, rather than his medical bay?

He scanned the room again, immediately recognizing Optimus' desk and chair, as well as a few pieces of Earth art the government had given him as a gift, seeing as how everyone knew he loved art. Turning around, he left the room and made his way back outside, realizing as he went that he _hadn't_ made any wrong turns. Still, once he was at the entrance, he turned around and went back, carefully watching which way he went this time.

And he studiously ignored the confused gazes of many people, who he'd greeted only moments before on his way by. When he once again ended up at Optimus' office, he briefly wondered if he'd somehow damaged his navigation sub-routines. Then he sighed. Shuttering his optics, Ratchet pinched the bridge of his nose and contacted Optimus.

_**'Ratchet to Optimus. Where are you?'**_

_**'In your med bay.'**_ Was the bemused answer. _**'And yourself?'**_

_**'Your office.'**_

_**'I will meet you there, old friend. I have a feeling I know what's going on.'**_ Was that a hint of humor in his voice?

Cycling his vents, Ratchet moved further into the room. _This doesn't make sense. I know this is where my office was. The room's even the same shape and size._ Then again, most rooms for the Autobots were the same shape and size, so that didn't really make much difference. With a deep frown, Ratchet's optics narrowed. _I'll bet a week's energon the twins are behind this._

It only took a moment for Optimus to arrive, and the larger 'bot looked torn between amusement and being annoyed. When he walked in, he scanned the room quickly and shook his head with an audible sigh. "I should have known." Looking to Ratchet, one optic ridge rose. "The twins seem to have switched our rooms. I believe it's an old Earth prank."

Frowning, Ratchet turned around. "There's nothing funny about this." He wasn't just complaining, either. There really _didn't_ appear to be anything funny about this prank.

Considering no damage was done, however, and it made no difference to them where their rooms were, they decided to leave it be.

They didn't realize until after what the joke was.

Especially when distracted they'd walk to their old office, out of habit, only to find themselves in the wrong place, and have to turn around and go back. Then, once they'd actually become used to the new rooms, the twins decided to sneakily switch things back.

Let's just put it this way, when Ratchet cheerily walked into what he'd become used to as his new office, he was sorely disappointed to find that it was once again Optimus' office, and the leader was found sitting behind his desk, flipping a wrench in the air with a thoroughly bemused expression on his face plates.

"At least this time no one was damaged." Optimus tried to be, well, optimistic.

**CLANK!!**

Ratchet pulled a wrench out of seemingly nowhere, and hit Optimus right between the optics with it, before storming out of the room muttering about evil twins who _had_ to be Decepticons in disguise.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**Note**: Honestly, I didn't find this chapter funny. :S Maybe cute at the end with Optimus getting beaned, but... -Shrugs- I do have better chapters, I promise, I think this one was only a failure because of the specific prank used. :S

**Up Next** : 3 - Ironhide and the Big Balls of Doom

Hope you liked it anyways.

R+R please.

Thank you.

Tenshi


	3. Ironhide Big Balls of Doom

**Disclaimer** : I don't own anything.

**Note** : The prank..._might_ be somewhat original, I'm not sure. I got it from when my quirky uncle tied some big yellow plastic balls to his truck. It was hilarious. Also, in other stories I've read, the twins are lamborghinis, but in the movie, Sideswipe was a 2009 Corvette Stingray Concept, so... I might go back and forth, depending on the chapter. Just a head's up.

**The Pumpkin Guardian** - LOL. That would be annoying.

**Dragonwitch250** - Here you go. :)

**Rubyswordmaster** - Yeah, I think Optimus getting beaned was the funniest part of the last chapter. This one I like a _lot_ better. -grins evilly-

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**(Normal POV)**

All was dark at the Lennox house hold. It was late and night, and everyone was asleep. This included Ironhide, their guardian, who sat in the garage with a truck bed full of tools and other equipment Lennox was transferring to the new Autobot base. It was all held in place with several chains, which meant that it would make transforming impossible for Ironhide.

That was probably why Sunstreaker and Sideswipe had been given nightwatch duties over all of them.

And that was also why Ironhide _would_ have been watching them carefully for the whole night...if he hadn't been so fragging tired.

As it was, there were only two Cybertronians online at the moment, and both were sharing evil grins as they drove as silently up to the house hold as they could. They were speaking, quietly amongst themselves, via their internal private com links, so as to not wake anyone up.

_**'Are you sure this is a good idea?'**_ Sunstreaker took a look at the massive weapons specialist, currently hiding in the form of a black GMC Topkick C4500. He shuddered a little. _**'I don't need him coming online as we do this.'**_

Sideswipe shifted a little in a slight shrug and slowly and silently transformed, before kneeling down. In one hand, he held a small item, and after looking around carefully, he leaned towards Ironhide's aft. _**'For future references, let's avoid pranks that involve Ironhide and afts.'**_ He grimaced a little as he reached under Ironhide's back bumper, looking for the connector where the chain was hitched.

_**'And balls.'**_ Sunstreaker shot out a hint of a snicker and shook a little on his axels, remaining in his Lamborghini form. _**'Just hurry up, Sides.'**_

_**'I'm hurrying, I'm hurrying.'**_ Sideswipe found the connector and leaned down a little to wrap a metal band around it, in along with the chain. He slowly and carefully attached the item, and then pulled back, watching it swing back and forth a little. With a victorious smirk, he pulled back and transformed swiftly into _his_ lamborhiniform, and pealed out of there after his brother as silently as he could.

Upstairs in the Lennox house hold, Will raised an eyebrow, watching a shadow swinging under Ironhide's rear bumper. In the darkness of the night, he couldn't make out what it was, but he relaxed anyways, knowing the twins wouldn't do anything to hurt Ironhide. He was just lucky he'd needed to use the washroom, and managed to catch them.

Headng back to bed, he decided he'd check it out in the morning, when he was more awake and there was light.

When he woke up the next morning, Will's mind was more on th trip than anything else, and he'd actually forgotten about the mysterious actions of the twins the night before. He had his breakfast with his daughter and wife, before kissing them both goodbye and heading outside. It was double checking the chains that he realized what the twins had been up to.

And being a joker at heart, Will just couldn't seem to find it in him to tell Ironhide what was hanging just under his back bumper.

Climbing into the driver's seat, he grinned at the greeting he got and returned it. "Hey, 'Hide. Looking forward to the trip?"

There was a low rumble as Ironhide pulled out and began driving down the road. "I'm not looking forward to whatever the twins were up to last night. It was far too quiet." The frown could be heard in his voice.

_Oh, if only you knew._ Will smirked to himself as he pretended to drive to the base.

By the time they got there, several people had honked at them, or made innuendos involving 'big balls'. Ironhide was confused and had asked Will about it, but the human was too busy laughing to answer. This only served to confuse Ironhide worse, and he put his sensors at full, trying to hear what the humans in the other 'vehicles' were saying, but none of it made any sense.

Finally, he got to the base, and Epps, along with Wheeljack and Hound, came over to help unload him. It took them a few moments, and in that time, the lamborghini twins showed up, laughing their afts off about something. Shooting them a look, Will shook his head and tried not to laugh. As it was, he knew that if Ironhide got the slightest inkling he knew about _that_, there was no way he'd ever live it down.

"And what the frag are you two glitches laughing about?!" Ironhide seethed silently, _knowing_ they'd done something and hating being unable to transform to beat it out of them. With a low rumbling growl, he sat down lower on his axels, only to raise back up when he was informed by a very amused looking Lennox and Epps that they couldn't unload him if he was too low for them to get at the rest of the chains.

Finally, as the rest of the chains were pulled off, Ironhide stretched, remaining for the moment in his alt-mode. As Optimus rolled in, the weapons specialist cycled his vents and began changing.

Something was off, however. As he changed, he became aware of something still attached to him that shouldn't have been. It wasn't alive, luckily, nor did it reek of Decepticon energies, but it was bulky and awkward to avoid as he transformed. And even though he _could_ avoid it, the utter horror of _where _it was located was even worse.

Ironhide soon stood in the middle of the room, a confused frown on his face. The very first thing he became aware of was the heavy laughter echoing from the room, from every human with a good view of him. The second was that, after apparently looking something up, so were many of the Autobots, and the twins were doubled over in laughter.

Perhaps the worst thing of all, was the horrified yet amused look on Optimus' face, as he gazed at his weapons specialist. "Ironhide..." He trailed off as he seemed to be choking on his laughter.

Feeling the same awkward feeling as before, Ironhide's optics trailed down his body armor, to the source, and he let out a very loud, grinding shriek when he saw what it was. Thanks to being around the military men, 'Hide was certain he knew of more perverted jokes than any of the other mechs, but for someone to do _this_ to _him_?!

He roared in outrage, sending most of the humans scrambling for cover as he transformed his arms into cannons and spun towards the twins. Of course, the casual 'clang, clang' that followed suit, only served to send even more people into hysterics, despite the deadly aura about Ironhide.

"Nice...decorations?" Bumblebee's optics were wide when he took in the addition to Ironhide's usual armor, and he squeaked and darted away, when the massive cannons shot in his direction.

"You two pit-slagging, glitching sons-of-Unicron are _dead_!" Ironhide roared, taking a step forward, and trying to ignore the 'clang's each of his steps made. "I'm going to offline you both, and then melt you down into scrap metal!"

"Wow, Ironhide." Sam walked into the room, and it only took him a moment to spot the change. "Nice, uh..." He trailed off, his face beet red, and looked a little horrified. "Never mind."

The twins scurried off, laughing, with Ironhide in town, steady 'clangs' ringing through the air and sending most of the occupants of the room into hysterics. Adorning Ironhide jucture where his legs met his torso was a large pair of bright red, metal balls. They seemed to be hooked on something, between his legs, and Will took a moment to explain what the twins had done.

**BOOM!**

Obviously they weren't going to get off so easily. Optimus cycled his vents and went after them, muttering about them destroying the base if he didn't.

Mikaela, who had walked in during the conversation, began to laugh, even as half the room calmed down. It took several moments before people started to calm, but then, a steady 'clang, clang, clang' could be heard, coming closer to the hangar, and everyone began to chuckle once again.

Ironhide slowly entered the room, his right optic twitching, and his cannons smoking but still activated. Optimus was right behind him, looking for all the world like he was struggling to hide his amusement. He'd even brought his mask out, though his optics seemed to sparkle.

"Ironhide?" Mikaela looked worried, but Sam caught the mischevious glance in her eyes, and Bumblebee must have, too, because he quickly transformed into his Camaro form and stood nearby, engine ready. "Are you ok?"

"I'll be fine once someone gets these useless piles of scrap metal off me. I don't think the twins will be bothering me again, any time soon." The smug look on his face spoke volumes.

A small snort escaped her lips. "Wow. I didn't think you had the balls."

Ironhide's other optic began to twitch.

Looking at her evilly, Sam nodded with a smirk. "Yeah, it sure takes a pair of brass knockers to pull something like that off, with the boss 'bot on your tail."

Optimus let out a sound that surprisingly resembled a metallic snort, and shook his head, shuttering his optics and folding his arms over his chest. Yet he decided to remain silent, even as Ratchet made his way into the hanger, took one look at Ironhide, and almost ran out after the twins, his optics twitching and lips trembling.

A low growl issued from Ironhide's throat and he took a step forward, only to narrow his optics dangerously when the resulting 'clang' almost brought both humans to their knees with laughter.

"On the up side..." Will chuckled. "If there's ever a Decepticon attack, you can use this to your advantage." When all the Autobots looked at him in confusion, he seemed to be trying to hold back his laughter. "Well, think about it. They'll be laughing too hard to do anything but stand there."

Everyone began laughing again, and finally having enough, Ironhide reached down and pulled the decorations off with a faint snap, before tossing them at Will, though making sure not to actually _hit_ him. Half of the men in the base cringed at his actions, almost crossing their legs, before turning and finding reasons to hurry out of the room.

"Well, I guess he doesn't have 'the balls', anymore." Sam muttered, squeaking and grabbing Mikaela's hand, ducking into the Camaro, when Ironhide roared and glared in their direction. The moment they were inside, Bee took off, shaking back and forth from the force of his laughter.

Even Optimus couldn't help it, and began laughing.

One look from Ironhide's face, and despite his laughter, Will knew he was in trouble. He mentally vowed to sleep with one eye open at all times.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Hope you like it -giggles- I did.

R+R please.

Thank you.

Tenshi


	4. Prowl, Cheesy Goodness

**Disclaimer** : I don't own it.

**ChevyChick** - LOL. Sorry. Well, at least it sounds like you liked it. Hmm...Sides, or Sunny? I'm thinking Sunny, but I'm not sure if I can base an entire chapter on Sunny sounding like a femme, and changing him completely would be beyond anything Ratchet would do... Oh, wait, possible idea. I'm not sure how it'll go, but I'll give it a try.

**Serindarkwolf19** - Your wish is my command. Coming up soon, a payback chapter. ;)

**Dragonwitch250** - Glad you like it :)

**BABY BUMBLEE BEE** - Thank you :)

**Rubyswordmaster** - LOL. Well thank you, I'm glad you enjoyed it. LOL It has me laughing, too, just because I can _so_ see it! My uncle actually had those on his truck, which is where I got the idea. It's weird, but at least I was always aware of which truck was his, no matter what.

**Negimasamurai** - LOL. The images?

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**(Normal POV)**

Prowl drove slowly down the halls of the new base, keeping a wary eye out for the tiny humans that seemed to like to run around, getting underfoot at the most inconvenient times. Even after a couple of weeks here, it was still difficult to get used to. He stopped at one split and frowned as he noticed a new sign there, obviously the doing of Bumblebee.

He remembered hearing about it. It was meant as more of a joke than anything, but it had stuck and Optimus decided to have it kept there. About fifteen feet off the ground was a 'Squishy Crossing' sign, diamond shaped and bright yellow in color. Apparently the twins had gotten into this as well, as someone had painted a crossing there as well, also in bright yellow.

Despite the utter uselessness of such a sign, as all Autobots already knew to keep an eye out, Prowl couldn't help but find it slightly amusing. It helped the humans found it funny, as well.

Pausing momentarily, as his programs recognized the cross-walk, Prowl looked around. Seeing two military men walking by, waving at him as they went, he turned down the hall they'd come from and transformed and slowly began to walk. It would be easier in his bipedal form to dodge any stray humans, than in his cruiser form. He ignored their sudden laughter, thinking they had shared one of their many human jokes.

He'd just come out of a peaceful recharge in the infirmary, and called Ratchet over the comms to ask if he could be cleared to return to his duties. Busy Ratchet had approved, and he was on his way back to his office to find out what he might have missed, because of being injured in a Decepticon attack.

"Hello, Prowl." Optimus nodded, as he rounded the corner.

"Sir." Nodding back, he continued on his way to his office. Then he paused when he heard a suspicious sound from behind him. Turning his head, he blinked in confusion to see Optimus looking at him with wide optics, sounding like he was choking back laughter. "Prime?"

Blinking optics gazed at him a moment, before Optimus cycled his vents in clear amusement and shook his head. "I see the twins were at work." When all he got was a confused look, he gestured vaguely to Prowl. "Happy rabbits, with..." His eyes went dim a moment as he seemed to be looking something up. "Marijuana rolls sticking out of their mouths?"

Looking down at himself, Prowl's optics shuttered and he let out a rather strangled groan. His armor seemed to be in normal condition but for two spray painted bunny rabbits with huge grins and what the humans called 'joint's hanging out of their mouths. Their eyes were also bit 'X's, he supposed it was to show they were under narcotic influence.

"I'll talk to them, old friend." Optimus looked more amused than anything. "At least it's not as bad as Ironhide's little 'decorations' yesterday." He chuckled quietly, and as annoyed as Prowl was, he couldn't help but join in.

"I had best see if Ratchet can remove this." Turning on his heel, he bid Optimus farewell and walked off down the hall, in the opposite direction than his office. It only took him a few moments to reach the med bay, and he entered to find Ratchet reading a data pad.

"What?!" Looking up sharply, Ratchet's optics went wide. Then abruptly, he began to chuckle. "The twins got you, I see. Welcome to the team."

Apparently it was a human ritual known as hazing. Most newcomers that came after the twins had to wait, and were hit randomly with a prank, as a sort of 'Welcome to Earth' gag.

Cursing in Cybertronian, Prowl moved over to the bench and sat down. "What can you do to remove the paint?"

"Hold on, I have just the thing." Ratchet disappeared into the next room a moment, and there was a sound of something rifling through stuff before Ratchet came back with a medium sized tub of something that he couldn't identify. Grabbing a clean rag from one of the work tables, Ratched walked over and began to use the ointment on the paint, and in no time it had been removed with no damage to his armor.

"Just be careful, the twins have been driving everyone insane with their pranks."

With a nod, Prowl set off down the halls, back towards his office. On his way, he paused outside of the cafeteria, where he could hear William Lennox speaking to another soldier whom, when he came around the corner, turned out to be Epps. Normally their conversation wouldn't have him pausing, but it sounded like they were having a minor security issue.

"You're sure? You checked everywhere?" William was frowning as Epps nodded. "And it's _all_ gone?! Do you realize how many boxes there were?!" Crossing his arms over his chest, Will scowled and seemed to think a moment. "Ok, we need to regulate a search. There's no way someone made of with hundreds of boxes of-Oh! Prowl." He nodded to the mech. "How's everything?"

Raising an optic ridge, Prowl knelt down to lessen his massive height over the humans. "I am well, though it seems the twins have finally decided to prank me." He shuttered his optics and shook his head. "But that seems to be the lesser problem at the moment. Something his gone missing?"

"Yeah, you could say that." Epps nodded. He looked torn between amusement and worry. "Over three hundred boxes of kraft dinner have gone missing since this morning." He suddenly grinned. "I'd love to know who took them and why, though."

Optics narrowed slightly. "Do you need assistance in finding the culprit?"

Will shook his head. "Nah, we should be able to do it ourselves. There's security cameras all over, so we'll check them first." He shrugged a little, almost indifferently. "And kraft dinner's prety cheap to buy, if we need to replace it."

With a nod, Prowl slowly shook. "As you wish. I will return to my office then." With a nod down to the humans, he turned and walked out of the room, heading down the halls towards his office. His processor was trying to understand _why_ anyone would want to steal 'kraft dinner'. It seemed to be a cheap and easy to make food product. There didn't seem to be any logical reason-

_Warning, system cannot compute._

Shaking his head, Prowl put the thought out of his mind, before he could trip the fault in his logistics routine, that would result in his temporary offlining. As he stopped by his door, he swiped his hand over the panel outside the door. As the door opened, he walked into his room, and paused.

_What's that...?_ There was a scent in the room he couldn't identify. It almost smelled like some of the humans' food. but that didn't make any sense. He was a mech. Mechs didn't eat human food, and humans weren't allowed in his office without his express knowledge and permission, let alone to eat in there without him present. Looking around, he scanned the room. _Where is it coming from?_

There was the sound of something almost...plastic? Rubbery? Stretching?

Pausing a moment, a feeling of dread washed over Prowl, and very slowly he looked up.

Luckily, he shuttered his eyes and mouth, just in time. With a loud snap, several pounds of warm, slimy, yellow pasta rained down on him. For a moment, he was stuck in the middle of the room, with all the noodles around him, but he managed to wade through cheesy noodles up to his knees. _The kraft dinner, I presume._

"Sunstreaker!" Prowl growled loudly, more than aware his entire frame was covered in melted cheese and noodles were getting into all his cracks and crevices. "Sideswipe!" Opening his door, he managed to stumble out of his room. Turning back, he glowered at the ruined office before accessing his internal communications systems. _**'Optimus Prime, I would like permission to offline Sunstreaker and Sideswipe.'**_

He heard his leader chuckling, but what Prime failed to realize was... He wasn't joking.

_**'And what have they done now?'**_

Taking a few moments, Prowl sent Optimus the video feed of what happened, and he grimaced when he heard the leader struggling not to laugh out loud at him. Unfortunately, considering the truly few numbers of their kind left, his request was denied, but he was assured the twins would be punished. Walking passed the cafeteria, he paused when he heard William's voice.

"Holy hell! Wow, I think I know now what happened to the kraft dinner." There was a snort and a suspicious hiccup.

"Yeah, and this explains why Sunstreaker was yelling at Sideswipe in Cybertronian, while trying to clean yellow stuff off his paint job." Sam's voice joined him in amusement. When Prowl looked down, the young Witwicky was smirking. "Let me guess, the whole kraft dinner in the locker prank?"

"Locker?" Prowl googled what he meant, and shook his head. "My office."

There was a chorus of low 'oooooohhhhh's, and a few of the soldiers looked almost worried.

"No need to fear. I'll make sure those glitches won't be able to cause anymore trouble." His optic twitched. "After all, they can't prank if they're offline." _I'm sure Prime will understand if I explain it._ Turning, he stalked off down the hall, calling for Ratchet and Ironhide, knowing that despite their amusement, they'd be more than happy to help him get revenge.

As he went, he grumbled, wiping off noodles and cheese.

Oh yes, they were going to pay.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Hope you like it.

R+R please.

Thank you.

Tenshi


	5. Bumblebee, Mooove Along Now

**Disclaimer** : I don't own it.

**Note** : I only labeled this one as Bumblebee, but it's more or less random and not focused on any Autobot in particular.

**Rubyswordmaster** - I've taken your words to heart. I've been looking for more prank ideas (I have a few more chapters complete already), and actually wrote down the ideas on the list, in case a muse hits me to use them. :) Oh the revenge chapter is...Chapter 8, I believe.

**Negimasamurai**- Oh, uh... Bumblebee? Well behaved...? -Looks over the content of Chapter 9- Urm, not so much in my books. ;)

**Dragonwitch250** - Hm, well, I actually have a revenge chapter, with Ratchet, Ironhide and Prowl. -laughs- Optimus is only slightly involved, though he's an innocent bystander. LOL

**Hummergrey** - I love anything with the major twins, Sideswipe and Sunstreaker. -keeps calling them Sunswipe and Sidestreaker- O.o LOL. -Snickers- Ironhide and his big balls of doom, huh? I loved that! LMAO. Trust me, there are more Prime pranks to come, including one where he turns a prank on him into a prank on Prowl. ;) Who said Optimus Prime doesn't have a sense of humor??

**KittenCeez** - Thank you, I'm glad you like it. :)

**Jovianokamigirl** - They have several more in mind, even worse than the last. LOL.

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**(Sam's POV)**

School was out, and despite the calm tenor in the area, the Autobots had requested my family and I, Mikaela, and the Lennox's come stay at their base for a week. It was more for a chance to let the Autobots relax together, and keep us safe, than anything. It was also a huge chance to have a bit of a party, considering it was the middle of summer.

Still, being on the base had it's downsides, as well as it's upsides. For one, we had to sleep in small, cramped quarters, on hard cots. The Autobots apologized, informing us they had regular sleeping quarters being built for us as we spoke, but it was still a pain. Then there was the early to bed rule, considering we were staying on a _military base_. And finally, the worse part... The early to _rise_ rule.

It was only six am!

I didn't have a window in my room, but I was pretty darn certain the sun wasn't even up!

Major William Lennox had been the one to wake me up this morning, unusually cheerful as he greeted me and departed to wake the others. Despite the fact that I wanted him to fall face first off the nearest cliff, and into the hands of the most torturous Decepticons at that very moment, I still felt the need to warn him as I saw him heading to the room my parents were staying in.

"Careful!" I called, rubbing my eyes and trying to stifle a yawn. When he looked back at me curiously, I shrugged. "My mom has a tendency to throw things."

He frowned in confusion for a moment before shaking his head with a smirk. "I'm a big boy, I think I can handle a pillow to the face." He shot back, hitting the buzzer on the door just a few feet down the hall from me.

_Who said anything about 'pillows'?_ I thought, biting back a smirk, as I crossed my arms over my chest and leaned against the door frame, watching him. _Oh yeah, I have a feeling this is gonna be good._

When he got no answer he sighed, and keyed in the code to open the door. "I _so_ hope your parents are sleeping." The look on his face spoke volumes of what exactly he was thinking.

"Oh, _ew_! Bad thoughts!" I shuddered, and I think I made a pretty disgusting face, because just as the door opened, Will began to laugh, _loudly_. Then he turned to the room, and took a deep breath. "_Time to rise and shine, everyone!_" He called loudly.

All of a sudden, something came flying out of the room, and caught him right in the head. He cried out in pain and surprise, and I watched an alarm clock fall to the floor. Luckily, there didn't seem to be any damage, and I'm referring to Will's head, not the alarm clock.

"Wow." I paused for a moment, before _I_ began to laugh. "She really _clocked_ you, didn't she?" Shaking my head, I tried to muffle my laughter, even as my mother's horrified voice carried out of the room, calling apologies to Will.

"She actually put you on _time out_!" My father called, laughing his ass off. Then there was the sound of flesh slapping flesh. Hard. "Ow!"

Will laughed but there was a look about his eyes, and when he took a step in my direction, I ducked back into my room, and changed out of my pajamas, into some jeans and a t-shirt. I knew he wouldn't actually _hurt_ me, but I wasn't quite awake enough for a noogie, or massive wedgie or anything, either. By the time I was done changing, he was long gone, and I could hear my parents moving around in their room.

Shuffling off down the halls, I yawned again, waving to a few familiar faces I saw as I went. Some of them looked...funny, like they didn't know whether to laugh or freak out, but none of them said anything. It made me pause by a door with a window on it, and I checked my reflection to see if it was me they were so weird about. Everything _seemed_ normal enough.

Shaking my head, I groaned a little and headed around a corner.

Only to freeze.

"What...the..._hell_?!" I stared in shock at the sight before me.

A single cow stood in the center of the hallway, looking around as if in confusion. There was a small bundle of hay in front of it, and behind it... Let's just say there was evidence it had been there a while. When it turned around slowly, to head down the hall in the other direction, I got a good look at the number on the side.

'4'

My eyes widened, and I slapped my hand over my mouth as I realized what was going on. "Oh, dear God!" My voice was muffled, I know, but watching as Mikaela walked around the corner with a broad grin, offering the cow a wide-eyed stare, I couldn't help but laugh.

"The old cow prank?" Obviously she knew it, too. A huge smirk crossed her face. "Wheeljack was already questioning why the Autobots had been alerted to not only watch out for humans, but bovine, too."

"Do they know....?" I trailed off as we walked through the halls, carefully avoiding the clumps of hay and piles of manure. Passing a cow with a '1' on it's side, I grinned and raised an eyebrow at my girlfriend, as I took her hand and we carefully made our way around the confused cow.

Mikaela hiccupped a laugh. "Optimus thought we were planning on having a barbeque, and asked who was planning on slaughtering them. Needless to say, Epps turned a little green." She winced. "Then again, _I_ would, too. Ew."

Nodding, we rounded another corner and raised our eyebrows as Bumblebee came walking our way, with cow number '2' held delicately in one hand, and a big brown splatter across his chest armor.

The smell told us all we needed to know.

He steadfastly ignored our howling laughter as he walked past us briskly, turning around the corner we'd just come from. "Ah, ha!" His newly repaired voice carried down the hall. "There you are! Ironhide, I've located bovine number '2'. Let me know if you spot number '3'. Ratchet already has '4' with him. Bumblebee out."

There was a rather high pitched '_Moo!_', a slick 'Splat', and a metallic groan.

Turning to Mikaela, I covered my mouth even as we both broke out into fresh peals of laughter. We rushed off down the hall and into the breaksfast room before anyone could say anything further. Breakfast was chaos. Soldiers were laughing, and rumor had it Sunny and Sides were behind the cows being set lose. We were more or less ordered to remain where ever we were, until cow number '3' was located, and despite our situation, we couldn't help but laugh harder.

Then Optimus came strolling into the room, looking honestly annoyed. "Has anyone seen Sunstreaker and Sideswipe?"

Mikaela raised an eyebrow. "You don't honestly expect them to stick around, do you? They probably took to the hills...after making their _mooo_ve." She began laughing at the confused look on Optimus' face, her entire body shaking.

Even other soldiers began to laugh.

"It _was_ a rather clever _mooo_ve." I added in, snickering as Optimus regarded us in clear confusion, and maybe a hint of worry. "But now I have this nagging thirst for milk. Join me?" I bit my lip, even as several people almost doubled over with laughter.

"Milk." Mikaela nodded, giggling away. "It does a body good."

Three soldiers in the back suddenly exchanged looks, a whisper, and stood up straight. "Drink milk, love life-" They all keeled over laughing before they could even finish singing.

"Is everyone alright?" Optimus crouched down.

"We're great!" Mikaela was wiping tears off her face. "Tell me you're not still looking for cow number '3'." When Optmus sighed and shook his head with a muttered Cybertronian curse, or so I guessed, she gasped, and covered her mouth. "You...haven't figured...out the...?" Looking to me, I could see her trying not to laugh at poor Optimus' naivety.

"Optimus, there _is no_ cow number '3'."

"_Udder_ly ridiculous, I know." Mikaela's expression was serious. For about two point four seconds. Then she cracked up giggling, again.

"I do not understand. Does '3' not come after '2' but before '4'? We found three cows-"

I raised a hand, effectively silencing the big leader. A year ago, I might have been worried about offending him with that, but we knew each other well enough by now to know not to take it personally. "There _'is no'_ number '3'." I repeated, looking into Optimus' large, electric blue optics. "Google 'cows'-" I nudged Mikaela with a look, when she snorted at an obviously perverted thought. "And 'pranks'."

His optics dimmed a moment.

"You know what?" Mikaela looked at me a moment. "If the twins ever go cow-tipping, I'm _so_ there!"

I laughed, and so did she. Many of the soldiers agreed with her, that watching giant alien robots going cow-tipping would be hilarious. Epps, even made a note to bring it up with the twins, later, after they got out of whatever punishment Optimus was _sure_ to have in store.

His optics onlined again, and Optimus let out a very human-like groan. "We've been searching the entire base, for a cow that does not exist?"

"Unless it's Bessy, the friendly ghost-cow." I heard Mikaela mutter under her breath, and my breath hitched as I tried not to laugh. "Yes, Optimus." She smiled, amusement dancing in her eyes. "I think you can call off the troops now, no more worry about getting trampled."

He nodded before shaking his head and standing up. He was silent a moment before he looked down at us. "You may all resume your normal daily activities now." With a nod in departure, he turned and left the room, no doubt to track down the twin terrors and give them trouble.

Turning to Mikaela, I smirked. "Good _mooo_ve."

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**Note** : I keep forgetting to put the next title's chapter in...

Chapter 6 - Prowl, You've Got Mail.

Hope you like it

R+R Please

Thank you

Tenshi


	6. Prowl, You've Got Mail

**Disclaimer** : I don't own it.

**Note** : Ok, so I got a couple of reviews telling me people didn't understand the last prank. First of all, you want to google high school pranks in general. You'll find a lot of my ideas there. That, or Just For Laughs Gags. This one was inspired by Just for Laughs.

The cow prank is actually done with chickens, I believe. Chickens or sheep. You take 3 chickens/sheep and number them 1, 2, and 4. Then the pranksters sit back and watch the victims go nuts trying to find non-existent chicken/sheep number 3. It's supposed to be mean/funny, because think of it this way. What would you do if you were sure there was another chicken/sheep out there, and spent hours trying to find it, only to find nothing? And then look at it from the POV of the pranksters, who are sitting back, watching people get irritated/pissed off because they're looking for an animal that doesn't exist.

I'm not sure if that helped. I can see it, but it's hard to explain.

**Elita One** - Oh, they're not in trouble yet. But trust me, revenge is coming. And the chicken/sheep prank, from what I got, was fairly popular in some places. It's the first I heard of it, though, when I googled it.

**Jovianokamigirl** - Google high school pranks. It's one of the sites on the first page, where it lists numerous high school pranks. It should be mentioned 3 or 4 times, I believe.

**LovelyIAmNot** - Thank you, I'm glad you enjoy them :)

**Wolf Mystic** - LOL. Glad you liked them. :)

**Captain Arianna Trouble** - Can you see an Autobot trying to pick up a sheep or a chicken? LOL. I figured, cows = bigger, which = better. LOL. Awww, don't you like cows?? Especially when they're being chased down by an irate Ironhide??

**Dragonwitch250** - Oh, I know. It's funny to play on that.

**Blood Shifter2** - Glad you had a couple good giggle fits. :)

**D. Huynh** - LOL I was ready to start laughing at their puns. Annoying to some, but I could just see the clueless look Optimus gives them as he mentally wonders if _their_ logistics routines have faults. And yes, poor, poor Bumblebee. At least he's got Sam and Mikaela to bathe him later. Hmm... I wonder if I should be saying poor Sam and Mikaela instead.

**BABY BUMBLEE BEE** - Thank you :)

**Rubyswordmaster** - LOL, so you know the prank? Yeah, I was thinking of an animal stuck on the roof or something. That's...a possibility. Can you just see Optimus' face when they were punning? LOL.

**Negimasamurai** - LOL.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**(Sam's POV)**

_How did I get myself into this, again?_

I sighed as I squatted down, trying to ignore the way my legs were burning. It was hot, dark, and crampy in here, but flipping back the small opening in the box, I saw Mikaela's sweet smile and sighed, sitting back down again, and waiting.

_Oh, yeah. 'Cause I can't say no to her._

Mikaela was standing against the edge of the corner, talking with Sideswipe's human holoform, a young man with messy dirty blonde hair, and piercing blue eyes. They were trying to play it innocent, but I could hear the occasional snicker escaping them, randomly.

"Oh, hey Epps." Mikaela's voice called out.

Taking my cue, I carefully shifted my weight and got my balance, preparing myself. I heard footsteps approaching, and braced my arms against the walls of my little 'prison'. I could hear Sideswipe asking if he was mailing mail, which obviously the soldier was. Just as the the only opening in the box opend, I darted backwards and began running to my left.

A startled yelp, as well as loud laughter, caught my ears, and I ran.

"Sam! Look out for the-"

**BAM!**

Ow.

I stood there, my face pressed against the thin metal wall of the box I was hiding inside. A dull ache ran up my skull, and I could make out several people laughing. Then, I slowly fell over backwards, my legs flying out from the bottom of the box, and kicking a little before I lay there unmoving, trying to clear my fuzzy mind.

The laughter increased ten fold, and I thought I heard someone fall over, but with the metallic ringing in my ears, I wasn't sure.

By the time I managed to clear my head, I felt several sets of arms tugging at me, and helping me to my feet, even though the 'mailbox' came with me. I could hear Mikaela struggling to explain to Epps what was going on, despite the fact that Sideswipe was almost crying he was laughing so hard.

"Oh, man! That was classic!" Epps was laughing his ass off. "I mean, it looked like the mailbox ran smack into the wall! I wish I'd had my camera!"

"It _felt_ like the mailbox ran face first into the wall, too." I muttered, causing everyone to crack up even worse. I allowed them to help me back to my spot, and Mikaela even ducked under the mailbox costume to give me a quick kiss and check my face for damage.

"Just don't forget about the wall, this time." She murmured, kissing me lightly before giggling and ducking back out of the box.

Like I could. The bruise forming on my forehead wouldn't let me.

I sighed and crouched back down, more than aware that I was still being heavily watched. Several moments, and quiet a few screams later, I was nursing one hell of a headache, and feeling pretty damn lucky Will didn't shoot me when he thought I was an out of control mech. Then things seemed to slow down for a while. Sideswipe allowed me out of my prison for about a half an hour, where I sat against the wall for a bit, resting my legs.

Then it was time to return to the prank, and I once again found myself wondering how I let myself get talked into this. I climbed back into my costume and sighed. It was silent for several more moments, before I heard the sound of heavy footsteps and felt the ground shaking.

"Perfect, it's an Autobot!" I groaned loud enough for them to hear.

"Oh, crap! Prowl!" Mikaela hissed quietly.

I felt my eyes widen, even as Sides began to laugh heartily. "Keep up with the plan!" He hissed to me, snickers breaking through.

Hesitation hit me hard. What if Prowl thought I was a Decepticon and attacked me? Shaking a little, I crouched down and prepared myself. Even with my doubts screaming for me to run like hell, the prankster in me desperately wanted to see how an Autobot would react to the prank. Just...as long as I didn't get shot at, in the process.

_Why am I doing this??_

"Hello Mikaela, Sideswipe." Prowl's tone was pleasant when saying Mikaela's name, and wary, almost suspicious when saying Sideswipe's. "What are you two up to?" the footsteps paused briefly.

_Just get up and walk away._ I blinked as an image of a mailbox getting up and walking away hit me hard, and I bit my lip to keep from laughing. It was even worse than if I'd gotten up and ran off. I debated on whether or not to walk or run when the prank was initiated. Then I mentally slapped myself. _I should just stop this._

"Nothing." I could hear the sweet smile in Mikaela's voice. It was amazing how the voice alone was my undoing. "Did you have mail to send off?" She sounded honestly curious, and it took everything I had not to look. I mean, Autobots had _mail_? I thought everything was automated with them, or done electronically.

"Yes." There was a single footstep, and a single metal digit slid into the opening, pulling it down. As I saw the tip of the envelope, I mentally cursed what I was about to do, before turning and taking off down the hall at my fastest speed. I tried to remember exactly how far the wall, but a sound distracted me.

"Prowl!"

"Decepticon!"

_Aw, crap!_ Forgetting about the wall, I sped up, standing at my full height and running for all I was worth. Loud laughter rang in my ears, and I heard Mikaela screaming that it wasn't a Decepticon. I managed to remember last second about the wall, and took a sharp turn.

"Sam!"

Oh, God, what now??

**CRASH!**

_Ow!_

"What the frag?!"

I stumbled back, tripping over my own two feet and falling over onto my back. Shaking my head a little, I blinked to clear my vision before looking down. _Huh, well, at least this time I didn't run into a wall._ I thought, seeing the large yellow foot. Considering the language, I also knew it wasn't Bumblebee. That meant it was one of two Mechs, and for the sake of my skin, I hoped it was Ratchet, considering there was a nasy looking scratch across the paint of the metallic ankle.

"Sam! Are you ok?"

Considering I was alive, yeah I could honestly say I was ok. My head was pounding, but I wasn't being stomped into a sticky pile of mush, so I figured I was fairly safe.

"Frag, incoming!"

I ducked the best I could, considering I was already on the ground, and kind of stuck where I was.

**CLANK!!**

I blinked and slowly slid down, worming my way out of the mailbox costume I was in. Once I was out, I noticed Mikaela was standing halfway down the hall, staring in horror back the way she'd come. Then I noticed Sideswipe literally rolling around on the ground, laughing hysterically.

The next thing I noticed was Ratchet swearing colorfully, and making his way to a currently offlined Prowl, who was lying face down on the ground.

"What happened?!" I slowly stood up, massaging a kink in my neck, and trying to watch the bruise I could feel forming around my nose. "Ratchet??"

"What's wrong with him?!" Mikaela's eyes were wide with horror.

"His logistic routines have an error." Ratchet almost growled, glaring at Sideswipe's human holoform. "And _you_ are going to get your real body, come back and help me carry him to the med bay, or so help me I'll stick you with inventory watch for the next two Earth years!"

Sideswipe smirked as he looked up at Ratchet, but seeing the serious look on his face, the smirk faded, and he sighed befor vanishing into thin air. Then Ratchet turned to us. He took a single look at my 'costume' and then sighed. "I can only imagine what went through Prowl's processors when he saw a _mailbox_ get up and run away." His tone was dry. "Especially when he saw it had human legs."

I blinked. "You mean the prank set him off??" I shared a horrified look with Mikaela. "_Pranks_ can set him off?!"

The medic nodded and sighed. "I assume the twins never told you?" When I shook my head, and Mikaela followed the gesture with a guilty look, he nodded. "Well, thankfully it's not dangerous. He suffers no lasting damage, and he'll awaken soon. I'll still have to report this to Prime, though, as I'm sure he'll find out through..." Ratchet paused and seemed to search something up on the internet.

"The grapevine?"

He looked to Mikaela before nodding. "Yes, and you'd best both be with me, so he can hear your versions." Standing, he walked over and lifted the light metal costume with two fingers. Then he smirked. "I admit, I can see the humor in this." He hit a button on the side of his helm, and a holographic image appeared.

It looked like a still shot of a mailbox in mid run, with embarrassingly skinning male, human legs. Then it began to move. It ran down teh hall surprisingly quickly, and seemed to swerve only moments before hitting the wall, only to run smack dab into a large metallic leg, and fall over backwards, the legs kicking a moment before lying still.

I couldn't help it. Despite the seriousness of the situation, I couldn't help but laugh. I even heard Mikaela joining me.

We both stopped laughing, however, as a pair of heavy footsteps hurried down the hall, and Sideswipe soon showed up, looking bummed. He helped Ratchet lift the fallen Autobot, and the two of them disappeared down the hall.

Once he was out of sight, Mikaela and I exchanged a look and busted up laughing again.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**Coming up Next** :

Optimus Prime, Ratchet and Prowl star in... Chapter 7 - The Upside Down Sky is Falling. (Weird title, I know, LOL)

Hope you like it.

R+R please.

Thank you.

Tenshi


	7. OP and Prowl, The Sky is Falling

**Disclaimer** : I don't own it.

**Note** : Ok, so the title was probably misleading, but I hope you like it, anyways.

**Wolf Mystic** - I can just imagine the large mail box with legs running into Ratchet's leg. LOL!

**Kali yugah** - I'm sorry. I wouldn't know how to make a video, or if I even have the necessary programs. I would be honored if someone else wanted to make it, however. I really wish I could make a youtube vid, that would be freaking awesome! LOL.

**Darklight8121** - Oh? I've never actually seen it. Huh, I didn't even think of that. LOL. I'd love to see Ironhide chasing down a squealing pig with his cannons out. LOL! And lmao! Maybe it was 'Express' or 'Air mail'? I can just see Prowl's expression, too.

**Rubyswordmaster** - LOL, I know. Can you just imagine what Prowl was seeing? A lifeless metal mailbox taking off with human legs, that seemed to appear out of nowhere? Sunny... I'm working on a chapter dealing with that, which was also a suggestion from a reviewer (although they'd suggested Sides).

**Dragonwitch250** - LOL! Hm... I don't think they would, because they don't necessarily need to breathe, I think. Now, maybe if their dose of energon was tampered with, or something, but it would have to be a super strong, concentrated version of some sort of liquid laughing gas...

**Jovianokamigirl** - Well, it was more him trying to figure out the mailbox, which should have been lifeless, suddenly growing a pair of human legs and running off. Especially when Mikaela and the others assured him it wasn't a 'Con, and he could tell it wasn't an Autobot... That confusion, combined with the sudden shock, was what I imagined could cause him to go offline like that.

**Elita One** - LOL. I wouldn't mind tripping into my boss, if he was good-looking (and hopefully single). :P No, I can imagine. We have deadly streets with corners like that, here. Gotta love Just For Laughs, though, for being my motivator in some of these pranks.

**KittenCeez** - I know, and the things he offlines at... LOL

**Note** : Last update for the week because where I'm going, I don't have a good, solid internet connection. See you guys next week (I hope), and I hope you like this. :)

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**(Normal POV)**

"How have things been settling since the last attack?" Ratchet watched as Optimus cycled his vents. "Not good, I take it."

"Everyone has been on edge as of late, and the pranks haven't been helping things." Raising an optic ridge, Optimus turned down a hall, pausing as a couple of humans darted past, calling out a brief greeting. "Just last week Mikaela threatened to weld their afts together as they recharged, for painting Jazz bright pink, and gluing fuzzy boas to his fenders."

Ever since Mikaela helped Ratchet to repair Jazz after the Mission City battle, he'd insisted on becoming her guardian in repayment. For the most part they made an excellent team, except for the times tiny Mikaela seemed to act as guardian to Jazz, instead. Then again, most Autobots knew better than to get on the bad side of the fiesty human femme, who knew more about Autobot physiology than most Autobots. Especially when she carried around a blow torch or wrench.

Ratchet coughed suspiciously, though his optics danced with amusement. "Yes, I recall needing to remove the fuzzy boas, and having the twins assist me with the repainting." His optics darkened. "And waking up the next morning a dull grey color."

Jazz had returned to his normal glossy silver, but Ratchet had been painted a dull drab grey during his recharge.

It was Optimus' turn to suppress a laughter, lest he get _another_ wrench upside the head. Perhaps a single downside to their new home was the nearly endless gags and pranks the Lamborghini twins could look up on the Worldwide Web.

"Maybe we should put into effect one of those...." Ratchet's eyes dimmed. "Parental controls on the internet, so they can't get anymore ideas."

Shaking his head, Optimus paused at another crossing, allowing more soldiers to walk by. "And if I know Sunstreaker and Sideswipe, they've already downloaded every prank they could find, and have already drawn up plans for each and every one of them." His tone was dry, and he waved to Mikaela and Sam as they followed Captain William Lennox down the hall.

The poor humans were more often than not caught in the attacks, and forced to undergo many interviews after.

"Oh, _Primus_!"

Optimus laughed a little as they finally reached the door to his office, and he swiped his hand over the controls. "Anyway, I have the data pad in here. I'd like you to take a look at some of the equipment requests the other Autobots have put in." He walked into his office and froze. "What the...??"

"I should have expected as much." Ratchet's optics shuttered and he slapped a hand over his forehead.

The room was bare, but for a few things off Optimus' desk, which were standing upright on the floor. Looking around, neither 'bot could see any sign of Optimus' desk or chair, or the gigantic filing cabinet the humans had only recently brought in for the massive leader.

Tapping his helmet, Optimus' optics narrowed. _**'Sunstreaker, Sideswipe, where are my things?'**_ His tone broked no room for games as he walked further into the room. Something about it didn't seem right, but he couldn't quite place what it was.

_**'Yo boss 'bot.'**_ Sideswipe was the first to answer, sounding al too cheery. _**'What'cha talking about? We didn't touch anything.'**_

Barely suppressing a growl, Optimus raised an optic ridge at Ratchet, who looked torn between laughing or being pissed. _**'Where did you put my desk and chair?'**_

_**'We swear to you, we didn't take anything from your office!'**_ This time it was Sunstreaker, who sounded surprisingly innocent.

_If they didn't take anything from my office..._ Optimus watched as Ratchet rolled his optics, only they seemed to get stuck pointing towards the ceiling. He was about to check to see if the medibot was alright when a strange metallic grinding sounded. "Ratchet?" The massive leader turned off his internal communications network.

"Well, at least we know they were being honest." Ratchet's optics were still glued to the ceiling. His voice was strained and it sounded like he was trying to mask the tone, but Optimus could still pick up on the amusement in it.

Frowning, Optimus looked up.

Then he did a double take.

"Primus help us all." He groaned, slapping his hand over his optics. "And what do I do about this?"

Ratchet snickered a moment. "You could sit behind your desk, call the twins to your office and deal out punishment." The large shoulders of the massive 'bot were shaking horribly.

The idea actually amused Optimus, as he could picture it, too.

His desk and chair had apparently been moved to the ceiling, where they seemed to have been screwed in. The furniture, as well as the walls, had been reinforced with bits of Cybertronian metal harvested from the debris field left behind, after their planet had been destroyed. If he wanted to, he really _could_ sit behind his desk, and act like nothing was wrong.

Then, getting a particularly nasty idea, Optimus' optics narrowed a little as he walked over. He turned himself to just the right angle, then with a firm grip on the desk, flipped upside down and placed himself behind his desk, sitting in the chair. He wrapped his legs around the legs of the chair to keep himself in position, and then proceeded to open a drawer, catching the data pad before it could hit the floor.

Ratchet stared in bewilderment, trying not to laugh at the utterly absurd image before him. Then Prime did the unthinkable.

Tapping his helmet, he smirked at Ratchet. "Stay nearby." He advised. "Optimus to Prowl."

Blue optics opened wide, and Ratchet covered his mouth. His primary coding of 'do no harm' was screaming at him to interfere, but he could see far too many amusing points to allowing his leader to continue with the plan. The first being, Prowl's obvious reaction, then his punishment when he got over it. _Huh, who said Optimus Prime didn't have a sense of humor?_

"Please come to my office right away. I have a matter to discuss with you. Prime out." He acted like sitting upside down was no big deal with him, as he seemed to look through whatever was on he data pad.

Meanwhile, Ratchet was pacing a little, nervously, still torn between ending the prank before it could begin, or letting it happen.

The choice was made for him when there was a buzz at the door, and both Wheeljack and Prowl walked in, Wheeljack carrying Epps on his shoulder.

They froze upon entering the room, looking around a moment. When they caught sight of Ratchet in the room, appearing to be the _only_ one in the room, they frowned in confusion. Then Ratchet pointed right at Prime, they both looked, and their jaws dropped.

Wheeljack began laughing hard, clutching his sides from the force, and trying to breathe. He took in his upside down leader, sitting casually at his desk, and literally doubled over laughing, causing Epps to scoot back to avoid falling off. "The...twins...?" Epps looked a little stunned for a moment, then he began to laugh so hard, Wheeljack had to hold on to him to keep him from taking a nose dive to the ground.

Ratchet joined in their laughter, and nodded.

"I was hoping Prowl could think up a suitable punishment for this." Optimus _somehow_ kept his face straight, even though he was staring at Prowl, who's head was smoking. "Prowl?" He made to move, but his hold slipped on the chair, and the next thing everyone knew, the entire base was shaking as Optimus landed on his face.

"Oh my God! The sky's falling! The sky's falling!" Epps screamed, laughing even harder, but _somehow_ managing to look worried at the same time. Obviously he was joking, even as he made a general reference to Chicken Little.

Wheeljack frowned in confusion, and wiped energon tears from his optics. "No, that was just Optimus."

Everyone began to laugh again.

Suddenly, there was a loud pop, and fizzle, and Prowl jerked before falling over backwards.

Everyone's laughter grew in hysteria, even as Optimus slowly got up, holding his forehead and rubbing his nose. When he saw everyone, he couldn't help but join in, even as Ratchet shot him a dark look and smacked Prowl on the back of his head, _after_ tinkering with something in his helmet, of course.

With another jerk, Prowl's optics lit back up and he slowly got to his feet, shaking his head. "Glitching twins." He muttered, rubbing his head and taking in Optimus, who was standing before him, looking amused.

Bending down, Optimus grabbed the data pad that had been sitting on the floor, and with a chuckle, handed it to Ratchet.

"This is what you wanted me to see?" Ratchet access the information, and his optics widened. "Optimus!" The tone of his voice had everyone staring at him in shock. The medibot sounded both scandalized, and horrified. "What's the meaning of this?!"

Taking back the data pad, Optimus took one look at what was on it, and his jaw dropped. "_Primus_! This was _not_ my doing!" He insisted, his cooling jets turning on in a hurry, as he did the Autobot version of blushing, and practically tossed the pad at Prowl. "You might want to add this to the list of offences for the twins." The massive leader stepped back.

Wheeljack looked over Prowl's shoulder, and just managed to snatch up the pad before there was another loud pop, and the security officer collapsed again. "Huh. How'd they manage to sneak out Cybertronian porn?" The scientist murmured to himself. "And I only came along because I wanted to ask permission to go for a drive. This is _so_ much better!"

No one seemed to notice the decidedly green, _horrified_ look on Epps' face, as he saw first hand what was on the data pad.

_Well, I think I just learned everything I _didn't_ wanna know about Cybertronian mating rituals._ He thought, trying to look away. "Oh my God, my _eyes_!"

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**Coming Up Next** :

Prowl, Ratchet and Ironhide star in... Chapter 8 - Revenge of the Fallen.

Hope you like it.

R+R please.

Thank you.

Tenshi


	8. Revenge of the Fallen

**Disclaimer** : I don't own it. I don't own TF, or the title 'Revenge of the Fallen'.

**Clifjumpersfangirl** - Thank you :) I'm glad you like it :)

**Captain Arianna Trouble** - I know. Who said Optimus Prime doesn't have a sense of humor? LOL Well, considering I work on a sheep farm, surrounded by cattle farms, I see a lot myself. LOL

**Darklight8121** - What can I say? Legs has got the legs ;) Hm, those are ideas, we shall see. We shall see. LOL. And I know, that _voice_! Hm, true, ratchet _wasn't_ doing any harm. He will be in this chapter, a little.

**Wolf Mystic** - Thank you :)

**Negimasamurai** - If Ironhide found out, the porn would go missing _then_ he'd permanently offline the twins. And if Bumblebee found it, he'd probably follow Ratchet around, asking all kinds of questions (then again, I have adorable virgin Bee in mind :P)

**KittenCreez** - LOL, Thank you :) Yes, I had to add a little clumbsiness on it.

**Rubyswordmaster** - It's the twin who'll be getting the furniture down, so I'll leave it up to them. LOL. Yep, the Revenge chapter is coming up. It probably won't be _so_ funny, but I think it's cute.

**Jovianokamigirl** - Yeah, I love that glitch in his systems.

**Elita One** - I'd kill them for painting Jazz pink, _after_ laughing my ass off about it. LOL! Actually, no, I'd paint Sunstreaker puke yellow and Sideswipe a neon green, or something, and watch them freak!

**Hummergrey** - LOL, I love Optimus with a sense of humor.

**Note** : Ack! I had an idea for a prank, but told myself I'd wait until I got home to type it up, and... Well, I forgot it. -.-' BUT! I do still have about 4 or 5 chapters done, and I'm always looking for more chapter ideas if anyone has any! :) Thank you all for the amazing reviews, and I'm really glad you like the story so far :)

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**(Normal POV)**

Three sets of glowing reddish optics shone in the almost black hallways, as three mechs stood by a large door. A large yellow mech held a welding tool, a black and white mech held a tiny human-sized card of some sort, and a large black, hulking mech held some sort of cannon in his grip. All three wore the absolutely most frightening grins on their face plates, along with the most evil expressions.

"Stun cannon." The yellow mech spoke quietly.

The large black mech nodded. "Check."

"Security clearance."

The black and white mech nodded, his own grin widening. "Check."

"And welder. Check."

The three mechs broke out into low, evil laughter, before stepping out from under the glow of the 'Exit' sign above the massive door behind them. In the almost non-existent light of the hall, we can make out that they were all around twenty feet tall, all had smilar insignias on them in various places, and they all actually had startlingly blue optics.

"Mission: 'Revenge of the Fallen' under way. Autobots, let's move out." Ratchet took the lead, sneaking down the halls and easily bypassing the guards, who simply waved at their allies and kept on their way.

Ironhide, being more of a blowhard, decided to jump and roll across the ground in a military maneuver, causing the other mechs and humans to stare at him in confusion. "What?" He hissed, his cooling jets coming online momentarily. Getting up, he snuck after Ratchet, barely managing to duck the wrench swung in his direction. "Focus. The mission." He hissed, taking refuge behind Prowl.

Shaking his head, Prowl rolled his optics and gestured for Ratchet to continue on, following closely behind them.

It took them a few moments to make it to their destination, where Prowl slid the card through a slot, and the door slid open silently. There, inside the room, two mechs recharged on joined berths, their optics offline, and their chests rising and falling slowly.

"Funny how the glitches actually look innocent when they're asleep." Ironhide folded his massive arms over his chest, the cannon hanging limply at his side, which was padded to keep there from being any noise, if the cannon fell against his hip. "Cameras are offline?"

Prowl nodded.

Ratchet snickered. "Payback's a..." His optics dimmed as he seemed to be looking for the rest of the statement. "Female canine."

"'Bitch', Ratchet." Ironhide cycled his vents quietly, having heard the term on more than one occasion, being around the humans all the time. "Payback's a 'bitch'." Raising the cannon, he raised an optic ridge at Ratchet, who watched the two mechs closely a moment before nodding with that evil look.

Before anyone could blink, Ironhide shot both mechs with the stun cannon, keeping them offlined for a short while. Once that was out of the way, he slung it back over his shoulder and turned to his cohorts.

"Let's get to work." ratchet bent down an grabbed the legs of the one mech, gesturing for Prowl to help him turn him on his side, Then he repeated the gesture with the other, turning _him_ on his other side, so their backs were facing. Then, grabbing the welder, he leaned in close.

**(Later)**

It was about mid morning at the base, and Lennox was leading Ironhide down the hall, past several sets of personal quarters. He had been talking about the new training room and gun range, when a loud bang and arguing voices from one of the rooms caught his attention.

Or rather, it was Ironhide's surprising reaction of halting, choking suspiciously on what might have been laughter, and then picking him up and walking off quickly.

"'Hide?"

"So the new range should be open tomorrow?" Ironhide tried to sound serious, but the huge grin across his features ruined the effect.

Then the door to the personal quarters of the twins slid open, and Sunstreaker stumbled out.

"Not _your_ right, slagger! _My_ right!" Sunstreaker was glaring down the hall, but spotting Lennox and Ironhide, his already narrowed optics narrowed even further. "_You!_ Did you have anything to do with this??" He stumbled out of the room.

Watching Sideswipe stumble out backwards, practically attached to Sunstreaker, Will frowned. The twins were unsual, granted, but not _this_ unusual.

"Quit pulling!" Sides was yelling, trying to take a step away.

"_You_ quit pulling!" Sunny argued, pulling back.

Will's eyes went wide when he saw what they were arguing about. The twins appeared to be _welded together at the aft._ He felt his eyes widen, watching as the Lamborghinis struggled to pull themselves apart.

"My right, _my_ right!" Sunny yelled, taking a step forward and almost pitching over sideways when Sides leaned the opposite direction. "Are you daft?!"

"If you'd quit pulling!" Sideswipe paused a moment before moving his leg.

At the same time, Sunny decided to be nice, and attempted to take a step back with the same leg, causing them to bang into each other, and both twins to begin growling angrily at each other.

"Why didn't you wake up and stop them??"

"Why didn't _you_ wake up?!" Sides glared at Sunny, who was glaring right back. "You'd think a _welder_ to the _aft_ would wake you up!"

"And what, you're Sleeping Beauty with the numb aft?" Sunstreaker clocked his brother on the head. "I'll keep that in mind!"

They both continued shouting, but as they went on, the words turned into clicks and whirls, which was their native language, and the physical violence seemed to escalate.

Suddenly, Will Lennox realized the, err, 'bot holding him had begun shaking, and looked up to find Ironhide laughing silently. "You...did have something to do with this...didn't you?"

With a nod, Ironhide tapped the side of his helmet. "Ironhide to Ratchet and Prowl. Mission: 'Revenge of the Fallen' is a success."

Both Lamborghini twins turned in his direction, hearing him speak. Hearing his words, they growled simultaneously and tried to run towards the two, but forgetting their afts were welded together, they just ended up pulling each other off balance and falling over sideways. The shouting continued, but Will ignored them in favor of asking Ironhide...

"Revenge of the Fallen?"

The large mech shrugged as the halls began to shake, and several 'bots came rushing around the corners, pausing and laughing at the sight before them. "It was catchy."

With a nod, Will turned and began laughing, hearing the twins shouting at each other, and hitting each other on the head. "And why _didn't_ they wake up?"

"Stun cannon." Ironhide looked awfully smug.

"Right." Will watched as Optimus showed up, lifted the twins off the ground, and attempted to separate them, only to realize they wouldn't separate, and stare at them in confusion. A solitary chuckle escaped the soldier. "Remind me to never piss you off."

The entire group laughed as Optimus attempted to separate the twins once more, before quesioning why they were stuck together.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**Coming up Next** :

Prowl and Optimus star in... Chapter 9 - Floating Offices

Hope you like it.

R+R please.

Thank you.

Tenshi


	9. OP and Prowl, Floating Offices

**Disclaimer** : I don't own it.

**Darklight8121** - Just wait. There's a second Revenge chapter done, now, and I don't think the twins will _ever_ outdo what those boys did to Sunny. -Sighs- Poor, poor Sunny. -hides the pictures and snickers evilly- And yeah, I can just see the confusion on Optimus' face. LOL

**Dragonwitch250** - I have a payback chapter coming that puts that one to shame, if I do say so myself. LOL.

**Transformersfreak01** - LOl. Thank you :)

**ILoveBumbleBee2009** - LOL, I'm glad you like it. :)

**Elita One** - LOL, I know. Just wait, the next revenge fic is totally Sunstreaker, and if you think poor twins now... -whistles- Just wait. LOL.

**Jovianokamigirl** - Someone finally _did_ weld their afts together, rather than just threatening it, huh? Don't worry, we have at least four more chapters to go.

**Clifjumpersfangirl** - Hm, someone mentioned that prank before, but I actually just got a bit of an idea. It's not a big thing, will probably be a short chapter, but all I have to say is.. Happy Holidays (yes I know it's nowhere near a major holiday or anything)

**KittenCreez** - Just wait, there's more to come, and it's even more evil. Unfortunately, you don't get to it until about Chapter 13. LOL.

**Rubyswordmaster** - LOL, very true, but like I stated above, there's a revenge chapter coming up that might out do anything the twins can think up. LOL. Yep, I spend about 4 days a week at my grandfather's farm, where I help him with the sheep and have no steady access to the internet (for posting). I admit, though, the town I live in is boring as hell. At least there's a fair coming up next month to go to. LOL.

**Captain Arianna Trouble** - Well, he _was_ kind of questioning it, but only because he didn't see it happen, and he wasn't there to see them falling over each other. LOL I was thinking that myself, that he'd probably regret if he wasn't part of it. LOL.

**Negimasamurai** - Oh, yeah, the twins aren't the only ones who are imaginitive. LOL.

**Note** : Hahaha, yesterday on my way home, I ran across a white Camaro with orange racing stripes. I thought to myself, Bumblebee got a new paint job! LOL. It looked a lot like him, too, only it had to be another year or something, the front end wasn't as square, it was more tapered. Otherwise, I was like... Nice car! :P

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**(Normal POV)**

With a snicker, Sideswipe bent down to secure something around the temporary office Prowl had been using, since his arrival and integration into human culture. It wasn't a long time thing, as this office was in a very inconvenient place, on the edge of a deep lake, on the far side of the base. Looking around, Sides scanned his work and smirked before standing up straight.

He then shot a cautionary look around before turning to wave at a gleaming mass of almost sparkling yellow metal across the lake, holding on to a rope. Standing back, he watched as Sunny pulled on the rope, and cackled evilly as he got the wanted result. _**'Everything's in place.'**_ He informed his brother, who promptly dropped the rope and transformed into his 2009 golden yellow Corvette Stingray alternate form and driving off.

Reaching down, Sideswipe grabbed a small rope attached to the edge of the bay and tugged, setting everything back up. He then double checked the reinforcements, because Autobots were pretty heavy, and he wanted to make sure he'd gotten everything just right.

_**'Guys!'**_ Bumblebee's newly repaired voice called to them in warning. _**'He's on his way, and he's got boss 'bot with him!'**_

Sideswipe felt his optics widen and hesitated, even as Sunny arrived, transformed and mirrored the look. Exchanging a glance, the twins didn't know whether to curse their luck or bless it.

"Slag." The simultaneously groaned, realizing their trouble would be doubled, if they were caught. Sideswipe, still wanting the gag to go through, however, set up a small piece of machinery and grinned at his brother.

Transforming quickly, the twins took off into the base, struggling to come up with a back up plan, should they get caught. They barely aknowledged it as Bumblebee joined them, also not wanting to be around to get caught, for helping them.

Meanwhile, Optimus glanced towards the speeding vehicles hastily clearing the area, and narrowed his optics. He recognized the forms and bit back a sigh as he followed Prowl to his temporary office. "It is good to know they have finally finished work on your new office." He admitted out loud. "And I do apologize for sticking you way out here, old friend."

Prowl just seemed to shrug a little, his optics scanning the area. He was still having trouble accepting the fact that they were on an alien planet, working with smaller, fleshy humans and their government. Not that he had anything against them, it was just...strange.

"Shall we step inside and talk?" Optimus stepped up to the door, managing somehow to ignore the way the metal beneath his feet swayed with the motion. He held out an arm, however, when Prowl stumbled. "Humans can be surprisingly ingenious with their creations, however, I do not believe Autobots are meant to have 'floating offices'." His lips trembled a little in a suppressed smile.

Prowl cycled his vents and shot Prime a sour look. "Try sitting in my chair for hours, feeling the entire room shift back and forth with the waves. I didn't believe it was possible for an Autobot to experience sea sickness." He grimaced. "And I have a feeling Ratchet will not be allowing me to live this down, any time soon."

Chuckling a little, Optimus opened the door and stepped inside, holding it open for Prowl. Standing by the doorway, he did have to admit it was uncomfortably unsteady in the room, considering it was set on a massive metal 'raft', floating on water ten feet deep at it's deepest point. Luckily, the raft was anchored to the edge of the cement walkway coming from the base.

As Prowl sat down, Optimus tried to steady himself as he walked over. He struggled to ignore the way the room seemed ti shift back and forth, back and forth, back and forth... He swallowed heavily, understanding Prowl's situation, all of a sudden, and wondering why he'd never complained.

Then again, this was _Prowl_.

Standing over Prowl's desk, Optimus could have sworn he'd heard the sound of metallic shifting outside, but shook it off. The pranksters had taken off, and everyone else had duties they were attending to. Not to mention, with the way the office was creaking with the shift of the building, he wasn't sure it wasn't just the walls.

"So I've been a little worried." Prowl looked up, trying not to grin at the look of obvious discomfort coming from his boss. When he got a raised optic ridge, he shrugged a little. "The twins have been on their best behaviour all week. It doesn't make sense."

The sound of things worried Optimus as well. "We'd best give them something to do, then, to keep themselves occupied."

"Or to give them the chance to pull a prank." Prowl cycled his vents. "But you're right. An idle mind is a dangerous thing, when it comes to those two."

He couldn't fight back the chuckle as he nodded and turned. "Agreed." Shifting unsteadily as the raft rocked a little, Optimus walked towards the door of the office. Opening it, he turned back without even looking outside. "I'll meet you at your new office, my friend." With a final nod, he turned and took a step forward.

"Optimus!"

Too late.

As the cry startled him, Optimus' foot came down hard, expecting to land on solid metal, even as he turned to look over his shoulder and caught Prowl practically jumping out of his seat. When his foot hit water, Optimus spun back around, just time time to do a rather wicked belly flop into the water before him.

_Those...fragging..._ Shuttering his eyes, Optimus quickly got his feet beneath him and stood up straight, staring in surprise when the water came to just below his waist. He could feel the icy wetness running through his wiring systems and thanked Primus he wouldn't rust or short out. Then he growled. _**'Sunstreaker! Sideswipe!'**_ His optics suddenly widened. _**'Bumblebee?!'**_

There was a choked sound behind him, and Optimus turned awkwardly to see Prowl's head smoking. His optics were glowing brighter than usual, and an instant replay was going, showing Optimus' fantastic belly flop. Another choke, then a pop and sizzle, and the giant mech fell forward, performing his own amazing belly flop, face down in the water.

"Frag!" Optimus darted forward and reached down to catch his comrade, bringing him to the surface and turning him over.

_**'You've got mail.'**_ The overly pleasant feminine voice startled Optimus, and he sighed. Keeping Prowl's head above water, he hastily called Ratchet before starting his trek towards shore, at the same time checking his 'mail'.

_**'Check out these fantabulous belly flops! They're out of this world!'**_ Mudflap' voice was easily recognizeable, and an instant replay of both Optimus' and Prowl's belly flops shortly followed.

Judging the angle, Optimus turned to find a red Chevrolet Trax and a green Chevrolet Beat disappearing through the foliage at the edge of the base. _**'Optimus Prime to Skids and Mudflap, you are to return to the floating office, and return it to shore.'**_ He made sure his tone brooked no argument, however he was finding amusement in the situation, and his mask slid over his face because he couldn't help but grin. _**'Immediately.'**_

_**'Yo, but the water's too deep, boss man!'**_

_**'We can't swim!'**_

_**'Learn. Prime out.'**_ Then turning towards the shore, he began to carry Prowl once again. Looking down, he bit back laughter as a particular though hit him.

_At least the water put out the fire in Prowl's helmet._

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**Coming up Next on Autobot Pranks...**

Sunstreaker stars in... Chapter 12, Lady Sunny

Hope you like it.

R+R please.

Thank you.

Tenshi


	10. Sunstreaker, Lady Sunny

**Disclaimer** : I don't own it.

**Dragonwitch250** - LOL. Oh this chapter _was_ fun!

**Skyedragon93** - Oh, I know. Poor Sunny. I'm really glad you like it. :)

**Jovianokamigirl** - LOL, It's probably not what you think. LOL, This time it has nothing to do with Ratchet, either.

**Negimasamurai** - You could be right. I'd suggest for Wheeljack to run for his life. -.-'

**Rubyswordmaster** - LOL. I know, I can just imagine it, too. Poor Optimus, but -snorts- that's flipping hilarious! Nope, out fair is the beginning of next month. I'm going the first night to get pictures of the smash-em-up dirby, and then I'm considering going the last day to get shots of the horse pull. My grandfather loves horses, and so do I. Duzes of Hazzard? I was thinking Fast and the Furious, with the giant burning oil tank bouncing towards them on the road. Hm, I don't know, but we'll see what we can do.

I've never watched Dukes of Hazzard, although I _can_ see an evil Autobot setting up speed bumps. -.-'

**Clifjumpersfangirl** - I get car sick if I ride on an empty stomach or read. The only time I ever really got motion sickness was after riding the gravitron at the local fair, 8 times in a row. LOL. That wasn't fun. Hm, possible chapter idea? -grins evilly- Oh yeah, possible chapter idea indeed.

**Elita One** - You'd think that, wouldn't you? LOL, You might be surprised.

**Captain Arianna Trouble** - Well, I can't let the major twins have _all_ the fun, now can I? Well, ok, so I _can_, but... LOL.

**Note** : This is the last update for the week for many reasons I won't bore you with. So... I'll do what i can to write more and see you all next week. :) Thanks guys, I'm really, _really_ glad you like my fic so far. :)

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**(Normal POV)**

_**'I'm going to kill you!'**_ A high pitched, feminine screech sounded through the empty halls of a currently abandoned section of the camp. _**'How could you... Wheeljack... I-I... I'm gonna slagging offline you good!'**_

A resulting boom filled the smokey lab, and there ws a low groan as a gigantic blue and white mech fell over, a huge dent in his helmet. His blue optics offlined briefly, then flickered back online, and he quickly got up as the horrible screeching continued. "I don't know how this could have happened, I swear!"

_**'Internal communications! Internal communications!'**_ The femme shrieked, throwing another wrench. _**'I'll never live this down if the others find out, and I don't fragging **_**care**_** what happened! FIX IT!'**_ Glowing blue optics flashed red briefly, before the femme turned and stalked off, her slender waist swinging with every step.

A low whistle emerged from the blue and white mech, without him realizing it until it was too late, and when she swung back, her eyes permanently switching to red -out of rage of course, not changing over to the 'Con side- he gulped nervously. "Now, now..." He turned. "If I'm offlined, I won't be able to fix things!"

_**'Fix. It.'**_

The low command was stated calmly, but dangerously, in a tone that almost dared Wheeljack to argue. With a final glare, the yellow, glossy femme turned and sauntered out of the room. Once outside of the door, they paused and looked down at herself in horror. _This is just fragging great! Optimus assigns me to help Wheeljack with his experiments, while Sideswipe's off doing Primus-knows what, and _this_ happens!!_

With a low growl, the femme stomped off down the hall. She bypassed several mechs who stopped upon seeing her, first eyeing her warily, until they saw the Autobot insignia on her armor, then eyeing her appreciatively, some offering whistles, until she turned a long, deadly wrist blade on them.

_Enough of this!_ She mentally hissed, transforming into a sleek, curvy Corvette Stingray, and driving off, still ignoring the blatant whistles she got from both Mechs and humans alike. She drove through the halls furiously, just barely managing to avoid hitting several humans, before screeching to a halt outside the office of one Optimus Prime.

_Despite the sex change, you'd think they'd recognize the wrist blades, or yellow Corvette, but nooooo!_

She growled under her breath as she glared at the door, briefly considering taking it out with a blade, just to make a point. Then she thought better of it. Slapping the panel hard, she stalked in angrily, glaring at the shocked gaze of her commander.

_Fragging hair-brained scientists! Fragging experimental failures!_ She was ranting mentally, trying not to go on a rampage of destruction, she was so angry. Instead, she glared steadily at Optimus, taking only a second to gather her control before she ended up dragging him to Wheeljack and having him try his experiment on the boss 'bot.

"_You!!_" Glaring at him, she stalked forward and removed one of her wrist blades before pointing harshly in the face of Optimus, who looked confused and concerned. After all, as pissed as she was, it really wouldn't do to stab the boss, now would it? "This is all _your_ fault!" Somewhere, in the back of her mind, she aknowledged that it probably wasn't a _good_ idea to _yell_ at the commanding 'bot, but _boy_, was she pissed!

"I'm sorry, can I help you...?" He slowly stood up and gently grasped her hand, his eyes softened. He might not have realized it, but he was definitely being a little _too_ attentive, and it definitely was unwelcome.

"Eeeeeeek!" Practically ripping her hand out of his grasp, she shuddered, and grimaced, realizing she'd just screeched like a femme. "Oh, Primus, don't _do_ that! Let me guess, Wheeljack didn't tell you?" When Prime shook his head, almost looking hurt and very confused, she growled. "Get the report from him, then!" Turning, she stalked out of the room. _I gotta find Sides. He'll find a way to help me get revenge!_

The search took her a while, with her having to dodge the..._attentions_ of several mechs, and the suspicion from Ironhide and Ratchet, who didn't recognize her. Of course, in this form, they _couldn't_ recognize her. That _had_ been the point of the experiment, after all. Finally, she found him laughing hysterically, leaning against a wall in his human holoform.

"Sideswipe."

Looking up at the strange voice, his eyes widened, and then narrowed as a cocky grin formed over his face. His holoform fizzled out of existence, and only seconds later an engine could be heard, before a silver Corvette Stingray raced around the corner, hastily transforming as he pulled to a stop just inches from the femme. "Well, hello there." His tone was low and seductive.

Optics widened before narrowing dangerously. "Don't even start! You wouldn't believe the day I've had!"

"Why don't you tell me all about it?" Sideswipe slid a little closer, never once being phased by her tone. "And maybe later I'll tell you about the latest prank I pulled, with the help of a couple of squishies."

Ignoring his own tone and the second half of his statement, the femme cycled her vents as she recalled the incidents in her mind. It had all started out with Optimus' obvious attempt to keep her and her brother from pulling pranks, by splitting them up and sending _her_ on watch duty over Wheeljack.

**Flashbac**

"Ok, so I've created a special chip that when activated, will create the illusion of a completely different disguise. Basically, you can go from being a yellow Corvette, to a blue and red Peterbuilt semi." Wheeljack was explaining a new experiment of his. "Basically, it's like our transforming, but a lot less time consuming and obvious."

Nodding, the mech standing across from him tried to bite back a smirk. _I could imitate Optimus Prime?_ His mind began helpfully giving him images of all the trouble he could get into, with that.

"You'll not only look like whatever form you chose, but you'll give off the energy signal, and sound or act like it as well. Here, for this experiment, I'm going to try an extreme change. It's basically a shell over you, so you don't need to worry, but I'm going to give you the outward appearance of a femme."

"_What?!_"

"Hey, now! You're here out of Optimus' orders, and this is my project! Shut it and hold still!" Wheeljack moved behind the large yellow mech and began fiddling with something.

**End Flashback**

_What in the name of the _pit_ had convinced me to allow him to attach anything to me??_ Cycling her vents, the femme startled and shrieked in rage when she felt a firm grasp on her aft. "_Sideswipe!!_" Without even thinking, she reached out and punched him directly in the face. _Eww, eww, eww! Eww, my brother _groped_ me!_ Shuddering in disgust, she growled at the shocked silver mech across from her.

"Why I outta..." She glared and stalked a step forward.

"Sunstreaker! There you are, I've been looking all over for you!" Wheeljack suddenly rounded a corner.

Her left optic began to twitch as she turned her deadly gaze on the soon to be slagged scientist. _**'What did I say about internal communications?'**_

Sideswipe froze. His optics widened and he _really_ seemed to take in the femme before him. Then his optics went down to her aft, and then his hand. Slowly, he backed up, his optics finding hers again. "Su...Sunny?"

"_Don't_ call me that!"

Jaws dropped as Ironhide, Ratchet, Prowl and Optimus all walked around that corner, seemingly in a group discussion, and heard the proclamation. Optimus' optics were a little haunted, probably because he'd realized he'd more or less hit on Sunstreaker earlier, whether or not he meant to. Still, from the wicked gleam in Prowl's optics, he had a feeling he wouldn't be living this down any time soon.

"Oh my Primus, I groped my _brother_! Oh my-_EWWWW! NASTY!_" Sideswipe began shaking off his hand, as though he could shake off the fact that his hand had come into intimate contact with his _twin brother's_ aft. "Eww! Eww! Eww!"

Whacking Sides on the back of the head, Wheeljack got his attention and began his report of the damage assessments. "Well, I've run some scans, and..." The scientist coughed a little, almost forcefully, before taking a couple steps back.

Turning to him, Sunstreaker stalked a step forward. His optics narrowed dangerously, even as he absently flipped off someone behind him who whistled. "'And' what, 'Jack?" Once again, the smooth feminine voice that issued forth was more of a dare than anything.

"Well, it seems... Nothing went wrong."

Twitching optic stopped, then Sunny inhaled sharply. "_What?!_ Are you fragging kidding me?! Nothing went wrong my aft!" The light voice was getting higher and higher as Sunny stalked over to Wheeljack and slapped him upside the head. "Have you _seen_ me?! I'm a fragging _femme_!"

"Trust me, we've noticed." There was an undercurrent in Ironhide's tone that made Sunstreaker shudder and glance back at the weapons specialist warily.

"The point is, I should be able to adjust the chip to turn off the shield, and then we can remove the chip, and you'll be as good as new."

_Yeah, but with a reputation I'll never live down. _Sunstreaker thought darkly, as he cycled his vents and leaned back slightly, showing he was backing down. When everyone just continued to stare at him, he narrowed his optics. "Well? What the pit are you just standing there, for?! Get to work!"

Moving quickly, Wheeljack fiddled with the shield, and Sunstreaker felt a small pulse cover him. There was no resulting explosion, this time, thankfully, and when he looked down, he was relieved to see he was back to normal. He felt Wheeljack remove the chip, then turned to Optimus.

"Prime, I refuse to be a part of anymore of his experiments. I don't care what else you assign me to, but by Primus, not _that_! Not again!"

Staring at him a long moment, Optimus nodded. "As you wish..."

Turning, Sunny started to stalk off while planning revenge, only to be stopped by Prime's next words.

"_Lady_ Sunny."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**Note** : Ok, probably not that funny, but at least Sunny got his, huh?

**Coming up Next on Autobot Pranks...**

Prowl stars in... Chapter 11, Avatar Mischief.

Hope you like it.

R+R please.

Thank you.

Tenshi


	11. Prowl, Avatar Mischief

**Disclaimer** : I don't own it, but Just for Laughs owns the gag, and Hasboro owns TF (I think)

**Dragonwitch250** - LOL. I know. That was the point.

**Crystal Rosemary Witwicky** - I hope you didn't hurt yourself. LOL. The Big Balls chapter is definitely one of my favorites. LOL. LOL, Oh trust me, revenge is a sweet, sweet thing, as Prowl is about to find out. ;) Thank you and there's plenty more to come. :)

**KaroKibathephangirl** - Nope, that was the point. LOL.

**Jovianokamigirl** - I don't know. LOL. I don't think Optimus was intending to hit on her...him...Sunny, just being..._very_ attentive.

**Elita One** - Poor Optimus and Sideswipe. Nope, Prowl is next. ;)

**ShiTiger** - LOL, thank you :)

**Negimasamurai** - Is that a hint? I'm sure I could do a chapter that has a lot to do with that, if you want. Poor Elita One, though. -.-' LOL! Ok, update... I wrote the chapter. Let me know if you want to see it, credit was given to you for the idea. :)

**KittenCreez** - Thank you. I wasn't sure, but I'm glad everyone seems to like it. :)

**Wolf Mystic** - I know. Optimus is seriously asking for it. -.-' LOL, I had to include the minor twins. And they'll be making at least one more appearance in a three chapter bit I wrote, on the Autobot Fair. ;) Thank you :)

**Yami-Yugi3** - Ahh the mysterious Yami. YuGiOh, I remember watching that alot. I love it. :) And I'm glad you liked the chapter :)

**D. Huynh** - Only if you want him to chase you around and attempt to offline you, but sure, give it a shot. -pushes over Lady Sunny-

**Clifjumpersfangirl** - I don't. I loved imagining poor Sunny getting a taste of his medicine. LOL

**Rubyswordmaster** - LOL, I know. Sunny hates his paint job being ruined. He's so vain. LOL, Congrats! Now, if I can get a Corvette Stingray, we'll be good. ;) Thank you, it's next month, but I'm looking forward to it. :)

**Note** : A lot of crappy puns, I know. Hope you like it. :)

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**(Normal POV)**

When it came to the Autobot twins and their pranks, you never knew what to expect. There didn't seem to be any personal limits to their mischief, even going as far as to take on different forms, or steal holoforms of the other Autobots. Or, perhaps the worst thing yet, the fact that they weren't above messing with _your_ holoform.

No Autobot expected such an action, even considering the lack of morals when it came to pranks. Then again, maybe it was because no Autobot would want to risk the wrath of Prowl.

Today he was on guard duty in Tranquility, having taken on a fake identity and acting like a human police officer. He left his car parked in one area of the town for the morning, only activating his holoform whenever he caught someone pulling off a crime. Mostly street crimes like speeding and such. It was part of his undercover, as people tended to be suspicious of constantly empty police cars that drove themselves.

What he wasn't understanding was why the people he pulled over on the streets, to give tickets to, were laughing, despite the seriousness of the situation.

When Sunstreaker and Sideswipe made a seemingly random pass through an area of the city, where he was citing a ticket to a young couple for speeding, he frowned in confusion when both twins seemed to swerve and just barely avoided colliding into each other.

_**'Watch it, fragger!'**_ Sunstreaker hissed through the Autobot internal links. _**'Don't scratch my paint job, it took me hours to get this shine!'**_

Sideswipe merely snickered and weaved through the traffic, seemingly laughing too hard to respond, as the two sped out of sight.

"Is it drafty here, or is it just me?" The young man in the passenger seat smirked to his girlfriend.

She glared at him, before turning to the officer standing at her window, staring at her in obvious confusion. "I'm _so_ sorry, officer! Please forgive his immaturity." She seemed to try and smile, but it wavered as she hiccupped suspiciously.

"Why don't chickens wear underwear?" The young man suddenly asked, chuckling a little.

Staring at him in confusion, Prowl trie to process what he was asking. _Chickens wouldn't wear underwear. They are animals. Then again, some humans put underwear on their animals, but never on a chicken, so..._ He could feel the build up as his processors struggled to make sense of the seemingly random question, but before he could offline, the man answered his own quesion.

"Because their peckers are on their faces."

This still made little sense to Prowl, but he supposed from the laughter issuing forth it was supposed to be a joke. Ignoring it, considering it really wasn't funny, he finished writing the ticket and handed it to the young woman who had allowed her head to fall against the steering wheel with a groan. "Have a pleasant day." He bid them farewell and turned to head back to his vehicle form.

_Humans. I'll never understand them._ He got into the car and pretended to drive off, until he got behind a large sign and was able to let his holoform fizzle out of existence.

_**'Hey Prowl?'**_ Sunstreaker's snickering voice called across the private comm links. _**'Did you know the best contraceptive for old people is being naked?'**_

Frowning, he chose to ignore the particularly confusing statement. He knew it was directed at him, as it _was_ Sunstreaker who said it and he was 'old' compared to those two, and looking up 'contraceptive' his frown deepened to understand what it meant. More or less, he believed Sunstreaker to be making one of his many insults daily, but he brushed it off, knowing that the younger 'bot didn't particularly mean it.

Then, getting a particularly nasty notion, the chief of security smirked. _**'Sunstreaker? I bet you were wondering why the frisbee was getting bigger. Then it hit you.'**_ He chuckled silently to himself, recalling that as a human joke that seemed to poke fun at the denseness of the mind.

Sunstreaker didn't comment, but the confusion through the link spoke volumes. Then Sideswipe snickered, and a low growl issued from the yellow twin. Obviously he _just_ got it.

As another car sped past, he reformed his holoform and sped off after them, wondering how anyone was allowed to drive on this planet, with their blatant disregard for the laws set by their government to keep them safe. He pulled the older woman over and got out of his car, noticing with a hint of worry as she grasped at her chest and her eyes widened upon seeing him.

He walked forward slowly. "Ma'am? Do you know you were doing 95 in a 70 zone?" He asked, raising an eyebrow. Prowl had to bend over a little, in order to keep from towering right over her.

Several honks and wolf whistles caught his attention, but he ignored them as he stared at the elderly lady, who was suddenly smirking.

"Why I believe I do." Her eyes seemed to shift almost mischeviously. "Do you know _why_ I did 95 in a 70 zone?"

Taking a moment, Prowl frowned and his eyes narrowed when he realized the car he was standing over, while being unfamiliar, was also very familiar. It was a blue Toyota Corolla, but the energy was that of...

"Jazz?"

"I heard ya got some new undies." The older lady fizzled out of existence, only to be re-emerge as the familiar Jazz Prowl knew. The car remained the same, but whereas the holoform could be changed easily, the car would be far more noticeable. "Well, new to you, anyways." He chuckled. Then his eyes scanned Prowl, and he outright laughed. "Oh man, you haven't even noticed, have you?"

Prowl's eyes narrowed.

"Man, I've heard of the saying follow your dreams, but haven't you heard the rest? 'Except the ones where you're naked at work'." Jazz began laughing again, leaning the head of his holoform agains the steering wheel and wheezing from the force.

"I don't understand."

"I see London, I see France, I see Prowl's underpants!" The scratchy voice called out, as a yellow Camaro drove by slowly.

The humans inside were staring wide-eyed, their jaws hanging. Abruptly, Mikaela whistled, and Sam groaned loudly, dropping his head down and covering his eyes, as he seemed to shudder. "Oh my God, my eyes!" He groaned. Turning into the backseat, he seemed to dig for something. "Mikaela, where'd you put that screw driver? I need to burrow some images out of my brain."

Mikaela was doubled over in laughter.

"I've heard food replaced sex in your life, but to not be able to get into your own pants?" Bee asked, snickering away. He suddenly pealed off, and the laughter of the humans echoed for a long ways.

Jazz was almost in hysterics, and Prowl, having heard enough to guess what happened, took a moment to look down.

He was dressed from the waist up, probably why he hadn't noticed the difference. That, and the fact that his body temperature regulators had been tampered with, so he wouldn't notice the cool air aginst the bareness of his legs. From the waist down, he was clad in a pair of holographic underwear, that looked like it had definitely seen better days.

"The twins..." Now he understood Sunstreaker's words earlier, and their reaction when they'd driven by.

Finally taking pity on him, Jazz agreed -while laughing his aft off- to take on the form of a police cruiser and take over his shift, while he went to see Ratchet about his holoform's...issues.

Heading back to base, Prowl smirked. _**'Ratchet, I need a favor. How are you at tampering with holoforms?'**_Realizing what he was asking of the _chief medical officer_, Prowl winced. _**'Never mind. I need you to get the twins into the med bay and temporarily offline them. Think up any excuse you need. I'll be there shortly.'**_

_**'Something tells me this is something I definitely want to be a part of.'**_ The dry, amused tone came back.

_**'Definitely.'**_ Prowl agreed, grinning evilly enough to scare Barricade.

About twenty minutes later, Prowl's plans had been finalized. He pulled into the base and made his way directly to the med bay, where he transformed and explained the situation to Ratchet. As the medibot laughed, Prowl's optics went to the two unconscious figures as he then took the time to thoroughly explain his plan to Ratchet, who was grinning equally as evilly by the time he was done.

Turning to the table, Ratchet chased Prowl out as he got to work.

**(Several Hours Later)**

All of the Autobots and their human allies were heading to an important meeting in the main hangar. Everyone remotely related to NEST, the Autobots, and even Secretary Keller was there. They were to all be in human holoform for the meeting, as it was easier on the humans, rather than dealing with robots who could squish them in a step.

They were just waiting on two arrivals.

As Sunstreaker and Sideswipe screeched into the hangar, and slowed down to a stop near Ironhide and Volt, they transformed as Prowl materialized his holoform, along with the others. Their disappointment was clear to everyone, when Prowl materialized fully clothed.

Neither of them noticed the anticipatory grins on several mechs faces.

Then it was their turn. Without giving it a second thought, they materialized their holoforms, and there was a chorus of sharp gasps and laughter. Some soldiers screamed dramatically about their eyes, others doubled over laughing. Yet others stood there completely dumbfounded.

"Hey, Sunny, is it me, or is it cold in here?"

Sunstreaker glared at his brother, then his eyes widened when he took in what everyone else was laughing about.

Jazz's optics seemed to dim a moment, before he came back online. "Most nudists are people you don't want to see naked." He seemed to muse out loud, sending most of the humans into fresh waves of hysteria.

The twins had emerged completely naked. Their temperature regulators had also been modified not to allow them to feel anything different, but whereas Prowl still had his underwear earlier, they made sure the twins had _nothing_.

"Oh my God." Mikaela's eyes widened and her jaw dropped. She seemed to be thinking of something to say, before her eyes narrowed and an evil smirk covered her face. "They're so _small_!" She cried.

Several female soldiers in the room began squealing and digging out cameras and cell phones, taking pictures of the naked humans who would physically be in their early twenties. Also, several people mentioned Facebook, Myspace and Flickr.

Sam began to laugh hysterically, even as the twins blushed and glared at her, before exchanging a look, checking out each other and frowning. Obviously they weren't sure what she was talking about.

"They're so cute!" Another girl cried, as more pictures were taken.

The girls were clearly enjoying the show, even if the twins weren't enjoying providing it. They disappeared after a moment, and ignoring Optimus' protests, sped out of the room. Sure, Prowl and Ratchet knew they'd be in for it, but it had been completely worth it!

Smirking from his vantage point, Prowl nodded towards Ratchet, who was laughing. What was the human saying again? Oh, yes...

_Never go to bed angry. Stay awake and plot your revenge._

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**Coming up Next on Autobot Pranks...**

Jazz and Bumblebee star in... Chapter 12, Limbo Enforcement

Hope you like it.

R+R please

Thank you

Tenshi


	12. Jazz and Bee, Limbo Enforcement

**Note** : I've been told on another story that replying to multiple reviews above each chapter can be quite annoying, as it causes the readers to need to scroll down to the actual chapter itself. As this was brought to my attention, I've decided to simply reply individually to my reviews, that way I'm not ending up with reply lists longer than the chapters themselves. :)

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**(Bumblebee's POV)**

_**'I'm bored!'**_ I groaned internally, sagging down on my haunches just a little bit. Carefully making sure no humans were paying attention, I rolled back an inch on my tires, uncomfortable in the guise I was currently hiding in.

The car in front of me shifted a little as well, the black and white gleaming in the sun. The lights atop the hood flashed briefly, catching the attention of two humans walking by, but they continued on when they saw the young man inside, seemingly fiddling with something. _**'Me too, kid. We got nothin' betta ta do, though. We got our orders.'**_ He sighed a little.

Frowning, I mentally groaned about how _hot_ such a paint job was. I wondered how Prowl and Barricade handled the heat in this part of the world, dressed in thick metal armors of pure black, or dark blue. Even the white parts seemed to draw the sun more. I missed the light yellow of my normal armor. The lights atop my own hood were also uncomfortable, despite their importance.

I heard Jazz shifting again. _**'Can't get used to the form, either?'**_ I asked, feeling a little more relieved to know that even a more experienced officer was having trouble. At least I knew I wasn't the only one.

_**'How can they handle tha heat?!'**_ The saboteur shifted a little again, stilling immediately when a curious child looked over. _**'Go back ta mommy, kiddo.'**_ He murmured quietly, breathing a sigh of relief when the child did so.

Smirking to myself, I began to sift through the radio stations, playing some good dance tunes over our private link now and then, in order to at least ease _some_ of the tension. Once or twice, we even got so into it, we bounced on our axels along to the music, when no humans were looking, of course.

We had been assigned watch duty over Tranquility. It was more a duty to get us off the base and away from Sunstreaker and Sideswipe than anything. I knew they were rubbing off on us in a bad way, but I couldn't help that their pranks were fun and filled our empty hours.

Jazz and I were to stay in human holoform, luckily clothed, all day, looking for trouble makers. Apparently it was meant both as an assignment and as punishment for laughing at Prowl when the twins had messed with his holoform.

_Which totally isn't fair!_ I thought with a mental pout. _It's not like we had anything to do with it!_

_**'Man, I'm bored!'**_

Googling something, I laughed a little. _**'I think we've deja'd this vu before.'**_ I quoted off a site online. I had to admit, humans were quirky and could be a lot of fun. Both Jazz and I loved being around them and learning about them, despite their nervous, violent tendencies, at times.

Laughing a little, Jazz bounced on his axels slightly before his human holoform hopped out of the seat of his car. _**'I need ta stretch ma legs.'**_

I did the same. As cramping as it could be, staying in the same position for hours, it was a slight relief to stretch at least a little. I adjusted the policemen's hat and badge on the blue shirt I wore and walked over to Jazz. "I don't see why we can't go back. There's nothing going on."

Jazz shrugged. "'Cause ya know how it works. We leave an' _then_ the 'Cons attack." He raised an eyebrow. "I believe the humans say... A watched pot never boils.'"

"Which makes no sense." I frowned. "A pot will boil if the heat is on, regardless of if it's watched or not." Sometimes human sayings mean little to me. They seemed to conradict themselves. I tried to theorize a few of their strange sayings with Prowl, and then endured a two hour lecture for offlining the poor 'bot when his processors couldn't make sense of them, either.

"Eitha way, we got nothing ta do, and lotsa time ta do it."

Suddenly, an idea hit me. I had recently taken to watching a show called 'Just for Laughs: Gags' where humans played pranks on each other. There was one I really loved, and we were currently, _incidentally_ totally set up for it. "Wanna have some fun?" I sent the video in a data burst and watched as his eyes dimmed a moment, before a positively evil smile crossed his features. "I'll get the 'crime scene' tape."

As part of our undercover, we were required to carry certain policeman tools. Crime Scene tape was one of them.

Rushing around to the dark blue tail end of my disguised form, I dug out a roll of tape, and by the time I'd returned to the sidewalk, Jazz already held a large piece of chalk. "Ok, you lay down in a funky pose, and I'll trace you." I took the chalk and Jazz laid down. At this time, only one or two people passed by, and they gave us odd looks, but said nothing.

Jazz laid down and spread eagle. I quickly traced him, careful to remain fully 'human' as I did so. Once I was done, he carefully shifted out of the spot and got up. He grabbed the tape silently and began to tape off a large area.

Meanwhile, I formed a holographic stereo in my passenger seat before opening the door, and began searching the music database of the planet for the perfect song. It didn't take me long to find it, and I leaned against the car patiently as I masked my face to look bored and grim.

Jaz had taped off a large square, but held the end of the tape by the brick wall of a store with a frown. I could feel his amusement, but we were masters at hiding out expressions in these forms. He stood there, looking patient but not happy, until a young woman happened to try to pass around the tape.

"Miss!" He called, waving her over. "I apologize for this, but I was wondering if you could hold this for me?" He put on a charming smile. _**'Thank Primus I thought to chose an 'attractive' body. Bee, make yourself appear busy, or she won't buy it.'**_

I formed a note pad in my hands, as well as a pen and began to appear as though I was writing. I saw the young lady glance back at me, as Jazz had predicted, but when she saw me writing, she turned back, nodded and took the tape, holding it against the wall.

Jazz walked around the outside of the taped off area, and seemed to be examining something. _**'Now.'**_

I switched on he stereo mentally, and bit back a grin as a song typically used for a game of limbo began to play. Jazz stiffened up theatrically and began to dance around, as if he couldn't resist. Looking up, I could see that he wasn't even trying to look good, just being goofy. He slowly began towards the tape, hopping a little with his steps an as he got to the tape, he leaned over backwards, limboing under it.

The girl holding the tape stared at him in confused shock. Her eyes were wide and her jaw was hanging a little loosely as Jazz continued to dance around inside the tape.

Then it was my turn.

I put the notepad away and walked over, appearing all business like. Then _I_ paused theatrically and began to dance around. By this point, a few people had stopped and were laughing as I proceeded to limbo under the police tape. Some were even taking video and pictures. The poor girl holding the tape appeared to be laughing so hard, she needed to lean against the wall to keep from laughing.

I then danced around with Jazz, struggling not to laugh when he hooked his arm with mine, and we limboed back under the tape together, the way we'd come.

Once we were done, I mentally shut off the stereo, saving a recorded copy of our little game and bowing to our audience, informing them that was all. Then we waited about an hour for everyone to dispurse. Then we repeated the performance, this time bidding some of our audience members to join us, until we had an all out limboing party going.

_**'Prowl to Jazz and Bumblebee, report.'**_

_**'There's nothin' **_**ta**_** report, boss man. Nothin' excitin' happened all day.'**_ Jazz was smirking as he limboed with a young woman on each side. _**'Just a whole lotta nothing.'**_

_**'Right. That's why there's 'Youtube' footage of the two of you limboing down the sidewalk?'**_

I would have froze, except I was half under the tape myself, with a cute little brunette girl, who actually fell over laughing at her attempt. I made it to the other side, helped her up, and turned to Jazz. "It's getting late. We'd better get back, before the boss finds us goofing off."_ Too late, but..._ I hated to be the one to end the game, but we didn't want the humans to wonder why we'd suddenly gone all serious, or started staring off into space.

Prowl cycled his vents over the line. _**'No harm this time, but next time stay alert. You are incredibly lucky there were no Decepticons around. Return to base, Prowl out.'**_

We were disappointed the game was over, but hesitantly we began to disperse the crowd. We thanked our limbo partners, and then cleaned up the 'crime scene', putting everthing away. Or, at least, _appearing_ to. We made sure no one was looking, then switched back to our true forms and formed our real holographic selves, driving back to the base.

When we got back, we weren't surprised to find out all the Autobots had already been informed about our little game. Optimus wasn't happy, but we could see the amusement in his eyes. Then Jazz had the perfect idea.

Grabbing some rope from one of the hangars, he roped off a large section of the base, while still making it that the humans could get around easily. Jazz called a few of the other Autobots, and we began a whole new limboing party.

Can you imagine the looks on the faces of the humans, when they saw Ironhide and Optimus actually _limboing_?

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**Coming up Next on Autobot Pranks...**

Sunstreaker stars in... Chapter 13, Revenge of the Fallen, Part 2 .............-Realizes something- OMG! This is the Cougarmobile chapter! :D :D :D :D

Hope you like it.

R+R Please

Thank you

Tenshi


	13. Revenge of the Fallen, Part 2

**Disclaimer** : I don't own it.

**Note** : My longest chapter, yet. LOL Inspired by **hummergrey**'s '**If an Autobot, do NOT do the following'**.

I actually saw this done to a woman's SUV before (though not painted pink), and it came complete with the, erm... added hood ornament you'll read below. LOL I wished I had my camera to get a picture of it! LOL!

Thank you all for your lovely reviews. :) I'm glad you're all liking it so far. :)

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**(Ratchet's POV)**

"I've had enough of their pranks!" I hissed, stalking around my med bay. Luckily, no one had been seriously harmed in the acts, but the twins were becoming quite the nuisance. Sparing a single glare towards Ironhide and Prowl, I could see the red flecks in their optics, showing their displeasure as well, and cycled my vents. "We need to come up with a plan of revenge."

Ironhide nodded. "Apparently having their afts welded together wasn't good enough." He groused, folding his arms over his chest.

"Revenge should be easy enough." Prowl nodded as well, leaning against the wall. "Sideswipe is cocky, and Sunstreaker is obssessive about his paint job. All we need is a prank to focus on one of those aspects."

"We won't be able to get them to come to the med bay that easily again." I turned and stared at my co-conspirators. "They'll be on the lookout for anything out of the ordinary." I quickly did a mental check and smirked. "Sunstreaker _does_ have a physical, however, in two Earth days."

"We have until then to come up with a plan." Ironhide stood up, ceasing his leaning against my workbench. "Something focusing on his paint job."

"Wait." Something clicked in my processors, and I was suddenly recalling a prank done on a friend of Mikaela's. It involved a girl's vehicle, paint, spray paint, and fuzzy boas, and I quickly did an inventory, realizing I had all the necessary equipment in my confiscation from. Especially considering I'd confiscated the boas glued to Jazz's fenders earlier. There was only one piece missing. Mentally, I thanked Primus Mikaela had seen fit to inform me of this incident.

"Ironhide, I'll need you to have a private talk with Mikaela Banes and Sarah Lennox." Briefly, I explained what I was looking for, despite the odd looks I received, and I chuckled when the other two pairs of optics in the room narrowed evilly. "Bring the stuff to me, and hide it in the back room. Make sure _no one_ sees you." I instructed, before chasing them out of my bay.

_This is going to be good!_

**(The Next Day, Ironhide's POV)**

_This is embarrassing._

Once the initial glee had worn off, to have the agreement and full support of the two formidable human femmes, I found myself accosted. Sarah almost demanded I take her and Mikaela to their homes for 'supplies' while simultaneously, she gave her husband the evil eye until he agreed to watch Annabelle, promising to watch his language around her and behave like a father.

I would have argued, but I'd learned long ago not to mess with human femmes. They were surprisingly strong and impressively resourceful when they were angry.

Still, this had to be one of the most demeaning things I'd ever done, and it didn't help I was getting curious gazes from my fellow mechs, who silently promised inquisitions later, just because it was _Sarah _Lennox behind my wheel, not Will. Not that, that was a rarity, but with Mikaela in the passenger seat, both wearing grins that would make Decepticons fear for their lives...

I shuddered a little, just barely managing to keep it out of the notice of the femmes as I slowly drove through the hangar. A glance out my back window had me sighing in relief a little. _Thankfully they thought to cover it with a tarp._

Then I did a double take and screeched to a halt when I spotted something.

"Human-err... Mikaela, there is a _strap_ hanging out of my bed." I tried to keep my tone quiet and somewhat polite.

She shot me a look that said 'So what?', but a low growl sent her scampering out of my cab and towards the bed, where she hurriedly stuffed the strap back under the tarp. Her eyes glittered a little as she returned and calmly slid back into the seat, but she remained otherwise quiet.

These femmes had surprisingly good...poker faces.

"This is gonna be good." Sarah bit back a snicker as she relaxed her already light grip on my wheel and let her arms drop to her side. "Promise me you're gonna get a picture of the finished product?" Her wide doe eyes turned to me, and I sighed again, making her squeal a little. "Thank you, 'Hide!"

Mikaela giggled. "Bee wants to know why you got to take me out today, instead of him."

"Optimus wasn't happy that Bumblebee was a part of the floating office prank." I shrugged a little, sending the humans jumping a little when the seat beneath them moved. "He has been watching over the youngling to find out whether the twins have had an adverse effect on him or whether this was a one time thing."

"And he doesn't know about the limbo cops thing?"

Considering most of the base was talking about it and had participated in it, it would be pretty much impossible for him _not_ to. Especially since, after much badgering from fellow Autobots and pleading from humans alike, _he_ finally took a turn. I shrugged again, purposely blocking all memory of having participated in that event myself. Luckily, some of the humans had been absent from the event. "He does, but considering that time it was _Jazz_, the situation is different."

As we pulled up to the med bay, we spotted the twins coming down the hall. Quickly, Mikaela bent over and groaned loudly, appearing to be in pain. I was about to question what was wrong when I caught her glancing up at the dash and winking with a smirk, before letting out another groan.

The twins didn't even pause as they drove by and I entered the bay. Once the doors were shut, both femmes burst out laughing and exited my cab, stalking out of the way as I drove past an evilly smirking Ratchet and into the back room.

**(Next Day, Normal POV)**

"I really need you to be offline and in your alternate form for these scans." Ratchet raised an eyebrow. "The scans _are_ rather painful."

Sunstreaker shot Ratchet a wary look. His optics scanned the room, certain something wasn't right. Seeing nothing out of the ordinary and fully aware Ratchet was reaching for a wrench, however, he wisely chose to transform into his sleek yellow 2009 Stingray Corvette Concept form, popped his hood, and he cycled his vents before reluctantly going into forced recharge.

What he had failed to see, however, was Ratchet reaching beyond the wrench for a syringe filled with a strange liquid.

Once Sunstreaker was offlined, Ratchet smirked and grabbed the syringe, stabbing it into a vulnerable cable on the left side of the engine. Then he retracted the syringe, chuckled, and made his way into the back room. _**'Ironhide, Prowl, it's time.'**_

It only took seconds before he heard the door to his med bay opening, and the familiar roar of the black GMC Topkick C4500 pulling into the room, followed by the quick blare of police sirens. He gathered what he could carry with ease and exited the back room, ignoring the looks on the others' faces as he handed them each items and began ordering them around.

Then he returned to the back room and picked the last piece, entering the room again and laughing at the way Prowl's head began to smoke, before the chief security officer forcefully shook it and focused on the task at hand.

Together, it took the three officers about an hour to finish the work, and Ironhide and Prowl were long gone before the effects of the cybertronian sedative wore off, or Sideswipe came looking for his brother. Ratchet even made sure he had all the scans he needed, before quickly vacating the office.

It didn't take long before a horrendous screech echoed through the entire base, and the three prankers in the main hangar doubled over laughing. Everyone else was confused, even as trailing mechs came rushing into the room to find out what the problem was. That only served to make Ratchet and the others laugh harder, realizing they had a large audience for what they knew was coming next.

And they were right.

_**"YOU FRAGGING SONS-OF-GLITCHES!!!"**_ Sunstreaker's angry yell echoed through the entire base, as well as over internal comm links, causing all the Autobots and humans alike to wince at the volume and sheer venom.

"I think we went a little far this time." Ironhide crouched down and his cannons came out momentarily before he seemed to think better and quickly transformed into his Topkick form, before transforming back. He wasn't scared, though, he was just preparing to take the fight he knew was coming to a safer area.

Ratchet nodded, only slightly nervous, even as he backed up the file with the 'finished product' images and hid it in his memory banks. He quickly transformed into his yellow Search and Rescue Hummer H2 form, and awaited what he kne was coming.

_**"I'M GONNA OFFLINE YOU SO...SO.... SIDEWIPE, STOP LAUGHING!!"**_

Said laughter was echoing over the link, and seconds later a silver Corvette swerved into the hangar, driving back and forth like a drunk was behind the wheel. He barely managed to avoid hitting several humans and then proceeded to hide behind Optimus Prime's legs, his entire body shaking from his laughter. "Primus! I... I..." He broke up into laughter again, unable to finish his sentence.

_**"RATCHET! THIS IS ALL YOUR SLAGGING FAULT, YOU GLITCHING-!!"**_ A loud screech was heard.

All of a sudden, a sight practically flew into the hangar. All noise stopped as absolutely _every_ set of eyes and optics focused on the...._pink, fuzzy_ mass. Mechs, femmes and humans alike all stared in horrified awe of the image before them, even as the said vehicle screeched to a stop and froze dead in it's tracks, leaving an extremely long set of black skid marks along the cement floors.

Sunstreaker sat quietly as everyone seemed to take him in. His usual golden yellow paint job had been replaced with a faded pink coat, and pink fuzzy boas were glued firmly to his fenders. Then, to top it all off, a _giant_ stuffed..._thing_ was strung across his hood, and the words 'Cougarmobile' were spray painted across his windshield and windows.

Several Autobots needed to look up the meaning of 'Cougarmobile' as well as identify the strange object on his hood. Then they all began to double over laughing, and loud clicks began to whir through the room, both from them speaking in their native language, _and_ from them taking pictures of the work. Jazz collapsed into a graceless heap on the ground, recognizing the muse for the paint job and boas, and pointing as he laughed hysterically.

Bumblebee choked on his laughter, his wings bouncing around as he doubled over, standing over his human charge, who looked too horrified to laugh.

Ironhide carefully shifted around as Sarah and Will were standing beneath his feet, Annabelle sitting firmly in Sarah's arms. She was glaring forcefully at Sunstreaker for his language, but he obviously didn't care, and she broke out of her glare when Will shuffled her aside so they avoided being stepped on, when Ironhide accidentally stumbled a little with the force of his laughter.

Prowl's head smoked violently, but somehow he managed to stay online. He was leaning against a rather shocked Optimus Prime, clutching said leader's arm to keep from falling over. Said leader was standing there with his mouth wide open and his optics so wide, everyone wondered how they didn't fall out.

Then it got better.

Having had enough of standing there, looking like a fool, Sunstreaker decided to transform.

Mikaela and Sarah exchanged a look before turning and taking off out of the room, at least one hand covering their mouths as they tried not to laugh. Sarah was worst off, carrying a curious two year old Annabelle, and trying to run straight as tears streamed down her face with the force of with holding her laughter.

Sam and Will also exchanged looks before Will trailed off after his wife, somewhat worried about her balance and Annabelle's safety. Sam obviously wasn't quite so worried.

Or smart.

The fuzzy boas got caught up in Sunstreaker's internal mechanics, but considering they were made of harmless fluff, they didn't do any damage as they were ripped off. Unfortunately, they got stuck in certain areas, so when he was finished transforming, several bits of fluffy boa were hanging out of his lower midsection, hanging over the juncture between his legs, almost like a fuzzy curtain.

To top it all off, the strange object on his hood, quickly idenfitied as a massive, stuffed bra, was also moved, and still hung over his chest. No one dared ask the question on all their minds, about how he transformed _without_ tearing it to pieces.

"How did you transform _without_ tearing the bra up?" Sam's head was tilted in confusion, a mild look of horror on his face, completely overwhelmed by the look on amusement.

_Well, _almost_ no one._ Ratchet thought, watching with a smirk as the human ducked out of sight and through the open window of the waiting Topkick -startling Ironhide in the process- when Sunny shot him a murderous look.

_**"I KNOW RATCHET, YOU WERE BEHIND THIS!"**_ Sunstreaker was shaking, and held on to his blades tightly. _**"AND I WOULDN'T DOUBT YOU, EITHER IRONHIDE!"**_ His optics settled on Prowl, who wasn't able to hide a snicker. _**"**_**AND**_** YOU, PROWL!! I'M GONNA FRAGGING CUT YOU IN HALF!! ALL OF YOU!!"**_

Optimus coughed slightly, a human gesture used to get attention, and blinked as the formerly yellow 'bot turned towards him, his left optic twitching. "Now, Lady Sunny-" He choked off in laughter, even as several other mechs made the connection to the incident with Wheeljack, and backed off when Sunstreaker's other optic began twitching as well.

"Wow, an Autobot with gender confusion. There's something you don't see every day." Epps spoke up, before disappearing out of the room in a fit of laughter.

Sunstreaker growled loudly and transformed again, managing to finally tear the boas off in the process. However, he ignored the massive bra still on his hood as he sped off after the laughing soldier.

Everyone who was able to think clearly enough to move, grabbed their cameras and cell phones and began getting video of the laughing soldier being chased around by the pink Corvette with the bra on top.

Then they all began laughing again, as said Corvette turned on the pranksters, and everyone watched a Hummer H2, GMC Topkick, and blue and white Police Cruiser were chased around the hangar, laughing their afts off at the cursing 'Cougarmobile' on their heels.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**Coming up Next on Autobot Pranks...**

Prowl stars in... Chapter 14, Happy Holidays, Prowlie Claus

NOTE

: I have a chapter about a femme Optimus, as revenge from Sunny, (all credit given due), do I post that next, or the one listed above? Let me know what you think. :)

Hope you like it.

R+R Please

Thank you

Tenshi


	14. The Primeess?

**Disclaimer** : Transformers belongs to Hasboro, I believe. The idea for this chapter belongs to **Negimasamurai**. I'm just happy to write it. :)

**Note** : Due to a review, I've decided to post 'Prowlie Claus' at a later date, as a one-shot. Instead, I hope you enjoy femme Optimus. :) Oh, and I'm sorry for the late update, I was visiting my best friend for her birthday, and only _just_ realized I couldn't open any of my files on her computer for some reason. :S

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**(Normal POV)**

Stalking down the hall, Sideswipe's face was a mask of grimness. Those seeing the large silver and black mech quickly got out of his way, and never suspected a thing as he rolled by, not even sparing any of them a glance. Little did they know that despite his gruff exterior, he was dying of laughter within.

He rolled past Ironhide, who shot him a look, and returned the gesture with a narrowing of dark blue optics. As if the grim mood he was in satisfied the weapons specialist's curiosity, 'Hide shrugged and turned, walking off in the distance. Once he was out of sight, Sideswipe's optics widened, and he covered his mouth with one hand to keep back a snicker threatening to escape.

_**'Hurry up, Sides. He's not going to remain in recharge for long!'**_ Sunstreaker's voice shot over the internal communications line, startling his brother back on track.

Turning, Sideswipe eyed the corridor warily a moment, before swiping his hand over a panel and ducking into an office, letting the door silently slide shut behind him. He then turn and stared at the other two figures in the room and snickered again, before holding up a tiny micro chip. _**'Got it! Not to mention...'**_ He held up a data pad with an evil grin. _**'Got **_**all**_** the instructions on how to use it.'**_

With twinkling optics, Sunstreaker held out his hand for the chip, while simultaneously leaning over a larger mech, who appeared to be in recharge. _**'They always said he worked too hard.'**_ While following Sideswipe's instructions, and making a few..._simple_ modifications of his own, Sunstreaker attached the chip to an area of the other mech's armor, where he wouldn't be able to reach it himself. _**'Time to see how it works.'**_

Flicking a small button on the data pad, there was a flash of light in the room that was almost blinding.

_**'Huh, at least the fragger fixed the explosion part.'**_ Sunstreaker's optics narrowed and he grinned victoriously as the light faded, revealing the form of the other former mech. "Let's see how _you_ like it." He muttered, walking around the desk and towards the door. _**'Come on, Sides. I'm tired and I don't wanna miss this.'**_

With a low snicker, the two 'bots left the room, leaving behind the femme 'bot who recharged on, oblivious to what had just happened.

**(Next day)**

Ironhide and Ratchet were walking down the hall, past a particular office and talking about the defense training for the humans, when a loud shriek caught their attention, causing them to stop cold and spin around with weapons raised. They looked for whatever the threat could be, but never could have expected what they saw as the door to the said office opened.

A scantily armored, _voluptuous_ femme 'bot came stumbling out of the office, blue optics wide with horror and confusion, only to pause when she found herself staring down to mechs with weapons raised in her direction. "Whoa! Wait a minute!" She cried, raising her hands in a sign of harmlessness.

Slowly, they lowered their weapons, taking in the gorgeous femme in front of them. It seemed to bypass their logistics routines that the armor she _was_ wearing was a familiar red and blue, and the flame decale was even _more_ familiar.

"Why, _hello_ there." Ironhide sidled up to the femme, smiling brightly. Even more so when he saw the Autobot emblem on her chest, and realizing she was an ally. "What's a pretty little thing like you doing here?"

Ratchet stood there dumbfounded. "Primus!" He walked over slowly, his own grin forming. "Are you lost? Maybe we can help. I wasn't aware that any femmes had landed, but if they all look like you, I can imagine why Prime would wish to keep you secret." His optics narrowed a moment, taking in her armor, but then he brushed it off.

Her optics had narrowed considerably at what the medibot was implying, until she realized what he was saying and then they widened impossibly more, and cooling jets switched on as her mask came over her face, covering her nose and mouth. "I, um..." She backed up, noticing how hungrily both mechs were staring at her. "Stop that!" Turning, she dashed off, past several confused humans, and _very_ intrigued mechs. "Stop staring at me!" She yelled at Jazz, swinging her hand and clipping his helmet as his optics scowered her body.

_Oh Primus!_ She ran through the halls. "Excuse me, Sam!" She called, hopping over the startled boy, only to shriek when she crashed into Bumblebee and the two went sprawling across the ground. "Ow." She murmured, shaking her head and leaning up, staring down at the smaller 'bot.

Bumblebee looked a little dazed, but as he seemed to realize he was straddled by a gorgeous femme, he began to chirp out Cybertronian apologies. Then he got a _good_ look at her, and his optics widened before a low wolf whistle sounded.

"I'm bringing sexy back." The music began pouring from his speakers, even as his own cooling jets switched on. "Yeah!"

Realizing the awkward position, the femme squealed and got off the young 'bot in a hurry, blushing as she dashed off. She could hear Sam laughing at poor Bumblebee's awkwardness as she went. Luckily, she had no more bad luck as she made her way to the more empty area of the base, where Wheeljack performed his experiments.

_Let's see... There's no way this could have _just_ happened. The last time something like this happened..._ Her optics narrowed angrily. _The twins. I should have known. __**'Sunstreaker. Sideswipe. Where are you?'**_ They obviously weren't at the base, or she was sure she would have seen them.

_**'Out on patrol. Who... Um, who is this?'**_ Was that a snicker over the line.

_**'You'll be finding out first hand, **_**very**_** soon.'**_ Came the low threat, before she muted her comms and walked into Wheeljack's office. "Wheeljack."

The blue and white mech spun around, looking confused. "Oh, hello there. I wasn't aware we were getting a new member of the team today, let alone a femme." He paused and seemed to appreciate the view. "Very nice, what's your speciality?" Once the words were out, his cooling jets switched on, and he ducked his head. Obviously, he'd been spending too much time around humans.

Not even hesitating, the femme let one long orange blade slide down from her wrist and held it against the mech's throat. "What do you think?!" She hissed, her entire body trembling. _First Ironhide and Ratchet. Then Jazz and Bumblebee. Now Wheeljack? _She realized this must have been how Sunstreaker had felt when he was in this position. "Find the chip. Remove it."

The orders were simple, and Wheeljack's optics widened in horror as he finally recognized the blue and red flamed armor. "Op... Optimus? S-Sir??" His optics shuttered once. Twice. Then he shuddered and pushed the blade out of his way. "I'm really starting to regret this damn chip." He murmured, optics scaling the tall, slender back in front of him. "Has anyone ever told you, you make a lovely femme?"

A low growl was his answer.

"Right, uh...never mind." _Bad thing to say. Bad thing to say. _Shaking a little, he finally located the chip and began working to remove the holographic image it was producing. After several moments, he pulled back with a horrified look. "Um, sir? I... I believe we m-might have a problem." He fiddled with the chip some more. "Something's been tampered with. It's going to take a while before I can remove this."

Another low growl echoed through the room, and the femme went rigid in front of him. "Get the scans over with. I have a mission to complete." Her tone was low and deadly. _I'm going to declare a..._ Her optics narrowed as she searched the Worldwide Web. _An 'open season' on the twins. Whomever finds them can offline them._ She barely resisted shaking her head. _No. That won't work. They're _mine_! _

Once the scans were over with, she took off out of the office and speedily made her way back to the main hangar, where unfortunately, she was surrounded by several mechs. "Move it! I'm going twin hunting!" She hissed, pushing Volt out of her way as she made her way to a clear area.

"Twins?" Ironhide seemed to temporarily shake out of his stupor to stare in confusion. "They're not here."

"I _know_ that!" Without even turning around, the femme quickly transformed, freezing in horror when she realized that her truck form had also changed. It was still a semi cab, but the form itself was more slender and curvy. She groaned at the numerous whistles before starting her engine and roaring out of the hangar.

She barely paid heed to the vehicles following her.

_**'Sunny... Sides... Where **_**are**_** you?!'**_ The tone was only _slightly_ psychotic, even as she felt an optic twitch. While she could appreciate a good joke, this was going _too_ far. _**'Don't worry... I'm not going to hurt you.'**__ Much._

Ironhide pulled up in Topkick form beside her. _**'Miss, uhh... Are you sure you have clearance to be out here?'**_

_You'd think they'd pick up on a few things._ First of all, sure she was a femme, but she was a _blue and red flamed_ femme, who turned into a _semi_, who also appeared at the same time their leader disappeared. _Did they even notice 'Optimus' was gone?? _She wanted to smack her head on something, but settled for picking up her pace.

Soon enough, two shiny Corvettes appeared in the distance, speeding off. She picked up her pace even more, growling as she slowly closed in. _Hmmm... Offline them, beat them, or destroy their paint jobs beyond hope of simple repair..._ She contemplated. She managed to out maneuvre Sunstreaker, and bashed into his side, ignoring the horrified squeal he made when her armor scraped against his paint and left traces of hers on him.

Then she proceeded to knock Sideswipe off course and into Sunstreaker, further messing up his paint.

_**'You two...'**_ She bashed into Sunstreaker's fender, grinning evilly at his indignant squeak. _**'Will be lucky if I don't tear you into little pieces.'**_ She swerved and avoided Ratchet, who was blocking her and trying to stop her from doing any damage. _**'No one will mind, I'm sure. Besides, I'm 'boss 'bot'. I can do whatever I please.'**_ She drove around Ironhide, who was too busy admiring her murderous mood to interfere.

It went on that way for quite a while. The twins taking a beating in alternate form, and many of the 'bots hanging back, wondering what was going on.

"Hell hath no fury like a femme scorned." Ironhide sang out, causing the twins to speed up, pushing their engines as they struggled to avoid the clearly psychotic semi.

Then a blast rocked the ground, and everyone scattered. Many transformations later, and several Autobots, along with four femmes -our blue and red femme, along with the Arcee triplets- stood glaring at Megatron and Starscream, who dropped out of the sky.

"Fragging Autobot scum! We're here to-_hello_." Megatron blinked at the femme in the lead, with the curvy body. A slimy smile appeared on his face plates and he scanned her form. "Where did _you _come from?" He stalked over, ignoring the Autobots tensing as he approached, and checked her out.

Apparently, he failed to notice Wheeljack arriving, or the look of blatant horror and disgust on the femme's face.

Running a claw up her arm, he leaned in a little. "How about you join me and together we can conquer this pathetic back water planet and create a new race of Cybertronian warriors?"

Blue optics blinked and widened, even as the claw that had been rubbing her arm, slowly wound lower and lower, until it brushed against her aft.

"Optimus, sir! I found-oh! Oh! Oh, _Primus_!"

Everyone blinked at Wheeljack's bizzarre reaction, looking at him, and then to the femme who looked about ready to tear Megatron to pieces. Well, more so than she had earlier. Then they all took in her armor, and the fact that their boss was M.I.A.

Several sets of optics widened in blatant horror.

Megatron almost shot away from the femme's side, realizing the horrifying indications. "_PRIME_?!" His own horror was easy to tell, as he glared at Optimus, before glaring at his own claw, like it had somehow betrayed him. "I felt up my _sibling_?!"

A snicker escaped Starscream.

Big mistake.

Turning on him, Megatron scowled. "_You!_ You failed to warn me! You fail me _yet again_!" He bashed his claw into Starscream's head.

"I didn't know, sir!"

"That's no excuse!" Turning back to the Autobots, Megatron shuddered. "This isn't over!" Transforming, he took to the air and disappeared faster than anyone had ever seen him fly.

Meanwhile, Wheeljack walked over and after a moment of tinkering, successfully removed the chip. The holographic image shimmered a moment before Optimus' true form broke through. Turning, he glared at the twins and stalked towards them, pausing as he reached Bumblebee's side. With a smirk, he turned to the horrified youngling.

_**'I'm bringing sexy back, **_**yeah**_**!'**_

Bee shuddered and squealed, his cooling jets flipping on and his mask dropping down over his face.

With a hint of a laugh, Optimus transformed and returned to the task of teaching the twins a lesson, much to the amusement of the entire Autobot base, which sat back and enjoyed the impromptu smash-em-up dirby.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Hope you like it

R+R please

Thank you

Tenshi


	15. Megatronia

**Disclaimer** : I don't own it. **Hummergrey** owns the idea of a mech decepticon turned femme, and a 'close kiss'. I don't even own that. :)

**Note** : Wheeljack decides to discard the chip. Unfortunately, Starscream is following him, sees this, takes the chip back to the 'Con base, and decides to use it on Megatron. Also this is a Decepticon-centric chapter, but the Autobots _might_ appear at the end. I don't know much about some of the 'Cons, so I'm just winging it.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**(Normal POV)**

As Wheeljack drove through the empty streets of the warehouse district in Tranquility Nevada, he cycled his vents. _It was an actual success, too. I can't understand why Prime-_ An image of femme Optimus being groped by his brother came to mind, and Wheeljack shuddered so violently, his alternate mode swerved. _Oh, wait. Never mind._ Still, even though he understood, it was a sad prospect all the same.

He'd been ordered to destroy the chip, so something like that never happened again.

He was driving out to a single warehouse large enough for him to stand in, where he'd set up a few things necessary to dismantle the chip. The only things he needed were the chip itself and the data pad containing all the directions. Those were what he was carrying now.

Changing back into his bipedal form, 'Jack cycled his vents again and took the chip and pad out of a holding compartment. "Two little mistakes. That's all it was." He trudged into the warehouse. "Having Sunstreaker try it at all, and then not leaving it guarded afterwards." Setting the things down on a table, he froze when Prowl's voice came over the internal communications.

_**'Decepticons are attacking!'**_ A set of coordinates were sent via a datalink, and the attack was uncomfortably close to the base, where the humans were currently staying. _**'All available Autobots are ordered to return at once!'**_

Turning, Wheeljack transformed and was off like a bat out of hell. He flew out of the building, clearly missing the figure that ducked around a corner, and sped down the street towards the highway that would lead him directly back to the base. Not once did he think of the chip, or the fact that he hadn't been alone.

Back at the warehouse, Starscream smirked as he entered the hastily abandoned building. _**'Autobot scum has evacuated, as planned. Commencing search.'**_ There wasn't anything really specific he was looking for. This was simply a recon mission, to find out what the Autobots were up to, and if possible, put a stop to it.

Coming across the chip, Screamer's optic ridges rose. He picked up the data pad next to it and read the information. After getting a snort and chuckle out of the incidents with Sunstreaker and Optimus Prime, an evil smirk crossed his features. _He's never see it coming and never be able to pinpoint it was me who did it._ He quickly snatched up the chip and ran out of the warehouse. _If he does, I'd be so offlined, it wouldn't be funny._

He re-read over the contents of the data pad and smirked again. _It'd be worth it, though._

Wheeljack never suspected a thing. When he returned to the warehouse and found the chip and data pad gone, he assumed he'd already destroyed them and forgotten about it. Though it _was_ suspicious that he had no memory of doing it, he shrugged it off. Either way, the chip was out of his hands, and far away from the pranking twins.

**(Later)**

Megatron was recharging on his 'throne', while all available Decepticons were running scans, spying on Autobots, or recharging themselves. Starscream had been ordered to clean up the base, and instead of arguing, did it faster than ever. He was finished with plenty of time to spare, and mentally ran over the chip instructions again as he casually strolled down the hall towards the main room with a data pad in his hands.

Skywarp and the others never even questioned why he wasn't as moody as usual and simply let him by to leave his report with the boss.

So no one was around or even suspicious when Starscream approached the recharging Megatron. No one suspected a thing when, after leaving his report on the pile, Starscream then pulled the chip out of a hold and very gently attached it to the back of Megatron's neck.

Finally, no one was around when the seeker stumbled out of the room, almost running away, while laughing his aft off as silently as possible.

It was later, when a rather feminine voice was heard snarling, and a pretty banged up Skywarp ran out of the main room, that people began to notice.

Barricade, having been stalking down the hall froze at the sound and raised his weapons at the ready as he ran towards it. _Megatron was in there last! _He thought furiously, struck with the instinctive urge to protect his leader, as he dashed into the room. Abruptly, he froze again.

There, standing in the center of the room was a dark brown femme. She wore barely any armor, and seemed to be glaring around at anyone who snickered or whistled. She was tall and shapely, and Barricade felt his spark flutter as he watched her burning crimson eyes scan the room.

"Who dared do this to me?!" She snarled, her voice low, seductive and dangerous. "I want whoever did this brought forth!" She clapped her hands, one changing back and from a gun to a hand.

Barricade looked around the room at all the Decepticons staring in shock and lust at her before cycling his vents. Then he noticed something. _Where's Megatron?_ Frowning a little, he shook his head. _A bothersom, delusional femme isn't worthy of the attention of the great leader._ Turning to the others, he snarled. "Return to your stations!"

The other 'Cons all looked shocked to be ordered by Barricade. Or maybe they were just shocked he was there, as clearly none of them had noticed his arrival, due to ogling the gorgeous femme.

Funnily enough, poor Starscream looked both disgusted and turned on. He was the first one to leave, almost running out of the room.

The said femme narrowed her eyes at Barricade. "Who said you could give the orders?!" She snapped, stalking over. Neither of them seemed to notice as the room quickly emptied, leaving them alone. "Who's the leader here?!"

With a smirk, Barricade stepped forward, getting into the personal space of the femme and watching as she quickly backstepped, looking a little uncomfortable for a moment before the glare returned. "Not you." When her eyes flashed furiously, his smirk grew. "Why don't you come with me? I'm certain we can find..._accomodating _quarters for you until Master Megatron requests you be brought to him." _Like perhaps...handcuffed to my berth? Or better yet, tied to the far wall. Hmmm..._

A low growl reached his audio sensors and he returned his attention to the fuming femme. "I _am_ Megatron, you fool!" She screeched angrily, throwing up her hands in frustration.

For a long moment, Barricade stared at the femme. While he was absolutely certain this _wasn't_ Megatron, what being a _femme_ and all, he couldn't deny the similarities. The only problem was that everyone knew, the only known sibling to Megatron was Optimus Prime, and both were _mechs._ He narrowed his optics a little. _Sad. It's clear her logistics routines are malfunctioning. Clearly delusional. Perhaps one of the others can be bothered to fix it._

"_What_ are you staring at?" She quietened down a little, looking wary as she took another step back.

Unconsciously, Barricade was drawn to the way her hips swayed with the movement and he took a step forward. _That doesn't mean I can't still..._ Taking another step forward, he approached her slowly, chasing her against a wall before bracing himself over her, one arm on either side of her head. With a smirk, he watched as her optics widened and her expression became horrified. _Oh yes, little one. I do believe you've caught on to my train of thought._

Without even waiting to hear what she undoubtedly wanted to say, he lurched forward and crashed his lips against hers, catching her off guard. He kissed her savagely, not even realizing she wasn't kissing back.

Then the screaming started. The femme began thrashing against his chest, causing him to chuckle and press more firmly against her to make her realize she was stuck. _Then_ he felt his optics widen as a sharp, excruciating pain shot up from _just_ left of his groin. Pulling back sharply, he glared at the femme, who pushed herself away from him, and limped back holding the dagger that was jutting from his upper thigh.

"You slagging-"

"Fool!" She screamed interrupting him, the air around her charged with rage. Her eyes were almost black, they had darkened so much, and every weapon on her body was raised and aimed at him. "You stupid, slagging _fool_!" She let loose a volley of shots before transforming and taking flight.

Barricade was left behind, a pile of smoking scrap metal, groaning in the corner of the room.

**(Near the Warehouse District)**

Wheeljack was working on the table, dismantling yet another project, when Optimus rolled in.

"Hello, old friend." Optimus seemed much more like his old self, when he transformed and walked over to Wheeljack. It was also a relief to find the larger 'bot held no grudges against the scientist, as Wheeljack had no way of knowing Sunstreaker was apparently suicidal.

Speaking of the yellow mech, Wheeljack was currently working on rerouting the power to one of his cannons, which had been damaged when Optimus hit him a little _too_ hard in retaliation.

"Optimus, sir." Wheeljack nodded.

"I've come to warn you, we've picked up a Decepticon presence approaching quickly. It's just the one, but the others are waiting at the perimeter, in case it's a trap." Cycling his vents, Optimus pinched the bridge of his nose. "Come on."

Wheeljack followed his leader silently, wondering what was going on, and together they exited the building. It wasn't a moment too soon, either, as a plane, clearly not an earth vehicle, came rushing out of the clouds. Loud screams were heard as it decended to the ground and transformed into a clearly enraged Decepticon femme.

"What the _slag_ is going on?!" She screeched angrily. Glaring at Optimus, she almost ran up to him, getting into his face. "_You!_ You had something to do with this, didn't you?! Fragging Autobot _scum_!" She punched him in the face. "How _dare_ you?!"

Wheeljack's weapons were at the ready, but he only with held his fire when Optimus raised a hand.

The great leader stared down the femme. "I don't believe we've met." He watched her without a glare, even as he rubbed the nose she'd hit. Still, he took a step back, unable to keep his optics from scanning the slender form. "I'm not certain what's going on, but let's talk about this." Ever the patient leader, Optimus would rather not have to fight a femme, especially seeing as how there were so few left.

Her optics narrowed dangerously. "Try it and you'll be a femme yourself by the end of the day." She watched him wince and smirked. "Or rather, you'll be a femme _permanently._"

"You know about that?" 'Jack groaned a little.

"I _should_. I was there." Turning on the scientist, her optics flashed and one of her hands turned into a gun. "And I believe it was your technology that did this to me. Now, fix it and I might just let you live to see another day."

Blinking a moment, 'Jack frowed. "It couldn't have been our technology. I destroyed the chip." Then he paused. "Or...I _think_ I did. I don't remember. There was an attack and when I got back it was gone."

It was the femme's turn to blink. "The attack?" She lowered her weapons, perplexed. "But that was just a distraction. I sent a few Decepticons to keep you away from here while..." Abruptly her optics began to twitch. "While... While _Starscream_ was to do recon on the area, checking to see what you were up to." Her body jerked violently. "That little slagging worm told me he didn't find anything!"

Optimus' battle mask slid over his face as he quickly backstepped and stared at the femme. However, it wasn't a sign of battle, so much as he was trying _very_ hard to hide his laughter.

"You _ordered_..." Wheeljack's optics widened.

"Of course I did!" She glared at him again and stepped closer. "Don't tell me you don't recognize me. Oh, that's right, you_ don't_." Raising her gun, she aimed it at Optimus, all the while glaring at Wheeljack. "Find the technology and remove it, or he dies."

"Megatron." _I should have known._ He shuddered a little, in disgust. Cycling his vents, Optimus nodded at Wheeljack and remained steady, even as one of his swords appeared. He would be ready to defend himself.

Moving slowly, Wheeljack went around behind her back and began looking. _**'Funny how both Optimus **_**and**_** his brother make attractive femmes.'**_ Wheeljack didn't seem to realize his internal communications was on an open channel.

There was silence for a moment, as everyone seemed to process this. In that time, he'd found and quickly removed the chip, before tossing it aside and blasting it. Then there was a chorus of snorts, several engines were heard rushing into the area, and everyone began talking at once.

"You fool!" Megatron screamed, jumping back as the other Autobots rolled into the area.

_**'Megatron?!'**_Ironhide was on full defense, transforming as he ran and powering up his cannons.

Sunstreaker and Sideswipe were heard snorting and laughing as they followed behind. _**'Oh, man! That's priceless! Megatron**_**ia**_**!'**_

Optimus shuttered his eyes and groaned, trying not to laugh.

_**'Miss Cybertron pagent, anyone?'**_ Jazz laughed, standing behind Optimus. Taking a look at Megatron, he seemed to think. _**'First place would be a tie between Optimus and Sunstreaker, though.'**_

There was a chorus of laughs, and Megatron glared at him. "Didn't I tear you in half?!"

With a shrug, Jazz gestured to a smirking Ratchet. "He fixed me, with a little help."

Bumblebee was shaking in laughter, and began playing music from beauty pagents.

With a low growl, Megatron stepped back again. "This isn't over, Autobot scum! I _will_ have my revenge!" _But first things first. I need to deal with Barricade and Starscream._ Transforming, he took to the air and fled back to the base, where he began stalking the area.

He failed to notice the police cruiser just a little distance away from them, who was shaking in horrified disgust, before taking off. And he also failed to notice the shaking jet that was flying as far away as possible.

_...Megatronia._ Starscream snorted a laugh as he flew through the clouds. _Oh, so worth it!_

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Hope you like it.

R+R please.

Thank you.

Tenshi


	16. Ironhide, The Autobot Fair, Part 1

**Disclaimer** : I don't own it.

**Note** : This is a multichapter segment, known as 'The Autobot Fair'. I have at least three Fair chapters to come, focusing intently on numerous rides and such.

My ideas are slowly but surely running out, I'm afraid. I'm going to see what I can do, but I have very few chapters complete. When I do run out of ideas, I will set the story status to complete, but if I am ever hit with a prank muse again, I can add it on later. It's what I did with other one-shots series I've written.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**(Sam's POV)**

"You know what would be cool." I paused and looked at Mikaela, who raised her eyebrow in response. "A fair." When she gave me an odd look, I shrugged. "Something fun and normal we can do together and have a good time."

Mikaela smiled slowly. "Until the smaller twins decided they wanted to ride the ferris wheel."

The image flooded my mind and I blinked. I could just see it, too. The ferris wheel stopped, and the attendant lets Skids and Mudflap into a single cabin. Then they start to fight as it rises up in the air, the said cabin shaking back and forth before two robotic heads stuck out. The laugh that escaped me was shocked and a little disturbed, as I pictured them panicking and screaming for help.

"Optimus would just be able to reach up and pull the entire cabin down."

I hadn't realized it, but Mikaela was taking a drink when I mentioned that, and snorted into it, causing her to break out into a coughing fit, even as she laughed.

"A fair is an event for humans, meant to entertain, isn't it?" The voice was unexpected, and Mikaela and I both spun to find the major twins behind us. Sunstreaker's eyes gleamed in a way that told me if I told him I'd be in trouble, and if I didn't I'd be in trouble. "With rides and games and such?"

"What's a ride?" Sideswipe asked, standing beside his brother.

I exchanged a look with Mikaela. Oh, how to explain this. "Well..."

We tried. We really did. In the end, I think we did _too_ good a job. We'd taken the twins to the rec room and then turned the tv on to where it was broadcasting about a local fair. It showed the rides from the outside, and in some cases from the inside as well. The games were of little interest to the brothers, but the look in their eyes as they took in some of the _rides_...

"Hey Sunny, you thinkin' what I'm thinkin'?"

"That if you call me that again, you'll seriously regret it?" Sunstreaker shot his brother a look. Then he smirked. "I'm thinking we need to check out one of the local 'fairs'."

"Right." Mikaela raised an eyebrow. "Because people see Autobots at fairs _all_ the time."

"Then maybe we should build an Autobot fair." Sunstreaker shot back, glaring at her a little. "And we won't invite the humans."

With a snort, Mikaela laughed. "Trust me, any fair built by an Autobot, I doubt a human would _want_ to go to." She shook her head, brushing her hair out of her face. "Who wants to get splattered in 'bot bumper cars?"

I blinked for a moment. "They wouldn't need the 'bumper car' part, either. Just their alt forms." Then I winced. "Although Ratchet might have a few afts to weld later." I saw the look both brothers shot me and ducked down a little. "Never mind."

Mikael then laughed even harder. "Autobot merry-go-round, anyone?"

I tried to picture Ironhide sitting on the back of a pony, holding on to the pole and glaring. Then I blinked and scrubbed at my eyes, even as I shuddered. "That is a _seriously_ messed up idea. Very scary." I groaned, hearing Mikaela giggle.

"I got it!" Sideswipe was grinning evilly as he grabbed his brother's arm. "We need a mini fair, just for Autobots." The words were innocent enough, but the tone he spoke in had Mikaela and I exchanging worried looks.

"Um, you know the government will never go for it."

Sides waved off her concerns. "We're out in the middle of nowhere, with miles of space. We can raid scrap yards for scrap metal and other spare parts. We have a lot of down time since there's been no recent Decepticon attacks, and we can tell them it's for morale and experiencing more of human life."

Sunstreaker's eyes slowly narrowed as he listened to his brother. "We need to make sure even Prime will fit in the rides."

Mikaela and I exchanged a look, both wondering why Optimus would _want_ to try the rides, then both of us grimacing as we undoubtedly had similar images of said Prime on various rides.

**(Two Months Later)**

"I still say Optimus on the Tilt-a-Whirl." Mikaela grinned at me, giggling as Bumblebee bounced excitedly, jostling us a little.

Shaking my head, I didn't even keep up the pretense of driving, considering we were in the middle of nowhere, and there were several driver-less vehicles all around us. Well, with the exception of Will, who was riding in Ironhide, and Maggie and Glen who rode in Ratchet. "Ferris wheel."

"That would bore him. Hm... Tunnel of love?"

Bumblebee gave off a metallic snort.

Shaking my head, I grimaced. I really didn't want to imagine Optimus sitting on a giant swan shaped boat going through a tunnel with all sorts of lovey dovey stuff around him. "How about... Bumper cars he'd definitely win at. Who'd stand a chance against a Peterbuilt Semi made out of super strong alien materials? Um..." I tried to think. Oh!" I snapped my fingers as I mentally listed all the rides the twins had included in their giant fair. "I _so_ wanna see Optimus get on the open Gravitron."

Mikaela's eyes widened and she pointed to my window, even as she covered her mouth.

Startled by her reaction, I turned to find the window down and Optimus driving alongside Bee. _Crap._ There was a slight crackle over the radio before his confused voice cut through the smaller Camaro.

"What's a 'Gravitron'?"

I sighed and shook my head. _I could tell him, or he could look it up._ "Wait until we get there. I could tell you, but who knows what the twins have done?"

It was the truth, too. The twins had secluded themselves, along with the help of several other Autobots, including the minor twins, the Arcee triplets, Volt, Hound and Wheeljack. Even on occasion, Ratchet would go out or Bumblebee. Ironhide, Jazz, Prowl and Optimus were completely clueless to what was going on.

"How'd you manage to get the government to agree to it, anyways?" I asked curiously, trying to figure out why they'd ok a _giant fair for alien robots_.

"We told them the cost to them would be very low, and there would not be many people to explain anything to." Optimus sounded almost surprised. "I must admit, the idea sounds like fun."

Then a police cruiser snuck up on our other side. "Yes, until the twins spring whatever prank they're pulling." He groused, before driving ahead of us.

"What if the fair _is_ the prank?" Mikaela wondered out loud. "I mean, some of the rides would be pretty hilarious."

I nodded, my mind stuck on Optimus in a gravitron. Seeing something up ahead, I had to do a double take, and then it took everything I had for my eyes not to fall out of their socket. "Holy sh-"

Bumblebee honked loudly, much to our amusement, and sped off ahead, his excitement almost tangible. He squeeled into the massive fair that towered over us tiny humans even more than usual, and threw his doors open, almost booting us out in his hurry.

Once he was transformed, he began to bounce around, making all these excited little squeals and chirps, his antenni wiggling back and forth and his door wings fluttering. Giant mech or not, he was absolutely cute, and Mikaela's little coo proved it.

The other mechs slowly transformed, even as Sunstreaker and Sideswipe, along with their friends, all came out of hiding. Some of the rides moved on their own, and much to our enjoyment, there were even human concession stands, with cotton candy, candy apples, and more. Apparently that was an add in on Ratchet's request, which Wheeljack and Volt were only too happy to agree to.

Immediately, everyone began to split up. Ironhide and Prowl stayed close to Optimus, who stayed at our sides along with Bumblebee, and the minor twins took off for a giant, covered, flat ground. Jazz looked around a moment before gently taking Flare-up's arm and leading her to the biggest ferris wheel I'd ever seen.

"Player." I murmured, pointing it out to Mikaela, who giggled.

Jazz looked over at us and winked.

I watched as Jazz and Flare-up bypassed the ferris wheel, seemingly at the last moment, and heading to a giant merry-go-round. I blinked awkwardly as I watched Jazz help Flare-up up onto the back of a unicorn before he took a pony next to her. Then I felt my jaw drop when Hound started the ride and walked off. It seemed simple enough. Ride the back of the 'animals' around and around at a calm, liesurely pace.

Then it began to speed up. Jazz's optics remained fairly calm, even as he leaned over and took Flare-up's free hand.

Slowly, the ride went faster and faster, until I couldn't make them out anymore. I could hear a faint squeal from the ride, and watched silently in fascination as after a moment, it began to slow down, before easing to a stop. Jazz and Flare-up were both swaying on the backs of their rides, no longer simply holding hands, but actually _clutching_ at each other for dear life.

When they failed to get off quick enough, I watched as the ride started up again. Jazz shot Flare-up a horrified look, which soon disappeared when the ride spun too fast for my eyes to keep up.

There was a low chuckle, and Hound walked over. He stood there with his arms crossed and waited patiently until the ride slowed enough, before getting on it and turning it off.

Mikaela and I busted up laughing when Jazz actually _fell_ off the back of the ride, and Flare-up leaned against the pole on the unicorn's back, still swaying unsteadily. Exchanging a look with my beautiful girlfriend, we turned to the Autobots, who seemed lost in discussion. Bee was the only one really paying attention, like us, and he chirped happily, shaking in silent laughter.

"Ok, so what first?" I asked, wrapping an arm around Mikaela's waist. Bumblebee helped us up into his hand, and we realized the group of mechs sticking to our side were suddenly staring at us intently. "What?"

"Seeing as how this is a human affair, we do not know what to do." Optimus answered easily. "What _do_ we do?"

"Pick a ride, any ride." I swept my hands out, ignoring the way Sunny and Sides were grinning as they ran off towards a massive open..._thing._ Upon closer inspection, I realized it was a giant gravitron, and I grinned. "But you might wanna save that beast for last." I admitted, pointing.

Ironhide's eyes narrowed. "Why? It doesn't look dangerous." Leave it to the weapons specialist to find the challenge in my simple warning, and rise to it.

"Looks can be deceiving." I shrugged. Then I slapped my hand over my face when Ironhide grunted and made a straight line _towards_ the said ride. "Oh, boy. Come on, Bee, we'd better follow him."

We did just that, too. With Optimus heading off in another direction to check something out, and Prowl going over to the bumper car ring where the shouts of Skids and Mudflap could be heard, we were on our own. Ironhide ignored the snickering twins as he boarded the ride. Then he stood in the center of it.

"Uh, 'Hide?" Vaguely I wondered where Will had gone off to, but I let it be as the massive weapons specialist turned to us. "First of all, you're supposed to go over to one of those padded...areas." I pointed to one and he did so. "Then you slide off the belt part at the waist, step in and turn your back to the pad." He did so again. "And re-attach the belt thing."

As soon as he did, Sideswipe hit a button, and the entry way slid up, leaving the giant ride unaccessable by human means. Before Ironhide could get worried, however, I assured him it was supposed to do that.

Then the ride began to move.

I almost fell off Bee's hand as the three of us laughed, hearing 'whOA, whOA, whOA' over and over again as the ride spun in place, going faster and faster until Ironhide was nothing more than a streak of black. As the ride picked up speed, so did the volume of his 'whOA, whOA, whOA's.

"Whoa, guys!" I watched with wide eyes as Ironhide began to curse. "It's not supposed to go _that_ fast!"

"I compensated for the weight of Autobots, as well as our advanced sensors." Wheeljack walked up to us. "In fact, it _is _supposed to go that fast." He pointed out a smaller version right next to it. "That is the one for humans." His optics shuttered briefly as Ironhide yelled furiously.

"Let ME outTA here YOu slaGGErs!!"

I laughed even harder, hearing the tinge of panic to his voice, and I clutched on to Mikaela and Bee, who weren't doing much better.

"STop thIS fragGINg rIDE!!"

Finally, after several moments of watching the thing spin in place, Sunny hit a button, and we all watched -slightly dizzy by this point- as the ride slowed and eventually stopped. Ironhide was seen standing clearly unsteadily in the spot before clumsily unhooking the belt, taking a single step out of the booth, three quick steps to the side and doing a face plant on the ground, where he lay, groaning.

By this point, Bumblebee hurriedly put us down as he bent over and clutched at his midsection, energon tears streaming down his face as he laughed so hard. Sunstreaker and Sideswipe weren't much better. Then Ratchet came running over. He started to scream at the twins, but I managed to get his attention.

Wiping tears from my eyes, I gave him a frank stare. "The ride is _supposed_ to do that." I warned him.

His optics widened as he warily stared at all the rides. I don't think I'd ever seen him turn so suddenly nervous before.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**Coming up next...**

Volt and the Minor Twins star in... Chapter 16. The Autobot Fair, Part 2

Hope you like it.

R+R please.

Thank you.

Tenshi


	17. Volt & the Minor Twins, 'Bot Fair, Pt2

**Disclaimer** : I don't own it.

Decepticon mentions are inspired by **KittenCeez**.

**Wolf Mystic** - LOL Thank you :)

**Dzeniibby** - I would pity the mate. :S It would be a scary thought. O.o And yes, poor, poor Barricade. He's going to need to scrub his mouth out after _that_.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**(Normal POV)**

It was a day like no other. Sure, there had been past days where Sam and Mikaela were sure they were going to pull something laughing, but today just never seemed to end. First was Ironhide on the gravitron. Once Ratchet helped him off, the humans almost died laughing at the miserable groaning and Ironhide asking when Ratchet decided to make clones of himself, he'd been laid out in a rest area nearby, where he promptly went offline.

The twins were _still _snickering away about it.

_Then_ they made the mistake of asking how they managed to get the fair done so quickly. After all, even hundreds of humans couldn't put a fair together in such a short period. Sure, they could set one up, but not make the rides out of spare parts and get it all done from scratch.

It was kind of neat, too. It was all recycled parts and stuff, but it had also all been buffered and colored, so it all looked like a giant metal wonderland. Sunstreaker and Sideswipe were beaming with pride when Mikaela had told them about it.

"Wheeljack helped us with the rides." Sideswipe stated with a shrug. "He was able to calculate the speeds and trajectories and such of the human rides and adjust them for Autobot capabilities. He also looked up the blue prints to get the rides put together right."

"He didn't decide to experiment on any, did it?" Sam asked nervously.

Raising an optic ridge, Sunny shrugged. "Isn't that what adjusting the parameters is?"

Sam felt his stomach drop as he realized most of the Autobots milling around probably had no idea how dangerous the rides were. "Maybe we should go see what the others are up to?" He looked to Mikaela, who nodded in immediate agreement and then to Bee, who did the same. "Thanks guys, we'll, uhh... We'll leave you to have fun." He forced a smile and waved, even as Bee turned and walked off, leaving Mikaela and Sam to run to catch up.

"You know, it's probably a good thing Optimus didn't go on the gravitron." Mikaela mused. "It probably would have exploded, or something."

Sam winced. "I wouldn't be surprised.

Stopping by the bumper car arena, they paused, watching two motorcycles, decked in padded gear, running after two Chevys, also in padding. There were still a number of dents and scratches, though, and engines revved as the Chevys turned and started after the motorcycles, who were easily able to dodge and maneuvre around.

"Huh, bumper cars with a whole new meaning." Sam turned to Mikaela. "Ratchet's gonna have a field day." _And Sunstreaker wouldn't be caught dead here._

She nodded and we continued on. Pausing at a giant glass walled maze, I watched Volt try to make his way through.

**Slam.** "Frag." He rubbed his nose. Turning to his left, he took two steps forward. **Bang!** "Frag." He felt along the glass panel for an opening, found it and walked through. Then he made a left hand turn. **Bang!** "Slagging..." He was rubbing his face again as he took a step back and tried to take a step to the side. **Slam.** "Frag." He sighed heavily and looked around.

Mikaela had a hand over her mouth and was trying to hold back her laughter, but the tears streaming down her face and the violent shaking of her shoulders gave her away anyway. Sam wasn't much better, biting his knuckles until it hurt to keep from screaming in laughter.

Bumblebee didn't even try to hide his amusement.

When the twins did something, they never went half way. The panes of glass were huge, and cleaned just right so there were no streaks. They were basically invisible to the naked eye, unless you really knew what to look for. And considering it was all set outside, only the frames of the panels were easily visible. The only problem with that is... The twins built frames over the openings, too, so you couldn't tell them apart _that_ way.

**Bang!** "This is getting tiresome." Volt was only about halfway through the maze, and truly looked stuck.

"Can you just imagine if the Decepticons showed up right now?" Mikaela questioned curiously, tilting her head to the side a little as Volt continued to slam face first into almost invisible glass pandels, growing more and more irritated as he went.

Sam tilted his own head, unconsciously mirroring Mikaela's actions.

**Sam's Daydream**

Starscream was flying over the fair when he caught sight of the Autobots in various hilarious situations. Slowly, he scanned the area, laughing at their misfortune but being smart enough not to attempt to attack any who were grouped together. Then he laid eyes on Volt, seemingly alone, and seemingly having problems with his navigation sensors, if the odd way he was walking were any indication.

Snickering evilly, he flew down and landed a few feet behind the blue mech. "Over here, Autobot scum!" He snarled, raising a hand and sneering at the surprised look on the 'bot's face. With an evil cackle, he raced forward, ready to offline the mech in front of him.

**CRASH!!!**

Bouncing back a step, Starscream shook his head, a little dazed. He looked to the 'bot, who appeared not to have moved, and still seemed relatively unharmed. "What the...?" With a snarl, he started forward, again.

**SLAM!!**

Bouncing back again, he stumbled right into another surface, and growled when he realized there appeared to be an invisible wall in front of the Autobot. "Cloaked shields? Devious, but they won't save you."

"What the slag are you talking about?" Came Volt's bored question. With a sigh and a shake of his head, he turned and took a step to the side. **Bam!** "Frag."

Blinking a moment, Starscream began searching the worldwide web for such a strange phenomenon. Then he decided frag it, and turned to leave. Perhaps the grouped Autobots would be easier targets afterall.

**Bash!** "Ow-Whatthefrag?!" Holding his nose, Starscream turned and tried to go in another direction. **Crash!**

Autobots gathered and began laughing, as not only was the Autobot stuck, but so appeared the Decepticon. They stood back and watched, laughing, as the naive 'con never even once thought to use his cannons to take out the 'invisible barriers'.

**End Sam's Daydream**

Laughing so hard he doubled over, Sam explained his thoughts to Mikaela, and got a snorted laugh for it. "Oh yeah." She nodded wholeheartedly. "Screamer'd be good for that."

"Megatron on the merry-go-round." Sam added, and Bumblebee hiccupped a laugh, his optics widening. "Scary image."

**Sam's Daydream**

"FraGGinG AUToBOT ScUM!" Megatron's panicked voice cried from the spinning merry-go-round-of-horrors, clutching tightly to the pole sticking out of the merman's back. He turned and glared at the Autobots watching, or rather..._tried_ to glare at them, and one of his optics ended up falling out from the attempt. "Aw, _frag_!"

**End Sam's Daydream**

Shaking his head, Sam decided that one was a little more disturbing than he wanted to think about. Turning, Sam grabbed Mikaela's hand and dragged her away from the sight before Volt either lost his temper, or they literally _did_ die of laughing. They found what was supposed to be a haunted house, and a giant cart came out with Optimus and Prowl sitting in it, looking less than pleased.

"What is so frightening about a mass of energy that cannot physically harm you?" Prowl's head was tilted slightly.

Glancing at Mikaela, Sam frowned. 'Mass of energy?' He mouthed silently.

She shrugged. 'Ghosts?' She mouthed back, looking as lost as he felt.

Shaking his own head, Optimus got up and abandoned the ride. "About as much as a rather asthetically unappealing woman in a black hat, with green skin, I suppose." Looking down at the humans, he smiled. "Sam. Mikaela. How have you enjoyed your day so far?"

"Better than the lot of you, it seems." Sam answered, choking a little as he wiped his eyes.

Mikaela snorted a little and covered her mouth before taking a deep breath and staring at Optimus with glittering eyes. "Ironhide made the mistake of ignoring us and going on the gravitron."

"Not like we knew the twins amped it up." Sam put in slightly, causing Bumblebee to crackle out a laugh.

His girlfriend nodded. "He's...offline, I think. Ratchet's looking after him."

"Volt's stuck in the house of mirrors." Sam added, before looking to Mikaela. "Slam, 'frag'."

Bee snickered.

"And I'm guessing the house of horrors isn't very horrifying."

Optimus sighed. "No. I believe these are all human fears, and they are not very convincing."

Wheeljack walked up then, his fins lighting up in a chuckle. "I looked it up on the Worldwide Web. The house of horrors ride is not usually meant to be very frightening."

Nodding in understanding, Optimus knelt down and held out a hand for the humans to get on. "Well then, where to next?"

Sam and Mikaela exchanged a look.

"Gravitron."

"House of Mirrors."

They stared at each other a moment before cracking up laughing and having to lean against each other to keep from falling off Optimus' hand.

"How about the drop tower?" Mikaela pointed towards a tower high enough that people over one hundred miles away could probably pick it out. At least from such a distance, they'd think it was only a new radio tower and not bother questioning how it popped out of nowhere so quickly. She grinned wickedly. "I wanna see who goes on it and their reactions."

Optimus exchanged a look with Prowl and Bumblebee before turning and heading towards the tower. They made our way over surprisingly quickly, and bit back snickers when Bumblebee, along with the Arcee triplets and minor twins all clambered on to the two rows of massive seats. They pulled the thick metal harnesses over their bodies and then relaxed as Hound walked over to activate the ride.

Slowly, the ride ascended the pole. After about ten minutes, Optimus chuckled and raised his empty hand to press something on the side of his helmet.

"This is boring!" That was Arcee. "Where's the fun in this?"

"Just wait, we're not even at the top yet." Chromia argued.

There was a blast of music from Bee, signalling his agreement, along with an excited chirp. And yes, he could speak, he just chose not to. The ride slowly ascended out of the humans' sight, and Sam noticed that all the Autobots in the area had their heads tilted back to watch. Thankfully, Optimus kept his receiver on speaker so the humans could hear them.

"Yo man, this is gettin' kinda high." Skids sounded nervous.

"What's the second part?" Mudflap wasn't sounding too much better.

They soon found out. As the ride reached the top, it froze. Everyone seemed to wait with baited breath as it sat up there for several minutes, not moving. Then the complaining began.

"Isn't it supposed to...?" Mikaela made a motion with her hand, and Sam nodded.

Hound snickered. "It will. Just wait."

Just as he finished saying that, the ride began to plummet down. Cries of panic sounded from the Autobots on the ride, even as the two teens felt Optimus stiffen up and take a step back. Screams were heard, along with several Cybertronian clicks and whistles.

Abruptly, Optimus began to laugh. "They are calling for their femme creators." He informed Sam and Mikaela, looking up as he continued to laugh.

One scream was heard above all others, and Ratchet came running over in a panic. Just before the ride hit the ground, it stopped and smoothly landed, bobbing only twice with a bunch of wide-opticed Autobots clinging to their harnesses for dear life. "What's going on?!"

The harnesses clicked, releasing their prisoners, and the 'bots on the ride had never moved so fast. Arcee and her sisters took off for the next ride, grumbling about how they were never getting on that one again. Apparently not even entry to Earth had been that scary. Bumblebee stumbled over to us, optics alight with excitement and babbling away in Cybertronian, much to everyone's amusement.

Skids and Mudflap stumbled out of the ride, and collapsed on the ground, kissing it and whistling and clicking in relief as they awkwardly clutched at each other, causing more laughter from the crowd.

Ratchet stared at them before turning away, optics twitching.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Hope you like it.

R+R please.

Thank you.

Tenshi


	18. Ratchet, Autobot Fair, Part 3

**Disclaimer** : I don't own it.

**Note** : This is my first attempt at Ratchet's POV, so please don't hate me if it doesn't turn out. Also, this is a last minute add in, considering I haven't had too much done to Ratchet, and this hit me as a vague idea.

**Maraluch** - LOL. oh, I know. I once went on it 7 times in a row. Then pulled an Ironhide, sort of. I walked around behind the ride and flopped over in the grass for a few hours. LOL

**Wolf Mystic** - Don't worry there's more to come. ;) You know, I never noticed, but he kind of does... Except for being turned into a femme. That, I think, would count as the worst. Or the cougarmobile one. LOL!

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**(Ratchet's POV)**

As soon as I realized this pit-cursed fair was the idea of the Corvette twins, I was wary of it. I ran through Earth's databanks on fairs, and was able to account for far too many ways to create veritable pranks, many of which could easily end up in the offlining of a fellow mech, or even a human. They assured me, however, this was simply an idea they received out of overhearing Mikaela and Sam speaking of local humanoid events.

_Mental note: Remind Sam and Mikaela to beware what they speak of in the immediate hearing range of the twins._

I was surprised that Optimus agreed to it, but when he brought up morale, it seemed to make sense. What bothered me was that a lot of the commanding officers had been forbidden to interrupt their building, unless it was a Decepticon attack.

I never stopped being wary.

I looked up every bit of information available via the Earth internet, and frowned to myself as I stocked up on all possible medical supplies I might need. Especially considering Sarah had heard about it, and insisted there be something for the humans to work on. That wasn't a bad idea, except that _Wheeljack _would be the one doing a lot of the calculations and construction.

**Flashback**

_**'Prime, are you certain this fair is a good idea? What if the humans get hurt?'**_A small check informed me this was literally the tenth time I'd asked him, in as many hours. Could I be blamed? Wheeljack was notorious for his failed experiments and making things blow up.

There was a cycling of vents over the line. _**'Yes, Ratchet. I have forwarned the twins. Will himself went to check it out earlier, and he says it's coming along fine.'**_ There was a hint of laughter. _**'And he says the human rides and concession stands were first to be completed.'**_

**End Flashback**

I winced as I looked around. Currently, Ironhide was offline due to his navigational sensors being disrupted by the 'Gravitron' ride. How any human was meant to endure a ride like _that_ was beyond me. Considering the pure junk I saw soldiers walking around with... By Primus, did that 'hot dog' have 'chili' _and_ 'cheese' on it??

Shaking my head, I struggled to ignore my basic programming, screaming that I had to find and destroy the sources of such unhealthy monstrosities. Then Annabelle Lennox came running over, a sticky looking substance all over her face and hands, and what appeared to be a liquid sugar coated fruit in her hands.

"HiRatchet!" She smiled and waved, bouncing in place excitedly. "Isn'tthisfun?!"

Blinking, I frowned. _She could put Blurr to shame._ I thought in slightly amused distaste. "Annabelle, are you certain it is wise to be eating that?"

"Mommagotitforme." Looking past me, her already excited face lit up even more and she squealed loud enough to cause me to cover my audio receptors before temporarily muting them. I didn't need them on to understand her speaking, anyways, even though it was unusually fast. "There'smommyanddaddy! Gottago! ByebyeRatchet!" She raced off at a speed that made cougars on steroids look slow.

Shaking my head, I turned and watched her mother catch her with ease. "I will never understand humans." Turning to Ironhide, I cycled my vents when I saw Jazz stumbling in, leaning on Flare-up. "What the slag-" I froze and looked around, relaxing when I saw Annabelle and her mother were long gone. Everyone knew better than to curse in front of Annabelle. "-happed to you two?!"

Jazz groaned and fell face first down onto an Autobot-sized cot I had set up. It was up to Flare-up to explain it, and shooting me a dirty look, she cycled her vents shakily. "Twins. Wheeljack. Merry-go-round." Then she too, face planted into the cot, right beside the offlined Jazz, joining him in the sweet peace of oblivion.

Shaking my head, I decided to leave the two there. _**'Prime, I suggest warning the other 'bots about entertaining any notions of these rides. It seems Wheeljack had a large hand in creating all of them, and tampered with them.'**_ I sent a data burst with the current health conditions of my patients, and their warnings about the rides.

There was silence on the other end of the link, and unfortunately, I soon found out why. Screams reached my newly reactivated audio receptors, and I raced out, bringing out my weapons and keeping an optic out for Decepticons. Instead, I found more Autobots being disabled by formerly harmless human 'rides'.

I shuttered my optics and held my hand out, pointing to the direction of my temporary medbay, as Skids and Mudflap stumbled over to it, crying in relief and mumbling about evil fair rides. _We can handle anything the Decepticons throw at us, and yet one simple fair disables us with ease._ I blinked. _Maybe we should turn it into a weapon._

I found myself watching from a distance as Sam and Mikaela managed to sweet talk the minor twins into going on a ride called the 'Kamikaze' with them. How Skids and Mudflap could be _that_ stupid, I'll never know, but I soon found myself watching Sam, Mikaela, the Arcee Triplets, Bumblebee, and the minor twins getting on a ride with both human-sized and Autobot-sized seats. The Autobot seats, being the bigger, were in the back, with the human seats between their ankles, in the front. It looked similar to the drop tower with a few minor differences.

First of all, there were two long arms. The one attached to the ground, for stabilization and support, and the other was attached to the seats. As the ride began going, it slid back and forth like a pendulum, going farther and farther up each time. I could clearly see when Skids and Mudflap realized what was going on.

"NO!" Skids' voice could be heard all the way on the ground. "I don't wanna go upside down!!"

Unfortunately, he didn't have a choice. On it's next swing up, the pendulum swung them right over, upside down and back down the other side again. Sam began yelling, and clutchet at Mikaela's arm like a lifeline, while Mikaela laughed up a storm. Bumblebee chirped and whistled delightedly and wiggled in his seat, while the femmes screeched happily. The poor twins were left screaming for their lives as not only did the pendulum repeat the swing, it picked up speed.

Soon, there were multiple screams. Three of the loudest were the twins, and Sam. Everyone paused in what they were doing when a rather high pitched, unfamiliar _feminine _scream reached their audio processors. It took us all a few moments to realize this new scream was coming from Sam's mouth.

Everyone stared, and even Mikaela's wide eyes turned her boyfriend's way as yet another girlish shriek escaped his mouth. Then he realized the sounds he was making and promptly turned an unhealthy shade of red.

It was amusing and I shook my head, turning and freezing when I saw the Corvette twins standing behind me.

"What?" I snapped with a glare, not in the mood to deal with the positively evil grins I was getting.

Sideswipe held up his hands in a peaceful gesture I didn't buy for one moment. "I just wanted to let you know... Annabelle got herself stuck in one of the, uh...cotton candy makers." He winced. "The big one. She's not in any danger or anything, but she, uh...can't get out."

Frowning, I felt my spark stall, and was glad that Ironhide was offlined, or this fair would already have been a pile of smoking ash, along with any Autobot stupid enough to get in his way. "Show me where." I ordered, going into protective mode myself. I never even paid heed to the fact that Sunstreaker wasn't following, or the fact that Sideswipe shot him a meaningful look. The only thing on my mind was the numerous ways the little human sparkling could get hurt in there. "Wait, the _big_ one?"

Sideswipe shrugged. "Long story. Some of the Autobots thought the whole spinning effect of it would be cool..." He trailed off uneasily. "Actually, Hound never really explained his motivation for that one. I think it's the fact he just likes cotton candy."

Blinking for a moment, I stepped over a row of human concession stands, noting with more distaste and Sargeant Greene had a giant doughy pretzel in his hand, and an oversized soda on the table in front of him. Epps had a huge ball of what appeared to be cotton -must have been the cotton candy- on a stick, and a can of pop in front of him.

_Junk food. Primus help us._

I followed Sideswipe to a giant, enclosed room of sorts, that was currently resting open and reeking of hot sugar. I grimaced, the scent sending my senors to overload, and dimmed those sensors before stepping into the room. I could stand up straight in here, and I looked around. While the room seemed to have thick white cotton forming from the walls, there was no sign of Annabelle Lennox.

Before I could turn around, a resounding 'clang' caught my attention, and I cycled my vents tiredly, realizing what happened. _**'Prime, if you happen to hear screaming, there's no need to worry. I'm just going to offline the Corvette twins. That's all.'**_ I warned him, even as I mentally cursed myself for getting into this situation, and turned to... Yep the door was closed, and when I tried it, locked.

_**'Understood.'**_ His amusement was heavy in his voice. _**'Just make sure not to step on anyone in the process.'**_

_**'You slaggers better let me out of here.'**_ My optics were twitching, I could feel them. Not a good sign.

A sound of an engine hit me and I frowned as the walls and door began to move. Or perhaps it was the metal platform I was standing on. I really couldn't be sure. It began to heat up in the room, and I felt my optics widen in horror.

The heat melted the sugar, which would get into all my systems. While it wouldn't be fatal, it would mess with _all_ of my systems, and be quite difficult to remove. _**'Ratchet to Wheeljack. I'm in the giant cotton candy machine. Turn this slagging thing off, or you're taking over my infirmary duties for the next two weeks.'**_

The room got hotter and hotter, and the walls spun faster and faster. Soon, I had to shutter my optics, as I felt the first strands of hot sugar land on me, sticking to my body and seeping into every crack and crevice it could find, quickly followed my hundreds more.

_**'Wheeljack to Ratchet, working on it. Just stay put.'**_

_What else am I going to do? _I thought darkly, feeling the sugar already beginning to jam some of my systems. Luckily, it wasn't getting into anything vital, yet, but I could feel it sliding into joins, which would make it difficult to move. It also hardened over my optics, effectively blinding me. _Hurry up already!_

I heard the engine powering up as the room spun faster and faster, getting even hotter. Then there was a switch, and the room began slowing. _Huh. One of Wheeljack's experiments that actually worked._ I'd have to congratulate him on that later, if I ever got my vision back.

At least on the upside, as the room instantly began to cool off, it hardened the cotton candy on me, keeping it from doing anymore damage. I couldn't see, and my movements were stiff, but I was still online. That meant the twins _might_ just live to see tomorrow.

There was another click, and the sound of a door opening. Then a sharp intake of air. Abruptly, several laughs hit my somewhat clogged audio sensors.

"Oh Primus, Ratchet! You look like a giant cotton candy cone!" Sunstreaker's voice let out, him laughing loudly.

"White's a good color on him." Sideswipe added with a snicker.

"Yay! Cottoncandy!" The excited voice caused me to groan and sag, even though I dared not make a move. I could feel the faint tugging down by my ankles. "Yummy! Sogood!" Annabelle seemed to be enjoying herself immensely.

_**'Get this slag off me before I turn you lot into Ironhide's new playthings.'**_ I snarled lowly, feeling something moving by my ankles, and then someone tugging on my arm. "I can't see!" I felt my face heating up when I belatedly realized my mouth was almost sealed shut with the candy, causing my words to come out muffled. _Slagging twins!_

I stumbled along behind whomever was carrying me, praying it wasn't one of the twins. Mentally, I began calculating a fitting punishment, and debated on getting Prowl's assistance on it.

A hard shove knocked me off balance, and before I could catch myself, I was dumped face first into an icy, wet surface. My sensors ran immediate scans, and I growled when I realized I appeared to have been pushed into a massive swimming pool erected for the fairgrounds.

Even as I thrashed around and ripped the cotton candy from my body, I began swearing in Cybertronian, listening to the muffled laughter of the twins.

_They. Are. So. Dead._

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Hope you like it.

R+R please.

Thank you.

Tenshi


	19. Optimus, The Autobot Fair, Part 4

**Disclaimer** : I don't own it.

**Note** : Since I felt bad about Ratchet's chapter (I've written funnier), I've decided to post another one for all my readers. You guys are awesome!

**Wolf Mystic** - I dunno, with the metallic undertone? Hmmm... I don't think Annabelle minded much. LOL

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**(Sam's POV)**

What was next? Well, Optimus wisely, or perhaps unwisely considering our frames of mind at the moment, chose to remain near Mikaela and myself, relying on us to guide him to the lesser evil rides. Not that he was afraid, no. He just didn't want to be made a fool of.

I imagined him on the drop tower and bit back a snicker as we walked around. "Wow, the twins really _did_ outdo themselves." I murmured in awe, as we passed dozens of rides and a few games.

Watching a swan-shaped boat literally _zoom_ out of the Tunnel of Love ride, and a rather shaken looking Jazz and Flare-up, I couldn't help but snicker again, and pointed to where they got off and allowed an unsuspecting Ironhide and Chromia get on. "Check this out." I glanced quickly to see Mikaela looking where I was pointing.

Suddenly the boat took off at the speed of light, and we both broke up snickering.

"Wow, talk about love at first sight, 'cause they're not gonna even get a second look at anything in there. I got it!" Mikaela suddenly looked over at me with a wicked gleam in her beautiful blue eyes. "Optimus should try the reverse bungee!"

I felt my jaw drop in horror. I knew the ride she was talking about, and I also knew it'd probably make Megatron lubricate his, err, armor. I turned to Optimus, who regarded my look warily, and stopped walking. Then I turned back to Mikaela.

Hmm... Do this and forever be on boss 'bot's hit list, or don't do it and possibly end up on Mikaela's?

I grinned, even as my heart pounded erratcially. "I can just see it, now, too." And I could. I wondered if Autobots ever had spark attacks, or anything of the sort. And if so, was Optimus a candidate?

He would be, when this ride was over.

He'd be a prime candidate, no pun intended. Or...pun fully intended. Huh...

I couldn't even look at Optimus, I was trying so hard not to laugh. I know Bee caught my look, as he gave a slight curious whistle, but I kept my face towards the said ride, watching as it ominously remained empty. Even as I heard Mikaela addressing Optimus, and filling him in on the ride a little.

Slowly, I noticed Optimus was walking towards the ride. Still, I noticed his footsteps were heavy and reluctant.

I saw several other Autobots come over to join our little march to the ride, and it felt...odd. Like instead of heading to a scary as hell ride, Optimus was heading to his funeral. Then again, with Wheeljack making the rides...

I shook my head as we reached the ride and Optimus set us down. He then walked over to the large capsule attached to two thick cords, which in turn were attached to two really thick, really high poles. In fact, those poles were almost as high as the drop tower, and with the bungee effect, Optimus would be launched really high.

He waited momentarily as Volt, who'd finally made it out of the house of mirrors, walked over and began helping him strap into the seat inside the capsule, before closing it. We all heard Optimus sigh before hesitantly nodding to Volt.

The 'bot headed to the starter and clicked a button. The platform below the capsule hummed brightly and Optimus was suddenly shot out of sight in a loud cry. The entire audience watched a he flew higher and higher, before the bungee cords snapped, whipping him back down towards the Earth's surface at a speed that hurt my neck to attempt to follow it.

The capsule spun in the grip of the cords, causing Optimus to spin as well. We could all hear his confused and slightly panicked cries as he bounced back up towards the clouds, the platform humming even louder as the reverse magnet inside pushed the capsule as high as it could.

The cord strained and the Autobots laughed when their leader snarled something nasty in Cybertronian, aimed towards the twins. At least, that's what my guess was, considering said twins winced and took off at the speed of light with equally panicked looks.

Then, the unexpected happened.

As we all watched in horror, the cables snapped off the orb as it was launched up, and Optimus was launched right through the clouds, probably with enough force to take him into the Earth's orbit.

"Oh, frag!" Ratchet had snuck up on us, and wore a mask of undiluted horror. He was covered in bits of what looked like hardened cotton candy, and seemed to have a hard time walking, but he ignored it as he stared at the spot Optimus used to occupy.

"Oh, how I hate for you to leave, but love to watch you go." Mikaela murmured with a snorted giggle, which she quickly covered with a clearly fake cough.

"Someone better find out if he's ok." Prowl sounded funny, and his head was smoking slightly. Ratchet whacked him on the back of the head, and he shot the medibot a dark look. "What? They'd better."

I pursed my lips knowing Optimus didn't need to breathe, so he'd be ok in space, although the re-entry would probably be a pain in the ass. "This takes on a whole new meaning to 'Goodbye, cruel world'." I mumbled, staring up in the sky for any sign of the capsule.

"I'm sure the twins'll be saying that soon enough." Mikaela agreed with a nod, her own eyes fastened to the sky. "When Optimus gets back."

"Oh, trust me." Ironhide's deep grunt caught our ears, and turning, we saw him staggering over, still looking unsteady. "They'll be gone long before that." His cannons were whirrling and glowing red, even as his optics flashed and he turned, stumbling off.

Ratchet only mumbled in agreement before his saw blades appeared and he too disappeared.

**(Later at the Base)**

"So...how was re-entry?" Mikaela stared at Optimus with wide eyes.

The said 'bot was in the middle of having his blackened armor repainted by Ratchet, and he sighed. "Hot." Then he turned to Ratchet. "I suppose the reason you refuse to allow me to offline the twins is because you've already done so?" Wow, he really hoped it was, too, if his tone of voice said anything about it.

Smirking, Ratchet shook his head. "They tried to hide on the Gravitron, thinking Ironhide wouldn't go on it after his experience. They were right. He didn't." There was a low chuckle. "He turned it on maximum speed, and turned to walk off when Wheeljacks' experiment backfired." He finished painting one side of Optimus' chest.

"Again." Optimus added, with a sigh.

Mikaela sat up from where she was painting one of his arms, and I from where I was working on one of Optimus' legs did the same. "Oh, no." She groaned, grinning at the 'bots.

"Oh, yes. The ride came off it's axels and rolled away within seconds." He laughed again. "It spun so fast no Autobot had a hope of catching it. At least when humans spotted the giant ride going by, we had a valid excuse."

"Fair ride gone bad." I nodded. "Good one."

Snickering a little, Ratchet shook his head and returned to painting. "They still can't walk straight, and they've been ordered to dismantle the entire fairgrounds. Every Autobot ride and game."

"What about the concession stands and such?"

"They're being moved closer to base. Just because we can't have an Autobot fair, doesn't mean we can't have a human one. Especially considering I've decided it's much safer to attempt to get the human holoforms working."

Exchanging a look with my girfriend, I grinned. _Next time we're getting Optimus on the gravitron._

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

This chapter hints they don't have holoforms, I know.

Hope you like it.

R+R please.

Thank you.

Tenshi


	20. Barricade, Avatar Mischief, Part 2

**Disclaimer** : I don't own it. I also don't own the idea of polar bear Ratchet's holoform, that's **hummergrey**'s

**Note** : Bored Decepticon = Another avatar mischief chapter. Decepticon-centric. Inspired by **hummergrey**'s 'If an Autobot, do NOT do the following'.

http: // www. fanfiction. net /u/ 237585 / (Just take out the spaces)

**Note** : I want to thank everyone for their patience and comments. I really appreciate your best wishes (and so odes my computer -computer transforms and starts giving everyone hugs-). my computer is being worked on, but as long as the crappy farm computer works, I figured I could update my stories. :)

I also realize that it was not a virus, but the 'scan' it was telling me I needed to do _was_. I didn't actually download it. I tried, but in my panic, I had closed all active pages and already disconnected from the internet, so I think I'm good.

Thanks again, everyone. I really hope you enjoy this chapter, I loved it and it even inspired a sequel chapter (coming up a little later) with Starscream as the lead role. ;)

**P.S.** : I have been trying to flipping update for the last 3 days, but for some reason it would not convert my files. -.-' -Sighs- Ah well, I'm baaaaaacccccckkkkk!

And I saw this gorgeous yellow Corvette the other day. It was the almost spitting image of what Sunstreaker would look like, if he was in the movie, only the wrong year. Unfortunately, all I got was a distant picture of it's car butt. LOL!

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**(Normal POV)**

To say he was bored would be an understatement.

Ever since The Fallen had been defeated by the resurrected last living Prime, Optimus, Megatron had fallen back. He'd, as the humans would say, fallen off the face of the Earth, it seemed. _Humans are such pathetic, odd creatures._ He found himself thinking, grimacing as the saying ran through his processors. _How can someone _fall_ off the face of the planet?_

Shaking his head mentally, he kept an eye out on the road, silently cycling his vents and forcing his holoform to shift a little, as a human would do. There had been no sign of Megatron's reappearance, and his last orders had been to attend to damages sustained in battle, and staying under cover for the time being. That's what he was doing, not that he was _acting_ much like a police officer of the Earth laws.

Watching a swerving silver Corvette racing down the street, followed by a yellow search and rescue Hummer H2 that somehow managed to _drive_ angry, he silently rolled back on his wheels, pausing when the window of the Corvette rolled down to reveal a caveman behind the wheel.

"It's so easy, even a caveman can do it!" He called out, driving off with a surprisingly evil cackle.

Blinking a moment, he smirked as he watched the window of the Hummer roll down, and a growling polar bear was seen in the driver's seat, waving an angry paw at the Corvette that ducked into heavier traffic.

_That actually looks like fun._

He silently sat back and watched as many human vehicles swerved, some pulling cameras and phones out of practically nowhere in order to get pictures of the odd scene in front of them. Some were looking shocked, and one man took a long look at a large coffee cup he held, before dumping the remaining coffee out of it, and driving off.

With a low smirk, he began searching the worldwide web for images he could use. He searched their laws of physics, and some rather odd tales about strange creature sightings, his smirk growing larger and larger as he went. Then he activated his altered holoform and lights and took off after a speeder. Luckily, he tinted his windows, so no one could see what was inside the large car.

The person was seen sagging in their seat as the red Honda Civic slowly pulled over, and the window to the driver's side pulled down. Without even getting out of the 'car', he rolled up next to the car and rolled his own down, enjoying the way the human's eyes widened comically.

"Are you aware you were doing 75 in a 50 zone?" He asked, all business-like.

"Are you aware you're the freakin' Loch-Ness Monster??" The driver blurted out, his jaw dropping.

A long, green tail slid into the front seat, slithering around the headrest and the tip waving at the unhealthily pale human across from him. "So I've been told." Grabbing a notepad in his flippers, he managed to scribble out a ticket for more than was really necessary, and used his tail to easily hand it to the driver, who still looked shocked. "You take care now." With a smirk of his sort of dragonic face, he nodded, pulled his tail back, rolled up his window and drove away.

Still, he kept his audio sensors tuned to the car as he pulled behind a sign post.

It wasn't long before a phone was heard dialing.

"Holy hell, Will! I just got pulled over by the freaking Loch-Ness monster!! What? No, I didn't snort anything! I didn't smoke or drink anything, either! Seriously!!!! It was a cruiser with a giant...giant... A giant _thing_ inside it!!" There was silence for a moment. "No, it was _black_ and white, not blue... No, it didn't have that written on the side of-What? Well, excuse me! It's not every freaking day a giant lizard pulls you over, you know!"

Tuning him out, he stealthily sat back, chuckling to himself as he decided to play a little more with this human. He changed the coloring of his alternate form and watched as the guy seemed to nervously drive off, this time at a normal pace. Realizing a cop car was too conspicuous, he changed his form all together into a regular dark blue mustang, with tinted windows, and changed his holoform to match.

_If the Auto-scum's medibot ever found out I stole this idea from him, I'd scrap myself._ With a smirk, he drove off after the man, pulling up behind him at a red light and rolling down his window. _The human never did roll his window up._ "Excuse me." He altered his voice a little, and watched as the human looked over, then did a double take. "I was wondering if you had directions to the nearest beach?" He smiled as pleasantly as he could. "I'm new here and I'm a little lost."

A low sound escaped the shocked man's throat.

"I'm getting a little dried out." He hinted a little, struggling not to shake on his axles with his muffled laughter. "I really could use a drink."

With a small choke, the human pointed off towards a direction, before speeding off as the light changed.

"What?" Looking out his opposite window, he grinned at a woman turning the corner, who almost lost control of her car when she saw him. Feeling the slightest scrape on his bumper, he lost his grin and glared. "Watch it!" Waving a blue flipper, he balled it up into a fist, and snickered as the girl squealed and took off. He looked into his rear view mirror, and smirked as he saw the face of a giant dolphin staring back at him.

_**'Starscream to Barricade, what the slag are you doing?!'**_

Rolling his optics, Barricade cycled his vents and 'drove' off, keeping the dolphin holographic form in place as he went and watching as several people swerved, or spewed their drinks all over themselves. _**'Relax, Starscream. I am not causing any trouble.'**_

_**'Then why am I already hearing reports of a black and white police cruiser with a.... 'Loch-Ness monster' driving it?'**_

Raising an optic ridge, he pulled over behind a building and changed back into his regular form. _**'That was one flesh bag.'**_ He grumped. _**'One. And he doesn't know what I am.'**_

There was silence for a moment, before a snicker reached his audio sensors. Then he felt Starscream's presence and looked up, startling when a jet flew upside down over his head and he saw there was a giant.... He had to scan the worldwide web for this one... A giant strawberry sat inside, waving at him.

Blinking for a moment, Barricade smirked and chuckled. _**'I always knew you were a little fruity.'**_ He changed his alternate form again. This time he chose a rather famous character, his body growing larger than it should have been, sprouting hair all over, with elongated ears and bulging eyes. He then plastered the 'cutest' look he could on his face and started his engine, pulling into traffic with his tinted windows rolled up.

He remained half listening in on Starscream's channel, as the seeker found every human aircraft he could, and flew by in _just_ such a manner, they saw his ridiculous form.

"Oh my God, you should see this pilot! He's a fruit!" One guy yelled.

"Well, yeah, he's probably a little unbalanced. Just be careful, you don't know what he's capable of."

"No, sir. I mean, he's a _fruit_! He's a giant fricken strawberry!"

There was silence on the other end of the line.

A snicker escaped Barricade, even as Starscream rolled in the air from laughing so much. Then he found himself a speeder on the edge of town, rapidly exiting said town. Seeing who it was, his snickers grew and he couldn't blame the poor man for trying so hard to get away, but... Switching on his sirens, he watched as the man glanced in the side mirror and visibly paled.

Still, perhaps it was morbid curiosity, but the human pulled over. As they were the only ones on the street, Barricade clumsily climbed out of the seat and hobbled forward, cursing mentally as he realized the form he chose wasn't very maneuverable He steadily ignored Starscream's roaring laughter overhead.

"This is the second time I've had to pull you over today, and you ran a red light earlier, sir. I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to step out of the car." Part of him wanted to cringe at how high and 'cute' the voice came out, even as the human stared at him with such wide eyes... _How haven't they fallen out of their sockets, yet?_ "Now, please." Tilting his head to the side, he scratched one massive ear.

Slowly nodding, the fleshling turned off his car and stepped out, before turning his back to the car as Barricade walked over, did the standard pat down, and handcuffed him. "I'm going to be taking you in, do you understand? An officer at the precinct will read you your rights."

The ride was uneventful. It seemed the human didn't know what to say. He just kept staring, his mouth slightly agape. As they approached the precinct, however, he gasped at the sight before him.

William Lennox was standing next to a yellow Corvette, chatting with an officer.

Pulling to a stop, Barricade allowed the door to open of it's own accord and the handcuffs to dissolve into thin air, even as he spun in his seat and audibly _growled_ at the human in the back. _I'm not to take on the Autobot scum._ He reminded himself, as he narrowed his oversized eyes at the man in the back. "Get out. Now."

Not having to be told twice, the man let out a rather girlish scream and raced out of the car.

"Will! Oh my God, Will! You'll never believe it! I was arrested by a mogwai!!"

Shaking on his axles, Barricade's alternate form returned to normal, he shut his own back door and slowly pulled away, not wanting to draw more attention to himself.

"Yeah, _Gremlins!_ I was abducted by a freakin' _Gremlin!!!!!!_"

Barricade sped off, his laughter becoming too much at the sight of the other fleshbags' faces, and the suspicious rev of the engine of the Corvette next to them. _That was more fun than I've had in a while. I'll have to do it again, sometime._ He thought, already choosing to find and pick on that nameless man again.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**Note** : I do not have an actual identity for the 'nameless man' or a relationship to Will, so you can make of it what you will.

Hope you like it.

R+R please.

Thank you.

Tenshi


	21. Jazz, Wedding Bells

**Disclaimer** : I don't own it.

**Note** : This was inspired by a chapter in **hummergrey**'s 'If an Autobot, do NOT do the following'.

**NOTE** : I've had a couple people mention I could turn the femme mini-series into a separate fanfiction, as well as the fair mini-series. What do you guys think? I'd have to take the chapters out of 'Autobot Pranks' and make them into their own stories.

**Wolf Mystic** - LOL and there's more to come.

**....** - Well, I'm considering it. I do have one more little femme Autobot chapter coming up (Bumblebee anyone?)

**Starfire201 - **LOL The next chapter is even more twisted. The next Decepticon chapter, that is. ;) LOL, Thank you.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**(Normal POV)**

Optimus was walking down the hall, carrying a tiny velvet box in his hands, while watching it curiously, as if afraid it would get up and attack him. He kept an optic out for humans crossing in front of him, however, and that's why he was able to spot something unusual.

Bumblebee was carrying Sam down the hall, coming from hangar 3.

While the act itself was far from unusual, it was the looks on their faces that inspired the boss 'bot to take a picture. Bumblebee's optics were wide and bright, and his mouth tucked in a firm line. Just seeing the expression, you didn't know whether he was disturbed or amused. The funny thing was, Sam's expression mirrored it almost exactly, probably without either of their knowing.

"Bumblebee." Optimus nodded at the two as they paused in their walk. "Sam. I received a request from Jazz to bring this-" He gestured to the box in his hand. "-to the hangar. Is something happening? I also got a call from the new liaison, and they didn't sound happy. All I got was something about a travesty and the Autobots mocking him..." Trailing off, Optimus turned confused optics on the two.

"Autobot and human relations." Sam hiccuped suspiciously and slapped both his hands over his face. His shoulders trembled, and strange sounds seemed to echo forth from the tiny human.

Bumblebee gave off a metallic snort. _**'A prank, Prime. Just go check it out.'**_ The amusement was thick over the line, and Bee chirped a little before shaking his head and wandering off. _**'Oh, yes, and follow along. This promises to be good.'**_ With a wink over his shoulder, Bumblebee turned down another corridor, that led to stairs up to the second floor of the main hangar.

Frowning a little, Optimus hesitated only for a second before continuing on. He paused, however, when he noticed several human femmes running around in gowns, with fancy hairdos and make-up. Even some of the army men were walking around in fancy dress of their own.

_What's going on?_

Walking down the hall, he carefully stepped over the rushing humans, noting how most of them were running _towards_ the same hangar as he. He stepped into the doorway and paused. Blinking his optics several times, he wondered if his logistics routines finally offlined themselves after all this time, or, as humans would put it, if he'd finally lost his mind.

There was a long isle of flower petals, appearing to be rose. Either side of the isle was lined with saluting Autobots, most of which appeared to be fighting back smirks. Then there were the humans on their shoulders, some carrying bugles, and some throwing fresh flower petals across the isle.

What really caught his attention, however, was Jazz. The silver saboteur was standing at the end of the isle, with an odd-looking Ratchet holding a tiny bible in his hands. Taking a good look at the medibot, Optimus was sure the poor mech would need a couple barrels of energon after whatever this was. However, Jazz quickly caught his attention, waving a claw in his direction.

The Autobot leader stubbornly refused to acknowledge the black magnetic bow tie around the Autobot's neck, or the white tarps used as robes on Ratchet.

Blinking, he slowly began down the isle, only to freeze when the bugelists began to play and people began to cheer.

"There you are!" The liaison, a balding, older man, ran up with a bright red face and glared up at the massive leader. "You can finally put an end to this travesty! All I did was ask about what was keeping you Autobots loyal to us humans, and suddenly they're-" He pointed to Jazz, who hid a snicker behind a claw. "-proposing to the girls! They claim they're in love-" He shook his head. "This isn't funny."

_**'On the contrary.'**_ Ratchet's optic twitched, and he seemed to vibrate where he stood. _**'This is fragging hilarious! Hurry up with the ring!'**_

Realizing what was going on, Optimus felt his own optics widen. Everything suddenly made sense. But wait, no, not _everything._ If this was a prank, why were Bumblebee and Sam heading _away _from here? From what he could see, this was a wedding. From the groom, Jazz, to the minister, Ratchet.

He felt momentarily torn. While it wasn't right to pull this, he never _did_ like the newest liaison, who was always only ever thinking about their weapon power, and how he could get richer, faster.

Biting back a smirk, Optimus began forward again, ignoring as the bugelists followed his purposely slow travel down the isle. _**'Who's the bride? Arcee?'**_

_**'Nope.'**_ Jazz smirked, before folding his claws over his chest.

Raising an optic ridge, Optimus passed Ironhide, who looked to be trying very hard not to laugh. Will was on his shoulder, dressed in formal military garb, saluting and wearing a massive grin on his face. _**'Chromia?'**_

_**'Not suicidal, boss.'**_ A snicker was heard coming down the isle.

Now Optimus frowned. _**'It's Flare-up, then.'**_

_**'Nope.'**_ This time Jazz popped the 'p' in it, and shook his head for emphasis.

_Oh._ Optimus realized exactly _why_ this was such a travesty in the liaison's eyes. He'd thought the man meant the femme Autobots, but perhaps he was wrong. Even as he thought this, he reached the end of the isle and was directed to stand behind Jazz.

"You're ma best man." The saboteur hissed with a chuckle.

Looking up the term, Optimus bit the inside of his metallic cheek to keep from laughing, even though a small part of him was touched. "I'm honored." He answered as seriously as he could, vaguely noting that the liaison was staring at him in horror.

Then, in walked Prowl, and several people looked worried.

_**'Oh, Primus! No one told him about the prank!'**_ Ratchet's optics widened, but he remained silent, staring ahead of him as his fingers tentatively grasped at the edges of the tiny bible in his hands.

Letting his battle mask slide into place, Optimus noted as Volt pulled Prowl aside, out of the way. A moment later, and a formal march picked up. The door, which had shut behind the second in command, swished open to reveal a sight.

Mikaela stood at the end of the isle, smiling with tears trailing down her cheeks. She wore an elegant white gown, along with a long white train, and held a bouquet of white and pink roses in her hands. On her arm was Ron Witwicky, looking for all the world like he was, as the humans would say, splitting at the seams. He led her slowly down the isle, and Optimus watched closely as the 'bride' ducked her head behind her bouquet on more than one occasion, as a bubble of laughter escaped her.

The liaison had to take a second look when he saw her walking down the isle, and he frowned, but remained quiet. Prowl watched the whole thing in confusion.

Suddenly, Sam's odd look and departure made a lot of sense. Mikaela was...hopefully, _pretending_ to marry Jazz.

Blinking his optics, Optimus watched as Ron handed Mikaela off to Jazz, who lifted her up onto his shoulder.

"Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to join this mech, and this femme in holy matrimony." Ratchet's voice came out steady and calm, but inside he was dying of laughter. It was leaking over the link. "If anyone here objects to this marriage, let them speak now, or forever hold their peace."

"You're damn right I object!" The liaison screamed, only to duck down when one of Ironhide's cannons came out, whirring as it pointed right at the liaison "On second thought... No. Go right ahead." The man ducked down, shaking his head.

"Do you, Jazz, take Mikaela to be your lawfully wedded sparkmate? To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, until offlining do you apart?"

Jazz turned dripping optics to Mikaela and smiled. "I do." He seemed to vibrate almost invisibly, and Mikaela bubbled more giggles into her bouquet, fresh tears running down her cheeks.

Ratchet shook for a moment, but then steadied himself. "And do you, Mikaela Banes, take Jazz to be your lawfully wedded sparkmate? To have and to hold, in sickness and in health, until offlining-"

**CRASH!!**

Everyone spun and stared in shock as a blood curdling scream echoed through the room. What they found finally sent most of their controlled expressions shattering, and they doubled over with laughter.

"Speaking of offlining." Will muttered with a chuckle.

Prowl had offlined. Apparently the wedding triggered the glitch in his subroutines, and he fell over onto his face.

Directly on top of the liaison

Mechs rushed over, pulling the offlined mech off the pitiful human, only to laugh when they found the liaison fine, cowering in a tiny ball and safe in an indented area, where Prowl's armor hadn't hit the ground. Once the larger mech was off him, another blood curdling scream issued forth from the elder man's mouth, and he ducked out of the room faster than anyone could blink.

"THAT WAS FRAGGING PRICELESS!" Sunstreaker and Sideswipe slapped high fives and laughed hard.

Mikaela wasn't doing much better, clutching to a shaking Jazz to keep from falling off his shoulder.

Shaking his head, Optimus chuckled and went to take a step down. When a hand on his arm stopped him, he turned curious optics on the little yellow scout behind him, who seemed to appear out of nowhere.

"Ah, the real groom is finally here." Ratchet smiled a little, after helping the newly revived Prowl up and explaining the prank briefly. "The real wedding can begin."

"Optimus..." Sam looked up at him. The young human boy was now dressed in a black tuxedo, with a white rose on his lapel. He seemed to positively glow, with the expression on his face. "The wedding earlier was the prank, but seeing as how you're already here." He smiled. "Mikaela has something she wants to ask you."

Looking to the small human femme Jazz was lifting off his shoulder, Optimus tilted his head a little.

"We really are getting married." Mikaela started, taking Sam's hand and crawling into Bee's palm. "And I'd be honored if you'd be the one to give me away."

"I do not understand."

Ratchet nodded. "I didn't expect you would. It is a human tradition, that when a femme and mech... Uh, boy and girl, get married, the father of the bride is normally the one to 'give her away' so to speak. It is a truly honorable position. As I understand it, Arcee has already agreed to be Mikaela's maid of honor, and Bumblebee, Sam's best man."

He looked up the terms, and blinked. He couldn't fight the proud smile when he realized what all of this meant, and nodded slowly to Mikaela, his battle mask sliding away again. "I would be honored." Holding his hand out, he allowed Mikaela to get on his palm, and then walked to the door. They would do everything over again, properly this time.

And the Autobots would get to experience their first ever human marriage.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**Note** : Ok, so it started as a prank, and ended as a sweet moment. :) Not necessarily going to be related to future chapters, so if I mention 'boyfriend' and 'girlfriend' again...

Hope you like it.

R+R please.

Thank you.

Tenshi


	22. OP, Braving the Dreaded Rides Again

**Disclaimer** : I don't own it.

**Note** : Not one of my best, but here's Optimus...getting it again. LOL. Also, I have to inform everyone.... I just lost the game -.-'

*Watches Bumblebee race past, holding a huge bag of sugar and singing the chorus to 'Gimme More' by Britney spears, being chased by **Darklight8121*** .....Awwww...Bee...*Dies of cuteness overload*

**Wolf Mystic** - LOL I've heard that before. I know, Prowl's going to lose it one day soon...completely.

**Warrior Queen 21** - Thank you. :) Here's the next chapter.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**(Normal POV)**

Sneaking out of his quarters, the large mech stalked as silently as a giant metal being could, while walking along linoleum floors. Slipping along, he wandered through hallways, pausing when he heard a sound. Looking around the corner, his optics narrowed as he took in Sunstreaker and Sideswipe creeping along equally as quietly, towards the main hangar.

_Now what are those two up to?_ Frowning, Optimus felt his optics narrow. _**'Optimus to Prowl, come in.'**_

There was a second's silence before the slightly groggy response from Prowl returned. _**'Prowl here, sir. What's the emergency?'**_

Raising an optic ridge, Optimus transformed and kept his engine as quiet as possible as he snuck after the twins, keeping to the shadows as he followed them right off the base. _**'It seems reports were right. Sunstreaker and Sideswipe have been sneaking off base in the middle of the night. I'm in pursuit at the moment, requesting you join me.'**_

_**'Understood, sir. I'll be there momentarily.'**_

_**'Understood. Oh, and Prowl? Let's remain quiet. I want to see what they've been up to.'**_ With a narrowing of his optics, Optimus rolled after the twins, pausing at crucial moments, and wishing he'd had more spy training. _I'm getting too old for this._ He thought, rounding a corner and turning off his engine quickly, as a half asleep soldier stumbled along the darkened hallways towards the men's bathroom.

"Ugh. Damn Autobots and their lite-brite eyes, lucky scrappers." He muttered, scrubbing at his own eyes, before turning to walk into the bathroom. **Bang!** "Ow. Who the hell put that wall there?" Rubbing his face, the young man stumbled a step to the left and almost fell through the door.

Optimus' engine was almost stuttering with his laughter, as he silently sat there a moment. Then, half transforming, he turned his back end into his legs and began creeping along the hall.

Hey, it was quieter than driving, and he was just going to transform _right_ back anyways.

Sam stepped out of his room, and he and Optimus both froze. Shaking his head, the boy rubbed at his eyes. "Man, these dreams have _got_ to stop! Semis, with legs?" He laughed a little and stalked into the bathroom, leaving Optimus to make a mad dash down the hall before his cover was seriously blown. Imagine that, a semi cab with legs, running down the hall as quietly as possible. By the time he was outside, Prowl was there, and they had to take off pretty quickly to keep the twins in their sights.

He was just lucky he transformed back before Prowl saw him.

_**'Is it me, or are they...heading towards the former 'Autobot Fair'?'**_

Optimus sighed. _**'How much do you want to bet, they didn't dismantle everything, like they were told?'**_

With a slight bounce on his axels, Prowl cycled his vents. _**'They did have a point. This 'Fair' would make an excellent weapon against the Decepticons. If only **_**we**_** could survive it.**_**'**

Thinking to himself, Optimus smirked a little and transformed as they neared the fair, which, as they'd predicted _hadn't_ been taken down like ordered. The rides were running, and the thrilled voices of the twins...and a few surprise guests flew through the air.

"Is that...the Arcee triplets? And Skids, and Mudflap?" Seeing a little yellow 'bot run around, Prowl shuttered his optics. "_And_ Bumblebee??"

With a slight laugh, Optimus shook his head. "It makes sense. The younglings enjoyed the fair a great deal. Perhaps I was hasty." He walked forward. "After all, this would be an excellent way to boost morale, and it isn't actually damaging to our units." His optics narrowed. "_When_ the rides work as they should."

They watched as everyone froze upon seeing them, but Optimus held up his hands in a sign of peace. "We were wondering where the Corvette twins were disappearing off to late at night. Imagine our surprise to find they aren't the only ones." Sending Bumblebee a pointed look, Optimus raised an optic ridge. "Although _you_ should know better. I don't mind you sneaking off to have fun, but you have a charge to look after, and you can't do that if you don't recharge properly."

Bumblebee's head hung low, a little.

He watched as Skids and Mudflap watched him from their spots on the open gravitron.

"I suppose that was my fault, however. I can see this is fun for you." He looked at his troops, who were standing before him with their heads down. "Have at it, Autobots." When their heads shot up, he chuckled. "It's a good thing Wheeljack found the fault in the ride, and that there were no others. The rides should be fairly safe. _But_, you are not to come running to me, if you get damaged and Ratchet becomes upset."

Prowl raised an optic ridge and crossed his arms over his chest. _**'Are you sure this is a good idea?'**_

_**'Can't you remember being their age? We've been at war for so long, this is a chance for them to sit back and enjoy their youth. Yes, I am certain this is a wise idea. They deserve a chance to relax and act their age.'**_ He grinned as the Arcee triples whooped and joined the twins on the gravitron, and Bumblebee wisely chose to remain on the ground.

Sideswipe high fived his brother, before turning to the two eldest 'bots. "So, you guys gonna give the rides a shot?"

Blinking a moment, Optimus hesitated.

_**'It's a morale booster.'**_ Prowl's smirk could be _heard_.

Frowning at his second in command, Optimus turned to the others and nodded before climbing onto the gravitron. He took in the others, and copied what they were doing, before holding on tightly as the ride closed up and began to spin. _I'm going to regret this._ He thought, hearing the younglings whoop, and feeling a sense of utter dread run through him.

As the ride picked up pace, he was suddenly hit with the image of Ironhide on this ride, and quickly latched on to the handle bars on either side of himself, shuttering his optics when everything spun too fast for even his advanced eyesight to keep up with. He could feel the force of the gravity slamming him into the mat behind his back, pinning him in place, even as the ride picked up in speed, increasing the pressure all over his body. Scans showed he was still safe, even as he felt himself starting to get nauseous.

However, as Prime, he stubbornly refused to ask them to stop the ride. Ironhide had survived the full time, and so would he.

Finally, after what seemed like forever, the ride began to slow. Opening his optics, Optimus blinked when he saw multiple versions of everyone. "Ohhhh." He groaned, shaking his head a little as he felt the ride stop. Unfortunately, though the ride stopped, it still felt like the ground was moving. Undoing his safety belt, Optimus stumbled forward, before turning to his left. He saw three Chromias in front of him, and tried to carefully push past their excited frames as they waited for the others.

Unfortunately, the Chromias he tried to dodge weren't real, and the lack of the expected contact threw him off balance. Confused? He was, too, even as he stumbled to the side, and right into the real Chromia, the two of them going over in a big heap.

"Oof!" Chromia ended up stuck under the all but dead weight of her boss, and rolled her optics at her laughing sister. "Listen, Prime..." She shoved his arm and struggled to pull herself out from under him. "This is all...good...and...but I'm with Ironhide." She pulled harder. Glaring at her sisters, she growled. "A little help?"

"Oops, sorry. My bad." With a groan, Optimus rolled over and promptly offlined himself.

_I'm never doing that again._

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**Note** : This was for those who wanted to see Optimus getting on the gravitron. Not one of my favorites. My favorite part was the half asleep humans ;) And no, Prowl isn't stupid enough to try any of these rides after what the others went through. LOL

Hope you like it.

R+R please.

Thank you.

Tenshi


	23. Starscrem, Peanut Butter Jelly Time

**Disclaimer** : I don't own it.

**Note** : Look up the video 'Peanut butter Jelly time' on youtube. There's one that's a dancing banana, holding maracas. ;) You'll see what I'm going for.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**(Normal POV)**

Snickering to himself, Starscream played back the recorded video of the time he decided to take a page from Barricade's book. He'd thought the idea odd, but the reactions from the fleshlings had been beyond hilarious and very much worth it. So worth it, he was fully intending to play a little more.

**Flashback**

Shifting his shape, he flew through the clouds. He listened to the cell phone call of the nameless man, who appeared to know the Captain William Lennox fleshling that the Autobot scum was allies with.

_A law enforcement cruiser... Black and white... With a... 'Lock-ness monster' inside?_

He'd known right away that it had to be Cybertronian, as the fleshlings' technology was not nearly advanced enough to pull off something like that. He'd also known it wasn't the scumbag, Prowl, as he was far too uptight to ever willingly pull something like that.

A simple message to Barricade only confirmed his thoughts.

Being bored himself, he found it amusing and searched the internet databanks for unusual forms to take, himself. He transformed his human holoform within the cockpit of his alternate body and flew over the cruiser's head, upside down, so the soldier could see him.

_**'I always knew you were a little fruity.'**_ Was the chuckled response he got.

Shaking a little in laughter, he spiralled up, catching a good updraft, and flew among the clouds, searching out human fliers. It didn't take him long, and he cut directly in front of one, banking on just the right angle so the pilot inside could get a clear view.

"What the hell?!" He'd hacked into their communications systems. The pilot within the primitive aircraft did a quick double take. "Holy Mary, mother of God! Raven, you gotta see this!"

Starscream spiralled away, disappearing from in front of the aircraft, before pulling up behind a second one, not too far away, flying overhead, and turning upside down.

"Oh my God!" This was another male pilot. "Raven to air control. You wouldn't believe... You should see this pilot!" The man blinked a moment, checking his systems, shaking his head, and then looking again. "He's a fruit!"

Biting back his laughs, Starscream smiled at the pilot and waved merrily.

"I've heard the reports. I'm sure he sounds a little unstable, you should be careful. We don't know what he's capable of." Came the reply, almost sounding concerned over the frequency.

"No... Sir, I mean, he's a _fruit_! He's a giant fricken strawberry!"

Silence echoed over the line for a very long moment.

**End Flashback**

He'd had a lot of fun with that one, but his searches over the internet found other material as well. In fact, there was this one form... It was a struggle for his real body to take on this form. Luckily, he didn't try the real thing, just a 'suit' over his real body. He materialized 'maracas' in his hands as he backed up the memory file, and flew through the air with the greatest of ease.

With a smirk across his metallic face plates, Starscream mentally congratulated himself for thinking to find the identity of the pilots from the other day. He'd found out they were going for something called a psych evaluation, but had both passed, and were currently on duty, patrolling the skies above Tranquility.

It didn't take him long to find them.

They were flying lazily about, keeping an eye out on the sky around them as if expecting him.

_Well, let's not disappoint, shall we._ He thought evilly, as he flew up from behind them in his bipedal form, complete with 'suit' and 'maracas'. flying overhead, he began blasting music from his speakers, and it took everything he had not to laugh as he began to dance back and forth.

_**It's peanut butter jelly time!**_

The pilot started in the cockpit, the aircraft jerking a little in surprise. Looking up, his jaw dropped. "Oh, come on! You gotta be kidding me!!"

"Wolverine to Raven, what's-Oh. My. God." There was a choking sound on the other end of the line. "Is that.... Tell me that's not...."

"A giant dancing...robot, I think, wearing a banana suit? Uh... Well... Either we're hallucinating, or...."

_**It's peanut butter jelly time, **_

_**peanut butter jelly time, **_

_**peanut butter jelly time, **_

_**peanut butter jelly time.**_

They both blinked, too fascinated in watching the giant dancing robotic banana above them to pay the proper attention to their instruments.

Shaking maracas, Starscream danced back and forth, laughing hysterically inside, all the while blasting the music from his speakers. _Oh, yeah, this is so worth it._ He watched, fully aware their systems were screaming at them, but noting neither of them seemed to notice as they watched him dancing with what looked like horrified curiosity in their eyes.

"Ground control to Raven, come in Raven!"

Blinking a moment, the pilot look down, took in his sensors, and cursed, pulling up just before his jet could hit the side of a building. _Damn it! I didn't even notice I was drifting downwards! _"Raven here, what's going on?"

"Everything okay out there?"

The pilot hesitated, sharing a look with his comrade. He knew if he spoke the truth, they'd recall them both and probably lock them in the loony bin. "Uh, yeah. Sure."

_**Break it down now!**_

_**Peanut butter jelly**_

_**Peanut butter jelly**_

_**Peanut butter jelly and a baseball bat!**_

_**Peanut butter jelly**_

_**Peanut butter jelly**_

_**Peanut butter jelly and a baseball bat!**_

"What in...God's name was that?"

"Uhm..." Raven shrugged at Wolverine, who took over for him.

"Well sir, that giant strawberry from the other day? He...seems to have a friend. We're both currently...dealing with a giant...robot wearing a banana suit, holding maracas, and singing the peanut butter jelly time."

There was laughter over the link. Hysterical laughter, and they knew it was coming from ground control. "This is no time for jokes, soldier."

"I'm not kidding-RAVEN! LOOK OUT!"

Having grown tired of their speaking, and all the dancing around, Starscream pointed one of the maracas at the other jet and let lose a red beam. Immediately, the second jet was taken out, and the Decepticon flew away snickering to himself.

"Ground control to Wolverine, come in Wolverine! ...Wolverine, please respond! Whats going on??"

"Raven was just...taken out by a giant dancing banana." In shock, Wolverine never saw the building until his plane crashed into the side of it.

Meanwhile...

Down on the ground, Barricade was watching the whole thing through Starscream's open link, and laughed. _Giant dancing banana. Good one._ He reluctantly admitted, driving away as the burning remains of two human aircrafts fell to the ground, and he sensed more than one Autobot signature approaching.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**Note** : Ok, so it had a more morbid ending, but I figure Decepticons are supposed to seem (I said _seem_ not _be_) ruthless, so...

Hope you like it.

R+R please.

Thank you.

Tenshi


	24. Prowl, Throw the Police

**Disclaimer** : I don't own it.

**Note** : Check out the video 'THROW THE POLICE' on youtube for exactly the idea I'm going for. ;) And yes, the title is all in capitals.

I swear to God I'll never be able to look at Starscream, bananas and that video the same, ever again. XD I still say my favorite part of the Decepticon ones was Sideswipe driving past looking like a caveman, yelling 'It's so easy, even a caveman can do it!' *chokes on laughter*

**Wolf Mystic** - I love seeing any of them getting the short end of the stick. LOL I know, I was told by a few people it was unexpected and not a very nice ending. I didn't think much of it myself, I figured it was something a Decepticon would do. No more character (even nameless and OC) deaths though. :)

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**(Normal POV)**

"Prowl's doing _what??_" Sideswipe's optics went wide as he stared at his smirking brother. "Is he insane, or just bored?"

"A little of column A, a little of column B." Sunstreaker's smirk grew. "But you know what this means, right? He's not using a _holographic_ horse, either." Shaking his head, he shrugged. "Not my fault his holographic image projectors were damaged in the last attack, and he can only take human form."

_Not using a holographic horse?_ One silver optic ridge rose slowly. Realizing Sunny was scheming, Sides' optics narrowed suspiciously and he leaned in closer, thankful they were out of audio receptor range for the time being. "What's the plan?"

Sunstreaker nodded. "Ok, so Prowl's heading out tomorrow, playing a role as a human cop on horseback. One of the other Autobots was to pretend to be the horse for him, though. So I was thinking...we need to get in on this."

Thinking for a solid moment, Sideswipe nodded. One person would have to hold the reins for Prowl as another helped boost him up. "Alright. I'll be the one holding the reins." At the indignant glare he got, he rolled his optics. "Sunstreaker, can you honestly say on any other occasion you'd _volunteer_ to be the horse?"

"Primus, no!"

"Right. And if I'm the human, Prowl'll believe me if I tell him you were assigned duties elsewhere, right?" Sunstreaker's protests died down a little. "And you would be there to not only witness the prank, but to actually take part in it, too."

"....I'll do it!"

With a smirk, the twins began plotting, and then quickly disappeared. Sunny spent the day searching the worldwide web for nearby ranches and online videos of horses to gather as much information as he could, chosing to store it in his temporary memory files. Sideswipe went straight to Optimus, volunteering to be the 'horse handler'.

Of course boss 'bot was suspicious, but when Sides brought up the same argument, about how Sunstreaker would never _willingly_ change into a horse, the giant blue and red mech nodded slowly. He still seemed reluctant, but he allowed Sideswipe's help.

However, he also vowed to follow them, determined to find out exactly _why_ _Sideswipe_ had been the one to volunteer to _help Prowl._

**(The next Day)**

Sideswipe was standing, plucking at his police uniform uncomfortably. He looked down at himself and shrugged, before turning to Prowl. "You know, the difference between us is.. I make this look good." With a smirk, he waited patiently, ignoring the bored and suspicious glare Prowl gave him. Then he almost choked when he saw a tan horse making its way over to them.

The horse seemed normal enough, when you didn't know what to look for. For those that knew Sunstreaker well, however, there were a few tell tale signs. For one, the horse was glaring with a look that shouted rabid beast. Another was the way he _pranced_ over, head held high.

_Cocky, vain glitch._ Sideswipe smirked, as the horse trotted over, and he grabbed the reins.

Then they all froze.

Sure, Prowl could climb up easily enough on the high horse, but there were a lot of humans around, and searching the web, they all knew people usually needed help. Especially when the horse was bareback.

"Maybe we should get one of the hu-bystanders to give you a hand?" Sideswipe led the horse over to the side of a bridge, making sure it was right out of the way, almost against the railing. Looking down at the water below, he exchanged an evil look with the horse as a new idea hit him. _**'Ever seen the video 'Throw the Police'?'**_

The horse whinnied, a choked sound, even as the head fell down and it's mane covered one blue eye.

"Excuse me." Prowl wasn't even looking at them. Stopping a young man, he seemed to sigh. "I was wondering if you could give me a hand." He explained the help he needed, while walking towards the horse with the human in tow.

With a nod, the young man stood by the side of the horse, linked his hands together, and crouched a little.

Placing his foot in the human's hands, Prowl boosted himself up, grasping the back of the horse in front of him. He almost lost his grip, however, and one hand slid down over the horses rump.

_**'Hey!'**_ The horse whinnied in protest, even as Sunstreaker growled over the internal twins' private channels. _**'Watch your hands!'**_ He didn't even realize Prowl was leaning over him, as he quickly stepped forward and away, closer to the bridge rail.

Unfortunately, or fortunately, depending on who you asked, the human decided to boost Prowl at that very moment. The human holoform didn't even have a chance to realize what was happening, before he was sliding up and right over the horse, rolling over the railing on the other side of it, and crying out as he fell into the water below the bridge.

The human cried out as well, and carefully maneuvred around the horse to look over the railing. At the same time Sideswipe let go of Sunstreaker's 'reins' and joined him.

"Damn, nice swan dive!" He whistled, impressed, and ignored the look the human was giving him.

"He just fell over the edge! I swear I didn't mean to-Aren't you going to help him?!"

"Nah." This came from the other side of the man. "He's good."

Looking over slowly, the man did a double take. Then he shrieked like a little girl, turned, and ran.

Leaning over the railing, Sideswipe looked over. He blinked a moment, before busting up laughing. There, beside him was Sunstreaker, still in horse form, leaning over the railing with his front hooves braced against the edge.

"I give him a 5.5 on the landing though. If he'd have been human, that would've hurt." The horse spoke easily, raising a hoof in a shrug.

Doubling over, Sideswipe clutched at his stomach, laughing hard. "Oh Primus that was perfect!" It had been an unexpected addition to their plans, and he was certain Sunstreaker didn't even realize what he was doing, but _Primus_! It was hilarious!

Looking at his brother a moment, Sunstreaker's eyes widened, a comical look on a horse, and his jaw dropped. Then he looked down at himself. After a moment, he shrugged again, turned to his side, and leaned against the railing, crossing his hooves over his chest.

Not two minutes later and a rather unhappy looking Prowl appeared next to them, dripping wet. "I should have known." He muttered.

A choked, metallic laugh reached their audio sensors, and the trio looked over to see a shaking semi sitting in the parking lot, gathering a lot of attention. What no one saw, was the man that appeared out of thin air behind the crowd, and walked over to them.

Shaking his head, one eyebrow rose, and somehow Optimus managed to look both amused and unamused at the same time. "As should I." Looking to Sideswipe, who gave him a sheepish look, and the smirking horse beside him, he laughed again. "Alright, you two. This is supposed to be serious work."

"Find another horse!"

A rather exhausted looking young woman was walking across the bridge, but seeing the scene before her, she froze and blinked. She stared at the talking horse, and then at the three men who were staring at her.

"I'm not letting anyone sit on me!" With a single hoof, he shoved a lock of mane out of his face and huffed indignantly, before turning and freezing at the sight of the woman behind him. "Oh, frag!" With that, he disappeared into thin air.

Blinking again, she turned and slowly began walking back across the bridge. "Too early. It's just...too early." She murmured with a shake of her head.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Hope you like it.

R+R please.

Thank you.

Tenshi


	25. Sam and Sides, Static Mech

**Disclaimer** : I don't own it. I also don't own anything Family Guy related.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**(Sam's POV)**

It was late in the evening, and most people were asleep. Not me, however. As inviting as Mikaela's side was, or even Bee's palm, I was just too wide awake to even attempt to sleep. So here I was, wandering more or less aimlessly down the hall, trying to decide if I wanted to go to the gym, or try and find some caffeine in the mess hall.

A small sigh escaped me as I looked around. It was dark, but emergency lights lit up the hall enough for me to see where I was going. I wandered down one hall, and up the next.

Eventually, I decided to stop by the mess hall for something to drink, and I reclined back in the chair, trying to decide how to wear myself out enough to get some sleep. It was about five minutes later, that I heard something strange.

"Heheheheheheheh."

Blinking a moment, I didn't know whether to be amused, or disturbed, hearing the sound of Peter Griffin's laugh echoing down the hall. Peter Griffin was a fictional character of a hilarious comedy cartoon show, called Family Guy. Something someone had decided the Autobots _had _to know about.

After a moment, I shook my head. "I really need sleep."

Hearing the sounds of scuffing, I froze. "Heheheheheheheheh."

I was starting to get more disturbed, and a little freaked. It was dark out, and everyone was supposed to be asleep, but as I listened, the scuffing sounds grew louder.

Only thanks to the carpet _someone_ had stupidly decided to put down in the halls.

Yeah, I know. Very stupid idea. I mean, the Autobots often drove down these halls in their alternate forms, and yet someone insisted that for the comfort of bare human feet, carpets should be installed.

We were on an army base. _Who_ was worried about their bare feet getting cold, when they shouldn't have walked around barefoot to begin with??

Shaking my head, I grabbed my empty cup and put it in the sink, before slowly making my way to the door. Glancing out it, I froze, a single eyebrow slowly raising. "Sideswipe?"

The silver and black mech jumped a little, and turned to me. Then he grinned. "Yep! Hey, Sam. What're you doing up??"

"Couldn't sleep." I murmured back, frowning a little. "What...are you doing?"

A slow smirk formed. "Heheheheheheheh."

Well, at least I could relax, knowing he was the source of the Peter Griffin laugh. "Let me guess, someone let you watch family guy." _God help whoever that was._

He nodded, and waved me over. Walking hesitantly over, I watched as he locked his wheels up and scuffed them along the carpet. He slowly made his way to the main hangar, a quiet snicker escaping now and then as he entered in and snuck up behind Sunstreaker, who was in his alternate form and completely still.

"Wait!" I hissed quietly. When the silver mech raised an eyebrow at me, I gave him a pointed look. "You really wanna piss off Sunstreaker?" I had a vague idea what he was doing, and I was a little worried about the consequences.

With another snicker, Sideswipe nodded and laughed. Turning around, he grinned evilly and slowly reached out, pointing one finger at Sunstreaker's rear bumper. "I'm not Sideswipe!" He spoke, mimicking Peter Griffin's voice exactly. "I'm _Static Mech!_" He reached down, until his finger was less than an inch from his brother's bumper.

Then a sharp blue bolt of energy passed from his fingers and into the bumper.

Lights flashed, and a horn blared loudly as the Corvette jolted sharply awake. "_What the frag?!"_ He almost screamed, waking the few other Autobots in the hangar.

Spinning on his heels, Sideswipe transformed in less time than it took me to blink, and opened his door for me. Getting the message, I was in the car, even as the yellow Corvette behind us exploded out and began transforming.

Tires squealed, and Sideswipe was off like a bat out of hell, out of the hangar before Sunstreaker could even finish transforming.

There was a long moment of silence in the car, and then... "Heheheheheheheheh."

I couldn't help but laugh, despite myself. Sideswipe was in one of his funks, and was hilarious to be around. "You know he's gonna wake everyone up, right?"

"Too late." Came the sing song reply. "They're already awake. Well, the ones in the hangar, anyways. Bumblebee's looking for you, by the way, with a rather tired looking Mikaela."

Looking out the front window, I blinked and then got out as he stopped and transformed. Mikaela was standing at the far end of the hall, looking confused but beautiful. Her hair was in a casual disarray, and she was wearing grey shorts and a tank top. Her arms were also folded over her chest.

"Hey beautiful." I smiled and walked over, leaving the mech behind me. I saw Bumblebee a few feet away, his head cocked to the side and a small chirp echoing forth. Actually, he looked to be peeking around the corner, as if afraid to step foot in the hall for some reason.

I heard scuffing behind me, but didn't pay any attention to it, as I wrapped Mikaela up in a hug.

"I couldn't sleep, sorry." I murmured quietly.

"Heheheheheheheh."

Mikaela giggled at the sound, and I rolled my eyes. Seeing Bumblebee's wide optics, I frowned a little, and with a light kiss, walked over to him, leaving Mikaela to turn and watch me. It didn't even occur to me that we had our backs to a known prankster. "Hey, Bee. You ok?"

He looked at me a long moment, and tilted his head. Then, with a tap of some button on his helmet, I heard yelling.

"Where is that fragger?! Let me at him, I'll tear him a new exhaust port!" That was obviously Sunstreaker.

Tapping his helmet again, Bee looked at me, as I laughed. "What's up?" The phrase was a completely random one I couldn't identify, but the voice sounded like something from a recent movie that came out.

Shaking my head, I turned around, and all but gasped when I saw a long, metallic finger decending towards my confused girlfriend. "Sideswipe, _no_!"

It was too late.

As the finger neared Mikaela a jolt of electricity erupted from the tip. A loud screech, and the smell of burning hair later, and Sideswipe was running for his life, no longer laughing.

**(The Next Morning)**

"Anyone seen Sideswipe?" Will asked in confusion. "I heard something about a prank last night, and an emergency trip to Ratchet?" Looking around the room, his gaze rested upon the person beside me, and his eyes _widened_. "What. The. _Hell_. Happened to you??!"

I groaned a little, finally feeling the full effects of a night without sleep. Wrapping an arm around Mikaela's shoulder, I hissed and jumped when I got a static shock from her. "Ow." Still, I rested my arm around her and pulled her against me.

She glared at the table with a look that I'm surprised didn't have her oatmeal bubbling in it's bowl. "Sideswipe." She murmured, before shivering a little. She ran her hands through her hair, and struggled to pull it down from the bride of Frankenstein look it had taken, standing up on end. "And he paid for it."

Sunstreaker strode into the room, shaking a moment before continuing on. He didn't seem all that pleased either.

"Do I dare ask what happened to _you_?" Will asked, his lips trembling.

"Sideswipe." Was the snarl.

"He name isn't Sideswipe." I cut in, yawning and taking a huge drink of my coffee. When everyone turned to me, I shrugged. "It's 'Static Mech', apparently." I glanced at Will. "Family Guy reference."

He nodded a little. "Well, if he survives long enough to make it to another planet, he can honestly say 'I come in pieces'."

Everyone busted up laughing, after a moment. Despite their moods, even Mikaela and Sunstreaker found themselves joining in.

It was true, too. After last night, Sideswipe had run for his life...accidentally right _into_ the raging arms of his brother. Once Mikaela had stopped vibrating, she'd growled something to Bumblebee, who nodded and disappeared.

Two hours later, and Sunstreaker was holding Sideswipe down, along with an irate, sleepy Ironhide, while Mikaela unscrewed his wheels and rolled them away. Then Ironhide took them to Ratchet, explained the issue, and Mikaela was forced to endure two hours of scanning and lectures before Ratchet congratulated her on an excellent revenge.

Needless to say, the carpet was gone before the rest of the base was even awake.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**Note** : So I know that rubber wheels on a carpet doesn't really generate static, but this _is_ a fan_fiction_.

Hope you like it.

R+R please.

Thank you.

Tenshi


	26. Jazz, Singing Shoes

**Disclaimer** : I don't own it. I also don't own 'Shoes'. It's an actual vid on Youtube. Just look it up. It's disturbing and has foul language, though, so beware. -.-'

**Note** : Requested by **Darklight8121**. Well, sort of. Jazz kind of pisses off a mentruating Mikaela. Big mistake. -.-'

Also, I am now the proud owner of an Autobot belt buckle. LOL! Ok, so I don't normally update so quickly, but I HAD to get another chapter out. XD

Also, BIG NOTE ::: If anyone has ideas, I'd love to hear them. I can't guarantee I'll be able to write them, but you never know. :)

**Topkicker** - I notice how you added in the extra 'poor' for Sideswip. LOL.

**Wolf Mystic** - My favorite part will always be Sunny the talking horse. LOL!

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**(Mikaela's POV)**

Walking down the hall, I glared at the floor and tried to ignore the cramps running through my system. _Damn advil, kick in already._ I mentally cursed, rounding a corner and promptly ducking out of the way of a massive foot. "God, Jazz!" I glared up at the mech angrily. A small part of me knew I was taking out frustrations on him and he didn't deserve it, but right now I was in too much pain to care. "Watch where you're putting those massive hooves of yours!" I tried not to clutch at my side and show that I was hurting.

Last thing I needed was an embarrassing trip to Ratchet. Oh yeah. No. Thanks.

He blinked at me, and then frowned. "Are ya ok, 'Kaela?"

"Fine, when I'm not almost getting turned into squishy jam." I shot back, cringing inside from my tone. _Yeah, so not on my best behaviour today._ A loud laugh behind Jazz caught my attention, and I felt my eyes narrow as I saw Sideswipe leaning against the wall. "Something funny, sparkles?" Why in God's name Sideswipe felt his armor had to be _that_ shiny, I'll never know.

Maybe it was a self defense thing. After all, if the Decepticons were blind, they couldn't see where they were shooting, right?

Catching my tone, he looked at me a moment, but something crossed his eyes. He shook his head, wiped at an optic and turned, walking off, still laughing a little as he went.

Apparently he was smart enough to know not to get on my bad side. Unfortunately, the same could not be said for Jazz.

"Hmm..." Looking up, I saw Jazz watching me thoughtfully. "Scans show yer on tha human cycle known as 'mentruation'." One optic ridge rose slowly. "I've 'eard gals get ta be quite evil lil glitches at this time, but neva thought I'd see it."

_He did not just... _My eyes narrowed even more. I knew that, at times, 'glitches' was used in place of 'bitches'. At least for Autobots. Then I remembered first meeting him, and him calling Sam and I 'lil bitches'. "Are you calling me a bitch?" I felt my hackles rise, so to speak. _Come on, just give me a reason. Please._

His optics seemed to narrow and dim, as I guessed he was searching my meaning. "I don' know what yer gettin' at, girlie." Shaking his head, he cycled his vents. "But I ain't got time ta sit an' chat. I got work ta do. Come find me lata, when yer not so..." He trailed off with a slightly pointed look, before walking off.

_Oh, he _so_ asked for it._

**(Later)**

Thinking up the perfect revenge took a little time. First of all my conscience kept screaming at me, that it really was my fault for being short with him. A few coils of rope and a gag later, and my plans resumed unhindered.

Besides, I wasn't planning on ripping him a new one, I just wanted to mess with him a little.

The actual idea itself was totally random. I was checking my email when one of my friends sent me a link to a Youtube video, called 'Shoes'. The video itself was weird, but remembering Jazz was very into Earth music, I smirked to myself.

Now, all I needed was a little help. Where to turn...?

Ratchet wouldn't help. He already had his plate full with scheming twins, and a very upset Prowl. He really didn't need _another_ enemy right now. Not to mention, this wasn't a medical emergency, and as Jazz had never really participated in any of the pranks on him, he wouldn't see fit for revenge.

On the other hand, I needed a bot with at least _enough_ medical knowledge to help me with the reprogramming.

My cramps had finally faded, and I walked down the halls of the base. I spotted several mechs, and dismissed them either for their lack of knowledge, or because I knew they'd refuse or screw it up in one way or another.

Then I saw Jolt.

A smirk found its way onto my face.

"Hey, Jolt!" He turned around and raised and optic ridge. "Can I talk to you a moment?" I stood by the wall, out of the way and pasted the biggest, most innocent smile on my face, that I could.

He nodded and made his way over. "Mikaela Banes, sparkmate of Samuel Witwicky, correct?"

Well, sparkmates was a little more serious than what Sam and I had going on, but hey, po-tae-to, po-tah-to. Besides, maybe one day... "Yup, that's me. I was wondering if you could help me with something?"

Lowering his hand to the floor, he waited until I was on to stand up straight. I asked him to find a private place we could talk, and a few moments later, we were standing in a large, empty room, which seemed to serve no purpose but to take up space, at the moment.

"Ok, so I need a favor. How would you like to help me pull a prank?" I smirked, remembering the twins telling me that he did like to join them on occasion. When I saw his optics light up, I let my smirk grow. "Ok, so I found this video in my email today..." I went on to explain the basic video, waited as he found and watched it, and then explained my plan. I had to actually explain it a few times over for him to really get it, but eventually he nodded, his own smirk forming.

"Should I ask what Jazz did to make you angry?"

Raising an eyebrow, I shrugged. "He said something he shouldn't have. That's all." I wasn't really angry, either. I was doing this, with the full plan on videotaping it, just to teach him never to mess with a human femme. Not to mention, I don't know if I've ever really pulled my own prank, and this was the perfect opportunity.

That night we headed to Jazz's quarters after everyone had gone to sleep, or in the mechs' case, recharge, and Jolt flipped a hidden switch in Jazz's neck, temporarily offlining him. We got down to work, and I went to bed, eager to see my work the next day.

**(The Next Day)**

Looking to Jolt, I giggled. "You set the key phrase and words, and modified the lyrics?"

He nodded and smirked.

We were sitting on the couch in the rec room, relaxing. Sam had some meeting to go to, along with Optimus, and Bumblebee was with Ratchet for one of his voice processor checkups. Several of the other Autobots were simply milling around, either watching t.v. or chatting amongst themselves in their native language.

I was feeling a lot better today, unfortunately, my conscience somehow managed to get free. I had to shut it in the darkest corners of my mind in order not to back out. I just had to keep telling myself, this would be good.

Then, Jazz walked in.

He looked around, like something was bothering him, and then walked over to us. "'Kaela. Jolt. Feelin' betta 'Kaela?" He tilted his head a little.

Biting my lip, I nodded.

He nodded back. "Tha's good." Turning, he began to walk over to Ironhide and Sunstreaker when I called to him.

"Hey, Jazz... Where ya goin'?" I couldn't help the smirk as he went rigid. I'd spoken the key phrase to initiate the new program, and as I watched, he turned around. His optics were glazed over and he stared straight ahead.

_**Shoes.**_

The voice that came out of his mouth wasn't Jazz's. I almost died laughing when I realized just how perfectly Jolt configured Jazz's voice to sound like that of the actual singer.

_**Shoes.**_

_**Shoes.**_

_**Oh, my Primus.**_

_**Shoes.**_

By this point, several mechs were staring at Jazz like he'd grown a second head. I'd whipped out my camera, and watched as our basically zombified Jazzie began singing.

_**Let's get some shoes**_

_**Let's get some shoes**_

_**Let's get some shoes**_

_**Let's get some shoes**_

"Uh, Jazz?" Ironhide approached him warily.

Jazz didn't even seem to notice he was there, as he placed one claw on his hip.

_**Shoes**_

_**Shoes**_

_**Shoes**_

_**Oh, my Primus, shoes**_

_**Shoes**_

"You can't even _wear_ shoes." Ironhide pushed Jazz's shoulders slightly, optics narrowing. Shooting me a look, he cycled his vents, even as I laughed and wiped tears from my eyes.

_**These shoes rule.**_ Jazz pointed to his own feet.

_**These shoes suck.**_ He pointed to Ironhide's, getting a growl.

_**These shoes rule.**_ He pointed back to his own feet.

**These shoes SUCK!**

He suddenly pushed Ironhide. Not hard enough to hurt the mech, just to jostle him a little.

"What did you do?" Ironhide was glaring at me, but I could see his lips twitching, even as several other mechs began laughing and clicking to each other.

_**Shoes**_

_**Shoes**_

_**Shoes**_

_**Oh, my Primus, shoes**_

_**Shoes**_

I laughed even harder, leaning against the edge of the couch to try and steady myself as I kept filming. "N...N..." I laughed again and shook my head. I gave up even trying to answer him.

_**These shoes rule.**_ Jazz was once again pointing at his feet, like they were the most fabulous things on this planet.

_**These shoes suck.**_ He pointed down at Ironhide's feet, a look of disgust crossing his face.

_**These shoes suck.**_ Jabbing his fingers down, he mock gagged.

_**These shoes SUCK!**_ Again he lightly pushed Ironhide.

Growling, Ironhide's cannons powered up, only to power back down again when he realized blowing Jazz to kingdom come was probably a bad idea. Especially after Ratchet worked so hard to get the saboteur back.

Suddenly, Jazz stopped singing. He shook his head, before placing a hand to his metallic equivalent of a temple and groaning. "Man, wha' happened ta meh? I feel like I got hit by a seeka." His voice was back to normal, and he didn't seem to have any recollection of what just happened.

I grinned widely. "Jazz?" I kept my tone as sweet as possible, although I was dying of laughter on the inside. "I think you have too many shoes."

_**Shut up!**_

Everyone blinked as Jazz popped a hand over his mouth and his optics widened. The voice hadn't been his, nor had the reaction.

Jolt snickered behind me. "I think you have too many shoes."

_**Shut up!**_

Everyone must have wondered what glitches Jazz was experiencing, as he looked about ready to murder someone, and run screaming in horror at the same time. "Aw, man. I didn' mean tha'!"

"I think you have too many shoes." I repeated, shaking my head.

_**Shut up!**_

He was glaring at me by now, and I couldn't help it. I cracked up laughing again.

Finally, Ironhide smirked. "I think you have too many shoes."

_**SHUT UP!**_

Jazz whirled on Ironhide, and in a twist of amazingly graceful moves, had the larger weapons specialist on his back, with Jazz's foot pressed down on his chest.

_**Stupid mech.**_

_**Stupid mech.**_

Shaking his head, Jazz turned away. Ironhide just lay there, looking stunned and pissed at the same time.

_**Let's get some shoes!**_

_**Let's party!**_

Unfamiliar music began playing, and he began dancing around, much to the entertainment of the other mechs. Most laughed, but some, like Skids and Mudflap, got in on the dancing. Even little Wheelie popped up and began rolling around, careful not to get stepped on.

_**These shoes are three hundred dollars.**_ Jazz pointed to his feet, lifting one to the edge of the couch in the process to show them off.

_**These shoes are three hundred dollars.**_

"Someone call Ratchet, already." Ironhide grumbled, getting up.

"You do it, you're not mute. Obviously." Sideswipe snickered, rolling his optics.

_**These shoes are three hundred fragging dollars**_

_**Let's get 'em!**_

Jazz stopped, a look of growing horror dominating his face plates as he looked at me. "Wha...? 'Kaela, wha'cha do to meh?"

Everyone calmed down a moment, as I remained suspiciously quiet, a smirk stuck glued to my face. Moments later, and Jazz was about ready to run for his spark, when Optimus, along with Sam and Bumblebee, came walking into the room, followed closely by a grumbling Ratchet.

"Alright. What's the fuss about? All I got was Jazz was singing, and it wasn't Jazz." Ratchet looked pissed and confused.

My face felt ready to split in half. _Perfect timing._ "Um, this style runs small. I don't think you're gonna fit."

Jolt piped up behind me, before I could finish. "I mean, your feet are kinda big."

Going rigid again, everyone's attention returned to Jazz.

_**Oh.**_

_**Oh.**_

_**Oh.**_

Optimus raised an optic ridge, even as Sam's jaw dropped. Ratchet paused, and then cycled his vents in slight annoyance.

_**Oh, by the way, glitch.**_

_**FRAG YOU!**_

_**FRAG YOU!**_

_**FRAG YOU!!!**_

He began dancing around again, wildly as more music played loudly from his internal speaker system.

I couldn't help but laugh hysterically, even as the sanity came back to Jazz's optics, and he glared at me. He was, however, unable to stop dancing, and everyone began laughing when a small whimper escaped.

Even Ratchet couldn't help but laugh at the ridiculous image before him.

I turned the camera off, and hid it again, before getting a lift from Bee to join Sam on the little scout's shoulders. With a smirk, I gave my boyfriend a peck on the lips, then turned to Bee. "That's not gonna last much longer. We'd better make a run for it." I informed him.

With a nod and squeak, Bumblebee took off out of the room.

"MIKAELAAAA!!!" The yell chased us down the hall, and sent us all into fresh laughter.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Hope you like it.

R+R please.

Thank you.

Tenshi


	27. Bee, Lady Bumblebee

**Disclaimer** : I don't own it.

**Note** : Woot! Team Autobot all the way! LOL! Sorry. -.-' Sugar high. Was at the fair today, saw the bumper cars, drop tower, house of mirrors.... LOL! Oh! And the merry-go-round. XD

Ok, so this is the last update for the week, but I have plenty more chapters to come. See you all later. And thank you all for your amazing reviews! :) I'm very happy you like this fic so far. :)

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**(Normal POV)**

Shaking his head furiously, Bumblebee shot Mikaela and Sam a wide-opticed look. He didn't need to speak, to get his point across, even a his doorwings drooped, and he raised his hands in a sign of peace, taking a wary step back.

"I'll take that as a 'no'?" Mikaela pouted. Luckily, Sam recognized the voice, and resisted looking her way, even as Bumblebee hunched down on himself, made an 'awwwww' noise, and lowered his head. "Please, Bumblebee? I'm sure you won't get into trouble, and I wanna see it. You're so cute, you'd make a gorgeous femme."

Rubbing the back of his head slightly, Bee's cooling jets switched on, but he still seemed hesitant. Taking one last look up at Mikaela's face, however, and he cycled his vents loudly, nodding reluctantly before lowering his hand to the ground so they could get on.

"Yay! You're the best!" Mikaela was giggling now, and reached out to hug his thumb.

Sam merely patted his curved metallic fingers slightly, wincing when he saw the surrender in Bee's optics. "Sorry man, but you gotta admit..." With a slow smirk progressing across his cheeks, he raised an eyebrow. "This is gonna be good."

Pausing a moment, Bumblebee seemed to take it in. What that thought in mind, he slowly perked up and began the trek out of their quarters, towards Wheeljack's lab on the far side of the base. It was a quiet ride, as Mikaela was grinning evilly, and giggling every now and then, playing with a camera in her hands. Sam was too busy trying to decide if he was dreading the upcoming change, or looking forward to it.

Bee... Well, he was split between reconsidering and running for his spark, or going through with it and having some real fun.

Before he had a chance to make up his mind, they had reached Wheeljack's lab, and as predicted, he was inside. Letting out a whistle, Bee let the scientist know he was there, and watched as the blue and white mech slowly turned around.

"Ah, young Bumblebee. What can I do for you today?" He then look down and saw the humans in his friend's hand. "And Mikaela Banes and Samuel Witwicky. This _is _a surprise. Welcome." His facial fins blinked as he nodded with a friendly glint to his optics.

"Well, you see..." Mikaela shot him a wide-eyed, innocent look. "With all the mechs turning into femmes, because of that chip of yours? We _really_ wanted to see Bumblebee as a femme." She pouted a little.

"Oh, no. I already got into trouble for that." Shaking his head, 'Jack cycled his vents.

Bee made a small chirping noise and tilted his head to the side a little. _**'I have already agreed.'**_ He added in, over internal communications.

Pausing a moment, the scientist seemed to think about it. "Hm, a _willing_ subject? Well... To be honest, I _am_ curious about how you would appear, Bumblebee, as a femme." There was a smile in his voice. "But Optimus Prime might not appreciate it."

"Let us deal with him!" Mikaela pulled out her phone and began texting. She wore a smirk that would make most sane mechs fear for their sparks as she hit the final button and glanced up, as though waiting for something.

Almost immediately, Wheeljack was buzzed over private lines. _**'Yes, Optimus?'**_

There was a low cycling of vents, before a very weary voice came over the line. _**'Proceed. You... You have my permission. Just tell Mikaela to delete the picture, please. Prime out.'**_

Blinking a moment, Wheeljack turned to Mikaela. "Picture?" When she blushed and shook her head in a way that told him he wasn't going to see it, he shrugged. "Optimus has asked you delete the picture, and given me permission to make the chip." With a final nod, he turned to his workbench, even as Mikaela pulled out her cell phone again.

_**Thanks, Boss 'bot.**_ -Mikeala

She immediately deleted the picture and relaxed against Sam, smirking to herself for thinking to take a picture of femme Prime being groped by her evil brother. "This should be good." _I had a feeling that picture would come in handy some day._

**(Later)**

Mikaela and Sam had been kicked out of the laboratory, as one of the rules of the base spoke they weren't allowed to be inside during one of Wheeljack's experiments, even if it was already a proven experiment he was recreating. That meant they had a little while to do nothing, so they headed to the rec room, where, with the help of Sideswipe, they managed to get up on the Autobot-sized couch and sat back to watch some t.v.

It wasn't too long later, that the door opened behind them, and they heard a low whistle coming from Sideswipe.

"Whose the new femme?" He whispered, though the humans could still hear him.

Sunstreaker's optics widened. "Wow."

Glancing at Sam, Mikaela's eyes widened, and abruptly she was up, climbing up onto the arm rest of the couch and looking around the back. "Holy sh-" A blaring of a horn and a glare interrupted her words, and she blushed. "Sorry. It's just... _Wow_!"

Bumblebee was standing in the door way. Or, at least, it _looked kinda_ like Bumblebee. It was a small, slender femme, with huge blue optics, little antennai and large door wings. She was curvy, and had one hand resting on her hip.

Walking over...though it was more like a saunter, she ignored the nearly drooling mechs in the room and stared down at Mikaela, her facial plates pulled tight and her cooling fans switched on. "Happy now?!" It was an unfamiliar clip from an unfamiliar movie.

The mechs began looking around a moment, as if looking for something. Well, most of them anyways. Sideswipe smirked and ran a hand over his helmet before sauntering over himself and leaning against the back of the couch, getting right in the femme's way.

Blinking, Bee backed up a step.

"So, when'd you get here? A pretty little thing like you shouldn't be wandering around alone, there's lots of big ol' scary Decepticons roaming this planet, you know." Sideswipe slid closer. "I'd be happy to be your bodyguard."

"If not sparkmate." Someone else muttered in the background.

Raising an optics ridge, Bee smirked. Leaning back in, she narrowed her optics slightly and let out a wordless coo, before tracing one long, slender finger up Sideswipe's chest.

His own cooling jets switched on, and he seemed to stutter a moment. "Uhm... So, uh, how long have you been on Earth? Have you had a chance to look around much, yet?" He chuckled a little, the sound catching in his throat when the finger dropped to the back of the couch.

_**'If I live to be one hundred, and never see the seven wonders.. That'll be alriiiiiiiight.'**_ The song split out over her radio frequencies.

"You don't talk?"

Femme Bee ducked her head sheepishly.

"Aww, that's ok, sweetspark." Sideswipe's smirk was back in full. "I understand, you're just shy."

_**'And if my tender heart is broken, I will cry those teardrops knowin' I will be just fiiiiiiiine. 'Cause nothing changes who...I...ammmm.'**_

Mikaela and Sam exchanged looks on the armrest of the couch. Both of them had wide eyes, and seemed torn between being amused, or scared. Mikaela almost silently hiccupped a bubble of laughter, and slapped her hand over her mouth as she looked back up again.

"Have you been cleared to leave the base?"

Taking a step back, Bee shook her head and began to laugh, a wordless sound. She clutched at her chest and doubled over.

"Man, Sides... You have....interesting taste in femmes." Wheeljack spoke up from the doorway at that moment. "First Sunstreaker, now..." Turning to the femme, his facial fins lit up in quiet laughter. "Go ahead and try the shut off program I installed."

With a nod, the femme shuttered her optics, and the image wavered. Then it flashed and disappeared, and in it's place was regular old Bumblebee, who let out a wolf whistle, winked an optic at a shocked looking Sideswip, and sauntered over to Wheeljack.

The entire room busted up into laughter, as Sideswipe stood there, blinking blankly a moment, before dropping his head onto the back of the couch, his cooling jets switching on louder than ever as he groaned.

Even Mikaela and Sam laughed, a Bumblebee, choking on metallic laughter, wandered over and offered them a lift up onto his shoulder.

Lookig into his amused facial plates, Mikaela giggled.

"Yep, Bee. That was totally worth it."

They listened to the laughter and teasing in the room behind them, as the left.

_Totally worth it._

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Hope you like it.

R+R please.

Thank you.

Tenshi


	28. Arcee, Aliens

**Disclaimer** : I don't own it.

**Note** : Inspired by Just for Laughs: Gags

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**(Arcee's POV)**

I have to admit, as annoying as the twins could be... Well, more like their pranks, but... As annoying as they could be, they definitely had some good ideas.

Last night we all got together and decided to watch Earth movies. They wanted to introduce us to make believe worlds, and a form of their entertainment, so the theme was horror movies.

Of course, Annabelle was forbidden to watch, which meant Ironhide wasn't going to be there either, which meant Chromia would skip it. Ironhide insisted on watching over little Annabelle, while Sarah and Will watched the movies, and Chromia just wanted to spend time with her sparkmate.

The rest of us spent the first two movies confused, and a little worried for the humans who were jumping, yelping, screaming, shivering, and hiding behind some of the 'bots. Then we more or less got the hang of it and enjoyed the third one, a movie called 'Aliens'. The concept was possible, as we'd witnessed similar events on distant worlds, but the humans didn't need to know that.

**Flashback**

"I'm so glad those things don't exist." Sam muttered into Mikaela's hair.

Raising an optic ridge, I turned to Sam. "Doesn't your world also say aliens in general don't exist? Giant sentient robots?" I looked around at the others pointedly, before grinning evilly. "You should realize by now, Samuel Witwicky, that _anything_ is possible."

"Don't those remind you of the symbiants of Tarmack III?" Flare-up looked at my significantly. "Those creatures who nested in the chests of other creatures, only to burst out as they hatched?"

"I do believe you're right. I also encountered a similar species on Grenden Mar." I nodded a little. "Perhaps, like us, they have a means of transporting to other worlds?"

"Oh, God, no!" Sam shuddered in horror and held Mikaela tighter. "Shut up, shut _up_!"

Mikaela rolled her eyes and grinned at us, before stroking his hair softly, as if in an attempt to soothe him. "Don't worry, babe. With the way you eat, and _what _you eat, you'd never know until it was too late."

"Shut uuuuuuuup!" He groaned, covering his ears.

I couldn't help but laugh, hearing his disgust in our topics of discussion. Bumblebee even smirked, though he shook his head at me and cycled his vents a little.

**End Flashback**

"Not my fault they were squeamish." My holoform self smiled as I brushed back long black hair, and sat up on the bike. We'd stopped at a red light, looking to my left, I blinked at a costume store. One of it's window displays featured a costume with an alien-like symbiant creature jutting out of the chest, covered in fake blood.

An idea suddenly hit me and I turned an evil smirk on Flare-up.

Chromia had once again decided to stay back at base, to tease the humans about their jumpiness since that movie marathon last night. That left Flare-up and myself with plenty of time to drive around, as long as we blended in.

_Boss 'bot's not gonna like this._ I thought as I gunned my engine, replaced my sunglasses over my eyes and drove off when the light turned green. _**'Hey Flare, I just got a great idea for some quick fun.'**_

_**'Holoform transformations have been done.'**_ She replied back, her long black hair tied back in a long braid, and wearing greenish tinted sunglasses.

_**'Not this way, it hasn't. Come on, wanna out do the twins?'**_

_That_ got her interest, and we quickly discussed a plan. It was simple, really. Holograms were easy to make and control, and we could make it as real as possible. This would probably get us into trouble with Optimus and Ratchet, not to mention Prowl would blow a gasket, but it would be worth it.

Flare-up stayed right behind me as we drove. We acted normal enough, making sure no one saw us as anything more than a couple of sisters out, riding their kickaft bikes. Then _it_ happened.

I doubled over, swerving myself dangerously as my holoform gasped and clutched her stomach with one hand. I twisted my face into an expression of shock, confusion and pain as I quickly pulled over and doubled up even more. I put both hands at my chest and straightened up, gasping.

Flare was at my side in an instant, faking concern as she got off her bike and walked over. "Are you ok?!"

"I think...it was just indigestion." I murmured, my lips trembling as I tried not to laugh. Looking up, I could see her struggling as well.

Doubling over again, I let out a low, pained groan for effect. Sure, we were out in the middle of nowhere, but people would see a girl who looked like she was hurting or something, and her concerned friend...

It wasn't long before a concerned citizen pulled over. Luckily it was a younger male, as I already had the frailties of the elder humans burned into my memory banks from a lecture from Ratchet. As he approached, I straightened up again, only to gasp in mock pain.

"Are you alright?" The guy asked.

Taking a look at him, I almost busted up laughing, remembering a report to Prowl from William Lennox, who spoke of a human male who had incidentally had to deal with a bored Decepticon, who'd taken a page from Sideswipe's books.

_**'Hey! It's Gremlin man!'**_ Flare-up also recognized him, from what I guessed.

I felt a tiny bit bad for what I was about to do, but groaned a little and focused on him once again. "I'm fine... I think it's just the...Chinese takeout I had earlier."

He nodded sympathetically. "Yeah, the restaurant has good food, but it doesn't always sit well."

Tranquility, despite being a large city, only had one Chinese restaurant that delivered. This meant he must have eaten there, and only made things get better.

I tried to nod, but gasped sharply, and activated the modified hologram, causing something to press outward sharply, on my holoform chest. I went rigid, watching as he did, too, and his eyes widened in terror. I opened my mouth, to say something, but gurgled instead as the thing pressed out again.

"Uh... Uh..." He took a step back, looking petrified.

Suddenly, there was the sound of tearing material, and I looked down as a mishapen head burst from my shirt, covered in 'blood'. It had an elongated face, with a giant mouth filled with sharp looking, jagged teeth. It looked around, and then let out a high pitched squeal.

The man screamed shrilly, literally jumping back at least a foot, and backpedalling even further.

Taking the prank a step further, I made the creature jump out of my chest, as my holoform slumped over, 'dead', and it ran right towards the man.

Taking her cue, Flare went from terrified, to screaming shrilly and backing away. "Oh my P-God! God! Oh, my God!" She covered her mouth, her eyes widen and her frame shaking. Hell, even her real body was shaking, but that was in laughter.

The man froze. He watched the creature run up to his feet. He stopped screaming, he stopped moving. In fact, it looked like he'd stopped breathing all together.

Taking a page out of Wheelie's book, I then had the little creature jump forward, issuing another scream. It wrapped it's hands around the man's leg, who screamed again, and....began humping his leg.

_Wheelie, eat your spark out._

"Oh, _Primus_!" Flare couldn't keep it up anymore, and began laughing loudly.

Gremlin man stared down at the alien a long moment, as if frozen. "I... I.... I...."

I took my cue and fixed my holoform. Flare ran back to her own bike, and we took off. I waited two minutes before making the humping holographic alien disappear, and then hacked into the phone lines.

I wasn't disappointed.

"Hello, Tranquility police? I'd like to report... I was just humped by a miniature alien."

I couldn't see straight, I was laughing so hard. I was aware of swerving all over the road, luckily it was abandoned, and it was even worse when I saw Flare-up in the same condition, her engine sputtering as she struggled not to topple over with the force of her laughter.

Needless to say, later checks found that man locked up in the local insane asylum.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Hope you like it.

R+R please.

Thank you.

Tenshi


	29. Ironhide, Mummified Hide

**Disclaimer** : I don't own it.

**Note** : This is a requested idea by **Clifjumpersfangirl**.

Also, I never usually put in where the lyrics/broadcasts Bumblebee uses, because they're totally random, and I couldn't place most if I wanted to. Considering all the movies, tv shows, games, and songs out there, I figure there's _one_ that should have at least _one_ of the lines I've used...somwehere.

_**IMPORTANT NOTICE**_ : Ok, so I've gotten an idea in my head. Can't guarantee when it'll come out, but due to a lot of AMAZING reviews, requests for more 'femme mechs', and a severe caffeine/sugar overload, I have decided I'd like to attempt a........

Wait for it...

Wait for it...

MISS CYBERTRON PAGEANT!!!

-.-' ....Ok, so I was thinking of bringing in the mechs as femmes again, due to a little....motivation, and having a beauty pageant. I'm just wondering if readers would like to read something like that? Also, I wanted to mention it would be a separate fanfiction in its own, and there is no guarantee I'll be able to finish it. I've already got the first two chapters written, so far.

**ALSO** While I am attempting it, my writing of other stories will be a lot shorter and further between...meaning I only have a few more chapters of this story done so far, and I'm going to post them a little further apart (no longer than a few days in between) in order to space them out better.

Anywho, let me know!

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**(Sam's POV)**

"This is so childish." I murmured, biting my lip to keep from laughing nervously, as Bee drove us as silently as he could towards the Lennox household. "How did I even come up with it, again? And why exactly are you so eager to help me??"

The engine revved a little, before falling silent. Strangely, Bumblebee didn't even play a clip from a movie, or a song, to answer me.

I felt my eyes narrow. _Does he know something I don't?_ "Bee?"

_**Message from Starfleet**_. The radio buzzed to life, and Bumblebee bounced a little as his excitement became tangible. _**Mission accomplished**_.

Blinking a moment, I nodded. _He managed to actually spike his energon? _"Anyone hurt?"

_**Negative, captain. Zero casualties.**_

"Wow, you'd think he'd get a shot in, or two. What about the Lennox's? Will's not gonna be happy with what we're about to do, so I'd rather he didn't _know_ about it." I felt my heart pounding frantically in my chest. _If Ironhide wakes up, we're dead. If Will or Sarah wake up, we're dead._

Bee gave a reassuring whistle from his engine, before falling silent as we drove up the path towards the house.

It was a dark night out, overcast and really windy. I'd been talking to Bumblebee earlier, mentioning how everyone seemed to be pulling pranks and how I wanted to get in on it all. I'd been listing different pranks, none all that original or creative, when I came upon a classic. I explained it to Bumblebee, who seemed confused, before searching it up on the internet.

When his optics widened, and he nodded frantically, I should have known something was wrong. When he immediately involved Jolt, I should have turned tail and ran.

I didn't, and here I was.

As Bee pulled to a stop, I took in Ironhide's prone figure, laying sprawled out on the ground. "Uh, Bee, what is this? When I said... We were gonna do this with his truck form, weren't we? I mean, it's gonna be harder to do it with him, uh, like _this_."

A small squeak reached my ears and the driver side door swung open, even as the seatbelt released itself and slid back out of the way.

Taking the hint, I climbed out of the Camaro, and walked around to where the already open trunk waited for me. I took out the large package, and set it on the ground as Bumblebee inched a foot forward and began changing. I couldn't resist watching. Even after all this time, it was still neat to watch the way all the parts and gears rearranged themselves to show Bee's true form.

Once he was standing upright, he nodded to Jolt, said something in a series of clicks and whistles, then turned to me. _**Now what?**_

I picked open the package, keeping a nervous eye out as I grabbed a roll. Then I looked at Ironhide's prone form with a frown. "How exactly-?"

My question was cut off when Jolt moved behind Ironhide and began lifting him. First he lifted the 'bot into a sitting position, then with the help of Bee, a standing one. Fiddling with something a moment, his blue optics then turn to me. "Done." He stepped back, releasing his hold on the still standing Ironhide.

I was about to duck behind Bee, certain the giant metallic body was about to fall and make me a squishy pancake, but froze when I saw him standing upright on his own. I was even more ready to run then, thinking he had regained consciousness, but seeing his optics still dark....

"I engaged his stabilizers. They will keep him upright until I disengage them. The rest is all up to you." The blue mech stepped back, even as Bumblebee lowered his massive hand for me.

I hesitated a moment, before a slow smirk crossed my features. "You know, we're so gonna be screwed when he wakes up." I climbed into Bumblebee's palm, grabbing the package as I went. As we approached Ironhide, I explained briefly to Bee what I wanted him to do.

He waited until I had attached one part of the roll to Ironhide's neck, then began to walk around Ironhide. The roll began to unravel around the metallic throat, coating it in white. Before we were even done the throat, I was out and had to grab another roll. This continued over and over, until Bumblebee began to get dizzy from circling the temporarily offlined mech. Then Jolt took me into his hand, and we continued.

We'd reached the waist line, not counting the arms, when I ran out of rolls, and turned to Jolt, rubbing my aching arms. "Well, this didn't turn out too good."

A low, quiet whistle hit my ears, and I turned to find Bumblebee standing next to what looked like half a dozen packages on the ground.

"We calculated for how much paper is on a roll, and the size of Ironhide's form. There should be more than enough there, total." Jolt informed me, even as Bumblebee carefully passed me another package, taking the one with the empty cardboard rolls inside.

I nodded a little, pushing aside my pain when I ripped open the second bag and got back to work.

It took a lot longer than I had anticipated, as I was expecting to work with a black GMC Topkick, not a twenty-something foot tall robot, but we managed to get his entire body coated in paper. Even his canons, except where the blast would occur, were covered.

What was formerly a black 'bot, was now a white 'bot.

With a snicker, I groaned a little as Bumblebee transformed, and Jolt passed me to the ground.

"You are in pain, Sam." There was a cycling of vents. "Why didn't you simply ask us to help?"

"You _were_ helping." I pointed out, sagging gratefully into the warmed seats within the Camaro, and relaxing against them, even as they vibrated under me a little, relaxing tensed muscles. I groaned again, this time happily. "Oh man, thanks Bee, I needed that."

"Here. Take these."

Opening my eyes, I took a bottle of pills from Jolt's hand, as well as a small bottle of water. _Huh, advil. Ratchet's teaching him well._ I took two of the pills and sighed as I handed him back the pill bottle, keeping the open water bottle with me. "Alright, everyone. Time to head back and wait for the call."

Jolt nodded, smirking at Ironhide's prone form before transforming and taking off. Bumblebee was hot on his heels. It wasn't long before we arrived back at my house, and I was changed and sinking happily into my soft sheets of my bed.

**(Next Morning)**

"ARRAAGGGGGGGGHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

With a startled shriek -yes, _shriek_- I jumped out of bed, as the inhuman scream echoed through the neighborhood. Looking around wildly, I jumped to my window and looked out just in time to see my Camaro drive out of the garage on it's own, it's lights flashing as it sank down on it's axles and seemed to pause.

_He's not in robot form, so that's....gotta be a good sign._

I blinked then, as Bee began to shake wildly and quickly backpedalled right back into the garage again, as metallic laughter choked up audibly from his still damaged vocal processors.

I watched as people began to emerge from houses, looking around in confusion. Then I heard a knock on my door.

"Just a sec!" I called, turning and going to the door. Opening it, I found mom carrying a baseball bat, and dad staring at me with suspicious eyes. "Yes?"

"Do you have a girl in there?"

I blinked again, and frowned. "Do I...? What? No!"

"I heard a girl's shriek, Samuel James Witwicky."

Feeling my eyes widen, I ducked my head as my cheeks flamed. Opening the door, I let my parents inside and let them look around. "See a girl, anywhere?" I shot back, trying not to hunch up even more into myself. _Great. Just what I needed._

Just then my phone beeped, and I almost ran over to check it out.

_**Time to go, sunshine. Lennox is calling - B**_

"I gotta go, but I gotta get dressed first." It took a _lot_ of reassuring my parents, that I didn't have a girl in here, and even telling them the scream they'd heard was me, to get them to leave. They didn't look like they believed me, but reluctantly left and allowed me to get changed.

The entire drive to the Lennox Household was spent with me wondering what had caused that inhuman screech.

**(Lennox Household)**

When we finally pulled up, I found a scene straight out of a horror movie.

Autobots were gathered around, most laughing, but a few upset or confused. Annabelle was screaming and crying in her mother's arms, while Will eyed the 'bots suspiciously, as if looking for something.

With all the Autobots crowded close together, I couldn't make out what they were all staring at. Suddenly, it all came rushing back.

"Hold still, Ironhide!"

"Get this fragging stuff off me!"

"Language!"

I hopped out of Bumblebee, and he swiftly transformed, before lifting me onto a shoulder. He managed, somehow, to work his way through the throng of 'bots, and then seemed to stutter with enormous optics.

Seeing the scene before me, I froze as well.

Ironhide was standing stiffly, still covered in toilet paper. Unfortunately, it had turned more into paper mache overnight, somehow. Then there was the fact that the paper was no longer white, and had even attracted twigs and stones to it. He really did look like a giant mummy with a metallic face.

Bumblebee began shaking, and when I looked, he was laughing, though one hand covered his mouth and he seemed to be trying to hide it.

It suddenly dawned on me what happened. The wet grass, which I was only now noticing. The way water dropped from the trees... The wind from last night, and the unusually dark night. "It rained." I whispered to myself. Half glaring at Bumblebee, I raised an eyebrow. "Tell me, Bee, did you know this was gonna happen?" I was whispering, hoping none of the mechs would be listening.

He shook his head, but a quiet snicker beside me had me turning.

"I did." Jolt winked at me.

"Oh, crap." I hissed. _Goodbye, quick painless death, and hellow slow painful hell._

Looking to Ironhide, I watched as he tried to take a step forward, but his legs wouldn't bend. I couldn't help the laugh that escaped me, watching him waddle stiffly a little, before Ratchet pulled him back.

"Stop moving about! You're only going to make this worse!"

"When I find the slagger-"

"Language, Ironhide!!" Sarah warned in a quiet but deadly tone.

"-who did this, they're gonna pay, dearly." Blue optics flashed crimson, briefly.

I swallowed nervously, but it choked out in a laugh when he tried to raise his arms, only to find they wouldn't bend either. He tried to walk, with his arms out in front of him, and let out a low groan.

Annabelle squealed and hugged her mother tighter. "Mummy."

"Yes, sweetheart?" Sarah cooed, rubbing the long blonde locks of her little girl gently.

Shaking her head, Anna pointed to Ironhide. "Mummy."

Several Autobots snickered.

"Look at that, the little sparkling thinks Ironhide's her femme creator." Sideswipe snickered, earning him a glare.

It was Mikaela, sitting on Jolt's shoulder, who shook her head and spoke up. "Not 'mommy', Sides. 'Mummy." When the Autobots shot her a confused look, she sighed, even though she wore a grin on her face the entire time. "As in undead, bandaged wrapped human corpse. There are horror movies where mummies come to life and..." She shot a look down at little Annabelle and trailed off. "Well, yeah. Just look it up."

Several pairs of optics went dim, and moments later several Autobots were doubled over laughing.

Ratchet cycled his vents. "This isn't funny. It's going to take forever to get all this off." He peeled a long strip off, wincing a little, and then trying to pick off tiny pieces.

Annabelle squealed again, burying her face in Sarah's hair and shaking a little.

Seeing that, Ironhide's face softened and he seemed to sigh a little sadly, before the glower was abruptly back. "I _will_ find who did this to me. I vow it."

I exchanged a look with Bumblebee and Jolt, and when no one was looking, we slowly edged away. We were a few feet away, and the 'bots had transformed, when Mikaela opened her mouth.

Immediately, I put my hand over her mouth, and made a 'shush' motion, pleading with her with my eyes to stay quiet. Her eyes narrowed before widening in realization. A look passed her eyes, but was gone before I could recognize it, and she nodded.

I removed my hand from her mouth, and she climbed into Bee's passenger seat. I was just climbing into Bee's driver side when Ratchet doomed us all.

"Oh, yes, Jolt? How did that sedative work, that you asked for last night. You were more awake this morning than I was expecting."

Ironhide's optics widened. "Jolt? He was here...last...night." Optics slowly darkened and flashed red, even as a squealing of tires was heard and Jolt took off at a speed that would make Blur look slow. "Come back here, you slagging-"

"LANGUAGE!"

Ironhide winced, but tried to chase after Jolt. That's when Bumblebee took off, and as we looked out his windows, we could see Ironhide waddling after us, looking for all the world like a mummy.

I couldn't help it. Despite fearing for my life, I couldn't help but laugh at how he looked. "Well, I guess I now know what that scream was, this morning."

Mikaela winced. "I'd be surprised if all of Tranquility didn't hear it." And considering the Lennox household was a good distance outside of Tranquility...

I laughed again, and nodded. "Oh we did. We did."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Hope you like it.

R+R please.

Thank you.

Tenshi


	30. Ironhide, Glitch Mouse

**Disclaimer** : I don't own it.

**Note** : This idea was a request from **Darklight8121**.

**Starfire201** - Thank you :)

**Wolf Mystic** - LOL, well it's not like Ratchet _meant_ to out the poor bot. LOL

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**(Normal POV)**

"Fragging rodents." Ironhide almost recoiled away from Mojo, despite being in his alternate form, sitting on the side of the road. Luckily there were no passers by, who could witness it. "They all need to be exterminated. Shoo." Mojo walked closer, nose out and wriggling as the little dog sniffed the air. "Shoo! Get away!" The truck rocked a little. Funnily enough, Ironhide sounded almost desperate.

From where he sat, Sam shook his head. "Mojo, come." He called, watching as the little dog yipped and raced over. "You really don't like him, do ya?"

The truck seemed to shudder. "Reminds me of a fragging glitch mouse."

Raising an eyebrow, Sam looked over when a choked, wheezing laugh caught his attention. Bumblebee was shaking a little, underneath Mikaela's hands, even as she bent over and swiped a rag over his hook. Appreciating the view a moment, and mentally vowing to do something sweet for her later, Sam got up from the grass and walked over to them. "What's a glitch mouse?"

"Answer and die, youngling!"

Ironhide settled down when one of the neighbors shot his head out of his garage. Once the man disappeared, Sam's Camaro blew Ironhide a raspberry. Still, he remained silent, and Sam mentally cursed himself for even asking the question.

"Hey, 'Hide?"

"Don't call me that."

Mikaela rolled her eyes. "You weren't _actually_ expecting Bumblebee to answer, were you?" She raised an eyebrow. "Unless his vocel processors mysteriously repaired themselves overnight."

The truck seemed to freeze, before letting out a loud cycling of it's vents. _Why am I here, again?_ Seeing Will laughing as he hauled Sarah and Annabelle out of the house next to the garage, he blinked his optics. _Oh, right._

**(Later, At the Base)**

Sam was wandering around, as Bumblebee had a meeting with Optimus and a few others. He wasn't really paying much attention to where he was going, so when he bumped into Mikaela, almost literally, he blushed beet red. "'Kaela, hey."

She smiled. Then she laughed, grabbed his arm, and took off down the hall.

He followed silently, wondering what was going on, but knowing well enough to just go with it. Soon enough they were locked in his on-base quarters, and she turned to him. "I know what a glitch mouse is." She snickered. "Ratchet told me." When Sam raised an eyebrow, she rolled her eyes and shook her head before pulling her long black hair out of her face and putting it up in a high ponytail.

"It's a type of Cybertronian rodent. It gets into mech's armor when they're recharging, and messes up the wirework inside them. It can offline them, but apparently it's kind of like an invasion of the bodysnatchers thing. Like...the mechs internal systems get rerouted..." Seeing his blank look, she groaned. "Remember mummified Ironhide? Think zombified Ironhide."

Blinking a moment, he raised an eyebrow. "And that's cause for excitement because....?"

She grinned again and clapped her hands together. "Ironhide's terrified of them." She then produced her school backpack from behind her, where Sam hadn't even noticed it. "Ratchet even made one for me, to show me. I grabbed it when he wasn't looking." She carefully pulled something out of her backpack.

It was odd. It looked like a little metallic mouse. Well, more like a computer mouse in body shape and size, with a little rounded head, big round ears, tiny nose, and complete with whiskers and tail. She placed it flat on the ground, and then produced a remote control.

"It's completely harmless. Lacks the necessary programming to eat mech wiring and whatnot." Flipping a switch, she moved the little joystick in the center of the remote, and the mouse slid forward with a little metallic hum. Then it slid back.

"Remote controlled mouse." Sam nodded. Then he did a double take. "Wait, _Ironhide_ is _terrified_ of _this_?!" For a long moment, he was certain he was hearing things, but seeing the evil sparkle in Mikaela's eyes as she nodded and bit her lip... "Seri-Oh boy." Shaking his head, he took a step back. "No, no. I'm not getting involved this time. I'm still on his hit list for the TPing!"

"Oh, come on, you big baby." She pouted.

Quickly, Sam turned his eyes to the mouse, refusing to meet the look he knew would get him. "Seriously! Wait, it _slides_." She rolled her eyes in a 'well, _duh_' motion. "I mean, how does it get up into their armor?"

Picking up the mouse, she showed me the almost invisible little legs on the end, that looked like they could curve around something small...wires, maybe, and hold on.

"Oh. But no, you are _not_ getting me to help you this time!"

Afterall, after having to spend an entire day helping Bumblebee and Jolt remove all the nasty soggy toilet paper from Ironhide, _then_ having to wash and scrub every inch of his Topkick form, he really wasn't looking forward to more.

"Fine, coward. I'll do it." Taking the mouse, she kissed his cheek, smirked, and disappeared.

Rolling his own eyes, Sam sat back on his bed and relaxed for a little while, mentally calculating when Bumblebee and Optimus would be out of their meeting. He wasn't _too_ worried about Mikaela. After all, one look at those eyes, and she'd even have Ironhide agreeing to let her paint his cannons pink.

**(Main Hangar)**

Placing the mouse behind a box, Mikaela hid there as well, peeking out at the assembled bots who were chattering away about Bee and Optimus' return, momentarily. They were waiting for updates, but Ratchet kept looking around, like he was expecting something.

_Sorry, Ratch._ She thought with a smirk, when she saw Ironhide walk over to him.

"Have you seen Mikaela, at all?" The medic asked, before Ironhide could even open his mouth.

"I believe she's with Sam. Why?"

"I just... No. It's nothing." Ratchet frowned again, and continued looking around.

Taking her cue, Mikaela turned on the mouse, listening as it started up with an almost silent hum. She moved the joystick and watched as it rolled out into the hangar. She was careful to keep it from getting stepped on, as she drove it over towards Ironhide.

Seeing the mouse, Ratchet's optics widened. He shook his head frantically, trying to find her, but then returned his optics to the mouse, even as his lips twitched.

She could just imagine the 'Oh Primus' thought that ran through his mind, and bit back a snicker as she rolled the mouse closer.

Unfortunately for Ratchet, he didn't notice Ironhide taking notice of his staring. As the large black mech turned and looked, his optics landed on the absolutely _tiny_ figure rolling his way.

Immediately, there was a high pitched scream that had all the mechs spinning towards the sound, their optics landing on the femmes, who were staring at Ironhide incredulously.

The said big black mech leapt into the air and landed in Ratchet's arms.

"_Glitch mouse! Noooo! Kill it! Kill it, kill it, killllll ittttt!"_ He screeched shrilly, arms wrapped around the medibot's neck. His wide optics followed the glitch mouse, as it made it's way to Ratchet's foot, then slowly began to climb it.

Sam made his way into the room at that point, panting with a wild, worried look. One blink towards the scene and he froze solid, his jaw dropping. On the other end of the room, Optimus ran in, battle mask and sword drawn, as he looked around wildly. Bee was right behind him, waving his plasma cannon around.

Mikaela couldn't help it and began laughing, even as she drove the little mouse up Ratchet's legs.

Ratchet made the funniest face, even as he held Ironhide, but he didn't say anything.

Seeing as how his safe place wasn't so safe anymore, Ironhide screeched again and hopped down, spinning as he quickly jumped away, almost cowering behind Optimus. "KILL THE MOUSE!!!"

With a cycling of vents, Ratchet picked up the mouse and with a small amount of energy, fried it's wiring, rendering it harmless. Then he dropped it and stepped on it, turning optics towards the weapons specialist. "Happy?"

Everyone was staring at Ironhide, as he slowly came out from behind Prime. All their optics were wide, and as they took in what happened, they all began laughing. The twins, the Corvette twins that is, filed the information away before collapsing in a useless heap on the floor. The other twins weren't far behind them.

Bumblebee had to lean against Optimus, and both were laughing hysterically.

Even the human soldiers, though not certain of what was going on, began laughing their asses off.

Glowering at them all, Ironhide cleared his throat and straightened up. "Samuel-"

"It wasn't me!" The boy friend, holding up his hands in defence.

"He's right." Ratchet finally located Mikaela and stared at her through narrowed optics, though his own lips curved up in amusement. "It wasn't him. In fact, I believe you'll find the culprit over there." He pointed directly at her.

Feeling her eyes widen, Mikaela dropped the remote and backed up a step. "H-Hey! You're the one who _made_ it!"

"Only to show you what they looked like, not for you to use..." His lips twitched again. "Against Ironhide."

There was a low, ominous growl.

"It was just a-" When all optics turned on her, she waved, squeaked and darted out of the room as fast as possible. _Never mind._ A cursing Ironhide chased her out of the room and halfway across the base.

She spent the rest of the day hiding from him.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Hope you like it.

R+R please.

Thank you.

Tenshi


	31. Twins Sunny Sides Up

**Disclaimer** : I don't own it.

**Note** : This chapter idea was inspired by **Kitten Ceez**. Hope you like it. :)

**Starfire201** - That and he's a favorite target of the pranksters. LOL

**Wolf Mystic** - LOL Thank you.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**(Sam's POV)**

"And _why_ exactly have you enlisted my help?" I asked, grunting a little as I shifted the heavy bag full of tools I was carrying. "Isn't this a one-man, err...Autobot job?"

Ratchet smirked as he held two syringes, one in each hand. "Perhaps, but I will still need your smaller hands to do this."

"Aren't they slee-charging?"

"What is sleecharging, Sam?" Ratchet cocked his head to the side before turning and walking to the door that led to the room of the twins.

"Never mind. A...slip of the tongue." It was just easier not to bother trying to explain what I'd meant. I sighed a little and fell silent as Ratchet got to work on the new security system the twins had installed, thanks to the help of a little hacking code Prowl had given us. _Well, here goes..._ The door slid open and I ducked around the corner, staying behind Ratchet as the medibot took the lead.

The smirk on his face was almost frightening as he wielded some sort of syringe, two of them in fact, and crept steadily closer to the twin recharge berths, each one holding an immobile figure. Without a sound, which is unsurprisingly difficult when your ten plus feet tall, made out of solid metal, and weight quite a bit, Ratchet injected something into the systems of the twins before placing the needles in some metallic pocket of his, and lowering a hand to me.

_Why me?_ I thought dreadfully, as I climbed up into his hands, and rubbed at an undoubtedly bruising spot on my back. _Oh, right. Mikaela's at the shop with her dad._

"Humans are remarkably fragile." Ratchet was frowning as he placed me down on the silver and black stomach of our first target. "I'll carry the bag for you, after this, and I want you to come back with me to the med lab for scans."

I winced a little and nodded, absently, as I pulled the bag off my shoulder, put it on Sideswipe's stomach, opened it, and looked up at Ratchet.

He nodded, his evil smirk back in place as he leaned down by the silver mech's feet. He began to instruct me on what tools I'd need, and what he needed me to do. Before long, I felt my eyes widen when what we were doing _really_ hit me.

Especially when Ratchet disappeared for a few moments, only to come back with two sets of tires that looked almost identical to the ones we were seemingly trying to remove.

**(The Next Morning, Normal POV)**

Arcee was rolling down the halls with Chromia and Mikaela when she heard a yell. Squealing to a stop, she yelped when her tire slid a little on the floor. As she looked down, she raised an optic at the unusually shiny floor below her.

"Wax." Chromia held on to the wall, her own optic ridge raised. She saw Mikaela slipping a little with each step. "The floor's been waxed." Reaching down, she helped Mikaela up onto her shoulder, so the human didn't risk getting squished by slip-n-sliding Autobots.

It was just in time, too.

Another yell sounded, along with a rather painful sounding crash. Both femmes looked up in time to see the door to the twins' room open, and Sunny pull a rather impressive nose dive out the door.

"My paint!"

"Look out, look out!"

Sideswipe's wheels were locked up, if the quiet squealing was any indication, but he flailed his arms as he slid across the floor, just barely managing to jump over his fallen brother's body. Then he looked up, and cried out as he crashed face first into the opposite wall.

"Ow."

"Who the frag messed with our wheels?!" Sunstreaker struggled to get up, and barely managed to get to his feet when one slid out in front of him and the other behind. His optics widened, and a surprisingly high sound emitted from his mouth when he ended up doing the splits.

It was a rather painful display, and Sideswipe, who hadn't moved from the floor, winced sympathetically as his brother went back down again. "Ouch."

"Uhm, guys?" Mikaela bit her lip, her face flushed and her shoulders shaking. "It's the floor, not your tires."

Arcee took a step forward, tested her weight, and then rolled forward swiftly. Locking up her wheels, she cackled as she slid across the floor, keeping her arms in just such a way as to keep her balance with ease.

Growling a little, Sunstreaker got to his hands and knees. "No, it's our tires." He pointed to the one leg sticking out front, that he had landed on, while rubbing at his hip with a pained expression. His other leg was still out behind him.

Chromia leaned forward and down, and she and Mikaela both took a closer look.

"Oh." Mikaela blinked. _Sam seemed pretty tired this morning, no pun intended. He mentioned something about messing with the twins...payback with Ratchet?_ "Bald tires." _Bald tires on a waxed floor, oh boy._ She nodded a little, trying to keep the knowing expression off her face.

Chromia snickered and stood back up. "Well, you two are blocking the hall, so you're going to _have_ to get up and move." She leaned against the wall, adjusting her tire so she wouldn't slip.

Another growl reached the audio receptors of the femmes, as the mechs struggled to get up. Sideswipe was the first to make it to his feet, locking up his wheels so tight, you could see the expression of concentration on his face as he flailed his arms to keep his balance.

Unfortunately, Sunstreaker was having more difficulty, and slid once again. This time, however, on his way down, he grabbed onto Sides' arm and dragged his brother with him.

"Hey!"

Sides windmilled his arms to no effect, and tripped over Sunstreaker to fall on top of him.

"Ouch! Hey, watch the paint! Get your fat aft off me!" Sunny pushed at Sideswipe.

Rolling off him, both brothers exchanged a look, and promptly let out low growls.

"Hey Mikaela."

Sam's voice startled the girl up on Chromia's shoulder, and she looked behind her to see Sam sitting on Bumblebee's own shoulder, looking warily amused. With a nod, she waited until Bumblebee held out his hand, before quickly crossing and joining her boyfriend, giving him a hug and a kiss. "You did this, didn't you?" She asked quietly, listening to the twins bickering from the floor of the hall.

He smirked a little. "Tell me something, how do you like your eggs?"

'Unfertilized' was the first thing to come to her mind, and she blushed as she looked away. Her eyes locked on the twins, and she giggled. "Sunny sides up."

The said twins heard her words, and even as the femmes started snickering, their optics dimmed, showing they were looking up her reference on the worldwide web.

"Oh, har. Har." Sunstreaker flipped them off, a human gesture he found he _really_ liked.

Sideswipe rolled his optics, but actually chuckled a little. Waving a hand at them, he got to his hands and knees, and promptly began crawling down the hall.

"Hey, Sides? Why don't you just transform?"

He paused a moment.

Mikaela felt her eyes widen when she turned to Arcee. _But with bald tires on a waxed floor..._ She saw the evil glint in the femme's optics, and kept her mouth shut, covering it with her hand as the urge to laugh nearly overwhelmed her. _Oh dear._

Managing to stand up straight, with a little effort, Sunstreaker shot the femme a look before transforming. Sideswipe didn't even look back as he followed suit. Then the two stylish Corvettes tried to speed down the hall.

"Moronic afts!" Arcee laughed.

Everyone busted up laughing, while wincing, when Sideswipe tried to hit the breaks at a corner. Because he was ahead of Sunstreaker, however, when they failed to help against the circumstances, he smashed into the wall face first. Luckily, it was a concrete wall, and being made of super hard metals saved his face. His paint job on the other hand...

Sunstreaker screeched as he tried to slam on his own breaks, and even twisted sharply to the side, trying to avoid tail ending his brother. Unfortunately, similar thing happened. Breaks were no good on the floor, and he ended up slamming sideways into Sideswipe's rear fender, scraping along and spinning until he was once again facing their audience.

There was silence for a long moment, except for the smothered laughter of one human, and hiccuped giggles from two femmes.

Then Sunstreaker began cursing up a storm. His headlights flashed red, and back, and his engine revved angrily. "My fragging paint job!!" He howled so high pitched, he could put howler monkeys to shame. "Noooooooooooo!"

Turning, Bumblebee almost made a mad dash down the hall, laughing as he carefully cupped his humans and ran for his spark.

One thing was for sure, though.

Ratchet had one _hell_ of a payback coming his way!

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Hope you like it.

R+R please.

Thank you.

Tenshi


	32. Sideswipe, Moonracer's Appearance

**Disclaimer** : I don't own it.

**Note** : I've had a couple people mention wanting to see Sideswipe and a femme interacting, but him not believing she's a femme. **hummergrey** was the one to suggest Moonracer. :)

I also don't know the difference between mech sparks and femme sparks, but I'm just saying femme sparks are white. Ok? Not necessarily true.

This one's a little shorter, but I didn't have a strong muse for it. I tried, I hope it isn't horrible. -.-'

**Wolf Mystic** - Oh Ratchet has some nice payback coming. LOL If Bay bought this idea off me and used it, I could die a happy woman. -.-' Oh there's something I'd watch over and over. I'd _love_ to see the Autobots do half these pranks! LOL!

**Topkicker26** - LOL

**Starfire201** - Oh, Sam learned his lesson...for a little while at least. Ratchet...probably not so much. LOL Morbid, but something a Decepticon _could_ do.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**(Normal POV)**

"It's truly an honor to have you here." Arcee smiled as she walked next to a tall, slender blue femme, who nodded back. "You wouldn't _believe_ the things that have happened!" She quickly began explaining about their arrival on planet Earth, only to find out the cube was gone but they were offered a new home. She explained about the human, Samuel Witwicky, killing Megatron and saving Optimus' life, and then went on about the happenings in Egypt.

Through it all, the light blue optics of the newest femme kept getting wider and wider, as she nodded but otherwise listened silently.

"And then there's this huge prank-a-thon going on." Arcee had to explain _that_, too, and got a good laugh out of it. "We're not exactly sure who's going next. Oh, we're here." Pointing to the door in front of her, she swiped her hand over the control, and waited as the door opened on it's own to let them in. "Optimus Prime, sir, meet Moonracer."

Looking up from his desk, a smile lit the Autobot leader's face as he slowly stood up and held out his hand. "It's wonderful to meet you. I'm glad to see another Autobot has survived the destruction of Cybertron."

She forced a smile, but inwardly winced at the slightly over enthusiastic greeting. He was nice enough, but there was the same look in his eyes as the others. He was definitely more than happy to see that another femme had survived, and she sighed internally as she shook his hand. "It's nice to be here, sir."

"Well, unfortunately, I'm very busy here, with the latest prank write up." Optimus cycled his vents. "Which I'm sure Arcee will thoroughly enjoy telling you about as she shows you to your room."

Arcee giggled and 'Racer couldn't help the genuine smile that crossed her features.

"Oh, you're going to love this..." Arcee grabbed Moonracer's arms and almost dragged her out of the room, as she began regailing her with stories about mechs turning femmes and horrible fair rides.

The last story she heard, before going into recharge was Arcee's own little prank, with the little alien bursting out of her holoform chest.

**(Two Weeks Later)**

"Hey, 'Racer! What's up?" Sunstreaker smirked at the light blue femme as she walked past.

Wheeljack whistled slightly. "Looking beautiful as usual."

Cycling her vents, she brushed past them, already used to the attention by now, but also growing weary of it. As she walked into the main hangar, she noticed Sideswipe talking to Ratchet and a small half smile crossed her features at the silver and black mech. She took in how tall and fit he was, recalling his graceful moves with his twin blades.

Then she cycled her vents and frowned. Out of all the mechs, he was the one who didn't chase after her. She didn't understand why. While it was nice not _every_ mech was after her, it was also frustrating, because he always acted peculiar around her.

A firm grope to her aft had her twirling and pressing a blaster to Hound's head, raising an optic.

"Sorry." He murmured. "My hand...uh, slipped?" He turned and quickly walked off.

She barely resisted pressing the trigger and replying 'So did mine'. Instead, she replaced her blaster and turned back to the two mechs she'd been watching earlier. Taking a deep, unnecessary breath, she walked over. "Hello Ratchet, Sideswipe."

Ratchet smiled broadly. "Ahh, hello Moonracer."

Sideswipe's optics narrowed suspiciously as his eyes raked her form. Cycling his own vents, he shook his head and turned away. "Later, Ratch." He began walking off.

Her spark plummeted a little, and Moonracer frowned. "Why does he always do that?"

Ratchet snickered a little. "He thinks you're a mech." When one of her optic ridges rose archly, he laughed a little more and began regailing her with tales of Bumblebee and even his own brother, Sunstreaker, while they were femmes. "It seems Sideswipe, as the humans would say, has a thing for 'blondes'."

By the time he was done, she was laughing, but it didn't last long. "How do I get him to see I'm _not_ a mech?"

"I don't know." Ratchet snickered again. "But good luck with that."

Slapping his arm, she walked off and went in search of Sideswipe. It took a little, but she eventually found him on the training field and paused a moment to watch as he gracefully twisted and turned, slicing up the targets but amazingly avoiding the 'innocent' markers, meant to represent humans.

When he stopped, she waved. "Sideswipe? Can I talk to you?" She walked over. Seeing the look he shot her, she paused, her spark falling, but then glared. "Oh, no you don't!" She growled, reaching to catch his arm when he tried to wander off. "Just so you know, I'm not a mech. Never have been and hopefully never will be." Her optics narrowed. "I was created a femme through the allspark, thank you very much." She folded her arms over her chest and raised an optic ridge.

"Riiiiiiggghht. And what's in it for you, if I _was_ that gullible?"

"Gullible? What do you mean, I swear I'm telling you the truth! Look, I heard about what happened-"

"Who hasn't?" He almost snarled, cooling jets switching on. "Not my best moments."

She snickered. "Oh, I don't know. I'd say they were pretty good." She giggled a little and raised an optic ridge. Then she shook her head. "Look, just ask anyone. In case you _haven't_ noticed, I've had my aft grabbed like half a dozen times this week alone, from other mechs. If this _was_ some stupid prank, you're not the only being fooled."

His optic ridge rose slowly, still he didn't seem to believe her.

She huffed indignantly, then smirked evilly. "Fine. Want proof?" When he stared at her unbelievingly, her smirk grew. She grasped the sides of her chest panels, pulled slightly, and moved her armor, revealing her spark.

Spluttering wildly, Sideswipe's optics went wide. "Uh....." He stared dumbly at the sight before him, all words seemingly escaping him.

Over by the entrance, Ironhide and Ratchet were staring as well, their own optics wide. Will was nestled on Ironhide's shoulder and his eyes were wide, even as his jaw dropped. "Did she...." Looking to the two mechs, he blinked in shock. "Did she just _flash_ him???"

Exchanging a look, Ironhide shrugged. "It looks like it."

Ratchet nodded. "Yes, she most certainly _did_ just....'flash him'." He snickered and walked off.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Hope you like it.

R+R please.

Thank you.

Tenshi


	33. Mikaela, The Ring

**Disclaimer** : I don't own it.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**(Mikaela's POV)**

As Sam burrowed deeper into my side, I shot a glance at him. His expression was determined, but I could have sworn his face was paler than normal. Catching Will's eye on his other side, I saw the smirk that crossed the Captain's face, and bit back my own, even as I wrapped my hands around Sam's arm, causing him to jump. "Relax." I hissed quietly, watching as Bee, sitting on the floor in front of us, turned his head a little to peer over his shoulder with one big blue optic.

"Easier said than done." He hissed back, grimacing at something on the screen.

"Oh come on, it's not _that_ scary!" I barely resisted laughing as another image flit past the screen and Sam jumped again. _Then again..._

"Would you two be quiet!" Sideswipe mock hissed from behind us, where he stood with a few of the 'bots, watching the movie with us. On his one side was Sunstreaker, and on the other was Prowl.

Ratchet sat on one side of Bee, at the front of the couch, crouching down a little to keep from hindering the view of the humans behind him. "Don't start." He warned, grabbing a wrench from his side pocket and turning to wave it threateningly at the silver Corvette.

"Enough." The tone was quiet, but enough to calm all the bots, even as Optimus glanced out of the corner of his optic, from his place on the floor, by the arm of the couch. "The humans wished to see the movie, we won't start an argument now."

"Then maybe they shouldn't be talking through it." Sunstreaker grumped, muttering an insincere apology when Optimus narrowed his optics at the yellow Corvette.

Everyone turned back to the movie for the final scene.

**Movie**

As the man, I forget his name, turned back to the tv, which had switched on on it's own, he frowned. There was nothing but static, but you could see his unease as he picked up a remote and attempted to switch it off with it. When nothing happened, he frowned deeper and walked over to the screen, hitting the power button at the bottom.

It worked, and he relaxed.

The phone rang then, startling him, and his eyes widened as he turned back to it. He began slowly walking over, remembering the last time his phone had rung ominously, and the low threat he'd received.

_'You will die in seven days'._

He'd just gotten halfway back when the tv switched on again, and he froze. There was no static this time, and he slowly looked over as he spotted the black and white well on the screen. He stood there, admittedly stupidly, as he watched long black hair seem to float from the well, before the image of a teenage girl climbed out, moving eerily. She slowly staggered towards the tv screen, her image flickering and appearing much closer, before she reached out.

**Rec Room**

A low gasp was heard from my side as Samara began to crawl her way out of the screen and stood up.

"That's creepy." Will admitted, and when I glanced over, he had a disturbed grimace on his face.

Sam wasn't even really watching. He dared glances, but kept his eyes tightly shut, and I could see he was breathing heavily. I rolled my eyes, even as I reached out and wrapped my arms around him, pulling him to me. _Takes on Megatron without a second thought, but when faced with a fictional dead girl, he's squeamish._ Fondly, I ran my hands through my husband's hair, trying not to smirk when I got a truly evil idea.

It was sick, I'll admit it, but then again...

On screen, Samara stalked towards the man, and then slowly lifted her face. I memorized whatever I could about her form and her outfit, even as the screen cut to the frantic heroine, who was desperately trying to warn the man about what was about to happen.

As the screen showed her barging in on the scene, Sam suddenly jumped and let out a piercing, high pitched scream.

Will's laughter rang out, even as the Autobots began jumping up, readying their weapons as they looked around for the threat. Even Bumblebee's mask had fallen over his face, and he crouched potectively over us and he waved his blaster around.

I rolled my eyes at Will, who held up his hands with a clearly fake innocent look. "Nice." I muttered, rubbing Sam's head soothingly. As much as I tried to make it scolding, I couldn't help the giggle that escaped me, and as if starting a chain reaction, Will began laughing too. Poor Sam, he was just the perfect victim. I gave him a soft peck on the cheek, right at the corner of his lips.

"Very funny." Sam sat up and glared at the screen, as the Autobots backed down realizing there was no actual danger. He rubbed his side and shot Will an evil look. "Har, har, har."

I laughed again, before leaning in close to Sam's ear. He had his attention fixed on Will, so he didn't seem to realize how close I was. "You will die in seven days." I quietly pitched my voice lower and scratchy, to an admittedly fair imitation of Samara's.

He froze again, and slowly turned towards me. His eyes slowly narrowed. "You too??"

I broke up laughing, leaning against his shoulder as I did so, and internally preparing for my next prank.

**(Seven Days Later)**

I smirked to myself at my amazing ability to lie through my teeth. As far as Sam knew, I was out of town on a business trip for the garage, working on someone's big rig that was in pretty bad shape. I told him it was a friend of the family, and I wouldn't be back for a little over a week. So he wasn't expecting me for another day or two.

Slipping on the ratty white dress, I bent down and began tearing at the skirt a little more, brushing at the stained greenish and grayish parts, before applying the waterproof make-up to my skin, that would make it look inhumanly pale.

"Good thing I turned down 'Jacks' offer to assist me." I thought, holding the tube of slightly costly make-up. _Knowing his luck, it'd become permanent or somehow explode._

Next thing I did was fix my hair to hang perfecly straight over my face, covering every inch of it. Then I left the room. I bypassed several confused Autobots, making my way to a games room, where the Autobots had a massive pool installed for the humans to enjoy.

As per my plan, Will and Robert had managed to get Sam into the pool, and they were on the far side, relaxing and laughing about something. Bumblebee saw me, and I pushed my hair out of my face quickly as he opened his mouth, his optics wide. Putting a finger to my lips, I made the symbol for 'shhh', and he nodded, tilting his head a little. He still stared at me, and seemed to shudder a little before shaking his head.

I carefully took a deep breath, before ducking under the water and swimming over. I tugged on Robert's leg, and he moved from Sam's side, as I slowly and quietly surfaced, keeping my hair forming a curtain over my face. I ignored the muttered oath from Epps when he saw me more clearly. Sam was still facing Will on his other side so he didn't see me, and I leaned in very closely, once again carefully pitching my voice once again.

"Seven days..." I hissed hoarsely.

Sam froze, and Will's eyes widened as they darted to me. Even the brave Captain looked a little worried, as Sam's face turned slowly towards me.

Once he saw me, he let out a high pitched, _girlish_ scream -oddly reminding me of the Decepticon pretender incident at his college- and scrambled out of the pool, backing by the wall and staring at me while pointing with a shaking hand. He opened and closed his mouth several times, but no sound came out as I quietly posed myself and jumped out of the pool, crawling as Samara did towards him. His eyes widened, and he let out squeal that almost hurt _my_ ears, before bolting back into the pool, swimming across it as fast as he could and racing out the far door.

I couldn't help it anymore and began laughing my ass off. I doubled over, pushing my hair out of my face as I laughed until I cried.

"Man, I didn't think it was humanly possible to walk on water!" Robert was laughing as well, as he walked over. "Damn! Nice one, Mikaela!"

I laughed some more, watching as Will clumsily stumbled out of the pool and lay in a laughing, useless pile on the floor. "Oh, _man_, that was priceless!"

Even Bumblebee was clutching his sides, laughing and wheezing, energon tears coursing down his cheeks.

A few minutes later, I swallowed painfully as I glanced up at the laughing men and Autobot in the room. "I don't think he's ever gonna watch a horror movie, again!" I cried out, laughing again until I had to slide down the wall and clutch my stomach.

"Dude, he screamed like a girl!" Robert was trying to help Will up, but another fit of laughter sent them both sprawling into the pool, choking and laughing as they struggled not to drown themselves.

At the far side of the room, Sam dared a look around the wall, and I quickly fixed my hair before getting up. He squeaked audibly and dashed off again, and Bumblebee collapsed to his knees with laughter.

I wasn't far behind.

I was a bit disappointed that there were so few people in the room to witness the prank, but I shouldn't have been. I should have known Bee had his own little evil streak. By the time the day was out, there were copies of a video made of it and they were circling the base.

On thing was for sure, Sam _wouldn't_ be watching horror movies with us, ever again.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Hope you like it.

R+R please.

Thank you.

Tenshi


	34. Ratchet, The Accident

**Disclaimer** : I don't own it.

**Note** : This idea was given to me by **Darklight8121**.

**Starfire201** - I don't know. I like horror movies, even though they keep me looking over my shoulder. This one was _very_ creepy, and that's why it worked so well for the chapter. :)

**Warior Queen 21** - I'm a horror movie buff, myself. Well, at least _someone_ got a good laugh out of it. LOL

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**(Normal POV)**

Snickers were heard echoing down the hall as two large figure snuck surprisingly quietly into a darkened room. One carried a bowl in his hands, and his blue optics trained on the unmoving figure lying on the berth in front of them.

_**'Come after us when we're recharging will you.'**_

Another snicker almost seemed to echo in the otherwise silent room. _**'Revenge is sweet.'**_

Oh yes, this revenge _would_ be sweet.

The bowl was carefully shifted to one hand as the duo arrived next to the recharge berth and for a moment simply stood over the prone body on it. Then, slowly, the one holding the bowl knelt down and grasped one hand of the sleeping body.

"Teach you." He murmured, placing the hand in the bowl. He then placed the bowl on the berth next to the body and stood up. "Bathroom next." He gestured with his head, leading the way into the next room. Then he shut the door behind the other form and turned on the light. "Time to get to work. Sides, you get the sink, and I'll get the shower."

Tools almost seemed to mysteriously materialize from storing spaces all over their bodies and they quickly and quietly got to work. The work they did was fairly quiet, except when Sideswip dropped a wrench on Sunstreaker's head. Sideswipe had been working on the tap of the sink, while Sunstreaker tweeked the pipes underneath. He'd dropped the wrench, which hit the edge of the sink with a clatter before falling over the edge and beaning his brother.

Yelping, Sunstreaker shot up and rubbed at his head, even as he glared at his brother and brandished the wrench threateningly. "Channeling Ratchet, now?" He hissed lowly.

"Hey, it was an accident! I'm not the one holding the wrench like a club!"

Blinking down at his hand, Sunstreaker shuddered a little and shoved the wrench back into Sideswipe's hands. "Just keep a better hold on it." He gingerly pressed at the spot in the back of his head and groaned a little realizing not only did it still hurt, but he had a small dent there. _I'll have to get Jolt to look at it later._ He thought, as he crouched back down and got back to work.

_**'Done with the taps.'**_

_**'Move on to the shower.'**_ Tightening one last pipe, he smirked to himself and carefully crawled away from the sink before joining Sideswipe at the shower and carefully helping him pull a panel lose from the wall. While his brother worked on the shower head and tap, he got to work on the pipes here.

_**'He's so in for it.'**_ Sides snickered again as he quickly finished his work, this time not losing the wrench.

Unable to help it, Sunstreaker smirked. _**'Oh yeah.'**_

When they finished with the shower, they left the bathroom again, but not before turning off the light. Entering the room where the prone figure lay, a smell hit them and they grimaced in disgust before exchanging a smirk. _**'Get the bowl and empty it. I'll work on his communications systems.'**_

Sunstreaker opened a panel on the back of one of the figure's shoulders, having to reach awkwardly to do it. He leaned in and began rearranging wires, a smirk plastered to his facial plates as he went.

Sideswipe had his own matching smirk as he grabbed the bowl carefully, pulled the hand out of it, and placed the hand carefully on the berth before returning to the bathroom and dumping the bowl.

By the time he'd returned, Sunstreaker had finished his work, and together, the twins snuck back out of the room, snickers echoing in their wake as they silently fled back down the halls.

Alone in the room, the recharging figure recharged on, unaware.

**(Next Day)**

When Ratchet came online, he became aware of one very unpleasant fact.

There was a strange wetness between his legs.

Frowning to himself, he checked his systems and almost groaned when he realized his oil tanks were much emptier than they usually were when he first onlined in the mornings. Then he mentally began to wonder what happened.

Climbing out of his berth, he immediately came to the conclusion he'd somehow lubricated himself.

His optics widened and he looked around horrified. Then he sighed in relief when he confirmed the fact he was alone. _That would have been mortifying._ He looked to his berth and winced at the oil stain where he'd been sleeping. With a sigh, he went into the bathroom to grab a towel and cleaned up the mess, before tossing the towel. He then turned on the shower, and waited for the water to warm. _Why is human technology so primitive? We really must do something about the showers at least._

Once the shower was warm, he stepped in. He immediately began scrubbing himself down. It was a few minutes before he realized something was off, and once again he ran scans.

His optics widened in horror and he yelped, jumping out of the shower and turning it off as he went. Looking down at himself, he growled in a fair immitation of an irate Ironhide when he realized instead of ridding himself of the oil stain, it had been sealed by the pollyurithane pouring from the shower.

His optics flashed a moment. _Who...?_ His mental processors cycled through the list of Autobots who could have done it. By rights, they all had the knowledge, but only a few would _actually_ use it. He had just narrowed the list to less than half a dozen Autobots, when he received a call over the communications link.

_**'Arcee to Ratchet, we have a medical emergency in the femmes' quarters!'**_ The sheer panic in the mental voice caused his medibot routines to kick in and he promptly forgot about his humiliating situation as he literally ran out of his quarters and down the halls.

Several 'bots gave him odd looks or busted up laughing, but he ignored them as he made his way towards the femmes' quarters.

_**'Ratchet, hurry!!'**_

His optics widened and he sped off, jumping over humans and bypassing many familiar faces.

"Ratchet??" Optimus' voice, concerned, called to him.

He ignored it as he turned a corner and ran down yet another hall. _Why is the femmes' quarters so fragging far from the rest of us?!_ he furiously thought as he stopped at a door, slightly panting. Swiping his hand over the panel, he raced into the room. "I'm here!"

Immediately, he froze.

Lying motionless on three berths, wakening upon his words were three femmes who appeared perfectly fine. Their optics onlined and seemed to blink as they sat up, and he could only stare wordlessly as they all sat up and looked at him.

"What the pit?!" Arcee's optics widened.

"Uh...." Chromia's jaw dropped.

Flare-up blinked and frowned. "Ratchet.... Why...." Abruptly her optics widened. "Ratchet! What the pit?!"

"Have fun?" Arcee's optics narrowed slowly as her eyes locked unerringly on his lower section.

Finall finding his voice, Ratchet frowned. "I..." _They seem perfectly fine._

"Eww! Ratchet!"

"Never would've taken you for a perv." Flare-up, at least, seemed to find the humor in all this and snickered as her optics were also locked on his lower midsection.

"Ratchet!" Optimus' voice came from behind the medibot. "What the pit is going on?!"

Turning, Ratchet felt his cooling jets switch on as he saw Ironhide, Bumblebee and Optimus all staring at him in concern, which switched to shock when they took in his state.

Looking down, his cooling jets switched up a notch as he recalled the stain. "This... This isn't what it looks like."

"Then what _is_ it, Ratchet? Get a good peep?" Arcee's voice had lowered.

Chromia simply growled, glaring at him, and upon seeing his sparkmate, Ironhide mimicked the growl, his cannons coming online.

"How dare you?!" He roared, raising his cannons. "Medibot or not, no one spies on my mate when she's in recharge!"

"I didn't!" _Oh, Primus help me!_ "I swear! Look, I woke up like this!"

"You lubricated yourself in recharge?" Optimus' optics narrowed in confusion, his lips twitching.

"No! Well...Yes, I suppose so." Frowning, Ratchet sighed. "Pit, but if I find who did this to me-" He cut off and growled as a snicker escaped Bumblebee, the little scout looking like he was struggling not to full out laugh.

It seemed to start a chain reaction. Optimus' battle mask slipped down over his face, but is optics clearly showed he was amused. Even Flare-up had the sense to laugh, still sitting on her berth.

Ratchet's cooling jets had yet to switch off, much to the amusement of everyone in the area. "So what's the emergency?" When everyone looked at him in confusion, he played an audio playback of the messages, and Arcee frowned.

"I was recharging." Her optics narrowed. "As I'm sure you saw when you barged in so uncerimoniously."

A wince was her answer.

"So someone else sent it. Ironhide, I want you to canvas the area and find out anything you can." Optimus sighed. "Ratchet...you might want to...wash up." He choked suspiciously, befure turning and walking away.

"Yes, Ratchet." Chromia spoke up with a glare. "_Please_, wash up."

"I tried." He groaned, accessing his systems and trying to override the cooling jets. "And someone rigged my shower to spray pollyurithane."

She blinked a moment, and abruptly started laughing. "Are you...?? Oh my Primus, you're screwed!"

"I bet he's pissed." Flare-up blinked as her sisters busted up into laughter. Even Ironhide couldn't help but laugh, replacing his cannons as he did so. "Oh, not literally! Well, ok, yeah, literally... Shutting up now." She murmured, her own cooling jets switching on.

The cooling jets switched up a notch, interrupting the medibot's work in overriding their systems.

"No reason to be peed-off."

"More like Peed-on." Chromia began laughing hysterically.

Groaning again, Ratchet covered his face and walked out of the room, making his way past the other Autobots and struggling to ignore the laughter of other Autobots as he stalked past him. Luckily, he managed to shut off his cooling jets, even as he changed his mind and quickly went to the med bay.

It took over two hours to remove the paint and stains from his lower body, and repaint the area.

When Ironhide came back with the news of who had done it to him, he couldn't help but cycle his vents. _Of course. Why me? Why do I even...?_ Shaking his head, he turned and went on organizing his med bay. _Do I even bother with revenge, or do I want _more_ pranks??_ He kept his attention on his work, planning later to speak to Optimus.

Turns out he didn't need to bother.

When the femmes found out what had happened, they'd taken to subdoing and repainting the twins with chemical paints so that when they woke up, they didn't suspect anything. You see, the paint went on invisible, but when in bright lights, spots showed up, making them look...well...

"Holsteins?" Ratchet choked on laughter, as he regarded Optimus.

The battle mask was in place, and Prime began to wonder if he shouldn't make it a permanent thing. With a nod, he chuckled a little, helplessly. "So, you see, revenge has already been taken."

Oh, yes, and revenge certainly _was_ sweet!

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**Note** : The invisible chemical spray is an idea from **hummergrey**'s 'If an Autobot, do NOT do the following'.

Hope you like it.

R+R please.

Thank you.

Tenshi


	35. Sideswipe, Spider 'Bot

**Disclaimer** : I don't own it.

**Note** : Totally random idea. I was reading a chapter of **hummergrey**'s 'If an Autobot, do NOT do the following' when one thing caught my attention. It was a simple thing really, just someone mentioning 'hanging off a ceiling'. I may have that worded wrong, but it brought this idea to mind.

**Note 2** : OMG! Sunstreaker lives in my town! *Squeals like a rabid fangirl!* OMG! Errr...OMP! :o This is like the third time this month I've seen the same yellow Corvette. :D And he's like the spitting image of Sideswipe (movie Sides) only in yellow! XD *dies*

**Wolf Mystic** - I'm going to have his girlish scream stuck in my head for ages! LOL

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**(Wheeljack's POV)**

I could feel my optics narrowing as I took in the screen before me. _Cartoons... How is this entertaining? _Next to me, the humans whispered amongst themselves, occasionally laughing at something they saw. I never really understood their...._entertainment._ Then again, a lot about this planet served only to confuse me.

Then, a new image popped up, and I only just barely managed to keep from jumping up in excitement as it immediately illicited an idea. As it was, I felt my optics widen and my fingers twitch.

"That's just...wrong." Mikaela murmured as she leaned into her husband's arm, pecking his cheek and giggling at the screen.

_Perhaps...not so much._ I took in what one 'character' was doing, and immediately mathematical equasions began popping into my processors. _It might be easier done than said..._ I frowned a moment. _Or was that backwards?_ Shaking my head, I remained silent as I watched the mostly confusing 'movie' the humans had insisted upon. It was a strange habit, I admitted quietly, but it did seem to have it's purposes.

As the movie ended, I watched as Mikaela and Samuel Witwicky crawled into Bumblebee's waiting hand, and then exited the room. William and Sarah Lennox were not too far behind, following their example while carefully shifting Annabelle so she wouldn't be jostled. I watched fondly as Ironhide's optics softened towards the fleshy sparkling.

Mechs and femmes split up, but I remained in the room, leaning against the wall as I regarded the mechs who remained behind, not having anything important to do. I was only half aware of them, however, as my processors began drawing detailed schematics of what I wanted. The more I thought about it, the easier it seemed.

Before long, I had the plans drawn up, ready to be initialized. I only needed the materials, and... As my optics landed on the 'Vette Twins', as the humans like to call them, wrestling around and cursing at each other in Cybertronian.

_And willing subjects..._ My optics narrowed as I pushed off the wall and began walking towards them.

The risk factor was weighed, and considering the nature of my soon-to-be experiment, it was surprisingly small. A small part of my processor wondered about the dangers, if _this_ experiment backfired, but as I saw no real disastrous outcome, I smirked as I approached, putting a hand on each twins' shoulder to get their attention.

**(Later)**

"Why did we agree to this again?" Sunstreaker groaned, carrying a load of tools into my workshop. He uncerimoniously dropped them on an empty table, then looked down at himself, seemingly examining his body. "If I scratched my paint-"

"_You_ didn't agree." Sideswipe shot, swinging his legs a little as he sat impatiently on an otherwise unoccupied berth, shooting me a wary look. He'd removed all his shiny silver armor, leaving him basically nude in his protoform, and he shivered a little. "You must be outta your mind, agreeing to help."

"Says the currently nekkie Autobot allowing Wheeljack to _experiment_ on you." Sunstreaker shot back. When both his brother and myself gave him confused looks, he raised an optic ridge. "What?"

Sideswipe snickered a little, before jolting a little. "Watch your hands!" He hissed, swatting at me half heartedly. He turned back to his brother. "'Nekkie'??"

Sunstreaker blinked, then leaned to the side a little, folding his arms over his chest. "It's a human slang for naked. As you're in nothing but your protoform, you're currently one nekkie 'bot."

"Riiiiiight-Ahh! 'Jack!"

I jumped back and swatted Sideswipe's hand out of the way, before glaring at him. "Hold still, or I might accidentally fuse the wrong wires!" He froze, his optics going wide. "I told you this is a delicate procedure."

"Doesn't _feel_ all that delicate."

Wheelie, uh..._wheeled_ around the corner at that moment, and smirked. "That's what she said!" He called, clapping his little hands together. "Do I wanna know? Warrior Goddess said you guys were actin' kinda suspicious."

"Get lost, glitch." Sunstreaker stomped in the general direction of the little blue former 'con, before turning his attention back to the matter at hand. "Wheeljack got an idea. Enough said."

Wheelie glared at the much larger yellow 'bot, but seemed to have long since grown a better sense of self preservation, and for the sake of his spark, chose to remain quiet. He did, however, wheel back out, no doubt intending to warn Mikaela to stay away from this portion of the base. It no longer bothered me, as I admittedly made a lot of mistakes in my experiments.

That thought in mind, I mentally went over the plans again, as I began working once again on Sideswipe's wiring. I picked up a small canister and inserted it in a small slot, welding it into place, before attaching wires to it, and making sure the connections travelled properly all the way up his arms.

"Are you done yet?" Sunstreaker inquired in a bored voice.

Raising an optic ridge, I resisted the urge to cycle my vents. "Not yet." I kept working.

A few minutes passed.

"Are you done yet?" Sideswipe spoke up, hissing a little as I accidentally pulled on some sensitive wires.

"Not yet." I felt my optics narrow, hearing a snicker behind me.

A few more minutes passed.

"Are you-"

"Keep asking and I'll make _sure_ I wire something backwards." I warned, glaring at Sideswipe, although it had been Sunstreaker to speak. "If you like having free motion range in this arm, I suggest you quiet down." Seeing the look in his optics, I went back to work, knowing not even Sunstreaker would speak up again, fearing for his brother's safety.

Once I was satisfied with the results, I nodded and stepped back. "Alright. Time to test it out."

**(That Evening)**

The humans were gathered for their daily third meal, called 'dinner', or 'supper', depending on the person asked. I was there as well as a few other mechs, watching over our charges as they spoke lightly and laughed amongst themselves.

Suddenly, Mikaela tilted her head back, laughing at something her husband had said, but startling the entire group with a shrill screech.

Everyone looked around wildly, raising their weapons and keeping a wary optic out for the source of her fright. Slowly, several humans and mechs all looked up, eyes and optics going wide.

I followed their gaze and smirked to see the successful use of my experiment.

"Sideswipe?! What the pit are you-How'd you get up there??" Ironhide was staring with wide optics, his cannons powering down but remaining at the ready.

"It was Wheeljack." Sunstreaker spoke from the door. "One of his experiments." He shrugged a little, before looking up with a thoughtful gaze.

Several Autobots turned to me a moment, obviously curious, but then returned their attention to the 'bot on the ceiling.

Everyone was watching as Sideswipe effortlessly crawled around on the ceiling. He flung one wrist out, and laughed as Wheelie, with a startled yelp, was plastered to the wall behind him with what appeared to be webbing. "I'm not Sideswipe!" The silver and black mech grinned and turned so he was resting with his back to the ceiling, facing everyone below him. "It's Spider Mech!"

"Damn!" Sam whistled lowly, a smirk making it's way across his face. "I think someone's suffering from an identity crisis." He looked down at his now giggling wife. "Static Mech, and now Spider Mech?"

"What's next, Super Mech?" Mikaela agreed, gigglnig again.

"Spider mech, spider mech." Will busted up laughing. "Does....whatever a spider mech does!" He doubled over, and moved safely out from underneath the ceiling-bound mech. He gently picked up Annabelle and helped Sarah to her feet before moving them as well.

"Can he swing, from a web?" Epps added.

I felt my optics go wide when a truly inspired look crossed Sideswipe's facial plates. I saw him eye the far side of the room a moment, before lifting a hand. _Uh-oh!_ "Sideswipe, no!"

It was too late.

With a fling of his wrist, Sideswipe shot out a string of webbing. It stuck to the far corner of the ceiling, and he tugged lightly on it before letting go of the ceiling.

Everyone watched, quickly moving out from underneath the mech, even as he laughed and swung down and forward. They grabbed those not moving, and almost raced behind the other standng mechs as Sideswipe attempted to try the theory out.

Suddenly, the webbing snapped, and with a startled cry, he was sent careening into the opposite wall with a loud crash. Luckily, he didn't break the wall, but he did let out a pained groan as he slowly slid down it, only to topple over backwards and lay twitching on the floor.

Everyone stared in shock as Ratchet cursed and ran over to check on him. Then, as if a massive roar was let out, all the humans and half the mechs began laughing. Even Will and Robert were leaning against each other, laughing so hard they had to support each other from falling over.

Casting them a glance, Mikaela raised an eyebrow. "Can he swing, from a web?"

"No he can't, he's a mech." Sam finished, doubling over in a fit of laughter.

"Watch out, there goes the spider mech!" Will finished, backing up and leaning against the wall as he laughed.

One thing was for certain, _no one_ wanted to be a fly on _that_ wall.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Hope you like it.

R+R please.

Thank you.

Tenshi


	36. Skids and Mudflap, Waterpark

**Disclaimer** : I don't own it.

**Note** : I always get the Chevy twins confused, and noticed I had them mixed up in this chapter. Sorry if there's any confusion, I tried to fix it.

Also, my muse is currently on vaca, so I'm not sure when I'll be back at writing. I have 4 chapters done, and no muse to really write at all at the moment, so after those 4 it might take a while before I post again. I have more ideas, so don't think I'm done, but it might be a while before my next update. I _am_ working a little on my multichapter fics, but unfortunately, my two most popular are....well....

One deals with my little virus adventure, and is a 'real world' OC who ends up in the Transformers world. It seemed like a different idea...until I came across a fiction that is scarily alike it. -.-' The other deals with Mikaela being more than she appears, and an OC brought in from another dimension, but again... It's a lot like other ideas out there. -.-'

Also, there's the Miss Cybertron fic, but that one I'm wary about because it would rely _heavily_ on reader support, and I don't have anything more than about 3 chapters written before I get lost with it, so I'm very uncertain about posting it.

Although, I _did_ recently dream of an idea involving Deja Vu, of an OC going car shopping, spotting a gorgeous Solstice but it being too expensive, then getting it because it pulls weird tricks in the store... Hmmm...

Well, enough rambling. Hope you enjoy this. :)

P.S. .... Requested by **Riku's Music Lover**

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**(Normal POV)**

"So our allies are enjoying a local waterpark?" Optimus looked over his shoulder and paused as Prowl rounded a corner and joined him. "That's good. I'm glad to hear they are having some time off, to themselves. There's been far too much stress here lately."

Prowl nodded. "I believe this trip will do them well. Even the femmes went along, using their human holoforms, so they could watch over sparkling designated Annabelle."

Optimus chuckled a little. "She has everyone under her spell." He nodded a little, feeling his own spark pulsing with joy at the thought of the brave, sweet little girl. "And so... What shall we do today?"

"I have Sunstreaker and Sideswipe repainting the main hangars, I should go check up on them. What did you assign Skids and Mudflap, to keep them busy?"

Pausing, Optimus shuttered his optics, before turning to his second in command. "I thought you saw to the twins." He shook his head. "Both sets of twins." He quickly amended. "I haven't seen Skids or Mudflap since this morning."

Frowning, Prowl shuttered his own optics. He quickly accessed their tracking systems, and cycled his vents when he realized they weren't on base. "They're gone."

Shaking his head, Optimus entered the main hangar. "They aren't the usual pranksters. What kind of trouble could they get into?"

Freezing in the doorway, both mechs observed the Corvette twins, as they argued and threw paint at each other. The walls were about half done, but the floors were finished, and so were the jeeps unfortunately left there as well.

Cycling his vents, Prowl shot his leader a loot. "What is the human saying...? 'Famous last words'?"

**(Waterpark)**

"Dude, did'ja see tha vid??" Skids brushed his shaggy dark green hair out of his eyes, and looked around with a goofy smirk. "Tha one with tha blind guy??"

"Tha blind guy who-" Mudflap smirked back, passing by a trio of girls who eyed him and his brother oddly before walking on. "Uh-huh." He bobbed his head in a quick nod. "We just gotta find tha perfect slides."

Skids was watching the girls, who seemed oddly fascinated in his hair. They didn't seem bothered by the deep red of his brother's hair, but apparently his green hair was an oddity. _Weird femmes._ He thought as he shook his head and then turned back to his brother. "Well? What'cha waitin' for?! Let's look."

They went around the waterpark, sneakily avoiding any of the elder 'bots, especially when they saw the vengeful glare on Ironhide's face. They also avoided the triplets, and the sparkling they were looking after.

Finally, after checking out a few rides and finding them too quickly populated, they got situated next to a rather calm looking path. It had about three and a half feet of water in the bottom and seemed to be made so there was just enough of a current to push the odd flotation devices gently down the path, to the end. It was quiet, and remote...

"It's perfect!" They hissed in sync, exchanging a look and high fiving each other.

Skids immediately set his brother up with a set of holographic sunglasses and a special stick the humans used when they were 'blind'. Standing back, he looked at his handywork. "No, no, no!" He walked over and pushed his brother, lightly. "Yer not s'posta check out girls. Yer s'posta not see."

"Awww, but she was hot, and she was checkin' me out!"

_As if. Her eyes were clearly fixed on _me_. _"Focus!" Looking around, he smirked as he spotted a hose nearby. Racing over, he grabbed it, ran back, and began feeding it up the pant leg of Mudflap's pants, letting him take over when it got high enough.

That was one down point of being holographic forms, they couldn't actually lubricate, and holographic 'pee' wouldn't have the desired effect. Once his brother was ready, he raced over to the tap and waited.

The first down the path was a young woman, reclining in her plastic tube with her head back. _**'Show time.'**_ He struggled not to laugh as he turned on the tap, and Mudflap played the part of a blind man taking a leak.

Mudflap was holding the hose in just such a way, no one would be able to tell what he was _holding_ without a good close look. As the girl floated closer, he aimed the hose, and watched as she jumped and squealed.

She looked around wildly, first checking the sky, and then spotting him. Her eyes widened in horror when she took in the sight, before she screamed and jumped away. "You jerk! Oh, _ewww_!" She splashed water all over herself, and grabbed her ring, before practically racing down the path and out of sight.

As she disappeared, the twins busted up laughing, and Skids turned off the hose. He raced over and quickly slapped his brother high five, a rather unique human tradition, before racing back. _**'Score!'**_

_**'That was sweet!'**_ Mudflap agreed with a broad grin, before quickly schooling his features. _**'Here comes another one.'**_

The hose was turned back on, as an older man floated along. When the water hit him, he looked around a moment, before spotting the boy at the side... His eyes widened, and he cussed sharply, jumping out of the ring and doing a rather funny belly flop in the water. Spluttering, he grimaced and glared at the boy, before wading off, waving his free hand wildly with a glare.

Feeling a familiar energy making it's way closer, via the path, Mudflap snickered and got ready. He spotted Chromia floating along, and struggled not to laugh as he 'peed' on her.

She cried out in shock, turning a narrowed gaze upon him. For a moment, she stared confused, then her eyes narrowed even more as she took in the tail of hose coming from his pant leg. Following it, her eyes flashed warningly as she spotted Skids by the hose, and she growled before abandoning the ring and wading through the water towards them.

"You little fragging glitches!" She shouted, hopping out of the pool.

Mudflap's eyes widened, and he turned and took off, forgetting about the hose in his pants until it caught and he went flying backwards, landing painfully on the ground. "Oh, man!" He groaned, managing to pull the hose out. "Skids, help me man!"

Standing a few feet away, his brother took one look at the angry femme and high tailed it out of there. _**'No way, man! She's pissed!'**_

Blinking a moment, Mudflap couldn't help but snicker at the thought. Then a tight grip on the back of his neck made him wince. "Now, now... I didn't hurt anyone." He turned his eyes on her, widening them and silently pleading. "I didn't even really pee! I can't remember, hologram!"

People turned their way, and Chromia slapped him on the back of the head. "Shut it!" She hissed, grabing him up and dragging him across the park.

He stumbled along after her begging her to go easy on him, and struggling to keep his balance. When she stopped suddenly, he tripped and fell over on his face. "Ow! Tha' hur'." He mumbled, before slowly sitting up. He then froze, hearing quiet but angry Cybertronian being spoken over his head.

When the dark, deep voice responded equally as angry, he winced and closed his eyes. _Oh Primus, I'm in for it now!_

**(Later)**

As Mikaela and Sam walked acros the park, towards the parking lot, Mikaela froze, her eyes widening in shock.

Looking at her expression, Sam looked the other way and scanned the park a moment before his own eyes widening. "What...the....??" He slowly made his way over to the large fountain, and began laughing.

Skids was splayed out in the water, laying on his back. Luckily the water was shallow and only came halfway up his prone body. The hilarious thing was he was glaring at us, his limbs twitching but otherwise lying prone. He was also lying directly under the spray of the fountain, so this one water spout was landing directly on his face.

The fountain that happened to be shaped like a bunch of little cupids peeing into the pool.

"Do I wanna know?" Sam asked, looking back at Mikaela, and blinking at Chromia and Ironhide's amused expressions, almost jumping as he hadn't heard the two holoforms approach.

"Revenge." Was all the femme said, before kissing Ironhide on the cheek and sauntering off. "We're just seeing how _he_ likes it."

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Hope you like it.

R+R please.

Thank you.

Tenshi


	37. Will, Runway Port A Potty

**Disclaimer** : I don't own it.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**(Will's POV)**

I frowned to myself as my stomach gave a slight heave. _Mystery meat is right._ I belatedly wondered what on God's green Earth could inspire me to actually take a bet with Epps and _eat_ the meat. Especially now, when it threatened to come right back up again.

My eyes danced over the large loading plane in front of me, where Optimus Prime was currently boarding, with Prowl and Ironhide behind him. They were all in vehicle mode, and were getting ready to be shipped out on the most recent mission. This one, unfortunately, was 'bots only, so I and the other human soldiers got to sit it out.

Not that I was complaining. Currently I was eyeing a nearby port-a-potty with what I'm sure was a disturbingly longing look, but my stomach gave another heave, and I sucked in a slight breath, trying to stave off the pains climbing slowly up my stomach.

"Man, I wonder what the cooks were thinking." Epps looked at me a long moment, and then smirked. "Or you, for that matter. You _are_ aware you're the only one who actually _ate_ the meat, right?"

"Whoever said green meat was 'still good' needs to have their eyes, nose and stomachs tested." My own eyes narrowed. "Or they're a Decepticon in disguise." _Perfect way to get rid of the humans. Serve them rotten meat and watch them all die of food poisoning._

The thought sent another bout of nausea through me, and with a pretty abrupt groan, I took off for the port-a-potty, ignoring the laughter behind me. _Yeah, yeah, yuck it up, buddy._ I thought sourly, dashing inside and locking the door. _You'll get yours_.

**(Normal POV)**

The few Autobots actually going on the mission boarded the plane successfully, communicating with each other via an internal link. No one really thought much of the absence of Will, especially when a snickering Epps mentioned food poisoning.

Ratchet _did_ volunteer to remain behind, a little worried about what this 'food poisoning' could potentially do to one of the humans, but Robert waved it off, telling him it wasn't severe. Will just needed a little time and some tums, he assured the doc bot.

Reluctantly, Ratchet joined the others on the plane, while on the runway below, Autobots began gathering their charges. Bumblebee picked up Sam and Mikaela, giving out a little warble to show his displeasure at having been left behind. Jolt, and the Corvette twins remained a good distance back, with the majority of the human troops.

A few single soldiers were boarding the plane now, acting as helpers on board for the Autobots, and the pilots were chatting outside, before they got ready.

Skids and Mudflap parked next to the port-a-potty, and transformed. They watched the plane longingly, before turning somewhat confused and disturbed optics to the sounds coming from the potty itself.

_**'Do I wanna know?'**_

_**'Probably not. Don't wanna stand here, either.'**_ Mudflap moved a little distance away, not taking notice of the....inconvenient placing of the potty, as compared to the plane. _**'Been there before, bro. It's nasty.'**_ He shuddered a little, remembering the _smell_ that filtered out of the last port-a-potty, when someone had made similar sounds.

It was beyond both of them why humans used these things. They were far from sanitary, as Ratchet had a field day pointing out, smelled _aweful_, and were far more inconvenient than convenient.

Giving his brother a look, Skids silently debating starting an argument, but sighed a little when he remembered the strict lecture he and his brother had, when it came to behaving. Not to mention, what Mudflap had mentioned didn't sound all that pleasant. When the smell hit him, he suddenly realized _why_ his brother suggested moving.

A rather sickly groan caught his audio sensors, but he covered his face plates and quickly and silently dashed off to join his brother, trying not to gag. _**'Oh, ew!'**_

_**'Warned you'**_ Came the sing song reply, causing him to smack his brother on the arm. "Ow, hey!"

"That's just nasty!"

Epps looked to one of the soldiers, and smirked. "He lost it." He watched as the soldier walked over, looking incredulous. _Literally._

"Are you serious?? I thought that man had an iron stomach!"

"Apparently not. You should'a _seen_ the way he ran off!" Holding out his hand, Epps raised an eyebrow. "Pay up."

Grumbling a little, the soldier took a twenty from his pocket and handed it to the lieutenant. "Man, they should use that stuff as biological warfare!"

Taking the twenty, Robert stuck it in his pocket and laughed. "I'm not sure they could." When he got a confused look, he shrugged. "I'm not sure it's biological." He and the nameless soldier laughed, taking a step back as the pilots waved to them and began boarding the plane.

Turning, they laughed as they made their way over to the line of Autobots and humans, watching from a safe distance as the plane started up. One of the newcomers opened up a video camera and began filming as the jet engines started up, causing massive winds to swirl around the plane.

"Huh, is it a good idea for that to be there?" Jolt pointed to something on the runway.

Everyone looked, and Robert felt his eyes widen when he realized just how close to the plane the port-a-potty was. His jaw dropped as the engines roared to life, and the potty shook a little before sliding back an inch. He felt torn between running screaming, warning Will about what was happening, and falling over laughing, even as the potty slid back another inch, jerkily.

Suddenly, the door flew open, and Will stumbled out. He raised a hand to cover his face, while seemingly trying to hold himself together. Then he stumbled backwards and tumbled, being blown over by the force of the wind.

"Hey!" Will's voice was drowned out by the sound of the engines.

Epps lost it, laughing out right as he watched toilet paper attached to Will's shoe fly up and slap the Captain in the face, before said Captain took another tumble, this time sumersaulting backwards as he and the port-a-potty were blown over again.

"HEY!" Will staggered to the left, just managing to barely avoid being hit when the port-a-potty tipped over and slid even further.

Jolt ran out towards the plane, and managed to grab the Captain, holding him safely as he ran back to the others, who watched in morbid fascination as the potty slid further and further away on it's side, streamers of toilet paper blowing away.

As Jolt reached their sides, he gently put Will down, who staggered a little, took three steps to his left, and collapsed at the blue mech's feet.

"Oh maaaannnn!" Will closed his eyes and shook his head a little.

"Have fun?" Epps laughed, raising his hands in defence when Will shot him a look and all but growled at him. "What? I was just asking a question. You're just lucky you weren't inside that thing when it tipped!"

They turned and saluted the plane as it began to travel down the runway, lifting off after a few moments.

"Tell me about it." Will staggered to his feet, an unhealthy shade of green as he leaned against Jolt's legs.

"I know." Robert shot his friend a look. "That would've been a really crappy way to go." He busted up laughing again, even as Will made a face, flipped him off, and closed his eyes, sinking back down against the giant metallic foot.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Hope you like it.

R+R please.

Thank you.

Tenshi


	38. The Chevy Twins, Doors

**Disclaimer** : I don't own it.

**Note** : Requested by **Dragonrider2203**.

**Starfire201** - Oh, probably. Revenge seems to be plentiful around here. LOL

**Topkicker26** - I'll say. Good thing he wasn't pissed. XD

**Wolf Mystic** - I never even thought of that. Walk into a pool, pretending to be blind. Heh, either way he got his aft kicked.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**(Normal POV)**

"Primus, I'm bored!" Skids sat hunched in a corner his optics staring a hole in the cement floor in front of him. "There's gotta be somethin' to do." He looked up and locked optics on his brother. "What'cha say, bro?"

Mudflap's head shot up from where _he_ had been staring at the floor, listlessly. "Well? What's there ta do? Most'a the bots're gone on a mission, and the humans just can't take jokes."

"I know." Skids snickered a little. "I saw the video of Mikaela Banes' pranks on her husband, Sam. He's _still_ tryin' to think of a revenge." He sighed and looked back down. "But that doesn't help us with the boredom."

"We need a prank."

"And a victim."

They both seemed lost in thought for a long moment, staring at the pale grey of the cement floor before them, in the empty hangar. Skids trailed his fingers over the rough cement floor, until the sound of a door opening caught his attention. He turned to the right and saw a far corner door opening, his optics narrowing when he saw a door on the opposite wall also tried to open at the same time, causing both doors to catch and a small moment of struggle before the people on the other sides realized what was going on.

_Huh..._ Something about the scene before him sparked a faint idea, but he still didn't know what to do with it.

"So Ironhide took the spare room across from the femmes' room?" Jolt walked by, his attention fixed on the silver bot across from him.

Jazz nodded. "Yeah. Afta Ratch's lil run in wit tha femmes, and tha oil thing-" He snickered. "'Hide felt insecure about bein' so far from tha gals. He moved directly inta tha room across from them."

Feeling his optics narrow, Skids watched as the mechs left before turning to his brother, who was eyeing him suspiciously. "I got an idea." Jumping up, he walked over and practically hauled Mudflap to his feet, before dragging him off and explaining his plan.

It was about ten minutes later that they halted, realizing there was one fault with their plan.

"Which way do their doors open?" Mudflap scratched his head with a frown.

The one thing they knew about that hall was that it was more old fashioned. They didn't have the sliding doors there, because of technology limitations.

That was a good thing. The idea they had wouldn't work on sliding doors. They had to have knobs and be opened the old fashioned way. Skids even snuck to one of the military trucks and rummaged through the bed of the truck before grabbing a large coil of rope.

"We'll just have to check." Mudflap began leading the way.

In no time they reached the hall where the femmes and Ironhide were staying. A quick check over the internal comms told them both the femmes _and_ Ironhide were in their rooms, and upon closer inspection, the twins exchanged a smirk when they realized both doors opened inwards.

As silently as they could, they crept into the hall and each took an end of the rope, tying it securely to each door knob and making sure there was no slack in between. Then they crept back and paused again.

"We need a believable reason to get them, to open the doors." Skids frowned a little. "Hm... Decepticon attack might work." He winced and glared at his brother, as a sharp pain shot down his head. "Hey!

"Only if ya wanna be the one 'Hide uses for target practice." Mudflap shot back. "An' the others when they find out the attack wasn't real."

Skids winced and shook his head. "Ok, you think you're so smart? Lets see _you_ come up with an idea."

Mudflap seemed to think about it a moment. Then he smirked. He seemed to tinker with something around his throat a moment. Clearing his throat, he smirked even bigger as he opened his mouth. _**'Ironhide? Chromia?'**_ Optimus Prime's voice issued forth, almost the exact same tone and volume. _**'If you two are in your rooms, I need your assistance with something.'**_ Tinkering with his throat again, Mudflap winced then smirked as he and his brother quickly hid around the corner.

"Ok, I gotta admit, that _was_ good." Skids muttered reluctantly.

Inside the femmes' room, Chromia looked up from her berth, where she was reclined, reading up whatever she could find on combat movements and strategies on the Worldwide Web. _Optimus?_ She felt her optics narrow as she slowly got up. She walked over to her door and grasped the knob.

In Ironhide's room, he frowned and hopped up from his berth, quickly walking over to the door. _**'On my way, sir.'**_ He grasped the knob and turned it, before pulling the door open.

Unfortunately, as the twins had planned, they reacted at the same time and both tried to open the door, causing the rope to snap even more taut than it had been. Both doors froze, unable to be opened, and causing both Chromia and Ironhide to pause in confusion.

"Did ya set up the cameras?" Skids turned to Mudflap and nodded at his question. "The security cameras are recording?" Another nod. "Sweet!"

They snickered and stood out of the way as the veritable tug-of-war on the doors began.

"Glitches! What the frag?!" Ironhide grabbed the door knob in both hands and began furiously pulling on it, unaware that his sparkmate was across the hall, balancing her feet on the door and pulling with all her might.

"You son-of-a-" She growled and pulled harder. "Open already!"

Ironhide was about two seconds from doing the same and balancing his feet on the door, when the knob shot off with a pop, sending him tumbling head over heels across the room, coming to a hault with a pained groan, in a sitting position against the far wall.

As the rope snapped lose, Chromia yelped as she had pulled at the exact same time and ended up flying across the room.

Both mech and femme slowly shook out of their daze, looking at the knobs in their hands before getting up, hooking a finger in the door and pulling. Because the door knobs had come apart, the ends with the rope attached simply fell off, landing with a clatter in the hall, and sending the twins scattering.

The doors opened at the same time, and both Chromia and Ironhide froze a moment, staring at each other across the hall. "Uh, did you just..." Chromia's optics dropped to the floor. "Oh, I guess so."

Following her gaze, Ironhide's optics narrowed. _**'Optimus, did you need us for anything important?'**_ He sent the message out via public internal links, to make _sure_ Optimus heard him.

There was silence a moment before the reply. _**'I'm quite alright old friend. Why?'**_

_**'You didn't just call Chromia and I?'**_

_**'No.'**_ The tone turned curious.

_**'Alright. Just...making sure. Ironhide out.'**_ Ironhide's optics narrowed even more as he turned his gaze to Chromia. "Wasn't Optimus."

She nodded, her optics flashing dangerously. "So we just need to find out who it _was_." Bending down, she picked up the rope and began down the hall, more than aware that Ironhide was following her.

As they went, neither took notice of the Chevy Beat and Trax beating a hasty retreat from the base in a cloud of dust.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Hope you like it.

R+R please.

Thank you.

Tenshi


	39. Mass prank, Crazy 'Bots

**Disclaimer** : I don't own it.

**Note** : Song/Dance idea suggested by **Topkicker26**. Check out Crazy Frog's Popcorn video on youtube to see what I'm going for. In fact, I fully recommend watching the video first, if you can, _then_ reading this chapter. *Snickers* I _just_ finished writing this chapter late last night, and I can't help but laugh when I read it. LMAO! *Rolls around on the floor laughing, then sees the glares of three pissed off bots, eeps, and runs for her life*.

**Wolf Mystic** - LOL. Go for it. I'd try it myself, but I don't have the proper door set up anywhere near. LOL

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**(Mikaela's POV)**

I watched as Wheeljack walked around a corner, his optics darting up every now and then in order to keep from stepping on humans, but otherwise seeming preoccupied with something. Feeling my eyes narrow, I watched as he paused, tapped something on the data pad he was holding, and let out a sound that sounded suspiciously like an excited gasp, before he darted off even quicker. _Huh, wonder what he's up to?_

Shaking my head, I went back to wandering down the hall. I spotted Ironhide, along with Epps relaxing in the rec room, along with several of the other mechs, but kept walking. Sam was out with Bee, spending some quality boy-and-his-car time, and Optimus was in yet _another_ meeting. The Corvette twins were brigged for their latest prank, and the Chevy twins were forced off base under the watch of Hound to keep them in line.

I sighed a little as I rounded a corner, and let out a tiny, surprised yelp as I almost ran into Sarah. "Oh, Sarah, hey." I smiled a little.

She smiled back before heaving a sigh. "Hey Mikaela, what's up?"

"Trying to walk off my boredom." I shrugged a little and leaned against a wall as I crossed my arms over my chest.

She nodded. "Me, too."

"Everyone's just..._gone_. There's gotta be something to do." I looked around. "I mean, the only one I saw _not_ sitting in the rec room was Wheeljack."

Sarah nodded, and then snapped her fingers. "Oh! I heard he was working on something. I'm not sure what, I mean... I was told, I just forgot." Her eyes lit up. "Why don't we go ask him?"

"'Cause he was heading to his lab and humans aren't allowed around his lab, with no Autobot guides." Suddenly, I straightened up. "Although I think Jolt and Ratchet are free. I walked by the med lab earlier, and even _they_ were insisting how bored they were."

"Well then, lets go!" Sarah linked her arm through mine and we rushed off towards the med bay to talk hopefully Jolt into coming with us.

It didn't take us long. The moment we entered the bay, both medic and apprentice were all over us, asking a million questions about what was wrong and scanning us over and over, until Sarah and I were tingling so much, our bodies almost felt numb and we could barely stand. It took us a few moments to insist that other than the scan-induced tingling, we were fine, and just wanted a guide.

Jolt jumped at the chance, literally. I was lucky we were on the berth, or we might've been two flattened squishies.

Unfortunately for Ratchet, before the medibot could say a word, Jolt had carefully scooped us up and was long out of the med bay, almost flat out running to Wheeljack's lab.

I could only hold on to his thumb as he moved fast enough to put even Blurr to shame, and laughed as Sarah clung to me to keep from falling off the bouncing metal hand. "Whoa there!" I caught Jolt's attention. "Where's the fire?"

He tilted his head a little before stopping and looking around. "I detect no fire, and there are no alarms."

_Always so literal._ "I meant, why are you in such a hurry?"

"I just wanted to help you."

Smirking a little, I folded my arms over my chest. "You do realize the sooner you get us there, the sooner you can return to the med bay with nothing else to do." I raised an eyebrow and laughed as his optics widened and he began moving at a much slower pace. In fact... "Jolt? You can keep it slow_er_, but we _would_ like to get there some time before next millenium."

He smirked a little and began walking at a normal pace, which was about the same speed as a flat out _run_ for a human. In no time, we were entering the lab, and watched silently a moment as Wheeljack was looking into a large magnifying glass, checking out what appeared to be a microchip of some kind.

"Uh, 'Jack?"

He startled and spun to face us. "Oh, hello. I wasn't aware you arrived."

"We noticed." I smiled at him. "What're you working on?"

His facial fins lit up brightly in his equivalent of a smile. "Actually, it was something created a while ago, back on Cybertron." He turned back to his project. "We created a microchip that could syncronize signals and override processors." Glancing over his shoulders, Sarah and I must've looked pretty blank, because he sighed and turned back to us. "A kind of mind control device if you will."

"Are those....legal? I mean, Optimus is allowing this?" I raised an eyebrow.

"Oh, they're harmless. They're used to temporarily override processor commands, but if the chip is removed, then everything will return to normal. We were thinking they could possibly be used to, as the humans say, 'brainwash' a Decepticon prisoner for information."

_Brainwash... It's temporary..and harmless...._ I looked over what appeared to be two probably finished chips, and the third that he was working on. _Boredom inspires some truly evil plans._ I thought as I struggled to hide a smirk. "They need to be tested though, first, right? To make sure it works?" I caught Sarah giving me a funny look out of the corner of my eye and almost winced at the sheer evilness of the smile that slowly overtook her face.

Wheeljack looked at me a long moment, his optics slowly narrowing. "What do you suggest?"

My own smirk crossed my face as I was suddenly accosted with a mental image. "We..._test_ them. We grab a couple of bots when they least expect it, attach the chips and override them."

"That isn't wise. They'll be very upset."

I smirked. "It's a prank, 'Jack. Don't tell me you've never wanted to see the bots make fools of themselves." I paused a moment and thought about it. "Well more so than usual, anyways. It's harmless, right? We get three bots, chip them when they're offline for one reason or another, and then sync the overrides to all do the same thing, whatever we want." Looking to Sarah, I giggled. "Ever see the Crazy Frog video for 'Popcorn'?"

Her jaw dropped and her eyes widened. She collapsed into a tiny ball of giggling squishly, curled up against me in Jolt's hand. Then she really busted up laughing and gazed at me. "Ironhide's _gotta_ be one of them!"

I felt my own laughter bubble forward. "And Optimus!" I paused a moment, wiping tears from my eyes. Then I imagined it again, and almost rolled off Jolt's hand, laughing my ass off. "Who's...gonna be the...third?" I gasped out, struggling to breathe and giggling the entire way.

"Isn't it obvious?" When I looked up, Jolt was smirking evilly. "Ratchet, of course."

"You're fragging kidding me." 'Jack's optics widening in horror. "Now way. I'm not getting _him_ of all people! He'll weld Wheelie to my aft!"

I pouted and widened my eyes, unleashing my most lethal weapons on Wheeljack. Looking up at him, I even included a tiny quiver of the bottom lip, which I pushed out a little to catch more attention. "Please, Wheeljack?" _Think sad thoughts, think sad thoughts. Dead puppies, dead puppies, dead puppies..._ My eyes began filling with tears. "_Pllleeeeassssseeee?"_

He looked at me a long moment, and I almost began to fear my puppy dog eyes weren't working. The longer he stared at me, the more and more I felt my heart drop with dread. Then he sighed, and it was all I could do to keep from jumping for joy, when I realized he was conceding.

"Fine. I'll finish this one and we shall get them when I am done."

"Optimus should be out of his meeting by now." Sarah added, a michevious grin on her face. "We'll need to keep them split up, so they can't warn each other, and we'll have to catch them by surprise."

"As an apprentice medic, I have access to more than enough in the way of sedatives. As long as they don't see me coming, I should be able to catch them off guard." Jolt was hodding to himself. "And they are immediate, so there is no need to fear retribution."

"Not _yet_, anyways." Wheeljack added quietly, from where he was working on the third chip. "Just wait until after."

**(A Few Hours Later)**

"Why again did _we_ have to be the bait?" I grumbled, rubbing my wrapped ankle. "Optimus almost _landed_ on me." I shuddered a little, as I recalled how quickly he went down. If it hadn't been for Wheeljack, who all but materialized out of thin air and caught the boss bot, I shudder to think what would have happened. I shuddered again. "That was just too close."

"Imagine how I feel!" Sarah shot back, looking around with wide eyes. "Ironhide was _holding_ me when Jolt struck! You hear about people's lives flashing before their eyes, but I never thought I'd actually experience it."

"Well, you wanted this." Wheeljack held on to a small remote and raised an optic ridge at us. "Someone needed to be the bait, and someone needed to catch them when they offlined. Were you planning to volunteer for the catching?"

I thought about it, shuddering and giggling a little, hysterically, when I imagined tiny little me standing under Optimus with my arms out in an 'I'll catch you' fashion. "Um, no. I'm good."

"Ok, so they've been neutralized and implanted with the chips and the chips have been set to the parameters you requested." Wheeljack's optics narrowed as he handed me the small remote.

Well, small for him. It still took me two hands to hold on to the damn thing.

"Thanks." I struggled to get the remote in a more comfortable hold, and then hopped into his hand. Together with Jolt, who carried Sarah in _his_ hand, we made our way to the rec room. "How much longer?" I looked up at the scientist.

"Any moment." Jolt answered, smirking a little.

I nodded and sat back on the sofa. I noticed vaguely that the tv was on some documentary or another, but didn't bother doing more than staring at it blankly as I mentally counted down to when all three mechs would be entering the room. I carefully shifted the remote, thankful Wheeljack had made it easy to figure out. There was a big red 'Activate' button, which I felt was pretty self explanitory, and then a 'Deactivate' button.

He had a secondary remote, a _real_ remote for actual chip use, with all kinds of buttons to help control the chip more efficiently. We were just running a prank and trial run in one, so I didn't need anything big and fancy.

Checking my watch, I rolled my eyes when I realized ten minutes had passed. _Come on._ I bit back a sigh, noting that Sarah was looking about as impatient as I felt. Then the floor shook a little, and I turned eagerly, watching as two bots came into the room. _Yes!_ I mentally cheered as Optimus, rubbing the back of his neck, walked in with Bumblebee at his side.

I waved at them, my eyes refusing to even linger on Optimus as I waved Bumblebee over, so he could unload his usual passenger on the sofa seat next to me. "Hey guys." I gave Sam a nice, lingering kiss and then hugged Bee's fingertips before he could pull them away. "Good to see you're back."

They looked at me a long moment, before Bee chirped a little and waved, heading off to speak with Arcee about something. Sam, on the other hand, narrowed his eyes at me a moment. "Ok, spill."

I watched Optmus look at us a second, his metallic eyebrows furrowed, before shaking his head and turning to follow Bumblebee. Once his back was to us, I smirked and winked to Sam, gesturing to the remote Optimus obviously hadn't noticed, considering Sam was obstructing his view of my lap. "Prank." I whispered in his ear. "Just watch."

As soon as the words were out, I watched as Ratchet and Ironhide walked into the room, seemingly in discussion about something. I bit my lip, exchanging a glance with Sarah, and Jolt and raising an eyebrow at Wheeljack, who chose that precise moment to vacate the room as fast as he could, without being noticed of course.

"Chicken wuss." Sarah muttered.

I giggled a little. "So now what? Just activate it, or wait for a better moment?"

She seemed to think about it, and we both took in how Ratchet and Ironhide walked over to Optimus. "Activate it. They're together and in the same room as at least half a dozen bots." She smirked and settled down a little. "This should be good."

I hit the bright green button, and waited.

Then I waited some more.

Frowning, I took in how they continued talking, then looked down at the remote. I hit the 'Activate' button again, but still nothing happened. Shooting a glance at Jolt, I raised an eyebrow. "Don't tell me the batteries are dead."

"It doesn't run on bat-"

Suddenly loud music filled the air. The song to Crazy Frog's 'Popcorn' began playing, and I spun around as all three mechs stiffened up, catching the immediate attention of the other bots in the room. Loud, boisterous dance tunes echoed through the room, from each of the mechs, in sync with each other.

Then it happened.

All three of them began tapping one foot, their hips swaying a little with the motion. Suddenly, they all spun about face, saluting seemingly no one. One hand flipped out and they began snapping their fingers and snapping their hips to the side, along with the music.

Arcee fell over laughing, followed shortled after by Flare-up, even as Chromia stared at her sparkmate in something akin to horror and amusement combined. Her facial plates slackened, allowing her jaw to drop, and she stared unmoving at the dancing mechs.

Their expressions were hilarious, both mortified and shocked at the same time, even as Ironhide lowly growled but seemed unable to stop dancing. They began clapping their hands to either side of their bodies, then spun in place. All facing the left, they grabbed their afts with their hands and did hip thrusts forward, hopping with each thrust.

Epps had been leaning against the wall, and he was nearly screaming in laughter at the sight.

Will walked into the room at that very moment. He took one look at the mechs, raised an eyebrow, shuddered violently, turned and walked right back out of the room, sending his wife into hysterics bad enough that Jolt was leaning over her, apparently scanning her.

Bumblebee stared silently, seemingly not even able to laugh he was so in shock. He looked at Ratchet and the utter look of humiliation on the 'bot's face as he jumped forward again, before spinning in place once more and facing the other direction.

Optimus seemed the least pissed of them all, but the look on his face promised that squishy human or not, he found out who did this to him and they were gonna die.

I began laughing, clutching at my stomach as I watched the dancing mechs. I spotted Jazz tapping his foot to the tunes, and smirking a little, before said mech shot me a knowing look and shook his head.

Optimus, Ironhide and Ratchet then began twirling their arms in place, and stepping one foot forward to tap the ground before pulling it back and repeating the gesture with the other foot.

"Oh. My. _GOD!_" Sarah sat up straight, only to see the mechs and keel over laughing once again.

Chromia's optics seemed to splutter a moment, before darkening and she toppled over backwards.

I laughed all the harder. _No matter what, Ironhide's never gonna live _this_ down!_ I had to place the remote on the sofa and bury my face in Sam's trembling neck, laughing my ass off to the point I was in agony and struggling to breathe.

Sam wasn't much better, and he looked traumatized, even as tears coursed down his cheeks from laughter.

Prowl walked in, just as all three mechs jumped into the air and landed, sticking one hand out as if pointing to something, the other hand on their hips and thrusting their hips back and forth repeatedly. He paused, his optics widening, and without warning a loud pop was heard and the poor mech fell over backwards.

"Sides..." Sarah gasped. "And Sunny have... They have nothing....on us!" She laughed all the harder as Ironhide shot us a vengeful look and growled again.

They faced forwards once again and began performing the macarena before linking their fingers and doing a wave motion with their arms. The mechs and femmes that weren't already on their knees from the force of their laughter, collapsed and leaned against whatever stable surface they could find, wheezing from their laughter as their boss bots continued dancing.

Suddenly, Wheeljack came running back in. Without a word, he scooped Sarah, Sam and I up. "I miscalculated the length of time the chips would last!" Was the only explanation we got, before we were whisked out of the room.

"Awww, but I didn't get a chance to record it!" I groaned, realizing a moment later that I didn't even have my camera with me.

A loud chorus of growling yells reached our ears, even as Jolt ran right behind us. "Oh trust me, every other mech and femme _was_." Wheeljack smirked and dropped us off, before transforming, letting us inside and driving faster than he ever had before, _away_ from the base.

It was several hours and quite a few States later before Wheeljack stopped, and then a few days before Will insisted it was safe enough to return to base. Even so, the five -Yes _five_, even if Sam _hadn't_ been directly involved this time- of us kept a close eye on our backs at all times, for a while.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Hope you like it.

R+R please.

Thank you.

Tenshi


	40. Ratchet, the AntiNutritional Jolt

**Disclaimer** : I don't own it.

**Note** : Requested by **laureas**.

**Note 2** : You know you're addicted to Transformers when you see a yellow hummer drive by and think "Oh my God, it's Ratchet!" LMAO!

P.S. I try to keep all pennames with the requested chapters, but I get a lot of requests and without even thinking of it, tend to delete my reviews (in my email inbox) after replying to them, so I may have forgotten a few, or I may have gotten a name or two wrong. If so, if you requested a chapter and it has someone else's name on it, let me know and I'll fix it. :)

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**(Sam's POV)**

"Uh...Sides...?" Seeing the familiar form of the silver and black mech, I raised an eyebrow at what he was doing.

Which was currently running in my direction with an apparently live wire in his hand, if the electricity bouncing back and forth had anything to say about it. I took a step back and to the side, wondering if he'd suddenly gone homocidal from all the revenge pranks. Then I saw his grin.

_Yup, definitely loopy._ As the mech slowed down and raised an optic ridge, I hid in a half open doorway leading to the cafeteria. "Hasn't anyone ever told you? You shouldn't run with a live wire." Ok, yeah, the saying was 'you shouldn't run with scissors' but somehow I had a feeling live wires would do more damage to an alien _robot_ than a pair of tiny scissors.

Then I paused. _Well, depends where they get stabbed._ Shaking my head, I dislodged that train of thought before looking back up at the mech.

"Sam, hey!" He acted as though he hadn't heard a word I'd said. "Can you hold this for me?" He bent down and practically shoved the wire in my face.

Jumping back with a yelp, I glared at him. "Um, how about 'no'?"

Shaking his head, Sideswipe looked up and laughed a little, then twitched. "Oh man, I'm so slagged if..." He trailed off before snapping his fingers. "I got it!" He turned and ran back down the hall, disappearing from sight.

There was a moment of silence, and then a loud zap, a bright flash of light, a burst of a siren, and a pair of loud cries.

"Oh slag." I winced and shook my head. "I mean crap!" _You know you've been spending too much time around Autobots, when... _Shaking my head, I turned and hid in the room beyond the door. I didn't even dare look out, almost afraid of what I'd see.

Funnily enough, when I saw Sideswipe later, he was smirking and snickering, seemingly randomly.

I should have known better than to dismiss it.

**(Later, Mikaela's POV)**

I watched as Sam's eyes followed Sideswipe around almost suspiciously, narrowing whenever the silver and black mech would snicker or smirk. "Uh, Sam?" He jumped a little and I barely resisted the urge to giggle as I raised an eyebrow. "What's up? You keep staring at Sides."

He frowned a moment. "I just...." Grabbing my arm, he carefully led me over to a corner of the cafeteria. "He came to me earlier, asking me to..." Shuddering a little, he held out his hands and looked at them. "Hold on to a live wire for him."

I felt my eyes widen, and immediately grabbed his hands. _He didn't... No, he couldn't have. He wouldn't be here if he did._ I checked his hands, running my fingers over his palms. "Sam..."

"I didn't." He gently took hold of my hands and held them steady, the tone of his voice causing me to look up. "I didn't, but he was talking to himself." Sam's eyes left me a moment, and narrowed again.

Following his gaze, I watched as Ratchet came into the room. He seemed to look around, before narrowing his optics at Glen, who was eating a ham sandwich on whole wheat bread. Walking over, he plucked the sandwich out of Glen's hands. "This is far too nutritional." He tossed the sandwich over his shoulder with a look, before digging his hand into one of the holding spaces on his body, pulling out a small bag and plopping it into the young man's hands. "That's much better. Enjoy." Turning, he walked off.

I stared in shock as Glen held up the bag of barbeque potato chips. His eyes were wide, but a smile quickly broke out over his face, and he popped the bag, taking a huge hand of chips and stuffing them in his mouth.

"Did you just....?" I looked to Sam, and startled, watching as he almost glared suspiciously Sideswipe's direction. "Sam?" He didn't even blink. "Sam!" I punched his shoulder and watched as he winced and turned to me. "Hi. Welcome back to Earth, how was Cybertron?" I raised an eyebrow. You _did_ just see what Ratchet did....?"

He nodded. "And I know who to blame." Closing his eyes, he rubbed the bridge of his nose and sighed a little, undoubtedly picking up the habit from Optimus. "When I refused to 'hold the live wire', Sideswipe took off down the hall and around a corner, and apparently electrocuted someone."

"And that someone..." I turned and watched Ratchet chaseing a soldier who was attempting to drink a bottle of water, a bottle of pepsi clutched lightly in one of his hands, while he called after her how much less nutritional the pop was, and therefore, how much more she should be drinking. "Ratchet?"

He nodded. "There _was_ a blast of a siren. Sideswipe's been grinning like Moonracer flashed him..." He snickered. "Again, and now Ratchet is acting weird, right? It's all...connected." Even as he said it, he didn't sound all that sure.

I turned back to the soldier, who was now dangling from Ratchet's hands.

"Alright! Alright! Give me the damn pepsi already!" She yelped, half glaring as Ratchet held her bottle of water upside down and drained it right there on the floor. She sighed heavily and took the bottle he offered her, opening it, taking a swig, and staring the large yellow medibot in the optics as she seemed to swallow.

Satisfied, Ratchet put her down and walked off. The moment he was out of sight, she walked over to the nearest garbage can and tossed the pepsi, spitting out the mouthful and heading over to a vending machine and buying another bottle of water, before hiding it behind her back and dashing off.

"Ratchet the...anti-nutritional freak, right?" I raised an eyebrow, not sure if I should laugh or worry. "Um, don't we have a picnic going on, out back? As in, lots of nutritional snacks and stuff?"

Sam frowned a moment, before his eyes widened. "Oh crap!" Grabbing my hand, he began leading me across the hangar at top speed.

We ran outside through the back door, and across the massive base towards where a group of our friends had gathered for an outdoor picnic, enjoying a nice, quiet day. I saw Bumblebee sitting next to Arcee, watching as Annabelle ran around with a carrot in her fingertips and laughing at something. His door wings fluttered a little and he seemed to be quite enjoying himself.

Seeing Optimus turn his optics towards us, I raced forward, barely biting back a sigh as I stopped by his folded legs. "Uh, Optimus? I think we have a problem." He leaned down, his optics darkening in worry. "Something's happened to Ratchet."

"No!"

Turning over my shoulder, I felt my eyes widen. _Speak of the devil_.

Ratchet was running in our direction, his optics widened with horror and a hand out, as if reaching for us. He quickly reached out group and began grabbing the healthy snacks from people's hands. "Stop! This is all nutritional! You must stop at once!" He pulled a sandwich out of Sarah's hands and tossed it like a basket ball towards a garbage can, before carefully knocking an apple out of Maggie's hand. "This is horrible!" He looked actually worried.

"Ratchet...?" Optimus slowly and carefully raised to his feet.

Reaching into holds all over his body, he began pulling out all kinds of junk food. He tossed bags of candy and chips down on the ground, and even somehow managed to pull a bag with a couple of seemingly fresh, hot burgers out, handing them to Will. _I don't even want to know._ "These are much better. Far less nutritional, and they taste _much_ better." He then spotted Annabelle with her carrot and his jaw dropped. "Sparkling, noooooo!" He reached for her, trying to pick her up.

Ironhide, seeing what was going on, let out a low, menacing growl and quickly picked up the tiny girl, carefully cradling her in his arms. "Back off, glitch!" He growled, standing upright and taking a careful step back.

"You need to get that carrot away from her!" Ratchet's optics were wide with panic. "It's... It's full of nutrients! It's _healthy_!" He made the word sound suspiciously like a cuss, with the tone he used. He quickly pulled out a bag of twizzlers and held it out, as if trying to tempt the larger bot. "These are far better tasting!"

Everyone was staring at Ratchet, like he'd grown a second head.

"Ratchet... Has something happened?" Optimus approached slowly, stepping carefully over myself and Sam. "What happened to you, old friend?" Holding up his hands in a placating manner, he stepped forward.

"Nothing, really." Ratchet turned back to Ironhide, who held Annabelle closer to his spark and growled at the medic. "Can't you see?"

There was a sigh, and suddenly Prowl was dragging Sideswipe over.

I rolled my eyes. "Sam thinks Sideswipe might have inadvertantly shocked Ratchet with a live wire." I explained, catching the attention of all the bots.

"Well, yes, he did, but I feel fine." Ratchet turned his optics from me to Annabelle, and suddenly cried out. "Nooooooooooooooo!" He stared helplessly as she chewed on the carrot she held, swallowing her bite and taking another. Ratchet actually _flinched_ at that.

Suddenly, Optimus lunged forward and grabbed the medibot, flicking at something at the back of his neck and catching him as the yellow bot collapsed, immediately going offline. "Wheeljack, Hound and Jolt, I need the three of you to return Ratchet to his med bay and scan him." He passed the unconscious bot off to the others. "Find the problem and fix it. As for you..." He narrowed his optics at Sideswipe.

"It was an accident, I swear!" He held up his hands. "I asked Sam to hold onto the wire....." He trailed off as Bumblebee's optics widened and Optimus' narrowed. "I mean... I was just.... Oh, I'm _so_ slagged!" He trailed off and dropped his head, walking along easy enough as Prowl led him off to the brig.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**Note** : Probably not that funny, I have no idea where this came from. -.-' Hope you like it, anyways.

Hope you like it.

R+R please.

Thank you.

Tenshi


	41. Corvette Twins, It's Twins

**Disclaimer** : I don't own it.

**Note** : This prank actually has a warning attached! Rated for some kind of graphic mentions of, uh...washing an Autobot. I still say 'T' because it's not _that_ graphic (then again, I don't know what graphic is when it comes to...washing an Autobot -.-'), so I'm going to say... Ok, I've never done a scene like this, but lets just say this prank has the girls putting the 'evil' in Devil. O.o

**Wolf Mystic** - LOL Those girls are evil. I'll give you that. Hm, I haven't done any with Optimus in a while, have I? I'll see what I can think of.

**Starfire201** - Oh don't worry, this chapter will get revenge for every prank he's ever pulled.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**(Mikaela's POV)**

Raising an eyebrow, I crosed my arms over my chest, as Sideswipe and Sunstreaker stared down at me. I was also aware of a pretty steamed but suscpisiouly silent Sarah Lennox at my side. "What was that, bolts-for-brains?" I shot back, feeling my ire rise.

Sunstreaker raised an optic ridge back, even as he glanced at the frozen image on the television screen in front of us. "I _said_ that was a lucky break, squishy." He narrowed his optics. "You were just lucky you had a lot of help and caught them unaware."

Looking to Sarah, I bit my lip a long moment. "Oh, _really._ Huh." Turning to them, I smirked. "You're just jealous our pranks outranked anything _you've_ ever come up with. Come on, Sarah." Turning to my partner in crime. "We have better things to do than to listen to their whining." Crouching down, I climbed down a strategically placed ladder and walked out of the room.

Once I was outside, I growled a little. "They had _no_ right to say that! They know our prank was gold." I almost stomped down the hall, I was so angry. "Ohhhh!"

"What we _need_ is to get them back." Sarah was glaring at the hall as she walked, and any smart soldiers walking down the hall kept clear of her sight. "We need a prank. Something that would humiliate them, and something they wouldn't expect."

"Something personal." I growled. I paused at the doors to the med bay, and suddenly smirked. "And maybe a little help." Entering the med bay, I smirked up at Ratchet, who took one look at us and raised an optic ridge. "We need a little help with a prank."

"After the 'Popcorn' event?" He folded his arms over his chest.

My smirk shook a little, and a bubble of laughter burst forth as I recalled the image of the dancing bots. "Uh..." I coughed a little, trying to hide my laughter, and almost lost it at Sarah's choked off snickers. "Actually... This involves the twins."

Promptly, we were scooped up into large hands and deposited on an Autobot-sized berth. Ratchet bent down, his optics light with interest. "What is your idea?"

His sudden interest only served to amuse me. "Well, we don't know yet. We were hoping for something really personal." I thought for a moment. "We don't really have a lot planned for the next few days. Sam and Bee are out at a meeting with Optimus, at the Tomb of the Primes in Egypt. I _think_...the only plans we had were to clean up a few of the cars."

Ratchet's optics flashed brightly. "Something personal, you said?" He seemed to process that. "Are you aware of how sensitive our alternate bodies are?"

I mentally recalled the way Bumblebee would twitch and shift, sometimes odd little noises coming from his engine, when I would wash him. When I slipped my hands into little crevices, the sounds would get louder, and I even recalled light blue energy dancing over my fingers and up my arms as I went. "Sensitive...." _As in..._ I promptly blushed as I turned to Sarah with wide eyes.

"I've washed Ironhide..." Sarah's expression was almost as disturbed as I felt. Turning to me with wide blue eyes, her jaw dropped. "You mean he was getting off on it??" She shuddered and looked down at her hands in horror.

I nodded shakily and turned back to Ratchet. "You... Why would you wait until _now_ to tell us this??" Why didn't _we_ notice?!

He raised an optic ridge. "The energy is harmless to humans. If you had been Crybertronian, there might be a slight issue with possibly conceiving-" Sarah and I gasped, but he continued on as though he hadn't heard us. "But as your physiology is so different, you are safe. Even the radiation levels are low enough to be safe."

_Wait..._ My eyes widened as I was suddenly hit with an idea. "I've got it!" Quickly, I began explaining my idea to Ratchet and Sarah. At first, Sarah looked disgusted with my idea, but as I explained it, she slowly began to smirk.

As we left, Sarah made a call to a friend of hers, requesting special equipment for our prank, and Ratchet was already working on 'modified' scan results.

**(That Afternoon)**

I tugged on my short jean cutoffs as I carried a bucket of warm water to just outisde the door of the main hangar, to where it ran into the driveway outside. I set it down, turned around and went back, grabbing two more, one with a sponge in it.

"Hey 'Kaela." Sarah smirked as she joined me, also dressed in a tank top and shorts. Her hair was up in a high ponytail, and I spotted Will pausing and clearly appreciating the view, before Epps appeared and practically dragged him off. I watched the door a moment, and just as I mentally predicted, Will's head popped around the corner, followed by Sam.

I smirked and waved, watching as Sarah turned and smirked at the boys, mimicking my wave. Epps reappeared with Jazz, and both men were grabbed up in large metallic claws, and carried off.

"Hey, Sarah." I laughed a little as she hauled two buckets of warm water. "So, pick out who in particular we're going to...?"

Her eyes sparked as she bent down and pushed a sponge into the soapy water, before squeezing it out. "I was thinking you get Sides, and I'll get Sunny. You up to our 'roles'?"

I raised an eyebrow, looked around and cleared my throat dramatically. Then I widened my eyes. "I'm sorry. You guys were right." I set my voice to low and submissive, pouting a little as I spoke. "So I wanted to make things right. Sarah and I were thinking of giving you guys a wash?"

She looked up at me and laughed. Then we heard the sound of two top performance engines racing in our direction and we schooled our faces. "Show time." She whispered, her eyes sparkling a little as she hefted the soapy, wet sponge and turned to face the hangar.

Sideswipe and Sunstreaker raced into the hangar, squealing to a stop in front of us, and seemed to idle there a moment. Exchanging a glance with Sarah, we each grabbed a bucket and dumped the contents over the cars.

"Hey!" Sunstreaker spluttered a moment, his engine revving as he sped back about a foot before pausing. "What the slag?"

"Well..." I had to take a second to make sure I didn't start laughing. "We realized we were wrong earlier. We didn't mean... I mean you guys are the kings of pranks." I heard their engines rumbling, as if to say 'told you so', and bit back a smirk as I crossed my fingers behind my back. "So we wanted to apologize. We thought what better way than to give you guys a good wash?" I leaned forward, lightly slapped the soapy spunge on Sideswipe's hood and began washing.

Meanwhile, I saw Sarah doing the same, going right for the edge of the hood, where the windshield wipers were attached and slipping her fingertips into the little space there, causing Sunstreaker's engine to rev loudly.

I felt my face burn as I quickly traced the edges of the hood with my own fingertips, tracing the hood before slipping down and running my nails lightly over the headlights, tapping slightly before moving to the front grill. _Huh, the headlights and front grill almost look like a smiley face. _I shook my head to clear away that thought and slipped the soapy sponge into the grill, getting into every little crevice.

Sideswipe shook a little, as if trembling, and his engine sputtered. "Yeah, uh... There's a lot of dirt in there." He almost seemed to groan as he shivered a little again. "Right there." He purred happily.

"Pervert." Sarah muttered quietly from Sunstreaker's body, giggling a little.

_And yet we're the ones washing them._ I thought back, trying _not_ to giggle.

Biting my lip hard, I heard Sunstreaker's engine rev in a very familiar fashion, and kept my eyes glued to the task at hand, as I moved back to the front. Struggling to keep from smirking, I wrapped the sponge around the windshield wiper and stroked up one a little before repeating the action with the other, causing a powerful surging growl from the engine me, before I let them lightly slap the windwhield and ran the sponge over the tempered glass lightly.

Sarah giggled a little as Sunstreaker growled, and when I glanced over, she was cleaning the wheel wells of the front wheels.

_Ohhh! Ticklish, huh?_ I let my smirk out as I finished the front and began following her lead. Vaguely, I recalled what I did that Bee really responded to and began mimicking that with Sideswipe. Before long, I had the silver Corvette shaking and rumbling beneath my fingertips, even as I wiped over the back windwhields and began running my hands over the trunk.

Ratchet had informed us about several sensor relays that would increase sensitivity over their entire bodies, and Sarah and I worked diligently to make sure and hit every last one.

With a sudden growl, Sunstreaker shook violently, his body dancing with waves of blue electrical energy. The energy ran over his alternate form, causing him to tremble violently, and over into Sarah, from where she was posed by a back wheel well.

She shivered a little and gasped, her eyes widening before she pulled away from the car.

I paused in washing Sideswipe, getting an almost pleading rev from his loudly rumbling engine. Looking back down, I licked my lips and returned to my own work. It wasn't too long, however, before he followed his brother's lead, shaking and trembling with a rev. The electricity ran up my arms as I finished with final swipes of the sponge over his trunk and tail pipe, and I shivered a little at the pleasant feel of it.

As both Corvettes sank down on their axles, I smirked. Grabbing the last two clean buckets of water, I handed one to Sarah, exchanged a look with her, and we dumped them over the cars before setting them down and leaving the area.

"We'll let _them_ clean up, shall we?" Sarah wrapped an arm around my shoulders.

I nodded a little. "Teach them to be perverts."

We exchanged a laugh, a look, and ran back to our rooms laughing our asses off, knowing it would be a _looonnng_ night.

**(The Next Day)**

Sarah had her back to me and I finished the straps. I took a good look at her, hunching awkwardly because of my own bulge, and giggled. "Ready." Turning to the bed, I awkwardly bent over and grabbed a maternity gown. It was one of Sarah's from when she'd been carrying Annabelle. I handed a second to her. "By the way, where's Will?"

Sarah laughed loudly, clutching at her bulging stomach. "He's out with Ironhide. I didn't wanna scar him for life." She laughed again.

I laughed as well, remembering when I'd asked Bumblebee to keep Sam away from base today, just because _I_ didn't want to _scare_ _him_. "Yeah, so's Sam. He's out with Bee." I giggled hysterically, trying to imagine his reponse to this situation.

Pulling the gown over my head, I pulled it down evenly and checked myself out. "Ready."

Sarah nodded, checking herself out, too. "Me, too." Picking up her phone, she dialed a familiar number. "Ratchet? We're ready."

Not long after, a loud blare of emergency sirens echoed down the hall, and Sarah and I both waddled out of the room, trying to look like we were in pain. We hunched awkwardly and waited by the door, struggling hard not to laugh at the shocked looks on the faces of a few soldiers who looked at us and saw our, uh...situations.

Ratchet raced down the halls, spinning upon reaching us, and throwing his back doors open. His holographic form exited the back instantly and carefully helped us both inside, acting like he was doing everything to keep from panicking.

As soon as the door were shut, we began to giggle, and Ratchet's laughter came over his speakers. As soon as we reached the med bay, we schooled our faces, hopped out and had Ratchet help us up onto a berth.

"Very realistic." He eyed our stomachs with a raised optic ridge.

Once we were up, we stood around awkwardly as he tinkered around the room for a few moments, before his optics dimmed. he smirked a little, even as he swung a hanging screen over to the berth, and pulled something up on it.

A few moments later, Sunstreaker and Sideswipe came rushing into the bay.

"What is it?? What's the emergency?!"

"How could you?!" I screamed, placing one hand over my stomach. "What... What..." Shaking my head, I looked down at my 'bulging stomach' and pretended to be struggling not to cry.

"Why didn't you warn us this could happen??" Sarah's eyes were wide, her expression betrayed.

Both mechs looked at each other, before turning to us. Their optics widened as they took in our conditions, and they looked at Ratchet, who remained silent and pointed to the screen hanging above us. As one, both mechs turned to it, their jaws dropping as they read whatever was on it.

"What... What the frag is this?!"

"Congratulations." Ratchet looked farly shell shocked. "Twins. Both of them." He once again pointed to the screen we couldn't really see.

"_WHAT?!?!_" Both twins stared at Ratchet a long moment, before looking to the screen, then down at us. I don't think I'd ever seen such wide optics.

"But... But... But.... _How_??" Sideswipe looked down at us.

Ratchet smirked briefly, I saw, but it was gone again before the twins could look up at him. "Well, when a mech and a femme really love each other-"

"Shut it, smartaft!" Sunstreaker was glaring. "We're not even physically compatible."

"That would...._normally_ be true, however...." I'd known Ratchet well enough by now to notice the way his lips trembled a little as he paused dramatically, catching the twins' undivided attention. "These femmes have been around Autobots for a long time, I believe allowing the spark radiation of the guardians to possibly alter their body chemistry, slightly." He pretended to think about it a moment, then sighed. "Like we needed _another_ set of twins around here, let alone _two_. And all mechs, too." He shook his head.

The twins were staring at us in undisguised horror, almost swaying on their feet.

I decided to ham it up a little. "Twins." I turned to Sarah. _"Twins_!" I pointed to my stomach. Then I widened my eyes as something came to mind. Turning to the door, I felt my eyes water and my lips tremble dangerously as Prowl walked in the open door. _Oh crap! Well, when in Rome..._ "Ratchet, will they have teeth like Megatron?!?!"

Prowl froze, taking in our forms. He stood still in the doorway, his optics going from Sarah and myself, to the screen above us, his optics widening impossibly. Then he looked to Ratchet, who saw him and appeared to be shaking, and to the twins standing frozen in disbelieving shock. Then his optics made the trips again. Us, screen, Ratchet, twins. Us, screen, Ratchet, twins.

His head began to smoke violently and his optics twitched.

A strange sound escaped Sarah's throat, and her eyes widened even more. "Oh my God! I'm _so_ not nursing, if that's the case!" She crossed her arms over her chest, as if trying to protect herself.

There was the sound of loud pops, and an even louder thud.

Ratchet looked at us a moment, and then doubled up laughing loudly.

I couldn't help and followed suit. "Oh man, Sarah!" I giggled violently. "Nursing." I snickered again, and looked over. "That was perfect!"

Ratchet turned to the door and began laughing even harder. "Oh sweet Primus!" He tapped the screen above our heads and it turned off, before returning to it's original position.

"_Who_ are the best pranksters around?" I smirked and stood up straight, giggling and holding my hand up as Sarah smacked it in a high five. "It's not you two."

Prowl looked back and forth, frowning at Ratchet before turning to us. "A prank..." He raised an optic ridge.

I nodded. Reaching down, I lifted the dress to show the tank top and shorts I was wearing underneath, and the plastic 'belly' over them. With a snicker, I turned and stared down at the two offlined mechs. "Never expected them to faint about it, though."

Needless to say, the twins never again gave us trouble about the quality of our pranks. Especially not when they learned we have video taped proof of it.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Hope you like it.

R+R please.

Thank you.

Tenshi


	42. Jolt, Gummy Bear

**Disclaimer** : I don't own it.

**starfire dauter of iron hide** - If that actually happened, the Autobots would send the twins to the Decepticons to take the enemy out by driving them insane.....er. LOL But yes, definitely poor Ratchet and Prowl.

**Note** : I would recommend watching the Gummy Bear video on youtube so you know what song I'm going for. LOL!

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**(Normal POV)**

Sideswipe snuck a glance behind him, awkwardly juggling two barrels in his hands, trying to keep a firm but gentle hold on them to keep them from exploding and releasing their contents all over the place. Seeing the dark hallway was clear, he turned back and made as silent a mad dash as he could down the halls, quickly arriving in the pool room.

Sunstreaker was already there, with a really _big_, really _long_ piece of two by four, and was swirling it through the pool waters, which were a darker blue than normal. He looked up upon hearing his brother entering, and smirked. "Hurry. He'll be along before too long."

Nodding, Sides walked forward and quickly popped the tops of the barrels, pouring their contents into the water and watching as it got even darker. Then he began humming to himself, lightly.

The tune made Sunny snicker again, before he joined in, the two humming Autobots standing over a dark blue pool and awaiting the arrival of another.

They didn't have to wait long.

Jolt walked through the doors, looking around with a confused expression before laying optics on the twins. One optic ridge slowly rose as he walked closer, and then he took in the pool. "Do I want to ask?"

"Probably not. Hey, did you get the calibrations?" Sideswipe tilted his head a little, trying not to laugh when Jolt eyed him a moment before nodding. _**'It really must be the end of the world. I can't believe he actually agreed to **_**help**_** us.'**_

_**'I know. The pit's freezing over as we speak.'**_ Sunstreaker's lips trembled a little as he nodded and stepped away from the pool. _**'Then again, the video of the 'accident' made excellent blackmail.'**_

_**'Yep. The femmes were right, he really was pissed.'**_

Both twins twitched a little, trying to hide their laughter, as they recalled the video of Ratchet and the oil stain.

"So...?" Jolt folded his arms over his chest, eyeing the pool and the twins warily. "What did you need me for?" He took two more steps forward, and unknowingly landed _right_ where the twins wanted him.

_**'Now!'**_

A switch was flipped across the room, and a piece of heavy machinery shook slowly as it came to life with a hum. A large magnet, suspended on a cord hung over Jolt's head, and before he could say anything, it activated, pulling him to it roughly.

It took everything the twins had, not to fall over laughing when he stuck head first to the magnet, unable to move to pull away. Luckily, earth magnetics were not usually strong enough to fully penetrate their strong armor, so no real damage would be done to his processors, but he was immobile at the moment.

The magnet slowly swung over to the pool and began lowering Jolt into the surprisingly warm liquid. He probably would have been yelling profanities at them, if his optics hadn't landed on the third figure moving into the light and joining them. Just before he was forced to shutter his optics to protect them from the liquid, he made out the distinctive shape of Ratchet, moving out of the shadows, even as Sideswipe pulled out a video of some sort and handed it to the medibot, who crushed it upon receiving it.

**(Later)**

When his optics came online, the first thing Jolt noticed was Sideswipe leaning over him and moving funnily. Then the silver Autobot pulled back, and he blinked a moment at a small metal tool in his hands, covered in what appeared to be a dark blue gelatin of some kind. His optics suddenly widened, and he shot up in a sitting position, pausing when something on his chest came into contact with the other mech and sent him sumersaulting backwards.

Looking down, his optics widened even more to see a near perfect orb of thick, gelatinous goop all around his torso. As he looked up, he caught sight of a mirror across the room, and frowned when he saw the rounded mounds on his head.

Sideswipe began snickering again, before darting out of the room, humming the same song from earlier.

Standing up, Jolt frowned and began searching the web. Surely there was a reason Sideswipe had chosen _this_ form, and after searching for a while, he found it. He growled a little to himself, relaxing when his scans revealed he was simply covered in Jello, and pausing. _I'm already like this..._ He stalked out of the room, watching as many humans paused in seeing him and began chuckling to themselves.

"Well, at least we can safely touch him without getting electrocuted." Will nodded to Epps and the two snickered as they disappeared around the corner.

"Not to mention, if we ever ran into him, we wouldn't have to worry about cutting ourselves." Robert smirked, stopping and peeking back around the corner.

"Nope. Just bouncing off him." Will nodded as the two resumed their walks.

Walking up and down the halls, he ignored the laughter and comments as he thought about whether to go further with the prank for amusement sake, or just clean up. Then he ran into Ratchet.

"Before you say a word, I didn't do a thing to you. The twins wanted me to recalibrate your vocal sensors so you would sound..." He paused and his eyes dimmed a moment. "Like a gummy bear, but I didn't." He frowned. "Although I have yet to see how anything can _sound_ like a lifeless gelatinous snack." His optics trailed up and down the mech in front of him and twitched a moment. "I must say, you certainly look the part."

Jolt nodded. "I thought you hated the twins."

Shuttering his optics, Ratchet nodded. "Yes, I do, but I hate the videos of their successful pranks on me even more."

"Ah, blackmail." Nodding in understanding, Jolt barely caught sight of Annabelle Lennox walking down the hall, towards the rec room. Considering his appearance, and the attempted prank the twins pulled, he began searching youtube for possible ideas to.... He smirked suddenly. "Excuse me, Ratchet, but can I get a favor from you? We might need Wheeljack's help, too."

Shuttering his optics again, Ratchet sighed. He knew that look all too well and knew he was fragged. If he helped, he was in for revenge. If he didn't, he was in for revenge. Smirking back, he onlined his optics and nodded to Jolt, walking with the gelatin-covered bot down the hall. _If I'm stuck, I might as well enjoy this._

**(Two Days Later, Will's POV)**

"You know Captain, I love this base." A female soldier smirked at me, jogging around the corner and then pausing to walk along side me. "It's so much more fun than I expected. Especially with all the pranks. Not to mention, your little girl's having a ball in the rec room." She saluted and dashed off with a giggle.

I paused for a moment and frowned. _Annabelle?_ I grabbed my radio and turned it to Hide's frequency. "Hide? Where's Annabelle?" I knew I'd left her with him, and that he'd never allow anything to happen to her. Hearing bursts of music in the background as he responded, I frowned deeper.

"She is with me, and she is fine." There was a low chuckle, and another burst of music.

_She's fine...and in the rec room._ The amusement in Hide's voice had my eyes narrowing as I quickly began jogging down the hall. Grabbing a random soldier on the way by, I paused. "I need you to tell Secretary Keller I'll be a few minutes late. Something's come up, I just need to check it out." When he nodded, I let him go and once again resumed jogging down the hall.

_**Oh I'm a gummy bear**_

_**Yes I'm a gummy bear**_

The music suddenly blasted and then cut off, causing a whole lot of laughter to pour from the open human-sized door to the rec room. The laughter was that of bots and humans both, and I picked up the pace, entering the room and skidding to a stop as I took in the sight before me.

_**Oh I'm a yummy funny tummy lucky gummy bear.**_

Sideswipe was glaring at his brother and Jolt with a look that, if looks could kill, both bots would already be a smoking pile of scrap metal on the floor. He stalked forward with a growl and opened his mouth to speak.

_**I'm a jelly bear**_

_**'Cause I'm a gummy bear.**_

I could hear his cooling jets working overtime as he shut his mouth and raised his hands to his face, glaring once more as Jolt began laughing.

I couldn't help but laugh as well. That hadn't been Sideswipe's voice coming from him, either. It was a higher voice, one that suited the song that played whenever he opened his mouth. To to mention, it perfectly suited the, uh....look of him, now.

Sunstreaker, however, was also glaring at Jolt, though he kept turning his head to shoot Sideswipe just as nasty a look. He opened his own mouth but quickly closed it again, lashing out and trying to tackle his brother instead.

....Only to bounce off him and stumble three steps back.

Feeling a hand wrap around me, I relaxed into the familiar embrace and allowed Hide to lift me, before placing me in the flat palm of his other hand, where Sarah and Annabelle were both sitting, tears streaming down their face from laughter.

"Do I dare...?" I pointed as Sideswipe attempted to punch his brother, only to have his hand bounce off and causing him to stumble as his balance was thrown off.

"They pranked Jolt. This is revenge." Sarah giggled and held our daughter tighter. "Apparently they roped Ratchet into helping them, because they had a blackmail video, but he tricked them..."

I blinked a moment. "What in the world did they do to deserve _that_?!"

Both twins were currently covered in thick shells of what appeared to be a gelatinous substance. It looked and jiggled like jello, but the fact that they were bouncing off each other and seemed unable to remove it told me otherwise.

"They turned Jolt into a gummy bot." Annabelle laughed and clapped as the twins attempted to grapple, only to bounce off each other once again.

_That makes sense._ Considering the big gummy ears and round bellies, the twins more or less resembled gummy bots themselves.

_**Oh I'm a gummy bear,**_

_**Yes I'm a gummy bear.**_

I laughed a little at the rage-filled, horrified glance of Sunstreaker as everyone busted up laughing. "And the voice mods?"

"To keep their language under control." Sarah shrugged and turned to me. "I like it."

I laughed as the bots made anothe futile go at attacking each other. They struggled to grapple, and I winced as I was suddenly accosted with the image of twin Autobot sumo wrestlers. Gummy sumo wrestlers at that.

I shuddered, and watched as Ratchet seemed to be watching them more intently than the others. The medibot was standing between a smug looking Jolt and an amused Wheeljack. Then I took in how still and quiet Ratch was, and smirked. _Making his own blackmail video, I see._

_**Ba ba bidubidubi yum yum  
Ba ba bidubidubi yum yum  
Ba ba bidubidubi yum yum  
Three times you can bite me  
Ba ba bidubidubi yum yum  
Ba ba bidubidubi yum yum  
Ba ba bidubidubi yum yum  
Three times you can bite me**_

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Hope you like it.

R+R please.

Thank you.

Tenshi


	43. The 'Vette Twins, Wild Animals

**Disclaimer** : I don't own it.

**Note** : This chapter was requested by **Darklight8121** who got the idea from **hummergrey**'s 'If an Autobot, do NOT do the following', Chapter 40. Most of the lines from the liason, and the twins (and later, Optimus, Prowl, Ratchet and Ironhide) were taken directly from the other fic, so I don't own them. I don't own the scene, it was the idea of **hummergrey**.

Huh, you know, I think 'I don't own it' covered all that. LOL.

Also, this might be the only chapter update this week. I'm sick with a stubborn cold (though my teas are keeping it from getting worse at the moment), and because of Thanksgiving, my schedule is all messed up, so I'm not home on a stable connection all week.

On the upside, I'm working on a special Halloween chapter, a prank, and hopefully will have that up soon.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**(Normal POV)**

_**Rule # 139**_ : _Do not assist in the removal, capture or relocation of wild animals from Diego Garcia or other NEST sites, back to their native habitat. Let human Fish and Game, or Wildlife experts handle the situation. Liasons, Budget Personelle, Congressional Aides, and the Witwicky dogs are not classified as Wild Animals_. - Sideswipe, Sunstreaker, Skids, Mudflap and Hound.

Sunstreaker barely seemed to bite back a growl as he watched the overweight human male practically inhale a burger dripping in disgusting grease. _**'Who **_**is**_** this human, and why are we stuck with him?!'**_ Grease dripped into the plastic wrapper on the man's lap, and Sunstreaker swallowed heavily, trying not to gag.

_**'A budget reviewer, an over eater, and our punishment for letting Major Lennox get caught in our last prank.'**_ Sideswipe shuddered a little as the man took another massive bite, using a napkin to wipe at the sweat beading on his face. _Eww._ The napkin had grease on it already, from wiping up the mess on the man's face. Instead of wiping his forehead, he only seemed to be shining it.

Dropping the used wrapper on the ground, the man took a fresh one out of the bag and began eating again. The locals seemed to be used to the rude, disgusting behavior of the man, ignoring him even as they openly ogled the twin Corvettes. They, the twins that is, had been informed of his identity that morning, but neither twin had listened, until Optimus assigned _them_ temporary guardianship over him.

**Flashback**

"You will accompany him off the island, to the main research storage facility on the mainland, and carry him and the appropriate files back here without incident or injury."

**End Flashback**

Neither twin had argued simply because the brig was still being repaired from Ratchet's break out, earlier, and with the Fall rains coming, being locked outside in their alternate modes meant for a lousy recharge time.

_**'It was supposed to be Sam, not Lennox, who triggered it.'**_ Sunstreaker sulked, briefly contemplating how much trouble he'd be in if he suddenly reversed, leaving the human to fall over instead of leaning on him.

Sideswipe shuddered again, but this time for a totally different reason. _**'Count your energon chips that Prime and Bumblebee never find that out.'**_ He cycled his vents quietly. _**'Since Sam's accident, they are worse than over wired femmes on protecting him. Lennox was bad enough. Worse, his sparkmate, Sarah Lennox, arrives next week and has promised to deal with us personally upon arrival.'**_

Snorting internally, Sunstreaker kept his optics on the dripping grease, less than six inches from his hood. _**'I'd rather her than this slob. He's wearing as much as his lip plates are pulling in.**_' He watched in disgust as the budget reviewer wiped hastily at his face, before picking at one of multiple grease and condiment stains on his shirt. _**'We can't transform here, either. Too many humans to see.'**_ That would have taken care of the problem. The nameless man wouldn't dare refuse them allowance to transform, and if they were in their bipedal forms, he couldn't very well lean against their hoods. _**'Public fountain anywhere in optic range?'**_

Sideswipe noticed how much grease was all over the man's face, and noted with relief none was on Sunstreaker's hood. At least the man had the wits around him _not_ to mess up the paint job of the psychotic yellow Corvette.

The man wiped his face for probably the twentieth time, before beginning to speak, with his mouth still _full_. "Smart beings, you both are." He wiped at a chunk of burger that splattered onto his shirt, absently. "Heard you pull pranks." Chubby, slimy lip plates pulled up into a smirk, as he finally swallowed his food and took a massive drink of his soda, belching when he was done.

"Got kicked off the island, but I understand." He ripped open another ketchup packet and squeezed the ketchup onto the open wrapper of the second demolished burger, sliding fries through it and practically swallowing them whole. "First job was working six months at a McGreasy Burger joint."

_That explains the massive buddah-belly and his infinity with the pit-slagged things._ Sideswipe sank down on his axles, thanking Primus the budget reviewer was leaning against his brother, and not him.

"Learned a valuable lesson I have followed ever since." The man took another pull of his drink, before finishing off his fries and tossing the second used wrapper aside, grabbing a final one from the bag at his side and opening it to reveal yet _another_ burger.

_Does he ever stop?! __**'If he keeps eating, he's gonna turn into an earth mammal known as a whale, or explode!'**_ It took everything Sunstreaker had not to growl, or take off then and there to blast the pit out of some random distant mountain range.

Sideswipe smirked. _**'Thar she blows!'**_ He called, earning a hint of a snicker from his brother.

"Hard work and patience gets you ahead?" Sunstreaker verbally asked, returning his attention to the grease ball who somehow managed not to slide off his hood. He probably shouldn't have spoken out loud, in case random civilians heard him, but the budget reviewer was really starting to get on his nerves, and he really couldn't care less at the moment.

Shaking his head, the man belched again, before looking around them like he was checking out the area. "Take a job where you advance by hopping over someone else, or turning him or her in to be fired. Still eat the Maximus McGreasy with extra sauce-"

**'**_**Is that what that slag is??'**_ Sideswipe complained, eyeing the unnnamed stains on the man's shirt.

"Doc tells me to cut back, says I'm taking off the last ten years of my life." The man continued, completely unaware of the wandering attentions of the twin Corvettes. "However, the last ten years are the worst, anyways. Who wants them?" He sat the burger in its greasy wrapper, before plopping said wrapper on the hood of the yellow Corvette, ignoring or perhaps just not noticing the growl of the engine and the way the surface trembled minutely.

"You two, you understand that principal." He leered at a couple of young women who ignored him but eyed the Corvettes appreciatively, before he took another long drink of his soda. "Moving up quickly by kicking others down. They think you have their back." He picked up his burger and finished it in two bites, crumbling the wrapper when he was done. "Only they are your next target."

The engines of both Corvettes rumbled angrily, but he paid them no heed as he resumed stuffing his face.

_**'Is that what he thinks of us??' **_Sunstreaker growled quietly, reconsidering reversing and letting the budget review fall flat on his generous aft. Especially when he saw the horrid grease stain left behind on his hood. _**'I might just dump him in the bay. Primus knows he could use the clean up.'**_

Sideswipe, ever the fairer bot, stretched a hint, before settling back down. _**'Our pranks might seem that way to an outsider, and we probably haven't been the best team mates lately.'**_

_**'We're the best on the battle field!'**_ His twin argued.

Raising a hidden optic ridge, Sideswipe cycled his vents. _**'And when not fighting? In the brig or fighting with the others?'**_

Letting out a long, low belch, the budget reviewer began collecting the used, crumpled wrappers and tossed them into the empty bag, before finishing off his drink and tossing the container in there as well. He absenly brushed at his clothing, before grabbing the bag, waddling over to the trash can and tossing it, before returning.

"A few more years and you could be like me." He smirked as he climbed into a _very_ reluctant Sunstreaker, failing to notice the ketchup on his hands until he was inside, and then simply licking it off.

Both twins immediately imagined themselves with hefty stomachs, chugging massive amounts of energon, sitting on their ever enlarging afts and discussing reports. Both twins shuddered violently.

He didn't seem to notice. "Head of the department, with power and fear and no one around to bug you." He patted the dash with a leer. "I'm going to request you the entire week I am here. Help me to remember the good old days."

_**'Primus, no! I'd rather watch Megatron pole dancing!'**_ Sideswipe's optics widened and he nearly swerved into an oncoming dump truck. Purposely.

Sunstreaker's own optics narrowed as the last words of the man hit him. _So... He wants to experience the 'good old days', does he?_ With a smirk forming over his lip plates, he immediately began planning.

**(The Base, That Night)**

Driving down the hall, the twins carefully side-stepped-err _drove_ around the sleepy, grumbling soldiers and civilians milling around. For a moment, they were almost concerned as to why so many humans were awake that time of night, but then the horrendous sounds started up, and both twins found themselves transforming quickly, raising their blades and looking around warily.

"What the slag is that?" Sunstreaker growled lowly.

Will staggered up to the mechs with clear exhaustion and sighed loudly. "Budget reviewer."

"What the slag is he _doing_?!" The yellow twin's optics narrowed in confusion.

"Snoring." Waving a little, Will continued on, clearing the halls with the last of the humans.

Turning to his brother, Sunstreaker raised an optic ridge, even as he lowered his weapon. ".....What the slag is 'snoring'??"

Sideswipe's optics went dim a moment, obviously looking it up. With a snort, he sent the data burst to his brother, whose optics narrowed dangerously, even as his lip plates trembled minutely. "We really need to do something about this. Lack of sleep is detrimental to human health." He paused a moment and frowned. "I've been locked up with Ratchet too long."

Sunstreaker nodded with a snicker, chosing to remain quiet about how much he agreed with his twin, on the part about spending too much time with Ratchet. "So, shall we?"

The twin terrors transformed once again, activating their holoforms as they drove to the budget reviewer's room. They 'parked' outside the door, while the holographic boys left the Corvettes and snuck into the room. Then they paused as a loud snore echoed through the room.

_**'Isn't there a human saying about something to do with snoring, and buzz saws or chain saws or something?'**_ Sideswipe smirked, pushing his light blonde hair out of his face as he snuck over to the bed side.

_**'I have better things to do than to look it up.'**_ Sunstreaker rolled his eyes and snuck over, hastily pulling the sheet down.

A loud....grumbling roar echoed through the room, making both bots freeze, before they realized he was still snoring. They exchanged a look, and set to work, stripping the man down to his underwear, and looking for all the world like they were planning on having Ratchet scrub their processors clean with hydrochloric acid after. Once the man was left in his undies, they lifted him, pausing with wide eyes when something seemed to crack in Sunny's back.

_**'Good thing I'm not human, or I'd be dead.'**_ His eyes narrowed, and he boosted the strength of his hologram, hefting the heavy man up and leading the way to their parked forms, settling him into the driver's seat of the silver Corvette. Once that was done, he cracked his back again, and sighed in relief.

Sideswipe raised an eyebrow, smirking as he vanished into thin air.

Then the twins hightailed it out of the base, as silently as they could. They made their way to the nearest McGreasy Burger joint, snickering and amazed that the reviewer never woke once, and then got him out. He only shifted when they set him on the ground to transform, then he was hefted again, and both bots got to work on the security system, overriding the alarms, unlocking the doors, and getting him inside.

They looked around a moment, before Sideswipe led the way to a large dining table more or less in the middle of the room. Of course, they were using their holographic forms inside, not wanting the security cameras to catch their true forms. Together, they plopped the heavy set man on it and watched as he rolled onto his side and curled up, still sleeping away. Then they took off and set up a hack into the security camera systems, making sure they got a copy of what would happen when he woke up.

**(Later the Next Day)**

Prowl was steaming. Almost literally. The normally stoic second in command had his arms folded over his chest, and the narrowed optics showed his displeasure. Ok, ok, he was pissed. There was no doubt he knew what happened, especially with copies of the results circulating through the base. There were also several things he could have said, but instead, he settled on a single word.

"Why?"

Sunstreaker sneered in disgust. "He left greasy fingerprints down my hood, and ketchup on my door!"

"That still doesn't mean you can kidnap him from his bed and drug him!" Prowl's voice began to rise, along with his internal temperatures.

Behind him, Optimus' optics were dim as he once again reviewed the tape. The man appeared to be sleeping peacefully on the center of one of the tables in the restaurant, until about 6:35am when the first worker arrived. However, unlike he expected, the worker _didn't _actually scream. They just stood there, staring at the stranger. It was about 6:43am when he rolled a little too far and fell off the table, to _bounce_ on the floor, that the worker screamed, and he awoke.

The rather high pitched scream that came from his throat _was_ expected, and Optimus watched as the budget reviewer realized he was almost naked, and struggled to cover himself. The only problem was, because of the size of his stomach, he was unable to get his hands down far enough to cover anything.

The battle mask slid over his face, before the expected smirk made itself known.

"We didn't drug him." Sideswipe corrected with a frown.

Sunstreaker snorted inelegantly. "He sleeps like a mech overdosed on old grade, star strap energon. A 'Con attack wouldn't wake him, though his snoring woke half the base." _And Will would confirm that, too._

Prowl didn't seem to be listening, and continued on, his voice getting even louder, until he was almost shouting at the top of his lungs. "Strip him down to his underwear, and dump him in a fast food restaurant at four o'clock in the morning."

_Two hours._ Optimus mentally calculated. _It's truly amazing he didn't wake once._

"What did you think you were doing??" Prowl finally finished.

The twins exchanged a look before shrugging. "Returning him to his native environment?" _**'At least we decided not to 'debrief' him.'**_ He added with an internal snicker, watching as Sunstreaker's optics widened in disgusted horror, before the twin managed to mask his expression.

With a sigh, Optimus shook his head a little, knowing that although no one was hurt, someone _could_ have been. "The end result was reckless and endangering to a human life assigned to our care. Have you anything to say?"

They exchanged another look, before seemingly perking up with great interest.

"Whatever it is, we accept full responsibility for our actions!" Sunstreaker eagerly spoke, willing to take even the cold rainy seasonal weather, than be stuck as _that _guy's ride for a week.

Sideswipe nodded just as eagerly, looking at the two mechs in front of him. "We will abide by your judgement. We've earned it. You have always been fair, more than any other commander would have." He lavished on the praise, watching as both bots in front of them stared in open shock.

Prowl blinked a moment. _They..._want_ their punishment?_ He tried to analyse it, but his systems crashed with a loud pop, and he offlined, toppling over and into the shell shocked Optimus, who quickly caught him.

Optimus just stared, waiting to find out what the 'strings' were, so to speak. He wanted to know what catch the twins would pose on them, but when nothing seemed forth coming, he finally frowned.

**Autobot Emergency Frequency**

_**'The twins have glitched! Main Autobot hangar!'**_ Ironhide's optics were perhaps the widest, and he kept a close, wary eye on Will, who was watching the scene with equal amounts of shock.

_**'Now what?'**_ Maybe Ratchet didn't catch the desperate shock in Ironhide's voice, because he sounded bored.

_**'Twins pulled a prank.'**_ Optimus decided to keep briefing short and to the point. '_**Accepting full responsibility and not objecting to their punishment.'**_

The line went quiet for a frighteningly long time, and Optimus began to wonder if even Ratchet glitched and offlined at the news. Then the medic's voice came through, just as urgent as Ironhide's was earlier.

_**Evacuate the humans. Make no sudden movements, or approach, or make physical contact. I'm on my way!'**_

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**Note** : Ok, if I had to guess, I'd say about 90% of this chapter is **hummergrey**'s idea, just with a little more on personal thought, and the prank added in. You should read it, I LMAO a lot while reading it, and it's got more of a plot than mine! :)

Hope you like it.

R+R please.

Thank you.

Tenshi


	44. Exploding Pumpkins

**Disclaimer** : I don't own it.

**Note** : Prank idea gotten from the prank website, thanks to **laureas**.

P.S... Halloween Prank gone wrong. *Snickers*

**Wolf Mystic** - Nope. Prowl offlined, and I'd honestly be surprised if he was the only one. LOL

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**(Normal POV)**

Two Corvettes drove down the road slowly, pausing in front of some houses and skipping others. The windows were so tinted, no one could see who was inside, or what they were doing, but every time they paused, they caught a lot of attention.

_**'We're supposed to lie low.'**_ Sideswipe eyed a group of teenagers dressed in darker colors with dark face paint and many metallic additions to their faces warily. _**'Man, I don't like how they're looking at me.'**_

'They' being a group of teens who were eyeing the cars much more appreciatively than the said Corvettes wanted.

_**'You think I do? The one with the crowbar especially.'**_ Sunstreaker sped up a little, driving beyond the staring oddity of a group of teens. _**'And we **_**are**_** undercover. Well...as undercover as two Corvettes can be in this neighborhood.'**_

They went silent as they scanned the neighborhood before driving off. To the naked eye, it would seem like nothing out of the ordinary happened, but the twins were making plans as they went. On the way back to the base, the separated to get things ready with plans to meet up again that night.

**(Later)**

_**'You got him to help?'**_ The disbelief could be heard in Sunstreaker's voice as he went to one house, in human holoform, and his twin went to the other across the street. When no one was looking, they pulled out the candle in the jack-o-lantern and inserted a small pop bottle. Then he grimaced and seemed to choke on a gag while grabbing a bag of pumpkin goop, scooping out handfuls and filling the pumpkin. _Disgusting_!!

Sideswipe shot his twin a smirk, brushing his long blonde hair out of his face before leaning over another lantern and doing the same. _**'Yep. Just be careful, it's set to go off in two hours, give or take.'**_ He quickly rushed to the next house, doing the same there, grimacing at the warm mushiness of the pumpkin innards all over his holo-hands. He made sure the jack-o-lanterns were a few feet from the porches of the house, before taking a step back, observing his work, and heading back to his real body to grab more bottles.

_**'How did he set it up? The crystals are volatile.'**_ Sunny had done three houses by now, and was waiting for his twin, who was taking slightly longer, being a little more careful with the bottles. "You don't have to be _that_ careful!" He hissed quietly.

"Yeah, actually, you do!" Sideswipe paused a moment, hearing a movement in the house. He hastily dropped the bottle in, freezing as his eyes widened in horror, before relaxing and putting the top back on the jack-o-lantern and disappearing, not even bothering to keep up appearances as the Corvette moved to the next house. He paused a moment, thinking, before answering.

_**'Said something about inserting a sheet of metal with nanites that would weaken it until it collapsed. The metal keeps the Draino crystals separate from the water and balled up aluminum foil. Once they mix...'**_ He trailed off with a faint smirk.

Sunny thought about it a moment, imagining it and smirking. He eyed the pumpkins he'd messed with, judging their distance from the houses and the risk factor of humans getting caught. _One of our riskier pranks, but I wanna see how this turns out._

_**'Bang!'**_

Sunstreaker almost jumped at his twin's unexpected comment, shooting him a brief glare, before getting off the hood of his alternate mode, grabbing more bottles, eyeing the neighborhood warily and heading to the next pumpkin. He was followed closely by his twin.

Neither of them even noticed the optics following their every move carefully.

Once they left, Starscream entered the same neighborhood, using his rarely used human holoform. He examined the pumpkins, scanning them and finding traces of energon and Cybertronian metals. _Hmm... What're the Autobot scum up to?_ Looking closer, he saw the traces of plastic. _Some sort of surveilence?_

It didn't seem likely they were any sort of weapon, as the Auto-scum were usually very protective of humans and keeping their technology from humans hands. Picking up a pumpkin, he was going to throw it when he recalled their hissing about being _careful_. He paused, holding the pumpkin closer, scanning it again. _No tracking devices._

Looking up and down the neighborhood, he made a snap decision. He quickly worked on gathering all the pumpkins and carting them back to his alternate form, where he was parked in a small forested area. Emptying his holds, he stuffed the pumpkins in his holds, disolved his holoform and took to the air, streaking out of there as fast as he could.

**(That night)**

Sunstreaker and Sideswip had scanned less fancy vehicles, attempting to blend in as they drove into the neighborhood. Immediately, they paused, gracefully pulling over and staring in shock.

_**'Where the frag are the pumpkins??'**_ Sunstreaker's shock, confusion and frustration could be heard in his voice, as his optics scanned the houses. There were people milling around, many speaking of the missing pumpkins, and he almost growled.

And Sideswipe wasn't doing much better. _**'Are you slagging kidding me? What pit-spawned glitch stole our prank?!'**_

Not wanting to even consider the possibility, they scanned the houses, looking for any sign of the pumpkins. They didn't want to consider the fact that humans might have taken the time bombs inside, the possible damage being unbelievable, but when they found nothing... They were both disappointed and pleased.

Neither could figure it out, and watched disappointed and angry as kids began almost running up and down the street. The sky was dark, but they saw perfectly as the children ran right past where the pumpkins _had_ been sitting, and both sighed, settling down on their axles as the kids got their treats and ran off again.

_**'Awww man! What a bust!'**_

Sunstreaker could only agree silently as they both drove off, changing back into their Corvette forms when they were out of view of the humans, and making their way back to base.

Meanwhile, at the Decepticon base...

Megatron entered his room, only to pause as he took in his second in command kneeling there. However, the usual homage to his entrance was not what stopped him. The several orange, round....earth plants laying on the ground in a bunch _was_. "Why the slag have you brought these disgusting plants to me??"

Starscream bowed lower, if it was at all possible, and took two steps back in tandem with Megatron's two forward. "Forgive me, master. I found the Autobots messing around with these, inserting some sort of devices within them. I could not figure it out, but they left them near their precious humans so... I thought they would be safe."

"I don't pay you to _think_."

_You don't pay me at all._ Starscream thought darkly, keeping his optics locked on the ground. "Forgive me. I th-_felt_ you might wish to know what it was the Autobots were up to."

Pausing mid stride, Megatron took in the... He searched the internet for a reference and raised an optic ridge at the smiling faces staring blankly up at him. "What the frag are 'jack-o-lanterns'??" Tilting his head a little, his optics narrowed almost dangerously. "And what in the name of Unicron would those Autobot nimrods want with them?" He leaned down a little, hesitating and growling a little when he heard a small hissing sound. "Starscream, what is...that sound?"

Frowning, Starscream dared a look up, then cried out and covered his optics.

**BANG!**

**SPLAT!**

**CRUNCH!!**

A series of explosions suddenly sounded in the room, and he cowered as pumpkin guts splattered all over the place. As quick as the explosions sounded, they stopped, leaving the wet squelching of pumpkin guts sliding off stuff, and the crunch of the shells under others.

Opening his optics, he dared a glance and felt his spark very nearly offline at the sight before him.

The once dark room was now decorated with orange and tan pumpkin bits and a large mass of them sat where the jack-o-lanterns once did. That wasn't the thing that made him consider defecting to the Autobots though.

The rather murderous rage in Megatron's optics, and the large snarl that literally shook the cavern that was the throne room _was._

"M...Master?" He backed up, trying to think of the fastest and easiest way out of the room. "I didn't... I didn't know..."

"Of _course_ not! _Why_ would the obvious _ever_ cross your pathetic processors?!" Megatron's hand transformed into a weapon, and he took a single step forward. "You... You pit-spawned, glitching waste of energon!" He took another step forward, pausing when a chunk of pumpkin slithered down his face between his optics and fell off his chin.

Blinking, Starscream couldn't fight the snicker that slid through his tightly pressed lip plates, and his optics widened in horror, before he performed the fastest transformation in the history of transforming, and fled the room in a puff of smoke, which only kicked up more pumpkin guts all over his leader.

_I'm so slagged! I'm so fragging slagged!_

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Hope you like it.

R+R please.

Thank you.

Tenshi


	45. The Twins, Drawing

**Disclaimer** : I don't own it.

**Note** : Requested by **Riku's Music Lover**, and I believe **laureas** requested seeing them pranking the 'Cons.

Some of these chapters will be shorter and not as well done. My muse is starting to have a hard time wanting to do more to this story, when I have other ideas in the works as well. :S Don't worry, so far, this is the worst one I have done, I think. ;) The others I have are better, definitely.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**(Normal POV)**

The twins drove as silently as they cound through small paths in the mountains.

_**'This is nasty. My paint is gonna be ruined!'**_ Sunstreaker growled quietly, dodging around some boulders and shuddering in disgust when his twin's wheels kicked up some mud onto his hood. _**'Hey, watch it!'**_

_**'It's not like I'm aiming for you!'**_ Sideswipe came back, grimacing to himself as he locked on the target and drove ahead. _**'And in case you haven't noticed, I'm not exactly sparkling clean myself.'**_

_**'Trust me, I've noticed.'**_ With a hidden smirk, the yellow Corvette followed behind his brother as they closed in on the signal. They both transformed upon reaching a rather large cave entrance in the side of the mountain. _**'Show time.'**_ Activating his internal comms, Sunstreaker kept an optic out._** 'Sunstreaker to Optimus, we've arrived unhindered at the origin of the signal. Moving in now.'**_

_**'Watch your backs, we'll be there soon. ETA twenty five minutes. Optimus out.'**_

Exchanging a look with his brother, both readied their blades and slowly entered the cave. They kept their lights deactivated, their optics sharp enough to see the details without the added light, and moved slowly.

_**'What if it is a 'Con?'**_

Shooting his brother a look, Sunstreaker raised an optic ridge. _**'I'd like to offline it, but we're to capture and secure.'**_ He moved past Sideswipe, who looked about as disappointed as he felt, and watched as the tunnel lead to a surprisingly gigantic cavern. Freezing at the entrance, his optics widened. _**'Oh, slag! Sunstreaker to Optimus, we have two 'Cons, both currently in recharge.'**_

_**'Move quietly, secure both.'**_ Optimus confirmed grimly. _**'Take no unnecessary risks, and... Watch. Your. Backs.'**_ The comm channel closed once again, leaving the twins to stare at their targets.

_**'Remember the primary shut down switch.'**_ Sideswipe advised, moving towards the larger of the two unmoving mechs. _**'Go for that first, and they shouldn't stand a chance.'**_

_**'I could use a fight.'**_ The yellow Corvette grumbled, his optics narrow as he made his way over to the other target. _**'But...orders are orders I suppose.'**_ Approaching from behind, he paused as Sideswipe stepped behind the other. Just as his twin was about to flip the switch, the optics of his target lit up and landed on Sunny himself.

"Autobot scum!" He spat out in anger, in Cybertronian. He made to get up, and Sunstreaker stepped back when his own 'Con began to move.

Both Corvettes moved quickly, forcing their targets into a stasis lock before securing their limbs and deactivating their weapons. Once they were done, they sat down and waited.

"How long until the others-"

"Another fifteen earth minutes." Sides answered, already knowing the question. He placed his chin in his hand and looked down at the two 'Cons, before lightly kicking one. "This is gonna be boring."

Seeing the ugly mugs, relaxed in stasis, Sunstreaker's optics narrowed a little as he got a particularly evil idea. "We don't have to be bored." Reaching back, he grabbed a couple of large pens.

These weren't your normal pens, either. They were larger, built for Autobots, and were filled with paint. In other words, they were for repairing scratches in paint and made especially for the twins, because of their vanity.

Sideswipe's optics widened as he reached back and grabbed his own. Each carried a variety of colors, just in case. Standing up, they each took a 'Con and got to work. It took them until the sounds of the others approaching to finish their work, and they stepped back as the others entered, Optimus leading the way.

"Report." The leader of the Autobots approach, his optics on his men and not even touching the 'Cons laying prone on the ground.

"Subdued and secured with no problems."

"Unless they got any signals out in two seconds." Sideswipe added with a wince. "They onlined just before we took them out."

Optimus paused a second before nodding. "Designations?"

"Didn't have a chance to find out before offlining them." Sunny shrugged a little and gestured down to them. "We can always online them after Ratchet's disabled their internal and long range communications."

With another nod Optimus looked down. He took in the forms before him before frowning and activating his lights to see better. Upon the 'Cons being lit up, the twins snickered a little, and Jazz all but broke out laughing.

"Oh, man! Nice work!"

Arcee raised an optic ridge at the pink optic ridges of the 'Cons. She took in the painted purple lip plates, the big pink circles on the cheeks, and the painted 'tongues' on their lower lip plates. "Remind me to never let you apply the human femmes' make up."

"As if we'd _want_ to paint them." Sunny growled in distaste.

"As if they'd _want_ you to paint them." Ironhide added with a snicker, taking a picture of the 'Con faces.

"We were bored." Sideswipe shrugged.

Ratched raised an optic ridge. "At least you took it out on them, for a change."

Prowl nodded, feeling immensely relieved that, that _was_ the case. He thanked Primus he _wasn't_ their target, for a change, but also made a note to see to it they were never allowed to carry those pens when on the base.

Optimus had remained quiet all this time, his battle mask in place. Not because they were on a mission, but because he was trying not to laugh. Looking through the worldwide web, he realized they were painted up and looked a lot like Cybertronian versions of 'clowns'. With a sigh, he turned to Ratchet, not even bothering to keep his smirk hidden, because his mask was in place. "Can you disable their internal and long range communications?"

With a nod, the medic got down to work, even as the gathered Autobot snickered and laughed at the image before them. Even Ratchet had a little difficulty focusing, considering he kept gazing at their faces and snorting back laughter.

By the time they finished their work and questioning, most of the bots had to leave, they were laughing so hard. The growling, insulting 'Cons with their 'make up' was a bit too much for most, and in a twist, Optimus decided to let them go.

When asked why, he removed his battle mask and let them all see his amused smirk.

"I was thinking of their welcome back at their base, looking like _that_."

Considering they'd been interrogated by the enemy and released for reasons no one could understand, they were not only an embarrassment, but also a liability. Megatron wouldn't stand for that, and they'd be offlined.

But not before their base got a good laugh.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Hope you like it.

R+R please.

Thank you.

Tenshi


	46. Aside

**Disclaimer** : I don't own it.

**Note** : This is an aside to the previous chapter, showing what happened with the painted 'cons when they returned to their base. *Snickers* Requested by **sacred histories**. And I just finished another Dancing Autobot chapter, which means I now have yet _another_ video I can never watch again, without laughing my aft off! LOL

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**(Normal POV)**

As the two 'cons fled the Autobots who were interrogating them, they kept waiting to be blasted out of existence. Optimus Prime wore an almost evil smirk, and they knew that meant absolutely _nothing_ good for them, thus increasing their speed.

The laughter of the ever annoying Autobots irritated both 'cons, who exchanged a look, but they both knew taking on the entire force was far too much for them, and they kept on their way. They'd head towards a heavily wooded area, in order to throw off the Autobots, before heading back to base. While they were 'successfully' interrogated, they gave away nothing important.

Now, here's hoping Megatron saw it the same way.

First, however, they were going to head to a small lake in the before mentioned heavily wooded area, and try to scrub off the infuriating 'paint job' the twins had given them, almost having run into trees when they first noticed it on each other.

"Slagging Autobot fools! How dare they??" The 'con with the pink optic ridges growled lowly, swerving around a tree and pausing at the edge of the lake before transforming. "Who do they think they are, I'll have their afts for this!"

The 'con with the bright green lip plates agreed whole heartedly, though he remained silent. He ducked his entire head underwater, noting with satisfaction that any and all aquatic life fled before his hideously pink cheeks and purple optic ridges. He grumbled silently as he scrubbed at his face hard, nearly removing his optic ridges in his attempt to rid them of the horrid paint.

He held his breath, scrubbing and scrubbing, then pulled back, cycling his vents to clear them of the water, and pulling a small trout out of his audio port, shaking out the water that remained behind. Tossing the trout carelessly back into the water, he turned to find his partner with his own head underwater, and was sorely tempted at the sight.

_Hmm...Aft waving in the air..._ He powered up one of his cannons and took aim. _Megatron will believe us better if at least one of us is injured._ Aiming very carefully, he fired, laughing as his partner screamed and jumped about two feet in the air, landing in the center of the pond, where his smoking aft sizzled as it hit the water.

"What the _frag_?!"

With a shrug, the green lipped 'con smirked. "It was there." Rolling his optics, he rubbed at his face, and frowned deeply upon seeing the paint still on the other Decepticon. "It didn't work, slag it! They used permanent paint!"

The optics of the other 'con went from dangerously narrowed, to wide with horror as he grabbed at his own face, and attempted to look at his reflection in the lake, only to realize that while moving, the lake surface was far from still enough to make anything out. With a low, groan, he sagged down, sitting on his aft in the water, which came up to his chin. "Now what?" He winced a little, standing back up and rubbing gingerly at the aching point in his aft, where he'd been blasted. "You just _had_ to shoot me..."

"Your aft was in my face. I did something about it. Get over it." There was another shrug. "Come on, we'd better get back." He shuddered a little. "And report to the others."

"Not without getting this pit-blasted paint off, first!"

"We don't have time! We're due back in twenty five earth minutes! Do _you_ wanna be the one to keep Megatron waiting??" With a snarl, the 'con changed and led the way through the forest, keeping his sensors on full blast in search of any possible Autoscum spies. _Those slagging twins are gonna pay for this! I swear! _He growled and continued on.

It took them longer than they expected to get back, but then, neither of them really _planned_ to make pit stops to try and scrub off the paint, or even cover it with mud.

"What is this, non-stick??" The 'con with the pink optic ridges rubbed at the mud caked on his face, glaring absently when the reflectiong in another pond showed him it wasn't doing anything to cover the paint.

"Heh, mud masks." The other 'con muttered, his face literally done up like he was in the spa. He even cut down a small tree, and cut two slabs of the trunk, so he had circular discs, and placed them over his optics, before reclining back.

The pink 'con stared at the other for a long moment, torn between simply offlining him for his nonesense, or laughing at the absurd picture he created. Shaking his head, he cycled his vents and turned away. "Come on, we'd better hurry. We're gonna be late as it is."

By the time they made it back to the base, both 'cons were exhausted. They grumped to each other as they climbed through the halls, and glared at the other 'cons who dared snicker and laugh at them.

"What the frag happened to you, two? You... You resemble clowns!" Skywarp smirked and snickered a little. "Hah, Decepticlowns!" He then paused, realizing he, too, was a Decepticon, and therefor he just insulted himself.

"Megatron's waiting. Move it, air head." He shoved past the seeker, who snarled in response, and entered the throne room where Megatron sat. Their leader looked upon them, blinking a moment and his optics narrowing. "I told you two to blend in, and _this_ is what you do? How is dressing _this_ blending in??" He got up and stalked forward, his lips twitching, though no one knew if it was from laughter or rage. "Imbeciles!"

"The Autobots did this to us!"

All sound paused in the room, as Megatron's head snapped around to the green-lipped 'con, who was bent low. "The Autobots... They did this... That would mean..." He stomped over and grabbed the 'con by the throat. "You let them _close_ enough to do so! What else did they do?! Starscream, scan them for tracking devices!"

"Nothing, they interrogated us and let us go!"

Optics narrowed even more as Megatron growled and dropped the 'con. He glared at them a long moment, before holding out his arm, indicating he wanted a memory interface, so he could see for himself. The pink-lidded 'con hurried to connect himself to his leader, only to be thrown across the room moments later.

"Well, I have good news and bad news for you..._femmes._" Turning back to his throne, Megatron sat down and glared at them, though he had a dark smirk on his face. "The good news is, you didn't tell them anything of import and your scans are clear. The bad, you two look like utter baffoons, and you are forbidden to remove the paint until I say so!"

Both 'cons lowered, groaning in dismay as they realized they were going to be the butt of jokes until Megatron granted them permission to clean their faces. As they turned to leave, his voice caught their attention.

"And no more clowning around!"

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**Note** : I have no idea who most of the Decepticons are, so I figured... Make them land based, and keep identities out of there. You can decide to make them whoever you want.

Hope you like it.

R+R please.

Thank you.

Tenshi


	47. Humans vs Autobots, Happy Halloween

**Disclaimer** : I don't own it.

**Note** : I got this idea from **hummergrey**'s 'If an Autobot, do NOT do the following', chapter 44. Just a mention of a prank that turned Autobots... Well, I'm not gonna give it away. Read on, and/or read **hummergrey**'s fic. :) Also, Sides and Sunny's 'costumes' are her idea, not mine.

Oh, and I know it's a _little_ early, but HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**(Mikaela's POV)**

I looked up, smirking as Sam helped Will set up the streamers that would hang from the ceiling. I watched my husband as he climbed the ladder and reached up to tape the streamer to a corner of the ceiling, causing his shirt to rise a little and expose a delicious strip of flesh around his waist. Thinking about it, I couldn't help but giggle quietly, remembering what I'd so blatantly told him I was into boys with big arms.

He was never that big a guy, muscular wise, but he had a heart that more than made up for it, and I loved him for who he was. He'd also bulked up a little, with all the running and exercise the events in Egypt.

Wincing a little, I looked down at the costume I was working on, for Mojo. _He died that day._ I shuddered a little, and then smirked at the irony of his costume. _He gets to be a zombie, and me a vampire. At least we'll match...sorta._ Sewing another leg into the costume, I began thinking again.

_The Autobots were invited, and they wanted to experience Halloween. One problem, they're a _little_ too big for _any_ costume._ I looked at the book in front of me, listing all kinds of costume ideas. _This'll be their first Halloween, we should make it memberable._

Suddenly, I stopped what I was doing.

Glancing up, I saw Sarah and Annabelle giggling as they worked on cookies. Will and Epps were blowing up balloons using a helium machine, and then sucking the helium out of the balloons and talking casually in chipmunk voices -which of course made everyone who noticed laugh their asses off. Maggie and Glen were over programming something into a computer and discussing healthy food options, as Ratchet would have a fit if it was _all_ candy. Then there were the Witwicky parents, fitting mojo with more bling, and talking about the party this night.

A slow smirk crossed my features when I realized we had everything we needed to pull the ultimate prank. Then I bit my lips. _Except it'll be pretty much impossible to get half the bots with them online and functional, and no one bot will help us if he's gonna be a target, too._ And I wanted to include them all. The question was, how to get them to cooperate?

The answer seemed simple. Make sure they know it won't interfere with any of their systems.

But again, that would involve informing them. Most of the bots wouldn't agree to it.

"Maggie?" I called slightly, waving her over and blowing a kiss at Sam, who'd turned as well. When the blonde woman sat down next to me, I looked at her a long moment. "Do the Autobots go offline at all, before the party?" Just spitting it out seemed best, at the moment. "Like a recharge or anything?"

She nodded a little, looking thoughtful. "I believe they're doing it in shifts. A third of the bots will be recharging at 1700 hours, then the second group at 1800 and the final at 1900, that way they'll all be fully functional for the party."

I nodded a little. "You wouldn't happen to be able to get a list of who's recharging where, would you?"

Maggie stared at me suspiciously a moment. I don't know what my face showed, but she slowly nodded, a small smirk toying at the corners of her mouth. "I can. It should be simple, really, there'll be a roster so all Autobots know."

"Ok." I mentally ran over instructions Ratchet gave in reprogramming the trans-scanner for their alternate forms, which was surprisingly simple compared to Autobot surgery. "Can you help me...." I looked around, ignoring the wary looks the other people in the room were shooting us, and making sure no Autobots were in hearing range. "Reprogramm their trans-scanners?"

"Why?"

_Why not?_ "Because it's a Halloween party. It's just not traditional to show up _without_ a costume." I smirked again.

Her eyes widened a moment, before narrowing. "I think I can have something ready in the next hour, if you want to grab the tools?"

I nodded, and her smirk broadened darkly. We spoke about involving the others, and decided Glen would work best as a distraction. Also known as, we'd send him to get some random information from Ratchet while I snuck in behind and grabbed the tools necessary. Sam would keep Optimus busy so Will and Robert could sneak in and steal Autobot physiology schematics that we knew were in one of the drawers in his dresser. Judy and Ron would simply keep Wheeljack distracted by allowing him to exray Mojo, which luckily was harmless.

We split into our groups, each wearing what I'm sure were identical smirks, and went our separate ways with instructions to meet back up here at 1400 hours. That would give us two hours to accomplish our planning and ready ourselves.

This wouldn't be easy, but it was our mission and we would not fail.

**(Optimus Prime's Quarters, 1900 Hours)**

"You know, I didn't think this would be so difficult." I whispered to Maggie, absently wiping sweat from my face and leaning in, squinting through the goggles as I carefully switched a couple of wires.

"It wouldn't have been...." She shot me an equally as tired look. "If it was _one_ Autobot. We've already done Ratchet, Ironhide, Prowl, the minor twins, Jolt, the Arcee triplets..." She hastily set up the scan, and I held up the object to be scanned. Aiming it, she let the scanner run over the object, and then began recovering the area we'd opened up.

"Let's not forget Bumblebee, Jazz, Sideswipe and Sunstreaker." I hissed, picking up the tools and carefully pausing at the edge of the berth. Climbing down was a hassle, but amazingly enough I managed it somehow.

Maggie followed after, with a nod. "You're telling me." She flexed her fingers a little and winced, before gesturing to the door, and we hurried out. "I thought I was gonna have a heart attack when Ratchet fidgeted. I thought he was waking up on me."

I giggled a little. "Imagine how I felt when Bumblebee decided to turn over, with me standing on his chest." Looking down, I rubbed at my ankle a little, which was still aching from the fall. "I was just lucky not to end up with a broken leg."

"Who would have thought Autobots were fidgety sleepers?"

Giggling again, we split up after exchanging a high five, and headed to our rooms, where we got ready for the party. I hid the tools the best I could, cleaned up, then set to work on the complex make-up that would give me the pale white skin of a vampire. I eyed the gown in the corner of the room, with the long blood red skirt and black lace corset body, and smirked again before getting back to work.

**(The Party, Later)**

Sarah smirked as she looked over at us. Ironhide was crouched low, looking at Annabelle intently, poking at her extremely gently and looking confused at her constume. "Apparently he doesn't get the 'one pea in a pod' thing." She murmured, watching as her daughter clutched one of the green 'pea's and squirmed in her little 'pod'. "So how's it work, anyways?"

I smirked and tugged the bodice of my dress a little, to sit more comfortably. "They'll transform into their vehicle modes, to take us to the main party, and when they transform back..." I raised an eyebrow, smiling devilishly when Ironhide's head swung up, and he blinked at Will, who was dressed as a soldier.

Bumblebee walked into the room, rubbing at his head a moment, and then paused. His eyes landed on Sam, as my zombie-husband walked over, and widened considerably. With an almost miserable warble, he ran over and collapsed to his knee, his hands framing Sam and running close to him, but acting like he was afraid to touch him.

Sam for his part looked amused, and only slightly confused. "Bee?"

'_**Shhh! Shhh! Don't try to talk.'**_ The unknown man's voice was low and almost soothing, coming out of Bee's speakers, before the little yellow bot turned away and began screeching and clicking._** 'Medic! Medic!'**_

Ratchet came racing into the room and skidded to a stop next to Bee, crouching down. He clicked and whirrled to the youngling, before turning wide eyes on Sam. "What the pit?! Sam, what happened to you?" He froze a moment, then frowned. "Slag! It seems my scans are malfunctioning. They are telling me you're fine, but I can _see_ the injuries!"

I blinked a moment, then busted up laughing. I could hear a few of the others laughing as well, as Sam tried to dodge an insistent metal hand, as well as explain. It took him a few moments, and in that time, the rest of the Autobots arrived.

Kissing Sam on the cheek, I bid him 'I'll see you soon' as I went over to Optimus. He already knew about the plan, so he climbed into Bee, and I carefully climbed into the warm, humming cab of the semi.

"Mikeala. It's good to see you again, although I am surprised you are not riding with your husband."

I smiled and patted the dash slightly, leaning back as the seatbelt slid down and over me on it's own. "Oh, I just had something I wanted to talk to you about." _More like...check and make sure you weren't gonna kill me._

"Oh?" He moved out behind Ironhide and before the Corvette twins as we made our way towards the beach, where we'd set up the main party.

After all, what was a Halloween party on a military base? Well, ok, it was probably pretty good, but still... It was a nice night out. "Yeah, you see... The other humans and I got together and pulled a prank on you guys."

The truck engine spluttered and swerved, causing Sideswipe to honk his horn angrily, and Ironhide to swerve to the side and slam on the brakes. There was silence a moment as Optimus seemed to be telling them something, and then we pulled back onto the road.

"Don't worry!" I hurried to assure him. "It won't harm any of your systems or leave you vulnerable or anything."

"What did you do?" His tone was grim and wary.

Smirking a little, I shrugged. "You'll see. I just wanted to make sure you knew, and you can't kill us.....right?" I bit my lip a little, wondering if there was a loop hole in that, that I didn't know about. When the truck remained suspiciously quiet, I felt my eyes narrow. _Right...?!_

Then he seemed to sigh. "You are correct. I sincerely doubt many of us will be happy, but we will not harm you." Then there was a low chuckle. "However, you _might_ just end up pranked yourselves."

"We can take it." I smirked, glancing back at the Corvettes behind me.

"Ah, yes, I heard about your little prank on the twins. Very nicely done. Ratchet is _still_ laughing about it, and you even got Prowl to chuckle." A low laugh reached my ears and the semi seemed to shake a little.

I smirked even bigger as we arrived at the beach. "What can I say? They know better now, I hope." As the seatbelt released me, I patted the dash again before climbing out and heading towards Sam. As I approached his side, I saw that he was laughing his ass off. "Show time."

And indeed, the show began.

With the sound of gears rearranging, the Autobots all began to change. However, instead of changing into their usual forms, their metallic armor shifted differently, changing shape and color where needed. The arms and legs appeared where they should, and all the humans stared in shock at what emerged.

"What?" Ironhide glared down at us, his eyes glowing darkly and his voice gruff. However, his usual frightening exterior did nothing to qwell the laughter of the humans as they took in his form.

"Nice tutu." Sarah snickered under her breath.

Bumblebee tilted his head a little, the center of a bunch of human girls cooing and 'aww'ing over his form. He blinked a little, his wings shifting and causing more 'awwww's of adoration.

People snickered and giggled at the clueless Corvette twins, who glared and stared down at them, and frowned in confusion.

Already having a heads up, Optimus looked around. His eye widened in shock, horror and amusement, and his jaw hung slackly as he took in the others. Immediately, his eye went dim, and I knew he was looking something up.

"Arrr! Shiver me timbers!" Epps cried, staring at Optimus. "Nice eye patch."

Blinking, Optimus looked down at himself, before narrowing his eye at me. "Thanks." He blinked again, a truly odd sight.

Then again, the currently costume-ized Autobots were a truly odd sight in themselves.

Walking over, Will turned to me and Maggie. The Major was dressed in his formal military gear, and Maggie was dressed up as a bar wench. "So, do I need to ask?" He took a good look at Ironhide, and nearly doubled over in choked laughter.

I smirked and began explaining, pointing to each bot as I went. "Optimus Prime, the pirate, obviously." The leader of the Autobots blinked down at me with a pirate's hat on, an eye patch, and a metallic peg leg. I giggled. "Bumblebee the Bumblebee." Bee's armor was striped more than usual, with rounder, puffier looking wings. He also had a flexible stinger and his antennai were elongated. Not very original but _damn_ he was cute!

People cooed at the little scout, who looked down, made an odd little grunt, and then began flapping his door wings more.

Ironhide, finally getting the hint, looked down. Despite the laughter on the beach, he growled lowly, his optics flashing red as he took in his form.

"Ratchet, the-" I snickered and then giggled. "Stuffed teddy bear doctor." People laughed at the big fuzzy ears and white doctor coat.

Looking down, he glared and reached for his wrench, holding it up without even looking. "Yes, that's it, keep laughing." He muttered warningly, his eyes narrowed as he adjusted the stethoscope hanging around his neck with big stuffed paws.

When people indeed kept laughing, he glanced out of the corner of his eye and his eyes widened in horror. He took in what he'd _thought_ was the wrench, glowering at people when he found out it was a really big lolipop instead.

"Ironhide the tooth fairy." Epps actually laughed so hard, he _fell over_. Ironhide snarled, but not even Prowl could keep a straight face when taking in the massive pink tutu, pink slipper shoes and pink wand sticking out of one of Hide's cannons. Said second in command shook his head, returning his gaze to me, although his head was smoking like a chimney.

"We didn't bother with Prowl." I shrugged a little. "I couldn't really think of what to make him." _Besides, Sam's already a zombie, and I didn't wanna piss off the Autobot who could lock me in the brig for a month.._ And that had been the only real idea I had. "Jazz is....well, a jazz man." _Again zombie was taken. _Jazz was wearing a long black leather coat with his visor shaped into sunglasses, and a beret hanging off one horn.

Maggie nodded and giggled. "Sunstreaker's a bat." She snickered at the tiny bird-like legs and big black wings. In fact, the entire body was black, and his optics were tinted yellow as he glared down at her, hissing and baring fangs. "Sideswipe's a pumpkin." Sides looked down at his decidedly much _fatter_ body, his black, triangular eyes widening, and his jagged mouth dropping in horror at the orange of his armor.

"What the _slag_?! Which one of you did this??" Ironhide finally growled loudly.

With a smirk, I accepted a bottle of juice from Sam. "All of us were in on it, Hide." My smirk grew. "Even Will, Sarah and Annabelle." Though Annabelle had acted more like a distraction, while Sarah played the 'I've got so much to do, can you watch her for a second?' card.

His eyes widened anda horribly betrayed look crossed his face. He turned to his humans, who looked torn between being guilty and amused. "_Why?!?!_" He'd never sounded more vulnerable and betrayed than in that instant, and Sarah walked over with Annabelle the pea and patted his foot sympathetically, before cracking up at the sight of the pink 'slipper'.

Arcee and her sisters were dressed up as amazons, in skimpy armor that had all the mechs staring, whether they meant to or not, but rather than complaining, they seemed to be enjoying themselves.

"Bzzz!" Bumblebee's eyes were half closed, and he had a huge grin on his face, enjoying all the girls climbing all over him. _**'Sweet little Bumblebee, I know what you want from me.'**_ He swayed a little from his cross legged position on the ground.

I giggled as I saw the little Autobot scout clearly enjoying himself. Even Optimus' half glare -you can't very well fully glare with only one eye- melted as he took in the youngling. Skids, who was done up as a praying mantis, complete with little bent claws that pressed together in a praying motion, snickered at his brother, was even stockier than usual in his ladybug get up.

"Why would you do this?" Ratchet asked through gritted lip plates, looking down at his fluffy 'paws'.

I smirked up at him, leaning into Sam's arms. "One reason and one reason only." Exchanging a look with the others, I held up a hand and slowly counted down. "5...4...3...2...1..."

"HAPPY HALLOWEEN!" We all yelled, some people popping bottles of champagne and tossing handfuls of confetti in the air. While it seemed a little more festive, this _was_ a party. After a little more complaining, most of the Autobots settled down, after I promised to personally work with Maggie to reverse this afterwards. Ironhide kept sulking, but Sarah and Annabelle stayed with him, enjoying themselves, and if you looked closely, you could see his lips trembling in a tiny smile.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Hope you like it.

R+R please.

Thank you.

Tenshi


	48. Optimus, Barbie Girl

**Disclaimer** : I don't own it. I also don't own any songs used in this fic at all.

**Note** : Heh, I had a whole note written out to tell people my muse to write any more chapters for this story was dying out and what happens...? I write three chapters in a day. Hm... Well, I don't know how much longer that's going to keep up, so I'm going to milk it for all it's worth. LOL. Hm, don't you just hate it when you dream of an excellent prank idea, but forget it right when you wake up again?

P.S.... If I ever win the lottery, I'm going to petition Bay (and the creators of the Crazy Frog Popcorn video) to use them to create a video of the Autobots dancing to Popcorn. LMAO.

OMP!! Wow, I was just randomly googling 'Corvette Twins' on the net, and the very first link was to chapter 21 of this very fic! OMP! Wow, never seen that before. O.o LOL I don't know if that happens a lot, but wow... I'm surprised. LOL

**NOTE 2** : I want to thank everyone for their reviews last chapter, but for some reason I was unable to reply to them individually, so I'm going to do here.

**Heaven's Archer** - Yeah Bumblebee Bee was adorable. Bee in general is 'awe'-worthy. LOL I know, LMAO. I can't get over that. "Excuse me, are you the tooth fairy?"

**Jovianokamigirl** - Heh, actually Sunstreaker and Sideswipe's costumes were **hummergrey**'s idea. Hm, Prowl the gargoyle? Never even thought about it.

**KittenCeez** - Awww, I've always wanted to go to Australia. You don't celebrate Halloween? Hm, I don't usually, either, though this year I'm thinking of hanging out wth my mom. Heh, Ironhide will never live down the tooth fairy rap.

**Sacred histories** - LOL. Trust me, I've got some pretty cute ones coming.

**Starfire201** - Oh, it's coming up soon. I actually have two dancing chapters. Yeah, poor Ironhide. He'll never live it down. Bee's always adorable. LOL

**Clifjumpersfangirl** - Thank you :)

**Princess Lena aka Lady Kittuna** - Thank you. :) Actually, I remembered someone requesting the Bumblebee song, so I decided to add that in. LOL

**Topkicker26** - LOL. Glad you liked it. :)

**Lunatic Pandora1** - thank you :) Hm, I'm not sure what ideas I have left, but I'll see if I can find any other ideas. :) Liberty Prime. LOL That sounds like a combination of the Statue of Liberty and Optimus Prime. *Imagines Optimus in a robe, and falls over laughing.*

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**(Normal POV)**

Skids narrowed his optics as he looked at the wire relays in front of him. They looked endless, and so fragile, and he winced at what he was doing, wishing he'd paid more attention in his wiring classes. Especially considering what he was rewiring.

Or..._who_ he was rewiring.

Looking down at the large mech laying motionless on the berth below him, he grimaced a little and turned back to his work. He touched one relay, and barely bit back a hiss as the wire sparked and shocked him a little, causing him to jump.

_**'Hurry it up, will ya?!'**_ Mudflap was standing guard at the door, and shot his brother a look. _**'He'll be wakin' up any moment.'**_

Sticking his tongue out at his brother, Skids returned to his work, delicately taking two wires and purposely crossing them. Then he removed a digital casette tape, smirked to himself, and pushed it into a waiting slot. As the whirring of gears told him the information was being uploaded, he struggled not to laugh. _**'We'd better make sure boss bot never finds out this was us.'**_ He was suddenly filled with a renewed sense of dread.

His brother frowned a little and shared an understanding look with his twin, before smirking. _**'We'll blame it on the other twins. They're always gettin' into trouble, so no one will believe them when they deny it.'**_

Hesitating only momentarily, Skids nodded a little, before returning to the task at hand. The tape finished uploading and he ejected it, slipping it into a holding space as he quickly finished the rewiring and put his tools away. Replacing the panels, he nearly silently hopped down off the berth and practically tip toed to the door, and out it. Then he and his brother transformed and beat a hasty retreat.

**(Optimus' Office)**

He cycled his vents for the twenty seventh time that day, staring down at the reports in front of him. He was sorting them out in order of priority, then he'd look at the most important ones, if his troops ever stopped bringing reports in.

Even as he thought that, there was a beep at his door, and Ironhide walked in. With a nod, he handed Optimus a report and walked back out.

It had been like that all day. Not one word was said as officers walked in, handed in reports or recited oral ones, and disappeared again. Optimus just had to accept and read the written ones, and sit back and listen to the oral ones.

Tilting his head to the side a little, he cracked his joints a little, wincing and then sighing in relief. Then he abruptly stiffened, as he realized something about one of his neck panels was off. He checked it out, but it only seemed to be a little lose.

It was entirely possible he'd simply knocked it lose during his recharge last night.

Speaking of which, he reviewed the security logs, noting only one anomaly. Prowl had found the security cameras showing the Autobot recharge berths had malfunctioned, and a look into it suggested sabotage. At the moment, Ratchet was currently taking a look at all bots within the area, looking for which ones might have been sabotaged. Luckily, he wasn't in the infected area.

Reaching down, he picked up a pad, tapping it scrolling through the list of most recent security breaches. Nothing too big was listed, but for a few missing parts, reported to have been stolen by the Corvette twins for one of their pranks. He put the list back down, and picked up the next one, looking over files for new NEST personelle due to arrive on base shortly.

After several more minutes, his internal comm system beeped, and Ratchet's voice filled the line.

_**'Your turn, Optimus, and no skipping out this time.'**_

Narrowing his optics, Optimus paused in getting up. _**'I do not 'skip' Ratchet.'**_

There was a slight pause, and then a cycling of vents. Somehow, Optimus realized it was probably a very good thing he wasn't in the med bay this very instant, or he might have gotten a wrench up the side of the head for that, even if he wasn't being comedic.

_**'Just get down here.'**_

Rolling his optics, Optimus stood straight, stretched and groaned a little before making his way to the door of his office. He paused and looked back at the numerous data pads on his desk, considering having Prowl see to at least some of them, considering they were security related. Shaking his head, he shoved the thought to the back of his processor and left his office.

At least on the upside, the day was fairly quiet. It was all nodded or waved greetings. Mechs and femmes were milling around, talking about different ways to pass the time. Surprisingly, even the Chevy twins and the Corvette twins were quiet.

Something that had Prowl and Ironhide keeping a close eye on them.

Once he entered the med bay, he nodded in greeting to Mikaela, who was perched on Ratchet's shoulder, and Sam who was milling around aimlessly on one of the higher tables, out of the way.

Sitting down on the berth, Optimus waited while Ratchet lowered Mikaela onto one of his blue and red armored arms, before settling back a little, carefully, and allowing Ratchet to scan.

"Have you noticed anything unusual?" The routine questions began.

Optimus thought for a moment. Opening his mouth, he went to tell Ratchet that he'd been feeling fine. However, the sound that emerged from his throat had him second guessing that.

_**Hi Barbie.**_

_**Hi Ken.**_

_**Wanna go for a ride?**_

_**Sure Ken.**_

Blinking a moment, Optimus closed his mouth, watching as Ratchet froze still and stared down at him with big blue optics. Hearing a high pitched giggle, he angled his head down to Mikaela, who was currently standing on his chest armor. He once again opened his mouth, fully intending to ask what was going on.

_**I'm a barbie girl,**_

_**In a barbie worrrrrlllld.**_

_**Made of plastic,**_

_**It's fantastic.**_

He slammed his mouth shut audibly as Mikaela cracked up, and shot a glare over to Sam who was also laughing. Feeling his cooling fans switching on, he ground his teeth a little. he had to look up the song to realize it was a 'girly' song, and he glared even harder.

"I'll take that as a yes, to noticing anything unusual." Ratchet intoned dryly, his shoulders shaking a little.

Feeling the slight tingling, and hearing the hum, Optimus knew Ratchet was scanning him.

_**You can brush my hair,**_

_**Undress me anywhereeee.**_

"No, thanks!" Sam called, snickering a little.

"What hair?" Mikaela asked at the same time, one eyebrow raised, and a slightly disturbed look on her face.

When Optimus looked over, Sam was staring at him intently a moment, before shuddering and tearing his gaze away, looking a little disturbed. Part of the large bot was curious as to what the boy was thinking, but he'd learned his lesson on opening his mouth.

With a low hum to himself, Ratchet carefully opened a patch on Optimus' shoulder. "Ahh, I see someone took their rewiring class seriously." He frowned. "Unfortunately."

_I'd like to think 'fortunately', considering one wrong move could have left me paralyzed on the one side._ Optimus thought to himself, opening his mouth to verbalize that thought.

_**Come on barbie, lets go party,**_

_**Ha ha ha ya!**_

_**Come on barbie lets go party,**_

_**oOoh, oOoh!**_

A low hiss sounded and Optimus' optics flashed darkly as they narrowed. _**'Ratchet, I want you to find who did this.'**_ He spoke over the internal communications network, considering _they,_ at least, seemed to be ok. _**'Then you are going to sedate them and let **_**me**_** rewire**_** them**_**.'**_

With a smirk, Ratchet set to work. He called Mikaela over to help him get to work in the smaller areas, pulling some smaller, less sensitive wires lose and replacing them where they belonged. As she worked, the human began to hum, and Optimus' cooling fans switched up a notch when he realized _what_ she was humming.

Shooting her a slightly dark look, he watched as she looked up, caught his gaze, and blushed.

"Sorry. It's a catchy tune." She went quiet she returned to her work, and the rewiring continued quietly.

....For about five minutes.

The whistling of the same tune caught Mikaela's ears, and she began laughing when Optimus growled, turned to Sam, and opened his mouth to tell the boy off.

_**I love you Ken!**_

Optics widening, Optimus slammed his mouth shut and glared at Sam who had the decency to blush and gave him an odd look.

"Well, I'm flattered, but I already have a wife I love with all my heart." Sam snickered a little. "Talk about starcrossed lovers." He murmured to himself, sending Ratchet and Mikaela into fits of laughter.

Shuttering his optics, Optimus forced himself into recharge, absolutely _refusing_ to deal with this anymore than he already had. One thing was for sure, though. _Someone_ was going to pay!

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Hope you like it.

R+R please.

Thank you.

Tenshi


	49. Optimus, Mistletoe

**Disclaimer** : I don't own it.

**Note** : I have so many chapters done at the moment (well, 5), and I don't know which one to post first. LMAO. Guess I'll go with this one. I will tell you what's coming up though...

Seriously Mass Prank - Thriller

Megatron - I Will Survive

Ratchet - Bah Humbug

Prowl - Snapped.

Oh, and you know you have it bad when you dream of there being an Autobot/Decepticon fight in your town, but Megatron disappears and you help Optimus look for him only to realize.... Said leader of the Decepticons is doing a pole dance on the top of one of the nearby buildings. *Falls over laughing hysterically* Oh my Primus, what a dream! ROFLMFAO!

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**(Sam's POV)**

Raising an eyebrow, I turned and watched as the newest femme walked down the hall. She was taller than the others, leaner and walking with more regalty and inner strength than the others. She was bright pink, and she almost sauntered past Optimus Prime, who's eyes followed her almost longingly. I saw her stiffen up minutely, and the way her optics shot to him before she continued past.

It was subtle, and anyone not paying attention would have missed it. Hell, even anyone _paying_ attention could have missed it! It was just with all my time spent around the Autobots that I'd learned to pick up on the faintest of things. I saw the way her shoulder hunched, the way her steps faltered. I saw the look she shot Optimus, as their optics locked, and I knew what was going on.

When Mikaela and I had been separated for one college semester, we were so awkward around each other after we were reunited. We didn't know what to say or do, and although we really missed each other, we were unsure of...well, anything.

_Hm..._ I watched as Prowl gave them both a knowing look, before turning and walking right into a pile of red and green streamers hanging from the door frame, cursing in Cybertronian as he immediately got tangled, and a laughing Optimus and Elita struggled to free him. _I...._ Watching as they freed him and seemed to stare at each other a long moment, I turned and walked off. _Have an idea, but I'm going to need some help._

I marched off, thinking about what I wanted to do. It _seemed_ simple enough, but there were always complications. I'd definitely need Mikeala's help, and maybe Ratchet as well.

**(Med Bay)**

The lucky thing was the two very people I was looking for could both be found in the same place. With Mikeala being taught under Ratchet, she was more often than not found in the med bay with him.

As I entered the room, I saw him sitting on the berth, 'Keala perched on his knee as he spoke to her. As I entered, they both paused and looked my way, smiling and returning my wave before Ratchet carefully helped Mikaela up and lowered her to the floor.

I hugged her tightly and kissed her tenderly. "Hey gorgeous." She smiled my favorite smile, and it almost felt like time stood still. _Then_ I remembered my idea. "Hey, wanna help me get _another_ pair of lovers together?" When she raised an eyebrow, I explained. "Remember Elita's arrival? It still looks like she and Optimus are pretty awkward together."

"You'd think they'd be over that by now." Ratchet rolled his optics, kneeling on the ground next to us. "They've been sparkmated for ages, and they're both well into their...adult years."

"So?" I frowned a little. "They've also been away from each other for ages."

"It doesn't matter." Shaking his head, Ratchet sighed. "They can sense each other's emotions. Or, rather..." Slowly, his optics narrowed. "They _could_. Elita sustained some damage in her flight from Cybertron." He cursed. "She still can't sense him, and that's probably what's got them so awkward."

"So....we should do something about it." I could see the wary looks on their faces and sighed. "Oh, relax. It's simple and I promise it's harmless. Here's what we do." Leaning forward a little, I began to explain the plan. At first Ratchet looked lost.....

Actually, at no point during the explanation did he ever seem to get it, but considering Mikeala's eerie eagerness to help me out once she heard, he agreed to help readily enough. As soon as the plan was hatched, Ratchet commed Optimus to come to the med bay, while Mikeala and I split up to secure our portions of the...prank.

**(Mikeala's POV)**

I couldn't believe how perfect Sam's idea was. It was simple, required little in the way of materials, would be quick to fulfill and would undoubtedly end up with a sweet, romantic feeling. It definitely reminded me of how lucky I was to have such a sweet, loving guy.

As I walked down the hall, I thought about the spark bond Ratchet had explained to me. While it seemed like it carried a large toll, the ability to always feel what your mate is feeling.... Having it be forever, not temporary, and considering it meant the truest, purest love conceivable, it seemed like a dream come true. The only real downside was when you were separated. You could still feel your mate, and if they were in pain...or if something happened to them...

Shaking my head, I dispelled those thoughts as I walked down another hall. I didn't really know where I was going, I was just wandering around, looking for a new, bright pink femme Autobot.

And I didn't have to look long.

Elita came strolling around the corner, and I called to her, waving when she looked down and blinked at me a moment. "Mikeala Banes-Witwicky?" She tilted her head a little.

I smiled, blushing a little at my name. It was still such a new thing to me. Nodding a little, I gestured her over, waiting as she seemed to search the internet for something -if the dimming of her optics were anything to go by- before walking over and bending down. "Hey. How are you?"

She inclined her head. "Confused. There are so many differences between your planet's customs and my own."

I nodded again. "I can imagine. Actually, that's what I wanted to talk to you about. You heard it's almost Chrismas, right? The time of year we celebrate the birth of baby Jesus, and tend to exchange presents and stuff?" She nodded, and I smiled bigger. "Well, I wanted to explain another custom to you. It's based around a sprig of a plant called 'mistletoe' and usually that plant is placed above a doorway. Can we go somewhere private?"

She nodded silently, her expression quizzical, and held out her hand. It was a little awkward, considering her hand was smaller than Optimus', but I managed to climb in and settle myself comfortably. Then I began mentally rehearsing what I was going to say, and how I was going to explain the custom of 'the mistletoe kiss'.

**(Later)**

Looking to Sam, I raised an eyebrow at the grin that he wore, seemingly threatening to split his face in half. "Do I wanna know?" Realization dawned on me, and I felt my own grin forming. "You found some?" When he shook his head, my grin fell and I frowned. "Then what's with the cheshire grin?"

He snickered a little and looked to where Elita was in conversation with Prowl, who looked confused. "We didn't _find_ any, but we managed to _make_ some."

Now I frowned. "How the hell did you manage to _make_ a plant in an hour??"

A small snort was my answer, and he covered his face as he giggled slightly. "Ratchet. Metal shards. Welder and paint."

Blinking a moment, I still didn't get it. How was that supposed to... Suddenly, Optimus walked into the room and I felt my eyes widen, and my jaw drop. "Oh my freakin' God!" It all made sense, and I grabbed Sam to me, burying my face into his shoulder to muffle my almost screaming laughter.

It didn't help.

All chatter in the room stopped, but for a few gasps and Sam's own muffled laughter against my shoulder. Suddenly, the entire room erupted into laughter loud enough to shake the furniture placed around it.

Daring a peek out of the corner of my eye, I snorted a giggle, which was rather painful, at the confused look on Optimus' face. Then I looked up at Sam, who looked like he was dying of internal laughter. "You actually.... How did you get him to hold still long enough to...??" I looked to Optimus, who was looking around, then to the yellow medibot who was leaning against the wall, energon tears coursing down his cheeks from his own muffled laughter. "_Ratchet?!?!_" I hissed, my eyes widening even more.

"Optimus...?" Prowl tilted his head a little. "What is the purpose of-oof!" He grunted and glared at Ratchet, who had the decency to try and look innocent, even as he removed his elbow from the second in command's side.

Optimus' optics narrowed. "What?" His totally innocent tone sent his troops into even worse hysterics. "_What??_"

Blinking a moment, I saw Elita turn to me in confusion, before understanding crossed her face. With an almost sly look, she sauntered over to the confused leader, slipped one arm gracefully around his neck, then pulled him to her and kissed him deeply.

The entire room went silent as his optics widened momentarily before closing and he seemed to give into the kiss, wrapping his arms around her. They seemed to melt into each other before a loud, forced clearing of the throat brought them apart.

"What was that for?"

Elita smirked and I giggled. "It's an earth custom to kiss one under the mistletoe, although..." She shot a look to the other femmes in the room. "If anyone else goes for it, their aft is mine." Her tone turned into a mock warning, and she smirked as the femmes laughed. Turning back, she winked, and giggled as Optimus looked up, searching the empty doorway for the mistletoe. "It's not on the doorway, sweetspark." With a wink, she sauntered out of the room. "And as the humans say, Merry Christmas!"

He blinked a moment, frowning in confusion. "But... You said..." He turned to see the doorway completely empty.

"It's not on the doorway." I finally spoke up, listening to the choked laughter and almost silent snapping of pictures. As Optimus turned towards me, I smirked. "It's on your forehead."

His optics widened and he walked over to a mirror hanging on the wall. Looking into it, his jaw dropped, and suddenly a very deep growl echoed through the room. Ratchet wisely chose that moment to casually push himself off the wall and quite leisurely walk out of the room, whistling innocently as he twirled a wrench in one hand.

On Optimus' forehead was a large metallic 'sprig' of mistletoe. It was expertly carved with three leaves and three tiny little white berries. It even stood on the end of a branch, which...incidentally, was welded to his forehead.

His cooling jets switched on loudly enough to send everyone into fresh peals of laughter, and he turned to the doorway, stalking out it. "_RATCHET!_"

Turning to Sam, I raised an eyebrow. "Think we should run for it?"

He regarded me silently a moment. "Nah, he wouldn't rat us out...." He nervously glanced at the door. "...Would he?"

"....._SAM! MIKEALA!!_"

Turning to Sam, I grabbed his hand and began running. "You were saying???"

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Hope you like it.

R+R please.

Thank you.

Tenshi


	50. Mass Prank, Thriller

**Disclaimer** : I don't own it.

**Note** : After the Crazy Bot Chapter, someone made mention of using Thriller as a chapter. Well, let's just say....poor Autobots. Requested by **Topkicker26**.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**(Mikeala's POV)**

I sat next to Sam as we watched Thriller on tv. Most of the Autobots were out, doing their own thing, leaving us humans to relax and watch a classic on tv, even as we pigged out on the leftover candy from Halloween. As we watched, Michael Jackson and the girl he was with walked down a path, laughing, and he gave her a ring. I smiled a little, loving this video as I remembered how it went.

"I'm not like other guys." Sam quoted, as he handed me another piece of candy with a smile and a kiss.

I nodded and smiled at him, accepting the candy and kiss and unwrapping it, even as I looked at the movie. "Of course not. That's why I love you." I turned and looked up, giving Sam a kiss on the chin. Grasping the edge of the candy, I popped it in my mouth, only to gasp and spit it back out, causing Sam to crack up laughing. "What the...?"

I ignored the lines in the movie as I looked down at my hand, my jaw dropping at the simple golden band, and the tiny yet exquisite diamond in the center. "Sam...?" I looked up, seeing the girls with wide eyes, and the guys smiling fondly.

Taking the ring, Sam adjusted himself so he was kneeling before me. Looking up at me, he grinned. "Mikeala Banes, would do you me the honor of being my girl?" He wiped my spit off the ring, chuckling again, before holding it up.

I stared in shock at the sparkling ring, before nodding. I held out my hand, and he slipped on the band, coming in close and kissing me, right before we both jumped at a shrill scream on the screen. Laughing, I leaned against him and swatted his chest slightly as if vibrated underneath me. "Wow, that was romantic." I held a hand over my chest and laughed again.

We watched as the 'date' with the wolfman all turned out to be part of the movie, and Michael and the girl left. My eyes shot to the ring, and I smiled before looking back up, even as the music played. Remembering 'Popcorn' with the override chips, I felt my eyes widen as an image began to play across my mind.

I almost leapt up from Sam's arms, turning on the massive couch cushion to face the other humans, with what I'm sure was a pretty scary smirk, considering Will and Epps exchanged a wary look. "Ok, I have an idea for the biggest, most jaw-drop-worthy prank _ever_!" I clapped my hands together, my body trembling and my heart racing. "But I'm gonna need help!"

"Oh hell no!" Will winced as Sarah swatted him and glared at him, before holding a sleeping Annabelle closer. "I mean, no!" He looked back at me. "Ironhide's _still_ got me on his hit list for the costume thing!" Everyone snickered at the tutu reminder.

"And I really don't wanna get on their bad side anymore than I already have." Sam added, sliding down in the couch as if to try and hide himself.

Maggie pursed her lips, but then looked at me. "What's the idea?"

Turning and looking over my shoulder, I watched as Michael Jackson began dancing with the rest of the zombies before turning back and pointing over my shoulder. "_That_!"

They all looked at the screen, with the hoarde of dancing zombies, led by the man in red. Some of them frowned, while others broke into laughter.

"Are you serious?" Maggie's eyes were wide, but she exchanged a look with Glen and smirked. "We're so in!"

"Me, too! This, I'd _pay_ to see!" Epps' eyes sparkled as he laughed.

Sarah nodded and then pouted at Will. "Come on. You know they won't hurt us."

"No, but they might accidentally let us get our afts blasted in battle." Will muttered quietly, before sighing. "Alright, alright." He turned to me, his lips pulling up into a grin. "We're in, obviously."

Lastly, I looked to Sam, who held up his hands in a sign of surrender. "Just tell me what to do."

I grinned and clapped my hands together. "Ok, first... Maggie, we need the override chips, as many as you can get your hands on. The more the better. Glen, we need to program them to synchronize with each other, and to do that." I once again pointed at the screen. "The rest of us will divide into teams to distract the Autobots while they're temporarily stunned and chipped. Then, we'll meet up here, after."

"What's the trigger going to be?"

I smirked and turned to Sam. "The movie, of course. _We're_ going to act out the spoken lines in the movie theatre." I explained the details needed, watching as the others got right into it, their eyes sparkling with amusement as they thought about what we were going to do. Grabbing a piece of candy, I looked at it this time, before shooting Sam a look and popping it into my mouth.

This...was going to be _huge_!

**(Later)**

I walked into the rec room and froze, looking around. There were at least half a dozen video cameras being set up on top of large cabinets and such, aimed skyward, and each one was manned by a snickering sargeant or a chuckling cadet. Then there was the half dozen Autobots milling around, talking, and eyeing the cameras uncomfortably.

Sam was standing in a corner, looking whiter than usual, and walked over muttering as he seemed to keep a wary eye out. When he got to my side, he grabbed me up in a tight, passionate kiss, that left me startled and short of breath. "Did I ever tell you how much I love you?"

Blinking for a moment, I raised an eyebrow. "What happened?"

He shuddered. "Bumblebee fell on me."

I felt my eyes widen, as I immediately began to look him over. "Sam!"

Grabbing my arms, he chuckled a little. "I'm ok. He landed so that an indent in his armor was directly over me, keeping me safe." He shuddered again. "Remind me next time you concoct a crazy plan to say 'no'." He smirked.

Kissing him lightly, I saw Maggie and Glen enter the room, smirking evilly as they nodded to us, and walked over to the couch, where they used a stairway to get up to the top of the piece of furniture and sat down at the top of the flight of stairs, ignoring the giant tv behind them.

Sarah and Will were against the far wall, with Annabelle being bounced in her father's arms. Luckily, this time Sarah thought to bring along a harness that attached to Will, that Annabelle sat in, so if he lost his grip, he wouldn't drop her.

Epps was standing next to them, shaking his head and busting up into seemingly random laughter.

I giggled, unable to help it. Looking around, I saw most of the Autobots were already in the room, with more arriving every moment. As Ratchet and Optimus rolled in and transformed, Maggie flashed me a thumbs up, and I smirked at Sam, as she hit play on the small remote she held, turning on the tv.

I watched as the Autobots all turned towards it, watching the scene before them. My heart pounded in my chest, since this time I was actually supposed to do acting, and pulled Sam next to the stair case at the edge of the sofa.

The Autobots were huddled in a lose group across the room, and the already alerted soldiers quickly vacated the area as the scene progressed to the key point.

Sam tapped my arm, smirking and trembling the faintest bit. "It's only a movie." He widened his eyes and made his look pleading.

We'd memorized the script, and knew when we got to the key point, the Autobots would take over. The music played loudly in the background, and I was aware of Autobot eyes on us as we quoted the characters.

"It's not funny." I pouted and looked down, glancing up through my eyelashes.

Sam swallowed heavily. "You were scared, weren't you?"

"I wasn't that scared."

He nodded. "You were scared."

I turned and began laughing when I saw the stiff, blank look in the Autobot faces. They shuffled around seemingly randomly, but I knew better. Optimus Prime stood in the front, flanked on either side by Ironhide and Prowl. On either side of _them_ was Jazz and Ratchet. All the Autobots stood in formation, but for the femmes, who had yet to arrive.

And no, they weren't part of this. I wanted _someone_ to be free of it, so they could laugh as hard as the rest of us.

On cue, the femmes arrived in the doorway of the room, and paused as Optimus' mouth opened.

_**It's close to midnight, and something evil's lurking in the dark.**_

The voice of Michael Jackson echoed forth from Optimus' Prime's lip plates, and the humans went deadly silent as they stared at the massive robot, who was standing still as a statue. The ones manning the cameras got to work, even as Maggie giggled, shot me a look, and then smirked, looking pretty darn pleased with herself.

_**Under the moonlight, you see a sign that almost stops your heart.**_

_**You try to scream, but terror takes the sound before you make it.**_

_**You start to freeze as horror looks you right between the eyes.**_

_**You're paralyzed.**_

Human eyes were wide, and jaws swung losely, almost creaking in the silent room. Oh, wait, someone's jaw _was_ creaking in the room. Looking up, I saw Chromia's somewhat horrified look, her jaw hanging losely and working soundlessly as Ironhide stood at attention completely silently at Optimus' side.

Flare-up was giggling her aft off, and Arcee just stared blankly.

_**You hear the door slam, and realize there's no where left to run.**_

_**You feel the cold hand, and wonder if you'll ever see the sun.**_

_**You close your eyes, and hope this is all just imagination, girl.**_

_**But all the while, you hear the creature creeping up behind.**_

_**You're out of time.**_

Suddenly, they jumped into action. The Autobots stalked forward three steps in tandem, before jumping, causing all the humans to scramble for cover or to hold the cameras from falling over. They began to dance to the video, copying the movements perfectly, and even swinging their hips like the zombies in the video.

_**'Cause this is thriller, thriller night**_

_**There ain't no second chance against the thing with fourty eyes, girl.**_

_**Thriller, thriller night.**_

_**You're fighting for your life, inside a killer, killer night.**_

I watched, breathless with laughter, as Will's jaw dropped. Sarah was doubled over with laughter, to the point she had to sit down or fall down, and Annabelle was giggling as well. Epps was laughing so hard, he literally _did_ fall over, shortly followed by two other soldiers, who were clutching there stomach laughing.

The Autobots kept dancing, thrusting their hips forward, before swinging them back and forth. They stepped in tandem, swinging their hips forward, even as they swung their arms up, almost hitting each other.

Then a high pitched 'OW!' sounded, and Optimus grabbed his crotch plating, thrusting his hips forward, and causing Chromia to offline when Ironhide and the others followed suit. As the purple femme fell over backwards, Arcee tried to catch her, but was laughing so hard, she was taken down as well. Flare-up was already on the ground, curled up in a tiny ball with energon tears coursing down her cheeks from laughter.

_**Night creatures calling, the dead start to walk their masquerade.**_

_**There's no escaping the jaws of the alien, this time.**_

_**They're open wide.**_

_**This is the end of your life.**_

_**They're out to get you, there's demons closing in on every side.**_

_**They will possess you, unless you change that number on your dial.**_

_**Now is time for you and I to cuddle close together, yeah.**_

_**All through the night I'll save you from the terror on your screen.**_

_**I'll make you see.**_

The bots jumped and spun, before resuming their dancing. My chest ached horribly, and Sam and I were leaning against each other for balance as we watched them. Epps _actually_ laughed himself into unconsciousness, laying there with a grin on his otherwise placid face, and Will finally collapsed to his knees when he realized this, tears coating his cheeks as he struggled to breathe.

Most of the soldiers took this moment to race out of the room in laughter, some crawling, and others holding each other up as they went. Looking to Maggie, I could see her tap her watch as she and Glen shakily made their way to the door.

"Times...almost...up." I began laughing again, as the Autobots repeated the earlier crotch-grab-and-thrust, and collapsed to my knees, crawling towards the door as the music continued.

"Every man for themselves!" Will called, hauling his wife up and taking off our of the room.

Once the song was over, the chips would stop working, so we had to move fast, if we wanted to live another day. Huh, death by laughter, though... What a way to go.

I made it to the door as the lyrics resumed and turned to watch as the Autobots continued dancing.

_**That this is thriller, thriller night.**_

_**'Cause I can thrill you more than any ghost would ever dare try.**_

_**Thriller, thriller night.**_

_**So let me hold you tight, and share a...**_

_**Killer, diller, chiller, thriller here tonight.**_

Making a last minute decision, I grabbed one of the cameras before I took off out of the room, laughing hysterically as Sam and I b-lined it towards the cafeteria, which we'd earlier Autobot-proofed as a headquarters. Behind me, the chorus repeated, and I stumbled as I laughed, giggling as Sam had to almost haul me towards the cafeteria.

Once we made it inside, we all laughed for a good while, before we finally settled down. Of course the fact that we left Epps like a smiling corpse in the room full of dancing Autobots only set us off again.... As well as the chorus of yells I think Canada could hear...

"You were right, 'Keala." Sam kissed me, and broke into laughter again. "This has gotta be the best prank ever."

"Did you _see_ Chromia fall over when Ironhide grabbed his crotch??" Maggie doubled over in laughter, slipping off her chair with a squeak and laying laughing on the floor.

"I was too busy staring at Epps." Will laughed again, even as his giggling wife unhooked the harness and held on to Annabelle, who was laughing and cooing herself, though she had absolutely no idea what was going on.

"What a way to go!" I called, falling against the wall with my laughter, and sending the whole room into hysterics again.

Needless to say, we're all going to be watching our backs and sleeping with both eyes open for a _loooooooooooonnnnng _while.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Hope you like it.

R+R please.

Thank you.

Tenshi


	51. Megatron, I will Survive

**Disclaimer** : I don't own it.

**Note** : Requested by **Darklight8121**. This is the last update for the week, I think. I'm heading out soon to work on possibly selling some sheep. Thanks everyone, and I'm glad you like this story. :D

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**(Normal POV)**

Starscream glowered at the recharging Megatron, only hesitating because the last time he tried anything like this, it took him six earth months to rebuild his aft and wings, and a little longer to get out from under his fearless leader's constant watch. Only just yesterday had he come across the bumbling Autobot engineer and scientist, Wheeljack, whose most recent inventions all seemed to work...but with disastrous side effects.

This time it had been an override chip, that only worked temporarily, and had been used in a few different pranks.

Luckily, with the help of an unsuspecting Barricade, who'd been out looking for a fight and found one in the Auto-scum scientist, Starscream had managed to grab the chip without his knowing. Now... Now for the _hard_ part.

_Old fool snores like a human's chainsaw._ He winced as he crept forward, watching as Megatron lay motionless in his throne, leaning to one side. His normally bright crimson optics were offline, but it did little to dispel the overwhelming fear his mere presence seemed to possess. _Just stay in recharge._ Megatron shifted, a loud short sounding, and Starscream froze in mid-step, eyeing both his leader and the nearby door, even as his thrusters tensed, ready to flip on and help him speed out of there in a moment's notice.

When he settled back down, the Decepticon second in command rolled his optics and began creeping forward again. He'd spent the better part of that day reprogramming the chip, and now that it was ready, all he had to do was turn it on, and then make sure he had the trigger song.

Slipping the chip into place, Starscream turned and practically ran on air to get out of that room, before working on the second phase of his plan. He'd managed to hack into some of the Autobots incripted files. Unfortunately, he didn't find anything useful, but he _had_ found Optimus'.....for the lack of a better word, internal 'mail' system. He could send a private message to the Autobot, and he smirked as he left the base.

**(Elsewhere)**

Optimus was driving down the busy streets of Tranquility, enjoying the peace as he watched a human family cross the street, the elder femme laughing with an elder man, as they led two younglings down the sidewalk on the other side.

He sighed a little, remembering when his own femme creator used to lead him and Megatron around like that, laughing about one inconsequential thing or another. It was times like these he really tried to understand what could have possibly made his brother turn Decepticon. What had infected his CPU and made him decide power was more important than anything?

Mentally shaking his head, he cleared his processors of those thoughts and drove on, pausing at a red light, before making a left hand turn and slowly driving through the school district. He slowed and pulled up on the curb, watching past the fence and large yard to where many highschool students milled around. _Sam attended this school only a year ago._ And had very nearly failed his final year after missing time because of the war, and then missing more because of needing to heal and needing to deal with Secretary Keller.

He watched as a single, solitary Camaro drove through the lot, and smiled a little, knowing Bumblebee was also remembering the fonder times.

Pulling back into the street, Optimus drove around some more, feeling somewhat bored with the way the Decepticons had been lying low lately. Then, out of nowhere, an internal ping on his communications informed him he had 'mail'. He drove onto a side street, pulling into a dead end alley as he opened the message. Then he very nearly called the Autobots to him when he realized it was from Starscream.

_**'Hey Autoscum, I thought you might wanna know... Megatron's gonna be at the following location, all alone, at the following time.'**_ A set of coordinates, as well as a time stamp were displayed, and a rather hysterical cackle caught his attention. _**'Enjoy the show! Oh, and if you say one word about this being me, I will personally-'**_ Rolling his optics, Optimus deleted the message, before taking into the consideration the coordinates he got.

_Alone... Why would Starscream want me to go find Megatron alone?_ It reeked of a trap, and just to be safe, he forwarded the coordinates and time stamp to a few of his less trigger happy allies, with instructions to meet him there. Then he waited. It would only be a short while from now, and one way or another, he'd be facing against Megatron again.

Maybe... Just maybe he finally wanted to end this.

**(Later)**

As Optimus entered the building, he frowned thoughtfully. It was a rather large, empty warehouse, that was more than big enough to house even Megatron standing straight. Speaking of which... He saw Megatron leaning against the far wall, his optics offlined, and froze... _What's this...? _His own optics narrowed as he brought out his sword and crept a step forward. The clicking of something under his foot had him pausing and scanning. _Not a mine?_ He frowned as he stepped back, looking down.

It appeared to be a rather bent looking switch. Alarmed, he called the others towards him, freezing a moment until he heard them entering the building behind him, and then lifting his hand when no one began shooting at them.

And then...the music started.

Startled, Optimus looked up and raised his sword defensively as Megatron's optics snapped on. The Decepticon commander took a single step foward, bringing his hands up to his face as the music continued.

Then, Optimus _swore_ he lost his mind.

Megatron lowered his hands, looked up with a blank stare, opened his mouth, and began to sing.

_**At first I was afraid,**_

_**I was petrified.**_

A loud thud behind him alerted to Prowl's offlining. Then a second and third joined, and he looked over his shoulder to find Ironhide and Chromia lying prone on the floor. Jazz was snickering away at the feminine voice that issued forth from the otherwise intimidating Decepticon leader, and the other Autobots just looked like they'd died and ...well, didn't know what to make of it...

_**Thinking I could never live **_

_**without you by my side.**_

_**But then I spent so many nights**_

_**Thinkin' how you did me wrong**_

Megatron took another step foward, snapping his fingers as he sang and gesturing wildly with his hands.

_**And I grew strong.**_

_**I learned how to get along.**_

_**And so you're back!**_

_**From outter space!**_

Megatron began stalking forward, across the massive warehouse as he sang. The sound of muffled laughter gave way to booming roars of hilarity as he paused and stuck a hip out before resuming his walk.

_**I just walked in to find you here,**_

_**With that sad look upon your face, oh.**_

His hips swung almost scarily with every step, and some of the more serious Autobots tensed as their enemy drew closer. Smelling smoke, Optimus once again looked back, and watched as Ratchet's head steamed very much like Prowl's. And speaking of Prowl, the poor second in command's optics lit up, he saw Megatron, squeaked and glitched again.

Unable to help it, Optimus began laughing with the others. Glancing up briefly, he took in what appeared to be a gigantic metal ball, like a wrecking ball, only much, _much_ bigger.

_**Weren't you the one who tried to hurt me with goodbyes?**_

_**You think I'd crumble**_

_**You think I'd lay down and die.**_

Stopping in the center of the room, Megatron tapped his foot as he continued making appropriate gestures with his hands, to go along with the song. By now, most of the Autobot troops were on their afts, doubled over in laughter, or offline from the sheer absurd shock of seeing _MEGATRON_ dancing and singing.

_**Oh no, not I! **_

_**I will survive!**_

Suddenly, with a loud crash, the ball dropped from above and hit Megatron, knocking him to the ground and pinning him there with it's weight on his back. As he lay there, the music screetched and then stopped.

So did the laughter.

For the longest moment, everyone just stared at the scene before them, before Optimus cycled his vents and put his sword away again. "Survive?" He took in the metallic ball, scanning it and raising an optic ridge at the sheer weight of the thing. _Hm, I think not, dear brother._

With a groan, Megatron shook his head. He seemed to come back to himself, and looked up. Seeing that he was surrounded with grinning Autobots, he glared. "What the frag are you smiling at?" He tried to move, only to find himself pinned. "What the...? STARSCREAM!!"

Bumblebee snickered a little, before an instant reply of what just happened formed with the help of his holographic projectors. This sent most of the sobered Autobots back into hysteria, and Megatron was repeatedly banging his head on the ground, growling curses in Cybertronian, before it even was half over.

"You sure Starscream isn't related to the twins?" Jazz murmured quietly to Optimus.

Sharing a disturbed yet amused look with his first lieutenant, Optimus and Jazz both shuddered in horror, before shaking their heads to dispel that train of thought.

Well, at the very least, he _did_ have some rather amusing prank ideas.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Hope you like it.

R+R please.

Thank you.

Tenshi


	52. Ironhide, Slither

**Disclaimer** : I don't own it.

**Note** : Suggested idea from **TheFallenWriter**. Heh, and I winged this one as I went so... Hope it went alright.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**(Sarah's POV)**

I sat next to will, shuddering at the sight before me and mentally thanking God I thought to leave Annabelle in the care of Maggie. When the poor girl heard about what was going on tonight, and the special feature, she shuddered, paled, and thoroughly insisted she'd take Annie for me.

Right about now, I was questioning my own wisdom in coming to see this myself.

"Relax, you know it's not real." Will wrapped an arm around my waist and pulled me to him, laughing a little.

Slapping the back of my hand against his chest a little, I glared up mockingly. "Two and a half years ago, I 'knew' aliens weren't real, too." I then pointedly looked around us, smirking a little at the slight chuckle Optimus let out. "And look how wrong we _all_ were."

Sam leaned against Will's other side with a raised eyebrow. "Will, didn't they tell you? Always expect the unexpected." He smirked a little.

Shooting Sam a look, Will glanced past me a little. I guess he was checking out Ironhide. I watched as my husband looked over quickly, before turning back to what was going on in front of us. Then he abruptly looked over again, a startled expression on his face.

Following his gaze, I saw Ironhide, who was watching with us. I was about to turn back, certain I'd missed whatever had caught Will's attention, when I realized I was staring right _at_ what had caught his attention.

Ironhide's eyes were wide, and he shuddered occasionally. Looking up front, I watched as several rather large, rather thich slug-like creatures slithered about, and turned to find Ironhide looking down over his body, though trying to be subtle about it.

_What's he...?_ Feeling a minor vibration, I startled a moment, slapping Will lightly when he laughed again, and kissing his cheek before pulling out my cell phone. Seeing Mikeala's name, I looked over and blinked at the almost eerie look on her face, before she turned back to the happenings before us. Flipping open my phone, I blinked again, and then had to cover my mouth to muffle my laughter.

_**Probably reminds him of a glitch mouse. Check out Sunny.**_

I'd heard _all_ about the glitch mouse fiasco, with Ratchet, the harmless little toy he'd made, and Ironhide's rather startling reaction to it. I also, along with everyone else, spent days teasing him about it. I'd even gone as far as to get a few rats, which I was currently taking care of in my quarters. Five, in total.

Looking over towards Sunstreaker, I watched as the yellow Corvette shuddered as well, sneering at the image of the 'slug's and grimacing as one of them jumped into the mouth of one of the characters, slithering it's way down their throat.

"Fragging glitch-"

"Slag!" Ironhide's arm shot across my vision, and there was a resounding bang as he clipped Sunny on the back of the head. "Don't even go there!"

"Hey! My paint!" Sunstreaker raised a hand up and rubbed at the back of his head. "You better not have dented me, slagger!" He then turned and smirked. "Besides, by the looks of it, you _already_ went there."

A low snarl was his answer, before another clang sounded, and both Ironhide _and_ Sunstreaker grimaced. I watched as Optimus glared down at them and giggled when he smirked at me before settling back to watch the rest of the movie.

"Slagging glitch worms."

"Sunstreaker!" Ironhide hissed lowly, unable to fight back a shudder.

I raised an eyebrow. "Glitch worms?" Ironhide shuddered again, and I couldn't help but giggle. Don't get me wrong, I had a feeling this was going to be good, but watching him shudder at just the _mention_... "Hey wait, are those like glitch mice?"

"Worse."

"Sideswipe!"

Sides snickered and turned my way. "Imagine this... Glitch mice can be easily removed from a mech's armor once deactivated. A glitch _worm_ on the other hand... It wraps around the wiring, constricting as it's power flow things and eventually stops. It might not offline a mech, but it sure as pit hurts!"

"Not to mention the way they _wriggle_ and _slither_ around." Jolt added, shuddering himself. "I've seen it."

Raising my other eyebrow, I glanced over to see Ironhide's eyes darting around, as if he were nervous, and smirked. "Really? Did they look like that?" I pointed to the screen.

"Not exactly." Ratchet now turned. "They are much paler in coloring, and although their bodies are covered with a thin layer of artificial skin, their internal makings are completely mechanic." He frowned. "It's difficult to explain in terms you'd understand."

"And we _are_ trying to watch the movie." Mikeala popped in. "Why not make one for her to see, later?"

"NO!"

Everyone jumped and turned to find Ironhide glaring at them all, his cooling fans whirring loudly as he glared down at Mikeala before shooting Ratchet a warning look. The rest of the movie passed by uneventfully, but once it was over, I was a bit startled when Mikeala pulled me aside with an evil gleam to her eyes.

**(Mikeala's Quarters)**

"So... Ratchet told me about glitch worms before. I can't believe I almost forgot about it, too!" She was grinning away as she dug through boxes. "He told me about how Ironhide hated them even more than glitch mice because they could cause a lot more damage and were harder to remove." She threw aside a large white towel and kept digging. "He actually made a few, to show how they interacted and worked together."

I frowned behind her. "After the glitch mouse incident?"

Turning, she winked and smirked. "Ratchet had a ball with that! He _still_ laughs about it."

"So he actually made glitch worms for you?" I got up from her bed, walked over and watched as she cheered and pulled something from the box. Seeing what it was, I couldn't help the tiny shriek that escaped me as I pulled back. "Are you fragging serious?!"

The worm was scarily alike the worms in Slither, in the length and width. The 'skin' was pale white, and when I actually touched it... What the hell was I thinking to _touch_ it?? Anyways... It was strangely cold. The skin was slightly wrinkled, and when Mikeala pulled out a remote and hit a button, it began to glow softly.

What made me jump back with another shriek was the squeaks it let out as it wriggled in her grasp.

"Oh, _ew_!" I shouted, standing well away from the thing as she put it down and began digging more out. Suddenly, I got an idea, and felt a grin form. "You realize Ironhide's gonna be heading back to his quarters soon... Alone... In the middle of the night...right?" My grin broadened.

Her own formed, matching mine. "My point exactly. I've already filled the others in." She pointed behind her, towards the door. "The hall will be abandoned and dark. Sides made sure the lights wouldn't work, and Will's spoken to the other soldiers, keeping them away."

Reaching out, I hesitantly took the squirming...._thing_, pausing until it's movements didn't bother me so much anymore. Once I was used to it, I picked up two more and then headed out. I crossed the base carefully, ignoring the disturbed looks on the faces of the soldiers as Mikeala and I went past. Once we were set, I began placing the worms down and giggled darkly as the lights suddenly went out.

"Show time." Mikeala murmured quietly.

**(Normal POV)**

Ironhide frowned as he sent out a signal to turn the lights on. There was no response, and the hall remained dark. While he could still see clear enough, after that last particular movie... No.

Shaking his head, he glared at the dark hall and began walking down it slowly. _I'm not afraid. It was just a movie._ He insisted silently, stubbornly refusing to admit his optics were scanning every possible corner of the hall. The admittedly _dark_ hall. _Ok, so glitch worms are real, but... They died out with Cybertron, like the glitch mice. _Still, he tried to get the lights to work, with no luck.

_Fragging primitive wiring. Probably blew a... A fuse!_ His optics narrowed as he took a few more steps into the hall. _Where is everyone, they couldn't have gone into recharge so early..._ Especially not after the last movie. That just didn't make sense. Especially not with how violently Sam was trembling.

Shaking his head again, he went to take another step when a sound caught his audio processors, causing him to hault.

**Squeak.**

Looking around, both of Ironhide's cannons came online as he took a step back, his optics scanning everything he possibly could. He took another slow step forward, his cannons whirring slightly.

**Squeak.**

Pausing again, he tried to place an image with the sound. With a slight jump, he felt his optics widen. _No way... Frag! It's just a movie._ He shook his head.

**Squeak. Squeaaaak.**

His optics widened and his spark clenched in dread. Slowly looking behind him, he squeaked, yes _squeaked_ and jumped about a foot in the air, cursing violently as his head hit the ceiling and knocked some of the plaster down.

There had been a flash of light, but it disappeared again. Growling lowly, he began to stalk down the hall, certain it was one of the humans with a flashlight, playing a horrible joke on him. He allowed the whir of his cannons to do the talking as he stalked forward, only to freeze solid.

**Squuueeakkk.**

The flash repeated, only to disappear as another light flashed behind it. Upon closer inspection, it appeared the flashing light were in the forms of...

Ironhide felt something slither across his foot and look down.

**(Cafeteria)**

Mikeala ran across the room, partaking of a rather impressing spit take as a rather high pitched, _feminine_ scream echoed down the hall. Several cannon blasts, screams and cries suddenly sounded, causing the other soldiers to either start laughing, or take off in concern.

Will looked over, the question clear on his face, and Sarah nodded.

"Ironhide."

Another shriek sounded, followed by his bellowing.

"GET IT OFF! GET IT OFF! GET IT THE FRAG OFF ME!!!"

Exchanging a look, Sarah and Mikeala began laughing, even as Epps jumped out of his seat startled with the laughter, Sam tripped over his feet in startlement of the bellow, and Will spat his drink all over the table.

Within seconds, Ratchet had ducked into the room and was shooting Mikeala a somewhat dry look.

"You just _had_ to do it, didn't you?"

She smiled sweetly before putting her drink down and taking off down the hall, the laughter of the rest of the room following her. Following her example, Sarah put her own drink down and pretended to think as she began side stepping towards the door.

"WHEN I FIND OUT-AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!! GET IT OFF!"

"You know, I think I should check on Annabelle. See ya!" Turning, she dashed off, leaving Ratchet to deal with Ironhide, who came barreling down the hall.

"GET IT OFF! AAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" He was jumping around and spinning, slapping at himself insanely. "RATCHET! GET THESE PIT-SPAWNED THINGS OFF ME!"

It seemed humans and horror movies were a bad combination, if the image of worms slithering in and out of Ironhide's wires was any indication. Shuddering a little, Ratchet barely smothered a snicker, knowing the worms were harmless, and watching Ironhide shriek as one appeared out of his armor on his shoulder, only to disappear again.

Yeah, humans and horror movies were definitely a bad combination.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Hope you like it.

R+R please.

Thank you.

Tenshi


	53. Ratchet, Bah Humbug

**Disclaimer** : I don't own it.

**Note** : Ever heard of the saying 'Saving the best for last'? Well, that's what I'm doing. LOL. That's the only order to how I'm posting the chapters. The ones I think are funnier are still to come. LOL Oh, boy... All I have left done, at the moment, are Family Guy inspired chapters. Hm... I'm considering making them into their own fiction. Agree? Disagree?

**hm12345** - Thank you. LOL That was a cute chapter. I'm glad you like it :)

**Gillian** - Thank you. LOL. I know, the poor bots. What will I put them through next? *Checks upcoming chapters and dies of laughter* Oh Primus!

**Starfire201** - I don't MIND the song. I don't like it, but I don't dislike it. I can go either way. I LIKED how I was able to use it. LMAO! Oh trust me, Starscream is GOING to pay! *Snickers evilly*

LOL Yes, I think the Thriller chapter might _just_ be enough to make the Autobots rethink their 'we don't harm humans' policy. LOL The song, again, isn't bad, but oh! The poor Autobots! LMAO

**Anna Chan** - LOL I take it you liked it then? I'm glad. LOL

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**(Normal POV)**

Bumblebee straightened up, and groaned a little with a wince as he rubbed at his lower back. The last several hours had been spent helping the other bots move things around, and helping the humans to relocate their wrapped gifts under a large tree in the common room. Not to mention, he and Jolt were the ones to go out and _get _the tree, let alone set it up.

He rubbed again at a small twinge in his back, before looking around and nodding in satisfaction.

"Looks good, big guy." Sam smirked up at Bee and gave him a thumbs up from Bee's hand where he sat. "And we're _finally_ done decorating the tree! Now..." His smirk grew. "To go find my girl." He patted Bee's thumb, and the little scout hummed quietly with a nod, before bending down to put Sam down, and hissing a little in pain.

"Bumblebee!"

The scout jerked up, just barely managing to keep from crying out in pain as it pulled at his back, and Sam had to cling to his thumb to keep from being sent flying. Spinning around, Bee found Ratchet almost glaring at him.

"What the pit happened to you?" His eyes flashed and his scowl deepened. "Overdoing it again, I see." Shaking his head, he grabbed Bee by the free arm and began dragging him out of the room. "Well, to the med bay with you!"

_**'But, moooommmm!'**_ The whiny clip earned him a whack on the head.

"Be nice, it's Christmas." Sam scolded, before ducking down when Ratchet shot him a look that told volumes about how much the medibot wished he could throw wrenches at humans. "Never mind."

"I'll meet you there, and don't even _think_ of taking off! I need to drop off a data pad to Prime, and if you make me come and get you, so help me Primus..." Trailing off to a hushed mutter, Ratchet turned and began stalking down another hall.

"Wow, talk about a Grinch!" Sam groaned, causing Bee to give him a questioning look while walking down the hall. "Oh, uh, sorry." He scratched his head and thought a moment. "Google Christmas Grinch." He paused as Bee stopped in the middle of the hall, his eyes dim, then smirked when Bee came back with a choked snicker. "See? All he's lacking is the green body."

_And Christmas hat...and poetic way of speaking... He's got the persona down pat._ Sam bit his lip to keep from laughing.

Bee continued to snicker and chuckle all the way to the med bay. Plopping Sam on the medical berth, Bee wandered around aimlessly, peeking into a storage room before coming back and hopping onto the berth next to his charge. He sighed a little and reclined back as he relaxed, and Sam scrambled onto his leg.

"Why didn't you say your back was bothering you?"

Bumblebee shrugged a little and tilted his head at Sam.

"Huh." Shaking his head, Sam pointed his finger at Bee, before shaking it. "You're gonna take it easy for the next two days, you hear?" He paused. "Wow, I've been spending far too much time around the Hatchet."

A snicker reached his ears and he looked up as Bee's head shot up, and he just barely ducked an incoming wrench, that hit something behind him with a clatter.

"Hey! Watch it!" Sam cried, ducking down. "Geez, what's with you?" He almost glared at Ratchet, who stood, glaring right back, in the doorway.

"You. Out." He carefully picked up Sam and put him on the ground, before shooing the human out. Then he turned to Bumblebee and pointed at him. "You. Down. Now." He began scanning the scout, as he did as ordered.

**(Later)**

As Sam walked down the hall towards the med bay, he pursed his lips a little in worry. It had been several hours ago he'd left Bee to the mercy of a grumpier-than-usual Ratchet, and he felt horrible for it. Part of him wondered if Bee was even in one piece anymore, and he hesitated next to the med bay doors.

Then the doors flew open, and he jumped back with a squak of surprise as he watched Bumblebee ducking and running out, an open can of paint in his hands.

He ducked just in time, as a rather large, red and white item came flying out the door and clanged off the opposite wall loudly, drawing the attention of Optimus Prime and Ironhide, who were just down the other side of the hall.

"Bee?" Sam kept low, looking around warily and feel his eyes widen in confused horror as he spotted the thing Bumblebee had ducked. _A wrench? A red and white _striped_ wrench??_ He raised an eyebrow. "Oh God, I have a feeling I don't wanna know."

Bumblebee jumped to the side of the door and chuckled as he put down the can of paint. The can itself was bare, so Sam couldn't tell what kind of paint was in it, but then Bee lifted him in his hands, and together they peeked around the door.

"Oh my God, Bee!" Sam's jaw dropped, and he yelped as Bee ducked back around the door as another red and white striped wrench came flying out of the room.

_Wait...._ He paused and frowned a moment as he thought about that. _Since when are wrenches...?_

"The Christmas Grinch, huh? I'll give you a Grinch! Bah!" Another wrench came flying out, this one catching Optimus between the eyes as he dared peek around the edge. "Sorry Prime."

Ironhide snickered, and then ducked back as Optimus gave him a warning glare. It didn't help he had a nice little dent in his forehead now.

_Poor Prime._ Sam tried not to laugh at the clueless look on the Autobot leader's face.

Rubbing at his forehead, Optimus frowned at Bumblebee, who was laughing silently at everything. Even Sam couldn't help the chuckles that escaped him by this point. "Grinch?" He frowned. "Why is Ratchet green?"

Sam blinked. _Green...?_ He had a bad feeling.

Ironhide looked around the corner, and ducked back almost warily. "And wearing one of those ridiculous 'Santa' hats?"

The bad feeling grew at that. Sam looked warily up at his guardian, who was trying his hardest to look innocent, but failing miserably.

Suddenly, smirking, Bee pointed down to Sam, who squeaked embarrassingly, before holding up his hands in defence. "Hey! I only mentioned Ratchet reminded me of the Grinch! I didn't tell be to _paint_ him up like one!" He ended up laughing again.

"If I see you in my med bay again..." Ratchet stomped out of the room, glaring at Bumblebee and weiling yet another red and white striped wrench. "I swear I'll..."

He didn't even get a chance to finish before Bee was hurrying down theh all with his human charge, shaking from laughter, looking back, and squeaking as he ducked under another candy wrench, laughing all the harder. sam was clinging to Bee's thumb for dear life, the image of the green medibot with the red Santa hat and the candy cane wrenches etched into his mind.

Behind them, Ratchet shot a warning look at the two other mechs, who looked like they were trying not to laugh. Then he stomped back into his med bay. "Bah! Humbug!"

Retreating carefully down the hall, ironhide turned to Optimus with a frown. "Isn't that Scrooge?" He then yelped and stumbled forward, as a resounding clang filled the hall. Turning, he rubbed at his head and caught sight of the glare of the green medibot.

Pulling his weapons specialist by the arm, Optimus ducked around the corner, and then doubled over laughing. "Grinch, Scrooge. They are both the same thing, I believe." He snickered again, before walking off, leaving Ironhide to rub at his head and follow along with a grumble.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Hope you like it.

R+R please.

Thank you.

Tenshi


	54. Wheeljack, Blending Lightsticks

**Disclaimer** : I don't own it.

**Note** : Requested by **laureas**.

Ok, just so you know, I have NO idea what the alternate forms officially are for certain Autobots (I.E: Wheeljack, Mirage, Blur, etc etc) so I Wiki'd them. If they weren't mentioned, I just goggled similar cars to their style and picked one.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**(Normal POV)**

As Wheeljack was introduced to the base, he was given off a list of things he was and was not to do. Considering just _how_ new he was to the planet in general, that list was more extensive than usual.

He sighed as he wandered around the empty storage shed he'd taken as his lab. There wasn't really much there, and considering earth hadn't been _planning_ on having Cybertronians around, there was little to nothing in the way of Autobot-sized equipment. His first few months there would be rebuilding and calibrating tools to his own settings, so he at least had _something_ to do.

That, and... He spent his free time searching the internet for practically any and all information he could download.

Though primitive in comparison, Wheeljack found earth science quite fascinating and spent days talking about or processing different experiments they've done. He even attempted to recreate a few with Autobot enhancements.

Of course, very few actually worked. Another reason his first little while on the planet was spent in parole. What good would it do anyone if Wheeljack got right into one of his larger experiments, only to blow the pit out of the planet?

"This is slagging boring." The scientist grumped as he slouched against the wall, looking around his decidedly boring labratory. _All my experiments have been all but useless, or backfired._

Standing up straight, he shook his head and exited the room, walking down the hall while simultaneously searching the web for more information.

_What I need is a new idea._

He paused at the rec room and looked around. Many of the Autobots were simply milling around chatting idly, and the humans were nowhere to be seen. Taking that as his cue, he entered the room, grabbed a cube of energon and left again, waving to a few mechs as he went.

_Nothing big, though. What _are_ the humans up to, again?_

Sipping his energon, he made his way outside and paused. It was a dark, stormy day out. While it wasn't raining, the clouds filling the sky were almost black, and the winds horrendous. A single figure stood in the center of the runway, waving two bright orange cones around.

Tilting his head, his optics narrowed in one the figures of marines in a hangar far across the runway, holding up glowing sticks as they searched through an almost pitch black storage shed for something.

_Light sticks?_

Slowly working on his energon, he watched them carefully, spotting as the light in one died out, and the soldier pocketed it, before grabbing another. He _bent_ it in an odd fashion, and it began to glow.

_Fascinating, but if we were to attempt to use one of those, we'd break it._

His processor began to whirl with questions and possibilities. He ran over the idea of building larger ones for the Autobots, in case their internal lighting systems went offline for any reason, but quickly dismissed that idea, realizing that it would take one hand to hold it, and it was best that both of their hands remain free on missions. He thought about glow sticks they could _wear_, much like the humans appeared to have.

Only if one of the Autobots needed to transform, it would get caught up in their machinery. It would do them no damage, but would destroy the light itself, rendering it all but useless and a waste of time to attempt.

So, logically, he began to think up ways to perhaps transfer the glow out of the sticks and into the Autobots. Their hands would be free, and the light would not be destroyed by the reconfiguration of their bodies during their transformations.

As he finished his energon and returned to his lab, Wheeljack began to look around.

_I'm going to need a few things._

**(Tranquility, an hour later)**

Mikeala sat in the front seat of the white Ford Mustang as it drove down the street. "So... What did you need me for, again?"

"I require your assistance in purchasing 'light sticks' and a 'blender' for my experiment."

_Light sticks? A blender?_ A single black eyebrow slowly rose as Mikeala nodded absently and exited the car, heading into the nearby shopping mall and without even taking a slight detour, making her way towards the items she needed. She used the government credit card she was given, and paid for it all, before exiting and once again climbing into the Mustang.

Wordlessly, she dropped the bag on the passenger seat. "Do I wanna know?"

"Hm?"

"Why did you need light sticks, I bought extra by the way just in case, and a blender?"

"Well, I was watching several soldiers use them earlier to light there way." Wheeljack went quiet a moment as he turned a corner, before continuing on. "And it intrigued me. I thought about how an Autobot might benefit from this use, if our internal lighting systems ever malfunction, however hand held glow sticks would only encumber us, and ones made to fit around body parts would only be destroyed in a transformation."

He exited city limits and broke out into his true speed, making his way towards the base. "I thought it might be more prudent to attempt a way to consume or wear it. To do so, I need to break open the plastic containers and get to the chemical compound within them."

Nodding her head a little, Mikeala gave him that much. "I'd be careful eating or drinking it, or whatever. You don't know what that stuff's gonna do to you. It could be poisonous."

"I have already searched your worldwide web for the chemical compound, and found it to be relatively harmless to our species."

"Oh. Right." She nodded again, a little more cluelessly this time. _He thinks of everything, I guess._ "Carry on then, I guess."

Once they'd returned to the base, Mikeala helped Wheeljack get his equipment to the lab, before leaving him to his work. While the blender was relatively small, Wheeljack was confident that he could solidify his holographic form to use it. Meanwhile, she went off in search of Sam, not even aware that she was being watched by two sets of optics.

**(Later)**

As Wheeljack exited his office, two tall, slender figures slipped in. They began searching around before they noticed a glowing green liquid in a container, just left sitting out. Exchanging a look, their optics narrowed.

"He's been holding out on us!"

"No kidding!"

They stalked forward and the silver mech grabbed the large cube of glowing liquid, before looking over at his twin with a smirk. "If we leave this out, it's obviously going to go bad. We can't have that now, can we?" Tilting his head back, the silver mech downed half the contents, quickly handing the container over before pausing. He swished the liquid around in his mouth, before frowning as he swallowed it. "Huh, that tasted kinda funny."

"You're telling me." His yellow twin made a face before plopping the now empty container on the table once again. "Ugh!" Suddenly his optics widened. "Slag! He's coming back!"

Beating a hasty retreat, the figures quickly dismissed the strange liquid they'd drank as they made their way towards the main hangar. They blended in with the others quickly, and began relaxing as time passed.

It was about ten minutes later that Wheeljack came stalking quickly into the room, not looking happy but also not looking all that worried. "Alright, who took it?"

Everyone paused and stared at him in confusion.

"The lighting compound I was working on. It was a glowing greenish liquid sitting in a plastic container on my work bench." He raised an optic ridge as several Autobots exchanged a look. Seeing the slightly anxious looks the Corvette twins shot each other, he felt his lips twitch and was thankful for his mask. "Fine. If no one wishes to own up to it, I have another way to find out."

A second later, and the lights switched off, causing people to gasp and give indignant cries, before all went eerily silent.

The twins looked around, frowning when they realized that one by one, all bots and humans alike were turning in their direction, optics or eyes wide. They both faced Wheeljack, neither one wanting to look at the other and risk giving anything away.

"What?" Sunny hissed, glaring at Bee who had the audacity to poke his arm. "Stop it, you'll scratch my paint!"

"Hy, check out the giant fireflies?" Mikeala snickered from the side of the room.

Sam nodded. "Huh, glowbots."

Several humans and Autobots all laughed at the comment, while clearly neither Autobot took notice of it. Sideswipe was too busy staring at all the bots staring at him and his twin, and Sunny was too busy looking like he wanted to blast Bee a new aft-hole.

Looking over blandly, Sides quickly did a double take. "Uh, bro?"

"Not now." Sunstreaker waved at him absently, smacking Bee's hand away and glaring as the young scout seemed content to keep poking him. "If you don't stop it, so help me Primus-"

"Sunny!"

"Don't call me that!" Turning, Sunstreaker's optics went wide. "Um, Sideswipe? Why are you glowing?"

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Hope you like it.

R+R please.

Thank you.

Tenshi


	55. Optimus, Oompah Loompah

**Disclaimer** : I don't own it.

**Note** : Collaboration with **Gixxer Pilot** .

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**(Normal POV)**

Optimus Prime was a lot of things. Benevolant, kind, compassionate, supremely forgiving, insightful, strong, funny..._patient_. But, like everyone else, he had his limits.

The war had started out simple enough. One mech, looking for a good time, pranked another. It was amusing, a good distraction from the real war at hand, and best of all no one got hurt. Unfortunately, instead of remaining an isolated incident, like he'd partially hoped it would, it spread quickly.

_Somehow, I knew it would._

Sighing heavily, Optimus slowly made his way out of the hangar. Seeing what stood before him, he barely resisted the urge to roll his optics.

Things had certainly escalated. More so than he'd expected. What started out as a surprisingly routine prank pulled by the infamous 'Vette twins, ended up including more or less all of his troops, including the much smaller, much more _fragile_ humans under his command.

_Then again, they gave as good as they got._

He mentally recalled the pranks, some of them placed right up in the front as the funnier ones. The car wash and fake pregnancies were admittedly very original and clever, and was definitely his favorite prank by far, followed closely by the glitch mice and worms, not to mention messing with Jazz's processors to get him to sing...and the fake wedding... His battle mask engaged without him even meaning to, as a smirk threatened to destroy the grim expression he was struggling to give.

_And in some cases, gave _more_ than they got. Especially the earth femmes._

Still... This was a military base. Some shenanigans would be expected, of course, but this had gone on far too long, taking up precious time the troops could be training, or the civilians studying, in the case of Mikeala Banes and Samuel Witwicky.

He couldn't begrudge them their fun. What kind of leader would he be?

Pit! He even pulled some pranks of his own!

Shaking his head a little, he paused a moment, staring at them as he folded his arms over his chest. He was standing directly across from them, trying to mentally gather a stern enough speech to do _some_ good, but he could clearly tell the entire group was distracted.

Sam and Mikeala were stuck in an animated chat about his wanting her to move in with him, and her arguing that she still had her father to look after. Sarah Lennox was cooing at Annabelle, who was comfortably held within the strong arms of her father, William Lennox.

Epps was facing a nameless soldier who'd really had no reason to be there but for support for his friend.

Ironhide, Prowl, Wheeljack and Ratchet were the only ones out of the entire group standing at attention.

With a subtle clearing of his throat, he watched as more Autobots snapped to attention, and even smirked behind his mask when Bumblebee very slightly nudged Sam and Mikeala with his foot, to get their attention. Ironhide did the same for Sarah, and then apologized when she fell onto said foot with a yelp.

"Nice going, bolts-for-brains." Sunny murmured sarcastically, getting a growl in place.

"Enough!" Optimus' voice raised a little, catching _everyone's_ attention. Once he'd gathered control of his emotions, he retracted his battle mask and stared them down. "As I'm sure everyone has become aware of, the prank battle has gotten far out of hand." A few snickers and smirks answered him, and he eyed the jokers with narrowed optics. "This is not a good thing. This _is_ a military base, after all. All this time you've spent pranking each other, and I bet you've forgotten your training, or your studies."

Sam blushed and looked down, linking his arms behind his back and scuffing one foot on the ground, looking for all the world like a kicked puppy. Mikeala just giggled at him and kissed his cheeks.

"No one has been hurt, _yet_, but it is only a matter of time. We are simply quite lucky the Decepticons haven't attacked."

"Yeah, 'cause they're too busy playing their own pranks." Epps snickered, sending another round of muffled laughter through the group.

Optimus shuddered violently, setting off the real laughter, when he recalled Megatron singing, and the reports of Decepticons with holoform mods. Shaking his head again, he managed _somehow_ to usher up a glare, and directed it where it needed directly.

Namely, both sets of mech twins.

After all, _they_ were the worst for the pranks, even if Skids and Muflap hadn't performed too many themselves. The bad thing about _that_ is that they were watching and learning what the other twins were doing.

_Autobot see, Autobot do, Autobot get blasted into space dust._

"Since you've all... Wait, who _are _you?" He looked down at the man next to Epps.

The man blinked, before pointing a single finger at his own chest and clearing his throat. Standing at attention, he looked straight ahead and saluted. "Cadet Jeremy Wilson, sir!"

"And you're here...why?" He raised an optic ridge.

"Moral support, sir!"

_I see..._ Letting his raised optic ridge drop, he nodded a little. "Fine. Since you're all here, and you've all performed at least _one_ prank, you're all going to have to deal with the consequences." He thought for a moment, before smirking.

He'd just gotten the perfect idea.

**(Later, with the pranksters)**

"A military cheer? What the pit is that?" Mikeala raised an eyebrow, not even flinching when she used an Autobot curse.

"It's supposed to boost morale." Will groaned. "But to do squats during the whole thing? That's just cruel!"

Epps nodded. "I don't think any of us are fit enough to pull _that_ off, and just _where _are we supposed to get a military cheer?"

Annabelle was watching Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory on Maggie's laptop, an seeing this, Will watched his daughter smile and clap happily. Pausing a moment, he stared at the screen a long moment before smirking. "Why don't we make one up? Our own cheer?" His smirk grew, catching everyone's attention. "And I've got _just_ the song, too!" He leaned in close to the humans and began to plan, blushing and raising his voice a little when all the Autobots leaned down to listen as well. He explained in detail what they'd be doing.

And thankfully, Prime had given them a month to prepare.

After all, great things couldn't be rushed.

**(A month later)**

"This is gonna be humiliating." Mikeala groaned, looking down at her white overalls and brown shirt. Looking over at the other humans in their identical outfits, she suddenly giggled. "But at least I'm not alone."

Sam chuckled a little from her side. Looking up, he blinked and then whistled. "Everyone, he's coming!"

The Autobots all lined up in two rows, tallest behind the shorter, and the humans lined up in front of them. They stood at attention as Optimus approached, and watched as said leader raised an optic ridge at their choice in clothing, before shaking his head. He gestured to his side, where Secretary of Defence John Keller stood, along with General Morshower and a few other dignitarys.

The humans exchanged slightly worried looks before resolving themselves to their plan.

"I hope you have had sufficient time to prepare your cheer." Optimus stated calmly, his tone expectant.

"We have, sir!" Will spoke up, his lips trembling. "Permission to begin?"

The large Autobot regarded him a long moment with a look that clearly screamed 'Oh Primus no!', before he hesitated and nodded, letting out a huge breath as he did. Obviously he figured out something was up, just not what.

Exchanging a look, the group began. There was no music, so they kept at least partial visuals on their partners to help them keep in time as they cheered. They didn't _sing_ either, but belted out the words as loud as they could, doing the squats in a wave motion, starting with front line, then second, then third.

_**Oompa Loompa doompadee doo  
I've got another puzzle for you  
Oompa Loompa doompadah dee  
If you are wise you'll listen to me**_

_**What do you get from a glut of TV?  
A pain in the neck and an IQ of three  
Why don't you try simply reading a book?  
Or could you just not bear to look?**_

_**You'll get no  
You'll get no  
You'll get no  
You'll get no  
You'll get no commercials**_

Optimus' look was one of mild expectation, like he _knew_ they'd screw up his punishment. Even so, he couldn't fight off the minor horror at what they were doing, right in front of the group he'd arrived with. On the upside, Keller and Morshower were at least chuckling, even if the others looked confused.

Cycling his vents, Optimus shook his head and sighed. _I knew it. I knew they'd pull something._

_**Oompa Loompa Doompadee Dah  
If you're not greedy you will go far  
You will live in happiness too  
Like the Oompa  
Oompa Loompa doompadee do**_

Once done, several of the younger mechs sat down, not that they were hurting but they just felt like being lazy. Mikeala followed their lead because her legs _did_ hurt, and Sam almost toppled over backwards. Even with a month of practicing and _lots_ of squats, this was still trying on their legs.

Glenn looked winded just _watching_ them. He was lucky enough that his weight alone forbade him from joining them. Ratchet's health kick had worked in his favor, for once. If he didn't do squats, he didn't risk a heart attack.

Shaking his head, Optimus grumbled to himself in Cybertronian as the humans and Autobots snickered at each other. Even Ratchet, Prowl and Ironhide, who'd taken a _load_ of persuasion to even join in, in the first place, were looking pleased with themselves. Without so much as a word to the others, Optimus turned and headed back into the hangar, leaving his visitors and the pranksters behind him as he went.

It was early in the day, and yet he just _knew_ today was going to be a long day.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Hope you like it.

R+R please.

Thank you.

Tenshi


	56. Ironhide, Balloonapalooza

**Disclaimer** : I don't own it.

**Note** : Requested by **Darklight8121**. A lot of the details and planning is also **Dark**'s.

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

**(Normal POV)**

"The is getting out of hand." Ironhide grumbled as he glared around at the others. _I have a sense of humor and can appreciate a good joke like the rest, but this is going too far._ He agreed with Prime's earlier assessment that the pranking was going too far. Actually, it was probably more the glitch mice and worms that got him.

He shuddered a little as he stalked down the hall. _Ratchet. He's the worst for it._ Optics narrowed as he stalked quietly past the med bay. _No, Prime. It was Prime who was there for the incidents, so it was him who told Ratchet._

Some part of his mind argued it was logical for Prime to talk to Ratchet about it, to explain his injuries and so the medic would know exactly how best to treat him, but what he _didn't_ appreciate was that Ratchet seemed to be having trouble with doctor patient confidentiality when it came to it.

On one hand, however, he _did_ have to admit that all the pranksters were all playing to their strengths. Wheeljack used his mind, the human femmes their creativity, and Sunstreaker and Sideswipe were just plain twin terrors. Then you had Ratchet and Jolt adding in their medical smarts and Jazz thinking outside the box.

Optics blinked off and then back on again.

Heading to his quarters, he entered and locked the doors behind him, before settling down, grabbing one of the many human weapons he'd collected, some wax and a rag, and began cleaning. _They all work to their strengths._ It really showed in the quality and effectiveness of the pranks. Somehow, the thought kept repeating in his head, begging him to do something with it.

Then it hit him.

A smirk lit up Ironhide's features. _I need to do that._ He looked down at himself, his smirk growing. _I'll play to my strengths._ His cannons appeared, whirled as if in agreement, and then disappeared again. _Now... I just need an accomplice._

Not one of the usuals, either. Knowing a lot of them, they'd take the credit, screw up the prank or tell everyone, or turn on him at the last moment. He needed someone who'd never been involved before, and one name came to mind immediately.

Quickly finishing his work, he placed the tiny human gun back, put his things away and went in search of his hopefully soon-to-be accomplice.

**(Rec room. Two Days Later)**

"Where'd you get this idea?" Hound looked up from where he was tediously working several tiny rubber things the humans called 'balloons'. He cursed as one of them snapped against his hold, before he carefully took hold of another one, using slightly less pressure. "These are tiny."

"They're perfect." Ironhide looked over several jars and containers. "We need them to be small, so I can carry more. Hm, the red ones.... Use this." He held up a hot sauce jar with an evil smirk.

Raising an optic ridge, Hound shot him an uncertain look, before shrugging and gently taking the bottle. He grimaced after a moment, and sighed, before activating his new holoform and taking the balloon and hot sauce in the smaller hands. Immediately, he sighed, realizing he was having a much easier time of it with the smaller hands.

Ironhide also activated his holoform, solidifying it and taking a can of whipped cream that had been left in the sun all day. He grimaced as he began to fill a balloon, the smell hitting his receptors and making him positively _cringe_. _Oh yeah, this is going to be so worth it._

"You're certain he won't have you offlined?" Hound actually _gagged_ as he cracked open a container of egg yolks that had been sitting over a heater all day. "This is a little extreme."

"He'll be angry, yes, but he'd never offline his own weapons specialist." Once he was done filling the balloon, he started the next, meanwhile he was simultaneously working on his cannons, rewiring them a little as his internal sensors recalibrated one of his internal holds.

Hound let out a small laugh. "If you're certain." he opened another container, took a deep breath, and cussed voilently. "Holy sweet Primus! What did he _do_ to you?!" Blinking rapidly, the holoform swayed a little and put down the mysterious container, before dissipating as Hound swayed on his mechanical feet, his optics dim a little.

Ironhide couldn't help but chuckle at the image, even as Hound shook his head and seemed to snap out of it. "Ok, maybe that ones a little much."

"You _think_??" Blinking at him, Hound shook his head again and returned to work.

**(With Prowl)**

If there was one thing Prowl was, it was very observant.

He was the one who noticed right away when Ironhide began secluding himself from the others. The weapons specialist had _said_ it was because he was avoiding being hit by any more pranks, but this was a little much, even for him. Things had been quiet for a while, and the second in command kept expecting to see Ironhide at the range, or complaining about one thing or another in the rec room.

No such luck.

And worse off, Hound seemed to have vanished as well.

Logically, if one was missing, the other was probably with them. After all, he'd looked all over the base for both and neither were to be found. _Why_ they were missing was a whole other thing all together.

Finding Prime wandering around, Prowl cocked his head a little to one side. "Prime." He nodded in greeting as his leader turned towards him. "Have you seen Ironhide or Hound lately?"

"Yes, actually. I spotted Hound heading towards Ironhide's quarters earlier."

"This is strange. They've both been isolating themselves from the others for some time now. And more so, they've been spending all their time together." Prowl's optics narrowed. _The week _has_ been too quiet so far._ "Sir, I think they may be planning something."

Optimus sighed and barely resisted the urge to roll his optics. "They've been isolating themselves for two days, Prowl. That's hardly anything serious." Still, he did have doubts. It was unusual for Hound to isolate himself, and Ironhide rarely did so unless he _was_ planning something. Frowning a little, he shook his head. He was about to dismiss the idea when a shout erupted from the rec room.

Startled, both mechs froze, even as Ironhide's voice began rising, his shouting drawing all kinds of attention.

"I'VE HAD IT!!"

Prowl shot Optimus an 'I told you so' look before leading the way into the rec room, where both mechs froze to find Ironhide standing in the center of the room, his cannons whirling at his sides as he glared at the other Autobots in the room.

"THIS HAS GONE ON LONG ENOUGH!" Glaring at the Corvette twins, he raised one arm complete with glowing cannon and sneered at them, his optics flashing. "You two, _you_ started all this! I should offline you both and _end_ it!" He growled and took a menacing step forward.

"Ironhide!" Optimus never raised his voice, but put enough steel into it that Ironhide actually seemed to freeze. Stepping foward, he turned and firmly put himself between Ironhide and the twins, optics narrowed. "We don't harm humans _or_ each other. What has gotten _in_ to you?!"

Remaining silent, the weapons specialist glared at Optimus for a long moment, blankly.

Taking that as a possibly good sign, Optimus took a step forward.

...Only to find himself facing two glowing cannons.

He froze again, even as a loud chorus of gasps sounded through the room, and it went deadly silent. he stared at the cannons, feeling his spark pulsing erratically before lifting his optics to Ironhide. "Lower your weapons." His voice remained steady as he stared down his old friend. _This can't be happening._ Vaguely, Optimus could make out the sounds of several other sets of weapons coming out.

Prowl began to move slowly, pacing silently until he was behind Ironhide. He took a step forward, his arms raising in a grabing motion, when Hound, who'd been leaning against a nearby wall, launched himself off it and grabbed Prowl. The element of surprise worked in his favor, he was able to take down the second in command, restraining him before looking up.

"Shoot, 'Hide! Shoot! Now!"

With a smirk, Ironhide did just that. He fired his cannons at Prime's face.

Everyone cried out in shock, expecting their leaders head to blow apart from the force, and weapons raised, aiming at Ironhide. Then, everyone froze.

Optimus gaped, optics shuttered and jaw hanging losely while tan seeds, orange gunk and bits of orange rubber slowly dripped down his face. Raising a hand, he wiped his face off, then onlined his optics, glaring slightly at the now laughing weapons specialist.

"Whoo! Go Ironhide!" Hound cheered, letting go of Prowl in the process.

Quick as lightning, Prowl had pushed Hound off him, and got up, spinning to Ironhide.

And getting a brown balloon of some sort of peanut butter goop all over his own face.

All standing by began to laugh, especially the twins. That is, until one got a face full of rancid whipped cream in a white balloon and the other egg yolk in a yellow balloon. Everyone began ducking and screaming, the humans vacating the room before Ironhide could come after them. Meanwhile, said Ironhide was cackling evilly with glee as he shot one bot after the other.

About the only Autobot not targeted was hound, who was once again leaning against the wall, laughing his aft off, even as he watched the others dodging nasty balloons filled with countlss items. He watched as Prime took a hit to the aft, causing him to give a rather unmechly yelp, before turning and shooting a glare at Ironhide. Then Prime ducked as Ironhide shot at him again, and Ratchet who'd been standing behind Prime took the shot to the face.

After about an hour, Ironhide powered down his now empty cannons, smirking as he stared at the goop-covered troops.

"Haha. I win!" He smirked at the others. The Corvette twins snarled and shot him glares, but he only raised one of his cannons and raised an optic ridge. "I. WIN."

They backed down, slipping and sliding on the goop all over the floors, and wincing at the smell that filtered through the room.

With a final grunt, Ironhide turned and walked out of the room, high fiving Hound as he passed him. Hound quickly followed, not wanting to be left behind as the other Autobots gathered their wits.

One thing was for sure, he now had one _hell_ of a target on his back!

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Hope you like it.

R+R please.

Thank you.

Tenshi


	57. Caramelldansen

**Disclaimer** : I don't own it. I also don't own the Underarm Deoderant (Degree for Men?) Commercial.

**Note** : Requested by **Savior Angel**. Look up Caramelldansen on youtube, and think of the Autobots dancing in their place, and you'll laugh your afts off for sure! LMAO! P.S. I thoroughly suggest watching the video, and the lyrics are translated, so this IS how they sound in the song (and the site I got the lyrics from).

**Starfire201** - Oh yeah, I forgot about Hound for a minute there. LOL! Yeah I'm sure he's got a pretty big target on his aft, too. LOL Nothing shall stop the pranks! NOTHING! *watches as her muse takes a soaring nosedive off the nearest cliff, to land with a bloody, painful death at the bottom of the cliff* ...Except maybe that. O.o

**(Mikeala's POV)**

As I set up my living room, I looked around and sighed happily. This was a nice, semi-normal way to relax, and I was thoroughly planning to enjoy it. Bending down, I grunted a little as I shoved the coffee table back out of the way, before placing a few thick, padded mats on the ground in it's place, lining one up next to the other. By the time I was done, it almost looked like a gym, which was the exact feeling I was going for.

The rumble of a familiar engine filled the air, and I slipped the DVD into the player, setting it up before pausing it and walking over to the door.

"Sarah. Maggie." I grinned at the girls, before waving at Ironhide as he pulled out, watching the gruff 'driver' wave back briefly before continuing on. "Well, he's as grouchy as ever."

"Late night." Sarah rolled her eyes as she walked in, Maggie in tow. "Apparently his sensors picked up movement by Anna's window, and he transformed and blasted the damned thing." She glared a little. "And woke my baby up over a luna moth."

"Poor moth." Maggie snickered, before patting Sarah awkwardly with her free hand. "Now, where do I put these down?" She gestured to the tray of caffinated gold she was holding, from the local Tim Hortons.

"Right here." I closed the door and grabbed the largest ice cap, as usual, grinning as Sarah quickly grabbed her large french vanilla ice cap, and Maggie her butter caramel. "Yum." I took a sip, then paused. "You know, these probably cancel out our morning workouts."

"I don't care." Sarah added in, slipping off her shoes and carefully pulling off her jacket. "I could weight three hundred pounds and be unable to move, and I wouldn't care. I want my Timmies!"

"Gimme my Timmies and you won't get hurt." Maggie snickered in her thickly accented voice, her blue eyes sparkling with laughter as she took a sip. "Ratch learned that the hard way."

Sarah was sipping her drink, and almost choked on it before giggling and nodding. "Oh, I saw. He refused to take Maggie by Timmies, and Xena here threatened to kick out his windows if he didn't. In the end, he took her alright, but ditched her in the parking lot."

"Good thing Ironhide was nearby." The blonde hacker grinned as we walked into the living room. "I promised him a good wash later for giving me a ride."

Placing her drink on the table, Sarah looked at the video with a grin. "Oh Lord, what do you think the boys would think if they knew...?" She gestured to the picture frozen on the screen.

I took a quick look and laughed. "More. Please."

"Don't stop." Maggie added with a nod, placing her own drink down as she removed her jacket.

"Swing those hips!"

"I'm gonna sleep well tonight."

"Oh. My. God!"

"Thank you God!"

"Hell _yeah_!"

I doubled over laughing at Maggie's waggle of the eyebrows, and watched as she and Sarah began stretching. We were all dressed in our workout clothes, consisting of slightly baggy jogging pants, and light tank tops. As I joined them, we began stretching, and spent the next ten minutes doing that before actually starting.

As I played the video, and we danced to specially choreographed moves, I paused in the middle and stared uncomprehendingly at the anime girls dancing on the screen, as perhaps the _weirdest_ idea I'd ever had came over me. They were more or less just bouncing in place and swaying their hips as they went. Luckily our moves were more complex, but I had the sudden vision of... Doubling up laughing, I couldn't tear my eyes away from the screen, as much as I dearly wanted to.

"What? What??"

Shaking my head, I stood up straight and took a deep breath. I was about to open my mouth to tell them, when a rumble of an engine, and a loud honk was heard. "Wha-He's early." Turning, I led the way to the door and opened it as Ironhide's holoform came rushing over.

"We gotta go. There's been a strange signal in the area that no one recognizes."

"Is it a threat?" I crossed my arms over my chest. After all, he hadn't said it was a _Decepticon_ signal, and Ironhide usually differentiated verbally for us.

"It doesn't matter, woman!" He spat, grabbing Sarah by the arm. "We gotta go. I'm taking my charge, so hurry up and get in!" He paused and seemed to listen to something, before rolling his eyes. "You're _dancing_?!" He gave Sarah an incredulous look. "Never mind. Come on, let's go."

"Wait! What about our-"

"_Now_!" Ironhide grabbed my arm as well, and the next thing I knew, we were being hauled towards the truck.

"I just wanted to grab my drink." I felt my irritation rise. I'd barely even had time to drink a third of it.

"It can wait!"

Frowning, I caught Sarah's eyes and watched as Maggie obediantly but unhappily followed us, and the expressions in their faces said the same thing as the thoughts going through my mind.

_This better be a freaking life or death emergency, or someone's gonna get it!_

**(Normal POV, A Month Later)**

Wheeljack nervously looked around, optics shining brightly and facial fins flashing with anxiety as he rounded another corner of the base hall. He shifted a tiny bag in one large hand as he went, and grumbled to himself in Cybertronian.

Glancing around a corner, he paused and ducked back out of sight, stepping into a spare room and waiting until his sensors indicated Ironhide and Prowl had gone past on their routes. Luckily it was a supply closet, so an Autobot's signal inside it wouldn't stick out to them.

Once he deemed it safe, he snuck out of the room and hurried down the hall, glancing around repeatedly as he went, before slipping into a human's quarters via their guardian's entrance, and pausing at the sight of the three women in front of him.

"Did anyone follow you?"

"I'm pretty sure I evaded them."

"Good, you got the stuff?"

Holding up the bag, Wheeljack tilted his head a little. "Why do you need these? You _do_ realize how much trouble I'll be in if-"

"Relax." The third woman spoke up, clearly the leader of the group. "Just hand over the chips and we'll think up a cover story to cover your aft. You'll be safe. No offlining, ok?" She held out a hand expectantly. "As for _why_ we need those, let's just say Ironhide ticked off the wrong humans."

"That was a waste of ten bucks and perfectly good drinks." The lighter blonde hissed darkly. "Twice."

"Over a truck with Barricade's bumper stuck to it. No threat, and he _still_ nabbed us." The final girl's glare was enough for Wheeljack to almost throw them the bag. "No one takes us from our cafffinated goodness and gets away scott free."

"And it wasn't just _him_, either." They shared glares.

"You've got the chips. My name stays out of it?" He eyed the strange femmes in front of him, once again making a mental note to never anger the mates of his human allies.

"Deal. No one will know. Promise." Mikeala took a look into the bag, her lips pulling up into a rather frightening grin. "This is going to be priceless."

As Wheeljack left he room, he sighed in relief and darted down the hall. If Autobots could sweat, he'd be drenched, even as he shivered a little and continued on. _Primus, I have a bad feeling!_

**(Two Days Later, Mikeala's POV)**

I was laying back on an air mattress on the abandoned section of the base runway, dressed in short jean cuttoffs and a pink tank top as I sun bathed, reading a magazine to pass the time. On my left was Sarah, who was sipping her french vanilla ice cap, and Maggie was on our right with her butter caramel.

Wheeljack walked past, shooting us nerouvs glances as he went, and even picking up his pace when I nudged the others and we all shot him looks.

"We've got him whipped." Maggie giggled quietly into her drink.

"Can you blame him? Oh, how did your implants go?" I grinned widely, thinking of my own.

She smirked and placed her drink on the ground to shoot me two thumbs up, before lifting her drink to her lips. Sarah didn't even bother to put her drink down, giving me an evil smirk and lifted eyebrow as my answer.

"So how long do you think we should wait?"

"Don't they have a meeting out here, judging the safety of the runway or something, in a few minutes?" Maggie pursed her lips.

I giggled and picked up my own ice cap. "Wonder how far that'll get when they see three humans sun bathing on it." I snickered, before taking a sip. "Oh, I can't _wait_! This'll teach Ironhide and Ratchet to mess with us."

"I'm just glad we agreed not to prank Optimus this time."

I looked to Sarah and nodded. "Well, he _did_ tell Ratchet to leave us be the second time, only to be ignored. That warrants _some_ respect."

"You know, I've never seen Ratchet as a fe-"

"Shhhhhh!" I clapped a hand over Sarah's mouth, and watched as she narrowed her eyes mock indignantly, before we both busted up into giggles. "Show time." I whispered, reaching under the towel at my side for the tiny remote.

Optimus Prime, Bumblebee, Jazz, Ratchet and Ironhide... The first five Autobot arrivals on earth, were approaching with a few familiar faces. Among them were Simmons, Keller, Will, Robert, Sam, and General Morshower, who had finally been allowed to be introduced personally to the Autobots.

"Why, again, did we get Jazz?"

I shrugged at Maggie. "'Cause we could." I waited until they got closer, before snickering and hitting the switch.

Optimus was in the lead, so he didn't notice anything unusual with his officers behind him. Jazz, Ratchet and Ironhide were all walking side by side, facing forward, so they didn't notice either. Bumblebee and the humans, on the other hand, froze solid.

It was when the music started that Optimus' head sank. Immediately he turned to face us with a 'What? _AGAIN???_' look, before taking a deep breath and bravely daring a look over his shoulders.

Then he did a double take, his jaw dropping.

"What the _slag_?!?" The now feminine Ironhide screeched, catching the attention of all the other Autobots and humans milling around on the base in general. He glanced at the two mechs next to him, and a slightly relieved look came to his optics. "Oh, pit! Thank Primus I'm not the only one!" He sighed heavily.

With expressions of dread, the newly feminine Jazz and Ratchet exchanged looks, before squealing, yes _squealing,_ and chattering away in anxious sounding Cybertronian.

Sam was by this point carefully and quietly leading the humans away, with the help of Bumblebee, who was shaking uncontrollably with his attempts to muffle his laughter. Glancing my way, Sam's wide eyes widened even more, and he paused, frowning. 'Caramelldansen???' He mouthed in horror.

And yeah, I listened to the song enough around him that he knew the music.

As the music picked up, the three mech-femmes froze, their optics going blank as they stood next to each other. What happened next either sent mechs offlining, or humans screeching in laughter. Even Optimus collapsed heavily onto his aft, his jaw hanging and a look of traumatized shock on his face, as Prowl toppled over sideways behind him.

_**Women are you ready to join us now?**_

Skids was in the midst of taping an 'Out of Order' sign to Prowl's face plates when the dancing started, and he froze, his own jaw dropping.

Arms were raised into the air, over heads, and the mech-femmes began bouncing back and forth, swaying their hips as they went. They had expressions of utter joy on their faces as they swayed, and sang.

_**Hands in the air, we will show you how.**_

_**Come and try,**_

_**Caramell will be your guide (be your guide)**_

Mudflap had taken the note from his shocked brother's hands and tapped it to _his_ forehead, before busting up laughing and dashing across the runway. Sunstreaker and Sideswipe had paused in waxing each other to watch the show with looks of horror in their faces, before turning to us and shrinking back with dual looks of utter reverence and terror in their optics.

_**Come on and move your hips, singing**_

_**Oa-ah-ah**_

_**Look at you two hips do it**_

_**La-la-la**_

_**You and me, can sing this melody.**_

The mech-femmes suddenly took three steps to the side, following the music, before going back and resuming their jumping and swaying with their arms in the air.

Optimus was staring at his CMO, Weapons Specialist and First Lieutentant in shock. The three mechs made excellent femmes, I'd admit, but the idea they were really mechs was kind of scary. And if you add in Ratchet and Ironhide's usually gruff exteriors...

_**Owah-owah-ah-oh**_

I doubled over laughing, leaning against Sarah, with Maggie leaning against me. "Oh, _Lord!_" I giggled hysterically as the mechs jumped again, their chassis bouncing ever so slightly with the jumps, and Optimus' utterly blank look, his jaw creaking in the wind.

Glancing to the door of the hangar, I made out the approach of three motorcycles and laughed even harder as they transformed and watched in confused amusement. Chromia wheeled over to the 'Vette twins who seemed to have abandoned their cloths in favor of watching the show, and spoke quietly to them, and I guess she was asking who the femmes were, because a few moments later she was on the ground, laughing her aft off.

_**Dance to the beat,**_

_**Wave your hands together**_

_**Come feel the heat, forever and forever**_

_**Listen and learn**_

_**It's time for prancing**_

_**Now we are here, with Caramell dancing!**_

I was already laughing hard, but when Bumblebee squeaked and rushed out to dance _with_ the mech-femmes, I think I very nearly offlined myself with laughter. At this point, Optimus was shaking his head and chuckling, even with his face half buried under one of his hands.

Seeing Bee out there sent the Chevy twins following him, and soon there were six Autobots swaying their hands in the air and their hips side to side. This, of course, set off the femmes, who went out and joined, still laughing their afts off. Before long, all the younglings and femmes were out there dancing, and Optimus was clutching his stomach from laughter.

I got up and began packing my things, even as I took another sip from my drink.

_**O-o-owah-owah**_

_**O-o-owah-owah-ah-oh**_

_**O-o-owah-owah**_

_**O-o-owah-owah-ah-oh**_

_**Come on and move your hips, singing**_

_**Oa-ah-ah**_

Oh their hips were moving and they were singing alright!

_**Look at you two hips do it**_

_**La-la-la**_

_**You and me, can sing this melody.**_

I giggled hysterically, dropping the deflating air mattress when I saw them dancing. I even watched as the humans the Autobots had brought out were laughing their behinds off. Bee had a look of utter bliss on his face as he squeaked and warbled cutely, dancing along, and the twins were almost bumping in to each other as they went. Sideswipe and the...very reluctant Sunstreaker were actually pretty good, though Sunny's glare pretty much scared anyone off from _saying_ anything about it.

Still...

"I should see about asking the 'Vette twins to join our workout class." I whispered to Sarah and Maggie, watching as Maggie fell to her knees in laughter and Sarah clutched at her stomach, her face turning bright red.

"Lord help us all. We'd better hurry and get outta here." Maggie quickly squeezed the air out of her air mattress, before half stuffing it into her bag, and picking her bag and drink up.

We quickly followed suit and were ready to dash off at a moment's notice.

_**So come and**_

_**Dance to the beat,**_

_**Wave your hands together**_

_**Come feel the heat, forever and forever**_

_**Listen and learn**_

_**It's time for prancing**_

_**Now we are here, with Caramell dancing!**_

Briskly walking over to Optimus, I shot him a big toothy grin. "Aren't you glad you didn't interfere with out workouts and get between us and our Timmies?" I asked, leaning against his leg and giggling as Bee took the lead, standing next to the dazed mech-femmes.

_**Dance to the beat,**_

_**Wave your hands together**_

_**Come feel the heat, forever and forever**_

_**Listen and learn**_

_**It's time for prancing**_

_**Now we are here, with Caramell dancing!**_

He sighed heavily. "Let me guess... That human saying, 'Give me my Timmies and you won't get hurt'?"

I giggled, almost choking on my drink, before taking a step away. "Oh yeah." I nodded, before Sarah, Maggie and I quickly fled the area, _not_ wanting to be around when the override chips wore off, and the illusion chips were still in place.

We were by the hangar door when a rather feminine roar reached our ears, and we shrieked and ran into the building as a giant metallic wrench bounced off the nearby walls.

Hope you like it.

R+R please.

Thank you.

Tenshi


	58. Blurr, Slow Poke

**Disclaimer** : I don't own it.

**Note** : Requested by **hummergrey**. I was reading one of their chapters when they mentioned run-on sentences were now edited out automatically on , so I've added dashes in between words to show the speed talking, and hopefully it will work. If not, I'll just have to write it normally and have readers use their imaginations, I guess. -.-'

**NOTE 2** : Ok, so... I still have ideas, but my muse is all but gone for writing them at the moment. Slowly, my muse has been turning towards other stories I've got in the works, and I've finally lost it. That does not mean there will never be anymore (I have 3 more chapter complete for this fiction alone, and more ideas coming), it just means it might be a while before the next update.

Thank you all for being patient and sticking with me so long on this story. Your comments are all really appreciated. :)

**(Normal POV)**

Blurr raced down the hall, easily beating out the Corvettes, Jazz and even Bumblebee in their impromptu race. He skidded around the humans with surprising ease and speed, dashing down another hall and around a corner. Seeing Ratchet in the process of crossing the hall up ahead, he checked behind him and made out Suntstreaker right on his tail pipe. "Hah! Eat-my-dust-fragger!"

He sped up even more, dashing under Ratchet's foot as it was on it's way down, and hearing the squeal of brakes and Cybertronian cusses as the yellow 'Vette skidded to a stop just short of being stepped on.

"Fragging pit-spawned slaggers!" Ratchet cursed, and Blurr _just_ managed to make it around a corner before a wrench hit where he'd been driving. "Watch where you're going! Someone's going to get killed!"

"Not-today!" Blurr cackled as he skidded to a stop in the main hangar and transformed quickly, ducking behind a parked C17 before spotting Bee, racing forward, and tackling the scout from behind, knocking the startled youngling over. "Bee! How-ya-doing??"

Watching the rambunctious speedster knock the little yellow scout over, Ironhide sighed heavily, before turning to watch as Ratchet walked over, looking irate. "Let me guess, Blurr?"

The medic growled. "We need to slow him down."

Wheeljack sauntered over, took a look at the situation, and hummed a little in thought. "That might just be possible. It could take some serious rewiring, but I might be able to...." He trailed off as he began thinking. "If you can get him into the med bay tonight, I think I can help you." Sending a data burst to Ratchet, he walked off, fine tuning his plan as he went.

Exchanging a look, Ratchet sent a copy of the data burst to Ironhide. They both went over it, and apparently seeing no real problems, they shruggd in unison. Then looking back out over the speedster, they both winced as Blurr collided with Prowl, knocking the second in command over and chattering away so fast, the humans were exchanging clueless looks.

"I don't see any real problems with it."

"What have we got to lose?" Ironhide rolled his optics at Ratchet, before huffing and stalking off.

_Well, he honestly won't be called the 'speedster' anymore, when we're through with him._ With a grim smirk, Ratchet walked away, leaving the poor SiC to take care of the speedster for the time being. _Hopefully, _this_ experiment won't blow up._

**(Later)**

Wheeljack looked over the plans once again, making sure everything was in order, before making his way towards the med bay. Ratchet had already commed him to let him know Blurr was ready and sedated, thinking he was just going for a usual checkup.

He had to roll his optics.

By this point, pretty much everyone knew not to trust when Ratchet called them for 'just a checkup'. Those who avoided his appointments before, fled to a whole other country when that time approached, now. Those who went along readily enough, ran for their sparks by this point.

As he entered the med bay, he raised an optic ridge at Ironhide and Jolt, who stood by nearby, before shaking his head and walking over. Ratchet already had the necessary panels open, and 'Jack simply grabbed up the tools before he began the process.

"You sure you know what you're doing?" Ironhide asked doubtfully.

Lifting his head, the scientist fixed the weapons specialist with a dry look. "If it wasn't for certain pranksters, I think we can all agree my most recent experiments would have been perfect successes." The smell of smoke reached his sensors, and he quickly looked back down, cursing and putting out a small electrical fire, then wincing and looking up at Ratchet, who was shaking his head. "That wasn't my fault."

Ironhide snorted, but a clang rang out through the room, and one dangerous look from the medic had him beating a hasty retreat.

Scoffing to himself, Whelljack grabbed a spare wire to replace the one that burnt, and continued on with his rewiring. When it came to adjusting the speed, he paused a moment, not entirely certain what to adjust it to. It was a simple calculation, but one he refused to admit he hadn't thought to make. He couldn't simply guess, either, as different mechs were automatically set to different speeds. Speeds that suited their frames and ranks.

"Problem?" Ratchet raised an optic ridge from his position across from Wheeljack.

Raising a hand, 'Jack began mentally running calculations in his processor, trying to pick the right speed. A moment later, and he entered the information into the unconscious mech's systems. Then he finished his work and pulled back. "Alright. Time to close him up. Then we can see how this works."

The medic's optics narrowed a moment, before he nodded and leaned forward, reaching for one of the panels. "Alright, but one question." Looking up, Ratchet frowned suspiciously. "Why don't you sound so sure?"

**(The Next Day)**

Bee whistled innocently as he wandered down the hall, smiling towards the twins, and grinning once they were out of sight. He waved excitedly towards Sam and Mikeala, watching as his humans wandered on, and then snickered quietly as he bypassed Optimus.

"O....k.....spilllll.....!"

The voice startled Bee, and he jumped, spinning and staring blankly at the blue bot behind him. Tilting his head a little, he raised an optic ridge.

"Yoouuurrrreeeee....hiiidddiiinnngggg......sooommmmeeeethiiiinnnnggg...."

The very _very_ slow voice was unexpected, and from the look on his face, Blurr didn't notice a thing wrong.

_**'Ratchet? It's Bumblebee. I think something's wrong with Blurr.'**_ The little scout blinked, the reason for his merriment fading from his processors as he took in the way Blurr unfolded his arms slowly, and began walking forward even slower.

_**'What makes you think that?'**_

Blinking a moment, Bumblebee frowned. _**'He's....slow.'**_

_**'Oh, yes, Wheeljack rewired him to be slower. That's all.'**_

_**'No... He's...**_**SLOW**_**.'**_ Backing up a step, Bumblebee's optics widened as he looked past Blurr and noticed smoking slithering out of one of the rooms. "Oh, _hell_ no!" The voice clip was that of a male, and Bee took another step back. "Run, Forest, run!" he quickly transformed, as Blurr looked back, and took off. _**'Hurry, Blurr!'**_

Blurr finally seemed to notice something was wrong, and began transforming. People actually stopped to stare as he went, Sam tilting his head to one side.

"Is it me, or is he...slow?"

"Just a little." Mikeala was able to actually follow specific gears as they shifted, and he winced, shaking her head to keep from getting hypnotized.

_**'Come on, Blurr! My grandbot could transform faster!'**_ Bumblebee snickered as his engine revved excitedly. As the smoke got worse, he cursed again and took off. _**'Every bot for themselves!'**_

_**'Waaaaaaiiiiiiiiiitttttttt!'**_ Blurr finally finished transforming and began slowly cruising along the road, causing the humans to start laughing.

Suddenly, there was a loud explosion, and Wheeljack was sent flying out of the room down the hall, crashing into the wall and swearing violently as he lay there a moment. Looking up at the sound of squealing tires, he watched as a familiar yellow Camaro took off near at the speed of light. Then he took in the blue speedster sneaking off at a snail's pace, and tilted his head a little.

_Well slag. I think I miscalculated. I'm gonna have to fix that._ Another explosion sounded, and he ducked. _After finding out who messed with my latest experiment._ Growling a little, he slowly got up and stood at the entrance of his former lab, which was a blackened, smoking mess. With a sigh, he worked his way inside and got to work cleaning up.

Ironhide heard the explosion, and the only thing that kept him from rushing to the scene, was the shock of the extremely _long_ call that sounded over internal communications, in Blurr's voice. He stood in the center of the hall, jumping out of the way just as a Camaro came roaring around the corner, and then staring blankly as Blurr followed incredibly slowly.

His lips trembled as he watched the Chevy twins circling him, taunting him as they went.

"Stoooooooooooppppppp...itttt..............!"

"What'cha gonna do, kick our afts?" Skids snickered.

Mudflap began to laugh. "We'll be older than Ironhide before he even gets his hands on us!"

Clearing his throat pointedly, Ironhide narrowed his optics at the twins, allowing his cannons to come out and whirrling them dangerously. "That, or I'll already have offlined you both."

They froze a second, before taking off quickly, leaving Blur to almost crawl away slowly, watching as humans walked by over twice as fast as he drove, and chuckling as the poor speedster cursed in Cybertronian. With a laugh, Ironhide shook his head, and turned away. _**'Ratchet. You're gonna wanna fix Blurr. He's **_**too**_** slow now.'**_

_**'So I've heard.'**_ Came the dry response, before there was a sigh. _**'Keep an eye on him. I'm on the way.'**_

_That shouldn't be hard._Rolling his optics, Ironhide leaned against the wall, watching as Blurr crawled along, keeping his optics on the slow poke. _Nope. Not hard at all._

Hope you like it.

R+R please.

Thank you.

Tenshi


	59. Arcee, Ghost Rider

**Disclaimer** : I don't own it.

**Note** : Requested by **Lunatic Pandora1**.

Also, I don't really know what colors Prowl is, but since Barricade is black and white, I've decided I'm going to stick with blue and white for the law enforcement bot. The good one, that is. -.-'

* * *

**(Normal POV)**

Arcee looked around Wheeljack's lab. "This is where you work?" She tilted her head a little, looking vaguely surprised. _Huh, I expected it to be...messier._

He nodded absently as he leaned over a container holding a glowing bright orange liquid.

"Any reason it's orange this time?"

He snorted a little and shot her a look. "Remember the twins? At least this time it can't be confused as energon." He scoffed a little and returned to his work. "Although where they got the idea I'd be _hiding_ energon from my allies is beyond me." Shaking his head, he took a tiny sample and began fiddling around with it. "What was it you needed, anyways?"

Arcee took a long look at the orange substance, and then compared it to what the green must have looked like. _Ok, so I can see their confusion._ She admitted quietly, stifling a snicker as she remembered how the twins had been nicknamed the 'glowbots' for the few hours it took for the chemical compound to wear off. Luckily, Wheeljack had been right about it being harmless.

"Well, I just... I wanted to pull a prank and I wanted your help."

Wheeljack tensed immediately, having heard that statement a few too many times _not_ to feel immediately worried. "Um..."

"Oh! It's easy. I just need... Well..." She activated her internal communications and quickly sent him an image file with what she was going for. "I need a temporary remodel. It's....kind of an earth dare."

Frowning slightly, he opened the file. His optics then drifted down to the orange concoction in front of him, before over to her. "And you need..." He trailed off, gesturing towards the container with a somewhat dry look. "Why is it I ever get to finish my experiments?"

"Maybe you need a lab off base?"

"Then the lot of you would chase me out there." He shot back, raising an optic ridge. "_And_ there'd be no witnesses to watch me being 'persuaded' if I argue." He shuddered a little, remembering the last time he'd refused to help and the threats of welding during recharge that he received.

With a slight laugh, Arcee tapped her finger against her chin as she quickly processed something. "Alright. If you can help me, I'll get you more of this stuff, _and_ I'll make sure no one else bothers you while you finish your experiments."

He thought about it a long moment.

"And you know I could probably talk Chromia and Flare-up into helping me." Arcee singsonged a little, winking.

Not that he was interested in them _that_ way, but the promise of three femmes chasing off anyone who'd bother him. "Alright, but my name stays out of it. I've _seen_ some of those revenge pranks." He shuddered a little.

With a final nod, Arcee sat back and began planning.

**(Later)**

"You think she did it?" Mikeala was walking through the hall in her leather riding outfit, which she knew Sam loved. Unfortunately, from the number of blatant stares and whistles, it appeared he wasn't the only one. She glowered at one soldier, warning him with her eyes, before pointedly taking Sam's arm and leaning into him more. "I mean, she liked her form the way it was."

"True, but you did dare her, and you know her standing on dares." Sam tightened his hold on Mikeala, forcibly ignoring the stares of the other soldiers. "I'm curious." He finally admitted. "I'd like to see her pull it off."

"Can you imagine what people would think, seeing the Ghost Rider actually driving down the street?"

"I wonder if I can get her to tape the reactions."

"She'd do it anyways." Mikeala was smirking a little as she shifted her helmet.

True. With a matching smirk, Sam led Mikeala into the room, and they paused. "Is that...?"

"Arcee?"

The two humans watched as the femme stood before them, holding an empty container. Her normally pink armor was now silver and a lot more...well... It sort of reminded Sam of chainmail. There was a large skull on her chest armer, and her protoform under her amor glowed bright orange.

Then, she put the container down and transformed.

"Holy....sweet mother of...." Sam's jaw dropped.

All around the room, soldiers stopped what they were doing as instead of the usual pink Ducati, Arcee transformed into a heavily armored, silver and black bike with a skull on the front, and the handlebars ending in dragon heads. The front and back wheels appeared to be on fire, but Mikeala walked over and held her hand over the flames.

"'Keala!" Sam had dashed forward but paused when he saw her smiling at him. "Let me guess, hologram?"

"Oh man, this is so awesome!" With a quick kiss, Mikeala pulled her helmet on and quickly stradled the bike.

And Sam's jaw almost literally hit the ground as Mikeala's helmet lit up as well. His eyes were wide as the engine revved, and he watched with mixed worry and envy as they took off out of the hangar.

**(Out on the Highway)**

Mikeala giggled quietly a she caught sight of herself in the mirror. Her jacket had taken on a more ragged look, and chains wrapped around her waist and wrists. Her helmet took on the look of a skull on fire, and considering the darker sky of the sunset... She smirked evilly, before revving the engine and taking off. _Now _this_ is a ride!_

Tapping on Arcee's handle, she watched, amused, as Arcee hid the 'disguise', turning into a silver and black bike. She sped off down the road carelessly, knowing an Autobot wouldn't just get into an accident easily, and knowing that eventually, they'd pass a...

No sooner had the thought crossed her mind, an alarm started up.

Smirking behind her helmet, Mikeala watched the flashing lights of the cruiser as it pulled out of a side street and began following them. Slowly pulling over, she waited until the cop got out and walked over -thanking all that was holy that it was a regular cop- before tapping Arcee's handle again and watching the show unfold.

The cop froze solid as parts of the bike began to shift silently and underneath began to glow orange. His eyes widened and he felt the notepad slip from nerveless fingers as the wheels then seemed to ignite on fire, the flames spreading around the rims before blazing high. Finally, he watched as the helmet of the 'rider' began to lighten and shift as well, until he was staring at a bald skull, also blazing with flames.

"Uh...."

Turning her head, Mikeala locked her eyes on the form of the cop, through her visor, and she kicked the kickstand down, brushing her hand lightly against the dragon's head handles as she got up and walked over. She might have been shorter than the cop, but that didn't diminish her terrifying aura, as the cop began to scream and fell over backwards, scrabbling back towards his car.

Snickering silently, Mikeala tilted her head a little and took another step forward, listening to the high pitched screams of the cop as he finally got back to his feet and took off. She watched with silent laughter as he ran back to his car and got in. Then she nearly doubled over as Arcee turned herself around and came up beside Mikeala, causing his jaw to drop and eyes to widen even more.

Shaking her head, she climbed onto the bike, and patted it lightly, before taking off.

As she watched the car squeal off in the rearview mirror, she doubled over laughing, and Arcee swerved sharply as she joined her human rider.

**(The Next Day)**

Prowl frowned as he walked into the room. "All thre Arcee components, front and center." He spoke quietly, but his voice was full of authority, and all three femmes straightened and stood single file in front of him. Looking at a data pad in his hand, he glanced up and raised an optic ridge "Would anybot care to tell me why an officer Greyson quit the graveyard shift of route 22 last night, around ten pm?"

Arcee's optics widened as she heard a rather suspicious choke behind her, and she clamped her lip plates together, trying not to laugh.

Frowning deeper, Prowl's optics turned right towards the pink component. "And would you also mind explaining why your protoform is glowing?"

Looking down, she felt he optics widen even more. "Uh..." _**'Wheeljack? Mind telling me why I'm still glowing?'**_

_**'Well, you never really told me how long you needed the glow to last, so I mixed in a couple extra glow sticks, and a special, harmless chemical to make the glow last longer. It should wear off in another hour or two.'**_

_**'Oh. Good. It'll wear off while I'm in the brig then.'**_ She shot back sarcastically, taking a single step back as Prowl glared at her. "Well, um... Gotta go!" Turning, she transformed in a quick move and drove out of the hangar as fast as she could, a blue and white police cruiser hot on her tail pipe and choked laughter following their exit.

* * *

Hope you like it.

R+R please.

Thank you.

Tenshi


	60. Optimus, Hologram Glitches

**Disclaimer** : I don't own it.

**Note** : This idea comes from **hummergrey**'s fiction, 'If an Autobot, do NOT do the following'. This is following the basic 'prank' **hummergrey** mentioned, but with some modifcations specific for this chapter alone.

I am hurriedly posting the last of the chapters so that I can set this story as complete (though I do still have ideas put aside) and focus on another story I'm writing, for a while. This is the second last update.

Thank you again everyone, for being so amazing and taking the time to read and even review. Your comments are appreciated.

**(Mikeala's POV)**

"Do I even _want_ to know how you got a hold of _that_ image?" I felt my eyes widen as I looked at the mini form moving slowly and surprisingly....provokatively. _Hm, maybe I can get her to teach me a few moves._ Blinking, I shook my head and raised an eyebrow at the large blue eyes looking down at me. "You know what? Never mind. Let me look over the schematics again?"

The yellow 'Vette activated a holographic schematic of wiring, and I got back to work rewiring the bot in front of me. "Ok, I'm almost done. Just make sure to give me the words you want to act as key words."

"Oh man, this is gonna be great!" The silver 'Vette snickered evilly. "He's not gonna know what hit him."

I smirked. "Nope. Not one bit." Finishing up my work, I sighed happily, satisfied, and then began working on loading the different words and commands, and coordinating them with certain images that would pop up. Once I was done _that_, I snickered and closed up the panel under his right side and stood up, getting a lift from Sides, as Sunny replaced his arm by his side. "Test?"

Sides snickered and activated the program. Speaking several of the key words, he chuckled quietly when the corresponding images appeared, and then reattached some cords on the back of the mech's neck, before we beat a hasty retreat.

**(The Next Day)**

I walked down the hall, unable to keep from smirking as I spoke with Sarah and Maggie. I didn't tell them anything about the prank, but I think they knew. Then again, the constant _smirk_ stuck to my face probably didn't help.

"Spill."

I shot Maggie a look and snickered a little, before shaking my head. "No, you'll see soon enough."

"Oh, come on." Sarah pouted a little.

"Nope."

"Please?"

"Nuh-uh." I shook my head again and giggled as we entered the rec room. Spotting Optimus Prime sitting on the couch, I felt a truly evil grin cross my features, before I masked my expression and walked over. "Hey boss bot. What's up?"

He looked at me and smiled a little, though looking slightly confused. "Not much, but I fear something is wrong with Jazz."

I blinked, and bit my lip as the urge to laugh came over me. I felt Sarah stiffen at my side, and turned to see her eyes wide and her jaw hanging limply, before turning as Maggie shivered at my side.

"Is something wrong?"

I shook my head. "No, I think it's just the, uh...spider....crawling......up your helmet." _The two foot long, _pink_ spider crawling up your helmet._ I bit my lip as a giggle caught in my throat. _Heh, key word 'fear'._

"I see."

Sarah made a rather suspicious choking sound, and Maggie flat out squeaked as a pair of giant glasses appeared over his optics. I faked a cough to cover my laughter, and placed a hand over my mouth. _Key word 'see'._

"So how have _you_ been today?" I swallowed heavily, sinking my teeth into my inner cheek to keep from laughing.

"I was rather tied up this morning, but I managed to get all the work done." A large golden coil of rope tied around his chest and wrists, although he was looking at us and never once noticed. "I am, however, expecting Secretary Keller later for a meeting." His entire form seemed to shift, putting a lot of emphasis on his lower abdomen, causing it to 'swell' so that he looked like he was pregnant.

Sarah lost it and turned, dashing out of the room in a fit of half muffled laughter, and Maggie snorted rather loudly, before giggling into her hands.

"I can see that." I muttered. _Key words 'tied up' and 'expecting'._ I began to wonder if he was going to manage to go through them all before the day was out. "And you wear the uh, expectancy rather well." I snickered a little as Maggie choked on her efforts not to laugh. "Oh, have you seen the femme commander?" I bit my lip, hoping he didn't lock on to the fact that I hadn't called her by name.

He tilted his head a little, but nodded. "Thank you." He was frowning, however. "Elita had a meeting of her own to go to. She'll be around later." He was still looking at us, so he didn't notice the tiny form of his mate, dancing provocatively on his forearm and shucking her armor as she went. _Oh yeah, definitely gotta have her teach me some moves._

"Um, anyways. I need to go see if I can steal Sam away from Bee for a little while." I smiled toothily at him.

He nodded again, looking thoughtful. "It has been a while since they last visited, good luck with that."

I covered my mouth again, smothering the laughter that threatened to burst out when a large green hat appeared on his head, with a large four leaf clover hanging off the top of it. "Uh-hm." I faked another cough. "Thanks. I'll uh, see you later."

"Farewell." He nodded, before turning back to the television, the clover bobbling back and forth on top of his head.

With a choked laugh, I turned and dashed out of the room, Maggie hot on my heels the entire way. Oh, he was _not_ going to be happy when he figured out what we'd done. Not one bit.

**(Later, Normal POV)**

"Optimus." John Keller nodded as he entered the rec room.

Looking down from his spot on the couch, Optimus offered the secretary a hand up, before turning fully to the human. "Ah, secretary. I've been expecting you."

The secretary's eyes got wide and his haw dropped. "I, uh... I...see that." He blinked a moment. Opening he mouth, he appeared he was going to say something, but he closed his mouth again after a moment, his lips trembling.

"Is everything alright?"

He nodded silently a moment, before clearing his throat. "How about you?"

"I believe the human turn is 'peachy'."

Keller lost it and began laughing when Optimus' entire body turned pinkish in color and became fuzzy. A large green 'stem' came out of the top of his head and the look was complete.

"Alright, now I _know_ something is going on." A loud sigh was heard and Optimus shuttered his optics. "Everyone's been acting very strange today."

"Well, to be honest, I think you've been pranked." John snickered again and shook his head. "Whenever you say certain words, these...images appear around you. When you said 'peachy' you..." He snickered again and choked out a bit of a laugh. "You turned into a peach."

Blinking a moment, Optimus' eyes claimed a strange gleam. "I don't understand." A large yellow lightbulb appeared above his head, hovering in mid air as the secretary began laughing again. "I turned into a peach?"

"Key words, I suppose." Keller shrugged a little, biting his lip.

"Wonderful." Shuttering his optics again, Optimus shook his head. "I should have known. The twins are known for pulling the unexpected." He looked down at the sound of bicycle bells and frowned as a pair of identical blonde twins rode around the couch, blowing bubble gum, on one of those double seater bicycles. He blinked, before looking over at Keller. "This has been happening all day?" At his nod, he sighed.

"Busy busy, huh?"

"Very. They must have tampered with my holographic projectors while I was in recharge." Blinking again, his optics registered dozens of large fluffy feathers floating around his head. As he looked down, they appeared to fall, but as he looked up, they floated upwards. A quick experimentation showed they followed whatever direction he gazed in, before disappearing a moment later.

"This explains what everyone was laughing about." The sound of audience laughter filled the air around the room, and a bunch of red lipped mouths appeared, laughing around Optimus' head. "Yes, that would get tiring fast." Tires rolled by, and he growled slightly.

"Wrong tires." John murmured quietly, snickering into his hands.

"Very funny." Rolling his optics, Optimus slowly stood, offering a hand to the secretary. "Shall we go see if Ratchet is free?" Once the secretary was on his hand, he sighed. "I have to admit, they got me good." A frown covered his face. "I wonder what all the key words are?"

John began to laugh again, as a bunch of golden keys began appearing all over Optimus, seemingly hanging off his armor and jangling against his armor as he walked. "Well, I can tell you one."

At least Optimus finally had the answers to why everyone was acting so strange, and no one was seriously hurt. On the down side, he now had an excellent idea to get the twins back.

Hope you like it.

R+R please.

Thank you.

Tenshi


	61. Prowl, Underarm Issues

**Disclaimer** : I don't own it. I also don't own the Underarm Deoderant (Axe Dry) Commercial.

**Note** : A random review reply mention of 'ducking when arms are raised' basically had me thinking the deoderant commercial, and giggling at the image.

Thank you everyone for sticking with me. This is the final update for now.

* * *

**(Mikeala's POV)**

"Have you noticed...Prowl's been acting strange?" I tilted my head a little and turned to Sam, who raised an eyebrow back. "Well, the last few pranks he didn't glitch out, though he _did_ come close. One he actually _took pictures_ of, and _entered _them in a betting pool..."

Sam snickered a little. "Yeah, _that_ was weird, but funny. I still wanna know how Ironhide figured out it was Prowl."

"Ironhide found who created the pool, got the list of names, and eliminated them one by one, with his cannons." Realizing what I'd just said, I paused in the middle of the hall. "Well, not literally. He just questioned them and they didn't dare lie. The only one left by process of elimination was Prowl."

"And he owned up to it?"

"If there's one thing he's not, it's a coward."

"Or smart." Sam cringed when I shot him a look. "Well it's true. Think of it, those were _pictures_ of Ironhide with his lips fastened on Prime's ass." He abruptly began snickering. "I mean..." He chuckled a little more. "At least one of them's gonna be out for revenge."

Frowning slightly, I felt my lips tremble and raised an eyebrow. "Uh, actually..." Pulling Sam aside, I looked around carefully. "I passed by Optimus' office earlier, and overheard him talking to Ironhide." Blinking a moment, I leaned against the wall. "They're negotiating a temporary truce to the prank war in order to get him back for it."

"You mean they're working _together_??" Now Sam looked worried. "Oh man."

"Yeah, considering everything that's been going on, I'm kinda planning to try and be off base when that happens." I admitted, feeling my cheeks warm. It was a bit embarrasssing I was running from a prank, considering all I'd pulled and witnessed already, but when it came to those two... One of them on their own could pull quite the prank, but the two of them together?

Pursing his lips, Sam nodded and together we entered the main hangar. "What about an impromptu camping trip with Bee?"

I smiled at the little scout who looked over at the sound of his name. His little antennai perked right up when he spotted us, and his door wings stood almost straight up as he walked over, bouncing back and forth with his every step. "Sounds good to me. Hey, Bee." I waved at him, before climbing onto his palm, while Sam crawled onto his wrist.

"So Bee, what do you think? Wanna go camping?"

An excited nod was Sam's answer as Bee warbled slightly.

"Good. We'll be heading off whenever Prime and Ironhide intend to pull their prank." I watched as Bee's head shot to me, and his optics widened in alarm and excitement. "Yeah, they're working _together_ to prank someone." Giving Sam a 'shut it' look, I purposely kept the name to myself, as I wanted to hear all about whatever they'd undoubtedly do later.

"Oh boy." The sound clip was unfamiliar, and I giggled as Bee rolled his optics, carrying us outside. On the way, we passed Ironhide as he entered the room, and Bee began playing kissing sounds, before letting out a sound clip of a long fart.

I nearly fell off his hand laughing, as Ironhide snarled at him. I even had to hold onto Sam to keep him from falling over as we passed, and I could make out the laughter from the other side of the room, where Sunny and Sides were doubled over.

"Har. Har. Har"

Another farting sound clip met him as Bee quickly walked out of the room, only to pause and wince as he almost ran into Prime, who didn't look too pleased himself. Still, with a mock innocent whistle, Bee stepped around him and kept walking, keeping up the whistling until he got a good distance away. Then, with a wink to us, he played very loud kissing sounds, and the longest, nastiest fart clip he could find.

I fell off his hand laughing, luckily only to be caught again. I watched as Will and Epps fell over laughing near a C17 some distance away, and even Prowl smirked as he headed towards the main hangar. Optimus froze, on the other hand, turned, and began walking towards us with a blank look on his face.

With an adorable squeak, Bee clutched us to him and took off, leaving a lot of people laughing at the reminder of the prank.

**(That Night, Normal POV)**

Optimus exchanged a look with Ironhide as they stopped outside a room. "We'll find a way to get Ratchet back later?"

"Agreed." Ironhide's cannons whirled before they disappeared again, and he smirked lowly. Tapping a code into the door, he waited as it dwung open, and then walked in, Prime right behind him.

_**'Keep the rest of the conversation internal. We don't want to risk anyone overhearing us.'**_ Walking over, Optimus slowly tilted the head of the sleeping mech, before plucking two wires out, before relaxing. _**'Who would have thought he'd **_**take pictures**_**?'**_

_**'Or post them on the base internet?'**_ Ironhide added, a small amount of awe, overshadowed by worry in his tones. He walked forward, pulling some tubing a oxygen tanks from his shoulder and back. _**'Either way, let's get to work.'**_

_**'Right.'**_ Optics narrowed a little as Optimus shook his head and lifted the unconscious mech's arms over his head. _**'Once again, I must admit I fin your fascination with human 'commercials' completely confusing.'**_

The weapons sepcialist shrugged as he opened up a plating under one arm and began working. After a second, Optimus joined him on the other side. They slowly began working the thin tubes into the intricate workings on the mech body below them, and then attached one end to the oxygen tanks, which were shoved into spare holding tanks. The sensors were then messed with, so he'd never know about the alterations.

Once they were done, they exchanged a look, and Ironhide gathered up the materials. As he walked out of the room, Optimus carefully reattached the wires and snuck out after him. Then, they transformed and took off down the hall.

**(Next Day)**

Prowl growled lowly, his door wings trembling in irritation as he walked along. He passed several humans, careful to step over them and not on them as he went, and growling at one who tried to stop him for a talk. "Not. Now." _I'm gonna slag them. I'm gonna find out who did this and blast them a new aft._

As he entered the main hangar, he walked towards the center of the room, and paused, looking around. _Bumblebee wouldn't dare do this... The twins... They are a possibility._ Something clicked in his processor. _But they were out with Jazz and Jolt, running rounds through Diego Garcia, making sure we were secure._ His optics narrowed as he looked around. _Ratchet..._ While he _was _a possibility, it was highly unlikely.

Then he caught Optimus' optics darting in his direction and filled with satisfaction. He blinked a moment, his processors taking in the fact that Optimus was obviously involved. _He...pranked me?_ Optics narrowed warningly. _Wouldn't be the first time._ He then caught Ironhide trying to hide a snicker, and hummed to himself. _So this was what Mikeala meant, when I overheard her talking to Sam about the two getting together to prank someone._

With a low snarl, he started forward, only to be stopped by Sideswipe.

"Hey Prowl, have you seen Bumblebee? The fragger scratched my paint job earlier, and promised to fix it, then ran off." Optics flashed as he looked around.

_And people say he isn't as bad as his brother._ Frowning slightly, Prowl spotted Bumblebee half hiding behind a C17 across the hangar, and gestured with his head towards it. "Over there."

"Huh?" Sides hadn't been watching, and spun back around at the second in command's voice. "Where?"

He gestured again, with his head, glaring at Optimus, who seemed to be chuckling quietly. "Over there."

Sides looked in the general direction and frowned. "Uh, I don't see him. Why don't you just point him out?"

Raising an optic ridge Prowl sighed and growled a little, before lifting his arm and pointing. Then he frowned and glared as Sides, with a loud yelp, was blasted across the room by the pressure of the water cannon that began shooting from his underarm.

"Hey!" Sideswipe choked as he rolled across the hangar. Luckily, there were no humans in the room, as the silver and black mech tumbled head over heels across the room, past the C17, and right next to Bumblebee. Choking a little more, he wiped his face, glared as Prowl lowered his arm, and then turned to Bee, who was almost doubled over in laughter. "Oh." He turned back to Prowl and raised a hand. "Thanks! You _could_ have just told me, you know!" With a snicker, he got up, and looked down. "Oh, hey, my paint job's nice and shiny. Huh."

A loud chorus of laughter echoed through the room, as Prowl turned and glared at Optimus, who was leaning against Ironhide, both laughing their afts off.

"You." His tone was low and deadly as he walked over. He stopped in front of them and raised a hand to point at them, freezing and groaning when Ratchet took a blast to the face, and was sent sputtering backwards.

"Something wrong, Prowl?" Ironhide snickered lowly.

Prime laughed a little more, before shaking his head. "I believe they call that...." His optics went dim as he searched. "B.O."

Ratchet raised an optic ridge as he wiped off his face, and stepped backwards. "Ever heard of deoderant, Prowl?" Even he was getting into the prank, a slight smirk crossing his features.

Sunny joined his brother as they approached Prowl, and they stood on either side of him, laughing and shaking their heads. "Let me guess..." He looked to the other mechs, before his smirk grew. "They found out about the betting pool and your picture."

_And who _led_ them to me?_ Optics narrowing slowly, Prowl hid the urge to smirk as he quickly raised both arms. He watched, in amusement, as Sideswipe at least knew enough this time to duck back, out of the way. Unfortunately, Sunstreaker wasn't as lucky and got a face full of water, blasted across the hangar with the force. As he slowly lowered his arms, he turned and shot Sides a look, as the twin went over to the yellow 'Vette.

"Ahhhh! My paint!" Sunstreaker slowly stood up and glared over at Prowl, oil dripping from his body and pooling below him. He growled and took a step forward, only for his wheeled feet to spin and lost traction. He fell over backwards, grabbing Sides' arm and dragging him with him. "Frag!"

"Sunny!"

"Don't call me that!!"

Watching them struggle to get out of the large puddle of oil from the burst canisters Sunstreaker had landed on, Prowl slowly turned back to Ironhide and Prime, both of which were in the process of sneaking away. Locking optics with them, he watched as they exchanged a look and transformed, taking off at the speed of light. Then he sighed and turned to Ratchet, who was shaking his head and muttering about needing a brig.

* * *

Hope you like it.

R+R please.

Thank you.

Tenshi


	62. The Twins, Cow Tipping

**Disclaimer** : I don't own it.

**Note** : A review submitted by **DitzyMusicLover** inspired this. Not what they were talking about, but a totally random idea inspired by it. XD

* * *

**(Normal POV)**

"I'm bored."

Everyone in the room froze as the infamous words were spoke, their optics widening in fright and wariness, even as they turned to the one to speak the two innocent words. Bumblebee crouched down, prepared to grab his charge and run for his spark if need be, and Ironhide remained standing, only out of the sheer strength of will he possessed, even as the yellow Corvette sighed, ignoring them.

Sideswipe looked at his brother, raising an optic ridge. "I dunno about you, but I'm pretty pranked out, bro."

Ironhide's optics twitched, and he very nearly fell over backwards in shock. _Wow. Primus, I never expected to hear _that_ from either one of those two._ He blinked, frowning slightly.

And his frown was mirrored by almost every other face in the room, Autobot and human alike.

Sunstreaker turned to his brother. "So? I'm _bored_. I've repainted myself ten times today alone, and can't afford anymore harsh chemicals on my armor, or I risk the colors bleeding into each other." He shuddered in horror at the thought. "And I've repainted my room twice to match."

"_Our_ room."

The silver twin was ignored. "I've finished my work on base, and I haven't been _off_ base for a month!"

"So get _off_ base!" Ironhide finally snapped, his optics twitching as he watched the yellow twin suddenly perk.

Sunstreaker shot a mild glare at the weapons specialist for being yelled at, before realizing what had been said. Even as a look of regret began to cross Ironhide's face, he turned and transformed. _**'Really?! Thanks old bot!'**_ He was off in a squeal of tires, hearing his brother right behind him as he went, and together they abandoned base eagerly.

Ironhide watched them leave with a look of mild horror dawning in his face.

"You realize what you've just done, right?" Will's own eye was twitching, his hand poised over his pistol and his fingers twitching in sync with his eye as he watched them go.

"Oh yeah." Eyeing the nearest wall, Ironhide began to wonder if banging his head off it would do more damage to the wall, or him. "We're fragged."

**(With the Twins)**

Even as the twins streaked across the countryside, they soon found themselves pausing outside of a farm. Sunstreaker idled silently, watching as a nearby bovine recharged on, unaware of their presence. With a smirk, he raised an optic ridge, before a sudden data burst and nearly silent snicker reached his systems. Opening the file packet his twin had sent, he felt his hidden optics widen as he once again gazed upon the bovine in front of him.

A quick scan told him no one was home at the residence nearby, so he snuck up to the fence, extending tiny spindly arms from his front grill and reaching out. With a silent shudder of with held laughter, he pushed against the cow's side, the arms proving tougher than they looked as the cow fell over with ease, 'moo'ing upon wakening as it hit the ground.

_**'Oh Primus that was priceless!'**_ Sideswipe broke out laughing over their bond, and they drove off in search of more fun.

Sunstreaker didn't bother answering, a smirk written across his hidden face as a sudden idea hit him. _**'Remember that the humans don't yet have recharge berths for us?'**_ He got a sense of confirmation and his smirk grew. _**'How about we go Autobot tipping?'**_ He suddenly reversed, ignoring the alarmed honk Sideswipe gave as he gracefully swerved around his brother's form and back towards the farm.

Sideswipe snarled quietly for the unexpected and careless move, before he suddenly froze. _**'Autobot tipping?'**_ The idea both frightened and amused him in one.

Sunstreaker transformed silently, reaching over and using a vent in his wrist to vent sleeping gas on the bovine below him. He watched as half of them fell over, their legs in the air before they rolled on to their sides, and the others remained standing. Then he picked up two of them. _**'Ironhide and the other senior officers have their sensors tuned higher than ours.'**_

His twin watched his actions, barely disguising the look of disgust as Sunny picked up two of the sweaty, stinky creatures. _**'Yeah I know. What's with the history lesson?'**_

_**'Not a history lesson, a **_**reminder**_**.'**_ Sunstreaker handed the two unconscious bovine to his twin before picking up two more. _**'The sounds these bovine make wouldn't be enough to wake us, but with their higher sensors...'**_ He trailed off as he ducked into the vast desert, making a B-line far from the road and slowly towards the side fence line of the distant base, where a weakness in the fencing would allow them to slip the cows through, but keep the cows from getting back out.

Getting the plan, Sideswipe's optics widened in alarm and amusement, and he followed his brother to the weakness in the fence line, slipping the unconscious cattle through, before following Sunstreaker's lead back to the main gate, transforming and making it through, before 'casually' disappearing once again.

**(Later)**

Many of the Autobots remained in the main hangar, in their bipedal forms, recharging. While alternate forms were an option, they tended to get cramped after a certain amount of time. As it was, humans shuddered unconsciously as they took in the still forms with the darkened optics, barely able to understand how anyone could be comfortable recharging on their feet.

Once the hangar cleared out, Sunstreaker and Sideswipe lit their optics and exchanged a smirk. They silently crept out of the room, making their way across the base to the cattle, and carefully picking them up. Luckily, the bovine were still dazed and remained silent, or at least very quiet, as the Autobot twins made their way back, placing the cattle in the room.

Then they made their way to the door, exchanging another look and leaning against the wall, waiting for the magic to begin.

It started with Bumblebee.

The cow in front of him seemed to wake up first, sending off a mild 'moo'. That was more than enough, however, and the scout's heightened sensors caught the sound, amplifying it, and causing him to jump as he woke with a start, losing his balance with a warble and falling over backwards.

That, of course, startled the other cows, who 'mooed' louder.

The Autobots began to awaken with a start. Ratchet jumped, knocking into Jazz and sending them both over sideways. Then Chromia jumped, her and her sisters getting tangled in each other and collapsing in a heap of lengthy limbs and a chorus of cries.

"Cow tipping I've heard of. Trust us to create 'Autobot Tipping'." Sideswipe snickered.

Optimus' optics snapped on, wide with shock and alarm, even as a rather startled look fixed itself across _all_ his features, and he slowly began to fall over backwards.

"TIMMMMMMMMBBBEERRRRRRR!" Sideswipe yelled, laughing and wincing as the large Autobot leader hit the ground hard, causing the entire hangar to shake.

Sunstreaker laughed as well. "Wow. It's really true, what they say. The bigger you are, the harder you fall." He high fived his brother, then froze.

A loud, deep growl seemed to reverberate through the room. Slowly the twins turned to look, and blinked, both their sparks sending intense waves of fear to the other as they took in the sight before them.

"Oh pit! It's Frank!"

Ironhide ignored the rather strange comment as he took in his fallen -quite literally, too- comrades, and the perpetrators, who were running around like...well...bovine with their heads cut off. He glowered at the twins, his cannons rolling angrily as he stepped forward, grunting, huffing, and growling even louder.

Anyone who saw his optics shot out of his way as fast as humanly -or in some cases, mechly- possible as he began to run after the suddenly retreating forms. His optics flashed a deep, angry red as he heard them screaming at each other to run faster, ignoring Optimus' call to him to watch out for the humans as he jumped over sleepy soldiers and dashed through the door, taking the sharpest corners with surprisingly agility.

"Run, dumbaft, run!" Sunstreaker called, glancing over his shoulder.

Sideswipe was panting as he sped forward, his wheeled feet moving faster than they'd ever moved before. "I _am_ running, glitch!" He yelped, jumping to the side and narrowly avoiding a blast that left a charred, smoking hole in the pavement behind him. "Smart move, genius!" He yelled, splitting off from his twin. "It was all _his_ idea!" He pointed at the yellow twin as he took off towards the barracks, dodging and weaving between hangars as Ironhide _roared_ with rage.

"I bloody well _hate_ you!" Sunstreaker screamed, ducking under a blast, and jumping over the fence line of the base, making his way towards the mountain line.

Ironhide didn't even slow down as he grunted and growled again, chasing the yellow twin, the _known_ perpetrator, over the fence and towards the mountains.

Back at the base, everyone was placing bets on whether or not Sunstreaker would manage to get away, or Sideswipe would be an only child before morning.

* * *

**Note** : Random idea. XD Some of this (including the 'Frank' line) was inspired by a conversation with **greenleafprince**, and a video from 'Cars' that I watched online. XD

Hope you like it.

R+R please.

Thank you.

Tenshi


End file.
